Chapter Two: “The Snow Finds the Clod of Earth” — Part Thirteen
“And the problem connects to exactly that — the Chitaira bloodline comes with not just the eyes but a disposition that isn’t quite human. No exceptions there either, I know from personal experience. Myself, and Kai. Kai is absolutely not the kind of child you seem to think she is. That much I’ll warn you of.”
It was probably Chitaira Shiho’s version of genuine candour, and between the lived experience behind it and everything I’d seen in that house, I didn’t think she was lying.
Even so, the way she spoke of Kai as something diminished was not something I could find pleasant.
As if to drive the point home, Shiho added:
“Kai is, in the end, a child born in that house.”
“Shio-nee-san really does understand, doesn’t she.”
A voice behind me made me spin around. Kai, who should have been out of earshot, had drifted back to stand just behind us. Shiho, apparently having expected exactly this, was only smiling.
“I asked you to stay away.”
“Did you think I was the type to follow instructions like that?”
“Never mind type,” I said, cutting off Kai’s unrepentant reasoning. “Stop doing things that are simply rude.”
Kai, who had been wearing her usual air of studied indifference, seemed caught off guard by the unexpected scolding and went still.
“Common sense has nothing to do with what kind of person you are at your core, it’s something anyone can learn. Don’t blame it on your personality. You were just being lazy just now. Once you understand that, go back and reflect on it.”
I ticked it off clearly and issued the instruction, and Kai pursed her lips in reluctant defeat. It was exactly the face of a child being told off.
“…I can’t think of a counter-argument, so fine.”
“I don’t need a counter-argument, just take it in graciously.”
I gave her a gentle push, and Kai trudged back to the same spot as before. Really, where exactly was the candid version of this child, I thought, shooting a look at Shiho. Partly because this woman was sitting there laughing with perfect composure, and there was something about that I found irritating.
“You too,” I said.
“Pardon?”
I asked the slightly tilted head in front of me.
“You knew Kai was being assaulted regularly at home, didn’t you.”
“Yes. I was on the receiving end of group beatings myself, once.”
In that case, I thought, and felt something sharpen, a readiness to bite down.
“You knew, and you left her there. Knowing.”
Ah, so that’s where this is going, Shiho said with a nod of understanding. Not a trace of guilt in the manner, and the disconnect of it, the sheer otherness of whatever this woman was running on, crackled and sparked behind my eyes alongside the anger that burned regardless.
“Even if you weren’t directly involved… I find myself about to get angry at you.”
She was right about herself, it seemed. She was not fully human. Because only a person with an inhuman heart could sit there unmoved with someone’s unconcealed anger directed at them.
“How wonderful.”
Shiho broke into a full, open smile and clapped her hands together.
“What is?”
“You seem like you’d suit a teacher’s podium more than a design office.”
“Excuse me?”
“Amamiya-san, you can forget everything I just said about Kai. For the time being.”
“…I’d rather you didn’t expect me to forget it.”
And then, ignoring my objection entirely, Shiho bowed deeply, just as Kai had done earlier.
“Please take care of Kai.”
“Oh… yes… of course…”
The speed with which she dropped her argument and switched to a gracious bow took all the heat out of me.
I had understood that directing anger about the Chitaira household at this person would accomplish nothing. There was no resistance to push against. She simply had no investment in the house, or in Kai. Understanding that made the whole exercise of asserting feeling toward her pointless.
“Oh, but you have a daughter, which means you’re married?”
She looked up with what seemed like an oddly specific question.
“Yes. One husband, one daughter, one dog.”
“That’s… well, never mind. How lovely to have a dog.”
“Is it?”
“Kai, come here~”
Shiho beckoned to Kai from across the lobby. The way she called her over like a dog made me faintly annoyed. Apparently I had no tolerance for people treating Kai carelessly. Perhaps some of that was the bond formed by having seen her injuries, by having run away from that house together.
“Are you done?”
“Told her to take care of you on my behalf.”
Seeing them side by side, the eye colour was the same, but whatever lived in those eyes was different.
What I sensed in Shiho’s eyes was shallow. Nothing like Kai’s swamp.
…What was it that rose in Kai’s eyes when they looked at me.
“Oh, Shio-nee-san, one more thing.”
“Hm?”
“Help me get a phone contract.”
“Ah, you still don’t have one. I’ll just give you one of mine, use it however you like. Ignore any contact from numbers already in it.”
“You really never change, nee-san.”
Kai turned the phone on, tilted her head at it, and put it in her bag for now.
I should probably show her how to use it later.
“Though coming to me first of all people. Wouldn’t Kara be easier to talk to? She’s basically a thoughtless idiot at heart.”
“I thought about it, but I figured Shio-nee-san would help carelessly as long as the other person wasn’t a high school girl.”
“Ha, fair point.”
“And asking Kara-nee-san for help feels like inviting assault.”
“Sorry?”
Something alarming had entered the conversation without warning and I sat there with my mouth open.
She had mentioned something like that earlier, but hearing the word so plainly was something else.
“Last time it was only attempted, wasn’t it.”
“Just barely.”
“Impressive given the size difference. Or perhaps Kara should be embarrassed. Hard to say.”
What kind of conversation was this, conducted in such a cheerful register. We were sitting at the same table in the same lobby and I very much wanted to pretend I wasn’t there, and looked away.
“Kai, shall I find you a hotel to stay at too? If there’s someone I know there it’ll be easier to arrange.”
Kai looked up at me, consulting me with her eyes. I thought this hotel might do, but it would probably be too far from her school. I nodded, and Kai answered for us both.
“Please.”
“Right then. Amamiya-san, let’s go.”
We left the hotel, pulled along by the brisk, cheerful Shiho.
My daughter’s friend, and that friend’s relative… how I had ended up moving through the day alongside this particular combination of people was a mystery without end. I felt like someone who had swum out into open water while leaving their family on the beach. I had drifted quite far, and the distance back, or forward to anywhere at all, was tiring enough to make my arms and legs want to stop.
Once I’d seen Kai to the hotel… perhaps I could rest a little.
The exhaustion of the day, body and mind both, was pressing for an early end to it.