Episode Nine: Have You Sobered Up Yet?
Relying on the location Ritsu-san had sent me, I cut through the night air, my body moving fast enough to leave me breathless, heading straight for Yui-san.
After that, I’d gone right back to the table, apologized to Hayakawa-kun, and told him something had come up and I had to go.
Guilty about eating and running, but the photo Ritsu-san had sent wouldn’t leave my head, and something rough and unpleasant sat lodged in my chest, impossible to shake.
I’d known from the start she was this kind of person. There’s a side to her I don’t know. A face she keeps hidden from me.
It had nothing to do with her being gay or straight — it was more like some kind of wall standing between me and Yui-san.
I don’t know what happened to Yui-san after I left the house today. She’d offered to come pick me up after my shift, so at least that morning, she can’t have had plans yet.
Maybe she’d gone out drinking to blow off steam, and things had drifted from there into flirting with some woman, I could imagine that much.
Or maybe something had happened even earlier, something bad enough to drink that much over. If she’d just told me, I wouldn’t have left the house at all.
The woman she’d been holding had been smiling, happy.
Seeing that expression, for one moment, just the briefest moment, I thought something I shouldn’t have.
That’s my spot.
She’d told me she’d hold me when I felt lonely. Seeing this, I felt like I finally understood — when Yui-san felt lonely, it wasn’t me she wanted holding her.
*
The bar sat in a corner of the drinking district. Since you had to be twenty to get in, I called Ritsu-san from outside the entrance. She picked up right away.
“Oh, Kanata-chan, you here?”
“Yes, I’m outside.”
“Okay, bringing her out now. …C’mon, Yui, time to go home.”
Through the phone, mixed in with the music, I could hear a voice — something like eh, you’re leaving already? Probably that girl from before.
“Kanata-chan, hanging up for a sec.”
“…Okay.”
I waited, restless, for the two of them to appear. Every second felt impossibly long.
“Yui, come on, walk straight.”
“I am walking straight~”
Yui-san came out of the bar half-carried by Ritsu-san. One look told me she was completely wasted.
There was plenty I wanted to say, but I swallowed it all down and gave a small wave instead.
“Ritsu-san!”
“Ahh, Kanata-chan, sorry, this idiot’s fault.”
“Huh, why’s Kanata here?”
Only just noticing, Yui-san turned bleary, alcohol-glazed eyes on me.
“She came to pick you up, you know.”
“No good, Kanata, you came alone? It’s dangerous wandering around a place like this.”
I’m more worried about you than the other way around, I thought, but swallowed that too. Not the moment to be arguing with a drunk.
“…Why did you drink this much?”
I’d often seen her drinking while watching movies at home, but this was the first time I’d seen her this drunk.
I’d always thought Yui-san held her liquor pretty well. Her expression never so much as shifted.
“Dunno. Tried to stop her but she just kept going…”
Ritsu-san looked worn out too. Basically asking me to just take her off her hands and deal with it.
I nodded — got it — and raised a hand toward the road. Luckily, a taxi pulled over right away.
“Oh, Yui, this is from that girl earlier. Asked me to give it to you. Said to text her.”
Ritsu-san shoved a scrap of paper into Yui-san’s pocket and pushed her through the open door. I climbed in right after.
“Thanks, Kanata-chan. Really saved me there. I’ll treat you to something next time.”
Ritsu-san gave a sharp wink through the taxi window and headed back into the bar.
I told the driver where to go, and the car eased into motion through the night streets.
Where Yui-san’s shoulder pressed against mine, it felt hot, almost burning.
Coming to a bar when you’re not even twenty is dangerous, you shouldn’t walk through the drinking district alone — I let her drunken lecturing wash over me while I struggled, with everything I had, to sort out the feeling smoldering somewhere deep inside.
＊＊＊
“Please don’t fall.”
“I’m fine~, not even that drunk.”
I managed to drag Yui-san by the arm all the way to the living room, and let out a breath of relief.
