Chapter Five: “The Princess Wants to Seize the Chance” — Part Six
I was startled by my own words.
I hadn’t meant to say anything like try going out, just as a trial.
“I, I mean, look! Going from nothing straight into being a girlfriend is probably confusing, right? So having a trial period would make it easier for you to think it over, wouldn’t it?!”
I was aware I was saying something completely nonsensical. But I needed her to bear with me.
“I-if you decide you don’t like it, we can just stop, it’s only a trial, but, but I’ll genuinely treat you like my girlfriend the whole time, and if it goes well, maybe, maybe you’d actually want to go out properly, and…”
The tears started before I could stop them. Crying through a confession was a burden on the other person. I knew that. Knowing it didn’t help me stop.
“I won’t do anything you’d hate, there’s no contract or anything, so it’s not like there’s any downside for you, Senpai, so…”
I let go of her mouth and gripped her hand instead. Reflected in her eyes, I must have looked a mess.
Oh, honestly.
After all the effort I’d put into dressing up, into looking my absolute cutest for today.
After all the confession lines I’d rehearsed.
My makeup was a ruin of tears, and crying and clinging like this was only going to make things harder for her.
“…Iori-senpai. Please. Please don’t say no…”
A tear fell onto Senpai’s arm. She smiled, and wiped beneath my eyes with her finger.
“Don’t cry, Himena-chan.”
“…Then please don’t say no.”
The moment I said it, I regretted how much it sounded like a child’s tantrum. I wanted her to fall for me, and instead I might be making her dislike me like this.
“…Listen, Himena-chan. I do enjoy being with you, and I do think you’re cute, and I don’t like the idea of you going out with anyone else.”
But, she murmured, taking a slow breath.
“Honestly, I don’t know if this is love. I’ve never fallen in love with anyone before.”
A sharp ache went through my chest. She looked at my face and bowed her head slightly. I’m sorry.
She doesn’t know if it’s love.
Cruel, and yet I believed it was her honest feeling.
“…Himena-chan. I’m sorry the answer turned out like this. But I want to find out properly what this feeling toward you actually is.”
“…Does that mean…”
“Yes. I want to try going out with you. On a trial basis.”
I understood the condition attached. Even so, the relief of not being refused outright left my whole body weak.
The tears wouldn’t stop, and I covered my face with both hands. I knew I should pull myself together, but my body wasn’t listening.
It’s all right. I get to stay by Senpai’s side after all.
Senpai stayed quiet and gently stroked my head.
“…What is it about me you like so much, Himena-chan?”
Everything was too vague a word to actually convey it.
“It started as love at first sight. But it’s not just looks now. I really admire how dedicated you are to the things you love, how straightforward and hardworking you are, and the childlike, easygoing side of you is so adorable…”
I genuinely meant every word, and yet saying it out loud made it sound cheap and inadequate, which frustrated me.
I wished Senpai could just look directly inside my head instead.
“I want to be with you always, I want to be someone special to you. Which is why it has to be as girlfriends, nothing less.”
I wiped my tears roughly with the back of my hand. Some of my mascara came off with them, but I kept my eyes straight on her, refusing to look down.
“Iori-senpai.”
I said her name and took her hand. The lovers’ grip, of course.
Because even on a trial basis, I was her girlfriend now.
“From now on, I’m going to appeal to you even more than before.”
“…All right.”
“So brace yourself, Senpai. I’m going to make you realise I’m the best girlfriend you could possibly have!”
A chance I’d only gotten by crying and clinging. But a chance was still a chance.
I had no intention of wasting it.
“I’m going to make it so you can’t live without me, Senpai!!”
☆★☆★☆★☆★
“See you tomorrow, Senpai.”
“Yeah. See you, Himena-chan.”
I waved and got off the train. The moment I cleared the gates, I checked my phone, and there was a message from Iori-senpai.
Looking forward to being your girlfriend from now on.
Even knowing it was just a trial, a message like that from Senpai was enough to send me floating.
I stopped walking and gave my own grinning cheeks a light slap.
“…I can’t get this happy over it.”
The relationship right now was, strictly speaking, a trial girlfriend, not a real girlfriend. To become Iori-senpai’s real girlfriend, I needed to put in everything I had.
Which meant there was no time to waste being giddy. If I had time for that, I should be using it to plan my next move instead.
This meant I now had full license to appeal to her as her actual girlfriend.
Trial or not, a girlfriend was a girlfriend.
I’d just been handed official justification to push even harder than before.
And Senpai must have agreed to the trial with exactly that in mind. If I kept doing things the same way as before, she’d never come to think of me as a real girlfriend.
“Right! Let’s do this…!”
Starting tomorrow, I was raising my game and working harder than ever to win her over completely!