Sleeping Beauty and the Kind Witch. Part 1

“My big sister’s kind, you know.”

I nodded silently to myself at the words Shizuku murmured.
I know. Shigure-san is kind.

“It’s probably partly because I’m her much younger sister. But she’s never refused anything I’ve asked for.”

“…Yeah.”

“But ever since job hunting started, she’s looked really worn out. Even when she comes back to our parents’ place, she’s just so drained. I felt like if I spoke to her, I’d end up clinging to her, so I decided to keep my distance.”

“Even though you’re sisters?”

“Precisely because we’re sisters. You’d think she could treat her little sister a bit more casually.”

“But my sister is kind, so…” she continues in that tone.

“If I catch a cold, she nurses me back to health. When our parents aren’t around, she cooks for us. If we watch a horror film, she sleeps with me that night. That sort of thing… you should leave that to a lover.”

Haaah, I sighed.
In contrast to Shizuku, who I couldn’t tell if she was angry or just bragging, I was secretly shocked.
Ah.
　So that’s how it is.
Everything Shigure-san has ever done for me, all the kindness she’s shown me, was just normal for her.
It wasn’t ‘special’.

“Then maybe big sis could—” Wait, what? What’s wrong, Ibara?

“Eh?”

“Why are you crying?”

I touched my cheek with my fingertips. It was definitely wet.
No, no, no.
　Why?
It’s ridiculous to cry here, no matter what.
It’s not like I’ve been dumped or disliked or anything like that at all.
She’s been kind to me, properly.
Crying because I’m not being treated more specially than his real sister… how pathetic am I?
I knew it.
I haven’t had any composure for ages now.
Panicked, Shizuku leaned over from the bed.

“Are you… alright? Does something hurt?”

“Sorry, it’s nothing.”

“No, it can’t be nothing…”

“I’m really fine.”

“Well, if you say so…”

“More importantly, Shizuku, if you can’t sleep, you should go back and borrow Shigure-san’s bed. And you need to talk properly.”

“──Hm?”

“Right then.”

I stood up and left the infirmary, almost as if I were fleeing.

†

The infirmary at dusk.
Still lying on the bed, Shizuku murmured softly.

“…Did I tell that girl my sister’s name?”

†

Changing into loafers at the shoe locker, I quicken my pace across the schoolyard tinged crimson.
Strange.
When did I become so greedy?
At first, I only wanted to sleep beside her.
Then came the spare key, the hugs, the kisses, becoming lovers.
Each time I felt fulfilled, it only left me wanting more, craving what lay beyond.
　Just past the first corner after leaving the school gates, I opened the chat room on my phone.
I typed, ‘I want to see you,’ and hovered my finger over the send button.
But I couldn’t press it.
If I sent the message, Shigure-san would surely come running. Because she’s kind.
But that wasn’t it.
I loved how kind Shigure-san was, but what I wanted right now wasn’t kindness.
The last message I’d sent, ‘I’m lonely,’ blurred with tears.
　In that instant, my phone vibrated.
A call.
Seeing the name displayed, I reflexively pressed the answer button.
My heart pounding, I pressed the phone to my ear.

‘Ibara?’

It was Shigure-san’s voice.

‘Sorry for calling out of the blue. Are you alright right now?’

“…Yeah, I’m fine.”

　Not true.
I was straining every nerve not to sob.

‘Work finished early, so I thought I’d take Shizuku out for dinner. But I couldn’t get through on the phone. Her cram school should be closed today too. Do you know anything?’

Shizuku’s resting in the infirmary. Just sleep deprivation, she’ll be fine.
She couldn’t answer because she left her phone in the art room. No need to worry.
　I tried to say that, but the words caught in my throat and wouldn’t come out.

“…Ibara?”

“Why?”

Instead, what came out was a pathetic, tearful voice.

“Why Shizuku?”

“Eh?”

“I want to have dinner with Shigure-san too.”

“Eh, but with you, Ibara, I can anytime…”

“I know that!”

I know. This is just me being selfish.
Wanting her to prioritise me over Shizuku, her temporary live-in little sister, is utterly unreasonable.
It’s not about ranking them or deciding who’s more important. Family, lover, friends. Of course they’re all important.
But.

“I know, but I feel lonely. Is it because Shizuku is your sister?　Because Yomi-san is your best friend? Is that why you’re kind to everyone, Shigure-san? Why can’t I be special to you?”

I know I’m talking nonsense.
But I can’t stop.

“I thought you were kind to me because I was special. I thought you’d forgive my selfishness. But if that’s not it, then I don’t want your kindness. I don’t want to be treated the same as everyone else. I don’t want it.”

I blurted it all out in one breath, gasping for air.
There was no reply.
My vision blurred again.

“…Sorry for suddenly saying such strange things.”

I stifled a sob and rubbed the corners of my eyes.

“Please don’t hate me.”

“I won’t.”

The voice came from two places: right by my ear and from behind me.