Episode 28: Blaming It on the Winter Cold and the Illuminations
“Asami-san, aren’t those dark circles under your eyes pretty bad?”
The moment we met in the hotel lobby that morning, Hanamori said it.
She’d apparently gotten the front desk staff to deal with the cockroach that morning and retrieved her luggage safely.
“…Couldn’t sleep.”
“Guess it was cramped, huh. Sorry about that.”
“Ah, no, that’s not it exactly…”
“I slept great, though.”
Hanamori said it, breezy as anything.
No way. Seriously?
After being pressed together that closely.
After wrapping her arm around my waist, pressing her chest against my back.
She slept great?
“…Well, good for you.”
I answered, drained of energy.
So Hanamori really had just thought of me as a body pillow or something, apparently.
“I’ll grab coffee at the convenience store while we check out.”
“Ah, sure. Thanks.”
With that, Hanamori headed into the nearby convenience store.
Watching her back, I found myself remembering last night. Hanamori’s body heat. Her breath. The softness I’d felt against my back.
Ugh, no. There I go again, thinking weird things.
The morning had one more client appointment. Using the materials we’d prepared, I gave the presentation.
Hanamori’s support was flawless too, and we landed a solid prospect for the order.
“Good work today.”
We exchanged the words after leaving the client’s building.
“Good work. Glad today went well too.”
“Yep. Thanks to me.”
“You’re not supposed to say that about yourself.”
“You never compliment me, Asami-san, so I compliment myself.”
“Huh? I was literally about to compliment you just now. Never mind.”
This one’s shamelessness really never changes.
Trading that kind of nonsense, we left the client’s building behind.
In the afternoon, we handled one more in-person meeting, then moved to a nearby coworking space.
We knocked out online appointments with existing clients and a sales department meeting.
A packed schedule, one way or another.
Before I knew it, it was six, and it had already gone dark outside.
“Guess we should head back soon.”
I said.
“I’ll just grab an unreserved seat, whatever’s open.”
“Right. Looks like the next shinkansen leaves at six-forty.”
We had a little time before the train.
We decided to walk slowly toward the station.
Stepping outside, the city was glittering with light.
Illuminations.
Countless strings of lights wrapped around the roadside trees, coloring the winter night. Apparently this area’s a fairly well-known spot for it; there were plenty of tourists too.
And it was packed with couples.
Couples walking hand in hand.
Couples leaning into each other.
Couples taking photos of each other.
Everywhere I looked, couples. Couples. Couples.
And through the middle of it, two women who weren’t a couple or anything of the sort.
Awkward.
Unbearably awkward.
We walked in silence. Under the glittering lights, side by side, saying nothing.
Nothing but couples around us.
Maybe from the outside, we looked like a couple too, the two of us. No, at this distance between us, probably not. I found myself thinking about it.
“Haah. What did I do to deserve walking down a street like this with you, Asami-san?”
Hanamori muttered, out of nowhere.
“That’s my line, actually.”
I shot back instantly.
“If it were Tamura-san, this would totally be a good mood right now.”
Her voice was unusually exaggerated. Deliberately so. The usual light banter. That familiar feeling of Hanamori’s icy teasing.
—I’m happy.
Somewhere in me, I found myself happy that we could talk like this again.
During the fight, we couldn’t even manage this much conversation. Cold stares, being ignored, kept at a distance. And now, here we were, trading jabs like this again.
“But the illuminations are pretty, huh?”
Hanamori said.
Just then, she stopped walking and slowly looked up.
Her profile lit by the glow.
White breath escaping from slightly parted lips.
Countless points of light reflected in her eyes.
Hanamori’s eyes looked like they were sparkling. Reflecting the illumination lights, like jewels. With an innocent, childlike expression, she gazed at the sea of light.
“Yeah, it’s pretty.”
I answered, looking her way.
“Want a picture?”
Hanamori asked.
“Eh, you want to take one?”
“Well, might as well.”
“Ah, I get it. You’re gonna crop me out and use it for some boyfriend-implication post on social media.”
“What do you take me for? I wouldn’t do that.”
Hanamori laughed softly, pulling out her phone.
She adjusted her scarf slightly, smoothed her bangs.
The gesture looked, somehow, unusually cute. A side of her she doesn’t usually show.
She switched to selfie mode, framing both our faces along with the illuminations. Hanamori rose up slightly on her toes, adjusting the angle.
The sight was cute, like a small animal.
“Okay, taking it.”
Click.
“One more.”
Hanamori said, tilting her head slightly this time, lifting the corners of her mouth.
That gesture. That angle. That expression.
Cute.
Click.
Hanamori checked her phone and immediately showed me the screen.
“Pfft, ahaha. Asami-san, you’ve got your eyes half-closed in this one.”
“Whoa, you’re right. Delete that.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Huh!?”
“Might make this my LIME icon.”
“Please don’t.”
“Kidding.”
The illumination lights lit up Hanamori’s profile as she laughed, eyes narrowed.
Face half-buried in her scarf, cheeks reddened by the cold air, gazing at the glittering scenery.
She looked unfairly cute. Infuriating.
Hanamori noticed my gaze and turned to look at me.
“What?”
Her eyes watched me, faintly curious. Head tilted slightly. That gesture, cute all over again.
“No, nothing.”
I looked away in a hurry.
“You were making a weird face while looking over here.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You were. Your eyes went all squinty, kind of perverted.”
“…Wh-what!? Calling me a pervert again…”
“It’s true, though.”
Hanamori cackled.
That laughing face, cute all over again.
“I’m probably just tired.”
“Because you couldn’t sleep last night?”
Hanamori asked. Her eyes were laughing, just a little. Catching the light, her eyes sparkled.
“…Yeah, maybe.”
“Why… couldn’t you sleep?”
Hanamori asked.
Looking up at me slightly, watching me.
“…Eh, ehh? No, that’s, um, well, uh…”
My answer came out in a stammering mess.
Pressed together that close, feeling her warmth, her breath. There was no way I could’ve slept.
“Fufu, what’s with that? So weird.”
Hanamori laughed.
That laugh melted into the winter air. Clear, soft, sweet.
“It’s cold, huh.”
Hanamori said, rewrapping her scarf. The tip of her nose had gone bright red from the cold. That, too, was cute.
We walked side by side. Slowly, beneath the glow of the lights. Wrapped in the happy atmosphere of the couples around us.
Every so often, when Hanamori spotted a particularly pretty string of lights, she’d let out a small “wow.” Each time, she’d stop, stare, and take a photo with her phone.
That profile. Those gestures. That voice.
All of it, unbearably cute.
I really hate to admit it, but that’s what I thought.
My heart felt itchy somehow, a sharp, aching throb.
—I decided to blame this feeling on the winter cold and the illuminations.