Episode 134: Endo-san’s Worries (1)

“Hoshizora-chan, Hina-chan, it’s been so long~!”

Hikari-san launched herself at us with full force. She really is an energetic person, as always.

Today was the day Mayo-san and Hikari-san had planned to come visit Takizawa and me at home. They both attend university in the neighbouring prefecture, and with summer break upon them they’d come to see us.

Mayo-san is in her fifth year of medical school, Hikari-san is a third-year, and we’re first-years. Having people of such different ages all gathered together felt somehow fun.

“Hina-chan, Hoshizora — looking forward to today~”

A woman with a composed, adult elegance walked in. Whenever I see Mayo-san she always has this quality of maturity, of ease — and something about it was thoroughly irritating.

Apparently when Takizawa recently told Mayo-san we were going out, both of them made a fuss about wanting to come over.

Since they’d both listened to my worries back in high school, I’d wanted to thank them properly when I had the chance.

Today we decided to make imoni together at home.

“Hina-chan, would you help me make the imoni?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Hikari and Hoshizora, could you go out and get drinks and snacks?”
“Got it~!”

Hikari-san and Takizawa bustled out the door. With Hikari-san — who had been in constant conversation — now gone, a quiet settled over our home.

Mayo-san was cutting vegetables with a slight smile. I hurried to start cutting too.

“Hina-chan, so you and Hoshizora ended up getting together.”
“Yes.”
“That’s wonderful. How are things with her?”

Asked how are things, I wasn’t quite sure what the right answer was.

“I’m very happy. And thank you for all the advice you gave me in high school.”
“Is that so. I’m glad.”

Mayo-san, looking happier than me about it, was gazing warmly at the vegetables. Could I lean on her a little…?

I decided to open up to Mayo-san about something I couldn’t tell anyone else.

“But sometimes I don’t know how to be with her.”
“What do you mean?”

Mayo-san kept her hands moving as she listened — how capable she is, I thought, as I continued.

“We’re going out, but the situation isn’t really different from before…”

If anything, we were physically closer in high school.

Finding myself troubled by something like this — relationships really were a lot of work, I thought.

Mayo-san burst out laughing. Even though this was something I was genuinely struggling with — that was a little unkind of her.

I put the neatly cut daikon and carrot into a bowl. Vegetables I can cut cleanly. Cooking I can do reasonably well. Sports, studies — those had all come to me at a reasonable level.

But love always ends up in a dead end, troubling me — happy sometimes, but suffocating at others.

What would make it go well?

“You two have had a broken sense of distance since high school, haven’t you.”
“…Sorry.”
“I’m not saying that’s bad. Hina-chan should just go ahead and make a move on Hoshizora.”

The taro root slipped clean out of my hand and rolled into the sink.

I hurried to retrieve it and rinsed it. The taro was slippery and I couldn’t cut it cleanly anymore. It slipped out of my hands again. Today’s taro was being particularly difficult.

“You’re way too flustered, Hina-chan.”

Mayo-san’s laughter rang through the room again. Maybe consulting this person was a mistake. No — what she was saying wasn’t wrong.

At this rate things would stay at an impasse forever. I want to be closer to Takizawa, and I want to go further than we have.

But what does Takizawa think?

If she doesn’t want to, I don’t want to push. But I want to be close to her. And since this is my first relationship, I don’t know what to do.

“I can’t do that if I think Takizawa might not want it.”
“Hmm — I think Hoshizora will say no if she doesn’t want something. Especially with you, Hina-chan. So I think the only way is to try.”

Mayo-san cheerfully rolled the vegetables into the large pot. My neatly cut pieces were absorbed into the pot one after another.

“Mayo-san, if you did something like that with Hikari-san and she said no — wouldn’t that hurt?”
“It really would. But I’d want to hear why.”
“Why is that?”
“There are things you can’t understand without talking. You talk it out together, and find an answer you can both accept. That’s what being in a relationship means, I think.”

Mayo-san reached over and gently stroked my head. Her hand was similar to Takizawa’s — warm and reassuring.

“Ah, those two are being all cosy~!”

Before I’d noticed, Hikari-san and Takizawa were back, shopping bags hanging from both hands.

Since Mayo-san offered to handle the seasoning for the imoni, I moved to my room to prepare the sleeping arrangements for the two of them — and found Takizawa right behind me, which startled me.

“What are you doing, Endo-san?”
“I was going to prepare the room for the two of them — I was thinking they could use my bed.”
“They can sleep in my room.”
“What? Your room?”
“Yeah. Help me tidy it?”
“O-okay?”

My arm was taken and I was pulled into Takizawa’s room.

The door clicked shut behind us, and she immediately closed the distance and fixed me with a pointed stare.

Then she ran her hand down over my hair, slipping her fingers through it. I was wondering what she was doing when my hair was pulled, sharply. It stung a little, and I leaned my face toward her.

“Takizawa…?”
“Why was Mayo-nee stroking your head.”
“Wha…?”

I’d been pouring out pathetic worries, and she’d probably just been treating me fondly, like a younger sibling. But there was no way I could say I’d been consulting her about Takizawa — and that sudden move left my feelings entirely behind.

“Endo-san is my girlfriend, right?”
“Yeah——”
“Then Endo-san’s hair is mine too, right?”
“U-um, yeah…?”
“Don’t let other people touch it so much——”

Takizawa said that with a completely straight face, then released my hair and walked out of the room.

I felt as though my heart was about to pop right out of my chest.