Episode One Hundred and Twenty-Three
“Shigure-san, you perv”
Sitting in a tight huddle at the edge of the bed, Ibara glared at me with half-closed eyes, giving off a “stare-down” vibe.
Hands pressed against her stomach, her face flushed crimson up to her ears, she murmured in protest.
“I told you not to touch my stomach. And you just kept going and going and going and going……”
“I’m sorry.”
I knelt on the floor in seiza position to apologise.
The heat of the moment had completely cooled.
It had been utter recklessness. I’d been consumed by the desire to touch Ibara and elicit a reaction.
The term ‘cute aggression’ flashed through my mind.
It describes the urge to roughly crush or devour something adorable.
Probably that.
Ibara was cute, too cute, and I’d been swallowed by impulse.
Still, that’s no excuse.
“Sorry, you didn’t like it, did you? I won’t tickle Ibara ever again.”
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
“………………Well, if you’d just said so beforehand… occasionally… as part of physical affection…”
Occasionally, eh?
Huh? So I just need permission? Would she give it?
That somehow feels like—
“No, never mind! It’s fine now. I’m not angry anymore!”
“Ah, right.”
I redirected my thoughts, which had started heading off in the wrong direction.
“I was the one who said you could use me as a body pillow… I just didn’t expect you to tickle me like that.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“Oh dear. Today was supposed to be my turn to spoil you, Shigure-san.”
Come to think of it, she had said something like that. About wanting to spoil me, or heal me.
Was she serious?
“I appreciate the sentiment… but hmm, it just doesn’t feel quite right… I am older, after all… and I’m a working adult…”
“Does that sort of thing matter?”
Ibara cut me off sharply.
“Because we’re going to live together, aren’t we?”
“Well…”
True.
“Right now, Shigure-san might be right. For now. I’m the child, Shigure-san is the adult. But will it always be like that? It won’t, will it? Next year I’ll be a university student, and in two years I’ll be twenty.”
As she spoke, Ibara grew increasingly heated.
I’d always thought it, but this girl was the type whose energy level rose as she talked.
“We’re going to be proper lovers, right? Then let’s try to be as equal as possible. For every time I lean on you, Shigure-san, you can lean on me too. You have to lean on me. You can’t hold back.”
“Well, I don’t think it’s that easy…”
“No good. Aki-chan said so. Relationships that aren’t equal absolutely won’t last.”
Just the fact that the speaker was Aki-san made it infinitely more persuasive.
“So, Shigure-san…”
Ibara broke her cross-legged position and sat up straight.
She ended up looking down at me from the bed.
“Rely on me more. Lean on me. Please.”
“Even now, I feel like I’m leaning on you quite a bit, Ibara.”
“Not at all. It’s nowhere near enough.”
Ibara declared indignantly.
“How much do you think I’ve been spoiled by you all this time?”
“I don’t recall it being that much…”
“Well, this is why~”
She sighed deeply.
“Listen, Shigure-san. I’m incredibly grateful to you. For the insomnia, for Hiname, for my family home… I realise I’m relying on you massively, leaning on you completely, all the time.”
“You really don’t need to worry about that.”
“That sort of thing.”
Ibara said, sounding sulky.
“That just adds one point to your pampering tally, you know.”
“What’s that?”
“Points that get added when Shigure-san spoils me. They get deducted when I spoil Shigure-san. So ideally, it should be zero points.”
“What’s it like now?”
“About plus twenty thousand points.”
“That’s bloody inflationary…”
“Exactly!”
Ibara patted the bed with her palms, making a soft thump-thump sound.
“In my subjective view, it’s that lopsided. This is a grave situation, Shigure-san. I’ll say it again and again—”
She cleared her throat with a cough.
“I want to keep relying on you, Shigure-san, for a long, long time. I want to stay in love forever, and I want you to spoil me like a princess.”
“Fine.”
“N-hehe… No, wait!”
Ibara pulled her face, which had been on the verge of melting, back into a serious expression and continued.
“It’s not enough for me to just me to be spoiled. When I become a university student, get a job… even then, if I’m the only one being spoiled, I think one day Shigure-san might start thinking, ‘Why?’ or ‘This is a bother,’ or ‘Why always me?’”
What do you think?
Could there ever come a day when I find it bothersome to spoil Ibara?
At least, right now, I can’t imagine it at all.
Of course, Ibara continued.
“Shigure-san is incredibly kind, so it might not happen. But it’s a possibility, right? That’s why I want to give back, bit by bit.”
“The twenty thousand points?”
“That’s right. This is, in my own way, a risk-management strategy.”
Ibara continued.
“I want you to need me too, Shigure-san, just as I can’t live without you anymore.”
──I already feel that way.
I swallowed the words that came to mind.
No, that’s not it. This is about making a decision to keep the ‘now’ going.
To keep this ‘now’ going forever, Ibara is trying to maintain an even relationship with me.
“So please, Shigure-san, lean on me. I’ll lean on you in return.”
Ibara’s reasoning is undoubtedly sound.
Mutual support feels healthier, more resilient.
I want to respond to her.
But, this troubles me.
How does one go about leaning on someone?