Episode 9: Have You Sobered Up Yet?

Guided by the location details of the bar sent by Ritsu-san, my body cut through the night breeze at a breathless pace, heading towards Yui-san.

After that, I returned to my seat and immediately apologised to Hayakawa-kun, telling him I had something come up and would be going.

　I felt terribly guilty for having eaten my fill, yet the photo Ritsu-san had sent wouldn’t leave my mind, leaving a gnawing ache deep in my chest.

I’d known from the start she was that sort of person. She had a side I didn’t know. A face she hid from me.

It wasn’t about being homosexual or heterosexual; it was like a wall separating Yui-san and me.

　I didn’t know what had happened to Yui-san after I left home today. She’d offered to pick me up after my shift, so at least by morning, she hadn’t had any plans.

She might have gone out drinking to drown her sorrows, and I could imagine her hitting on a woman in the course of that.

Or perhaps something had happened much earlier, something so awful she’d drunk too much. If she’d told me, I wouldn’t have left the house either.

　The woman she was holding looked delighted.

Seeing that expression, for a moment, just a moment. I thought something I shouldn’t have.

That that was my place, or something.

She’d said she’d hold me when I felt lonely. Yet it dawned on me that for Yui-san, I wasn’t the one she wanted to hold when she felt lonely.

The bar was tucked away in a corner of the drinking district. As only those over twenty were allowed in, I called Ritsu-san from outside the entrance. She answered immediately.

‘Ah, Kanata-chan, have you arrived?’

“Yes, I’m outside the bar.”

‘Right, I’ll come and meet you now. …Right then, Yui, you should head home now.’

Over the phone, amidst the music, I could hear a voice saying something like, “Eh? You’re leaving already?” Was it the girl from earlier?

‘Kanata-chan, I’ll hang up now.’

“…Yes.”

I waited, fidgeting, for the two of them to arrive. Every minute, every second felt incredibly long.

“Yui, come on, walk straight.”

“I am walking straight.”

Yui-san emerged from the bar, practically being carried by Ritsu-san. One glance told me she was dead drunk.

　I had plenty I wanted to say, but I held it back, swallowed it down, and raised my hand lightly.

“Ritsu-san!”

“Ah, Kanata-chan, sorry about this, it’s all this idiot’s fault.”

“Huh? Why are you here, Kanata?”

Only now noticing me, Yui-san stared at me with eyes clouded by alcohol.

“She came to fetch you, you see.”

“That won’t do, Kanata. Did you come alone? Wandering about places like this is dangerous.”

I thought she should be more worried about herself than me, but I kept it to myself. This wasn’t the time to deal with a drunk.

“…Why did you drink until you ended up like this?”

I often saw her drinking while watching films at home, but this was the first time I’d seen her this drunk.

　I always thought Yui-san could hold her liquor rather well. She never seems to change colour.

“Well, I don’t know. I tried to stop her, but she just kept knocking it back…”

Ritsu-san seemed troubled too. Basically, she wanted me to take her home and sort things out.

“Right then,” I nodded, raising my hand towards the road. Luckily, a taxi stopped immediately.

“Ah, Yui, this is from that girl earlier. She asked me to give it to you. She said to get in touch.”

Ritsu shoved a scrap of paper into Yui’s pocket and pushed her into the open door. I followed her into the cab.

“Thanks, Kanata-chan. You’ve saved me. I’ll buy you something next time.”

Through the taxi window, Ritsu flashed a wink and headed back to the bar.

After telling the driver our destination, the car began to glide gently through the night streets.
The shoulder where I’d touched Yui felt hot, as if it were burning.

Even though I wasn’t even twenty yet, I was here at a bar – dangerous, they’d say. Or that I shouldn’t be walking alone through the drinking district. I tuned out the drunken lectures, struggling instead to sort out the emotions smouldering deep within me.

＊＊＊

“Don’t fall over, now.”

“I’m fine, I’m not that drunk.”

Pulling Yui-san’s arm, I somehow managed to get her to the living room and breathed a sigh of relief.

Yui-san was slender, but she was about ten centimetres taller than me. If she really leaned on me, I wasn’t confident I could support her.

“Please sit down. I’ll get you some water.”

I placed the glass on the counter, opened the fridge, and took out a bottle of mineral water.

My priority now was looking after Yui, who was drunk. Honestly, though, my mind was in turmoil.
I couldn’t understand why I felt so utterly helpless.
The image of Yui embracing another woman wouldn’t leave my head.

My chest felt queasy. I felt like lashing out.

Why? Even though I’m closer to her than anyone else right now, I couldn’t accept that when Yui-san was troubled or hurt, she’d seek comfort from another woman.

That’s why I was furious. Furious at my own helplessness – that even at a time like this, I wasn’t chosen, that I was so unreliable.

As I poured water into the glass, lost in these thoughts, suddenly, I was embraced from behind and my body swayed.

　Water spilled from the glass onto the counter.

“…Yui?”

Yui’s arms wrapped around my waist. Her grip was unexpectedly firm, and through our tightly pressed backs, I felt her warmth.

“…Kanata, how was your date today?”

Her voice, softer and sweeter than usual from the alcohol, whispered against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

　Why ask that now? And this position… What was it? That photo came back to me. She’d held that girl just like this.

“…Yui-san, haven’t you had a bit too much to drink? Please let go.”

“It’s fine, come on, tell me.”

Her arms tightened around me. It felt like she was rubbing salt into the raw wounds in my heart.

　How was your date? What on earth do you want to know? You couldn’t care less about me. You don’t give a damn.

Just before heading to meet Yui-san. Hayakawa-kun told me he liked me. He said he didn’t need an answer yet, he just wanted to tell me how he felt.

Hayakawa-kun, who didn’t even give me a chance to refuse, might not have been as nice a person as I thought.

　They say gamesmanship matters in romance, but that sort of thing is difficult for me. Never mind, I don’t really get it. Could someone just put this feeling of mine into simple words for me?

“…It was nice. He confessed. Hayakawa-kun said he likes me. I haven’t replied yet, though.”

I felt Yui-san’s hand tense, twitch.

“Hmm… I see. Are you going to go out with him?”

Her voice sounded slightly muffled, perhaps because she was pressing her forehead firmly against my shoulder.

“…It’s none of your business, Yui-san.”

If that’s how you feel, then I won’t say anything either. You probably just think of me as nothing more than a troublesome junior anyway.

　The moment I spat out that feigned bravado, the arms holding me loosened.

Or so I thought, until she grabbed my shoulders and suddenly slammed my back against the wall with a thud.

It happened so fast I didn’t comprehend what was happening. The instant I looked up at Yui-san, I gasped at the unexpectedly close distance.

She yanked my chin up. Just as I thought, ‘Ah…‘—her perfectly chiselled face was right there.

The soft sensation pressed against my lips. A faint hint of grapefruit flavour.

Everything crammed inside my head exploded in an instant, leaving me blank.

I froze, unable to comprehend what had happened. It must have been only a few seconds, but the scent of another woman mingling with Yui-san’s perfume dragged me back to reality. It grated on my nerves.

　The thoughts I’d thought scattered returned in a rush, and I shoved Yui-san hard in the shoulder.

Seeing her fall backwards onto her backside, I let my emotions take over and, before I knew it, had poured a glass of water over her head.

“…You… you…”

She pushed back her wet fringe, furrowed her brow slightly, looking annoyed, and gazed up at me listlessly. I glared back. So Yui-san can make expressions like this too.

“…Are you sober now?”

Wiping my lips with the back of my hand, tears inexplicably welled up.

“You’re the worst…”

As a tear spilled over and fell, Yui-san’s eyes widened in alarm for a moment.

I realised instantly: this person has never had the experience of kissing someone who rejected them.

　It was infuriating, truly unforgivable.

“…S-sorry.”

I brushed past Yui-san, who tried to stop me, and barricaded myself in my room. Click. After locking the door, Yui-san said something from the other side, but I ignored it all and crawled under the covers.

I’d made up my mind. Today, absolutely, this door wouldn’t open.