Yui-san is slight, but she’s about ten centimeters taller than me, so if she really leaned her full weight on me, I wasn’t confident I could hold her up.
“Sit down, I’ll get you some water.”
I set a glass on the counter, opened the fridge, and pulled out mineral water.
The priority right now is taking care of a drunk Yui-san. Honestly, my head was a mess inside, but still.
I don’t understand why I feel this frustrated, this helpless.
The photo of Yui-san holding another woman won’t leave my head.
Something churns, ugly, deep in my chest. Makes me want to lash out at something.
Why? Right now I’m closer to her than anyone else, and yet I can’t accept that when something upsets or hurts Yui-san, it’s some other woman who gets to comfort her.
That’s why I’m angry. At my own uselessness — not being chosen even now, apparently not reliable enough.
While I was pouring water into the glass, turning that over in my head, someone suddenly wrapped their arms around me from behind, and my whole body swayed.
Water spilled from the glass across the counter.
“…Yui-san?”
Yui-san’s hand circled my stomach. Stronger than I expected, and I could feel the warmth of her through where our backs pressed flush together.
“…So, Kanata, how was your date today?”
Whispered in a voice softer and sweeter than usual, thanks to the alcohol, and a shiver ran down my spine.
Why is she asking that, now, of all times. And what is this position. That photo came flooding back. This was exactly how she’d been holding that girl.
“…Yui-san, aren’t you a little too drunk right now? Let go.”
“C’mon, it’s fine, tell me.”
Her arms tightened. It felt like she was rubbing salt straight into some raw, frayed place inside me.
How was my date? What was even the point of asking that. She has zero interest in me. Doesn’t care either way.
Just a little before I’d headed to Yui-san. Hayakawa-kun had told me he liked me. Said he didn’t need an answer yet, he just wanted to say it.
A man who wouldn’t even give me the chance to turn him down properly — maybe he wasn’t quite as good a person as I’d thought.
They say romance is all about strategy, but that kind of thing is beyond me. Whatever, forget it, I don’t get any of it. Could someone please just put this feeling of mine into simple words for me.
“…It was fun. He confessed to me. Hayakawa-kun said he likes me. Haven’t given him an answer yet, though.”
I felt Yui-san’s hand tense, just slightly.
“Hmm… I see. Gonna date him?”
Yui-san pressed her forehead into my shoulder, rubbing slightly, and her voice came out a little muffled because of it.
“…That’s none of your business, Yui-san.”
If that’s how you’re going to be, then I won’t say anything either. You probably just think of me as some annoying underclassman anyway.
The instant I spat out that last bit of forced bravado, the arms around me let go.
And then, before I could register it, my shoulder was seized, and I was shoved back hard against the wall.
It happened so fast I had no idea what was going on, and the moment I looked up at Yui-san, I caught my breath at how much closer she was than I’d expected.
My chin was tilted up, and just as I thought ah — Yui-san’s face, so perfectly composed, was right there.
Something soft pressed against my lips. A faint hint of grapefruit.
Everything crammed inside my head burst apart at once, and went white.
I couldn’t process what had happened, frozen in place. It was probably only a few seconds, but the scent of some other woman, mixed into Yui-san’s perfume, dragged me straight back to reality. Scraped against every nerve.
The thoughts that had scattered came rushing back all at once, and I shoved Yui-san’s shoulder as hard as I could.
Before I even knew what I was doing, I’d dumped the glass of water over her head as she landed on the floor.
“…C-cold…”
She pushed her wet bangs back, looking up at me with a faintly irritated, weary expression, and I glared down at her. So she makes that face too.
“…Have you sobered up yet?”
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, tears welled up unexpectedly.
“…You’re the worst.”
The moment the tears spilled over, Yui-san’s eyes went wide, flustered.
I understood right away — this person has never once kissed someone who didn’t want it.
Infuriating. It made me furious, and I couldn’t forgive that part of her, not really.
“…S-sorry.”
I pushed past Yui-san as she tried to stop me and shut myself in my room. After locking the door with a sharp click, Yui-san said something from the other side, but I ignored all of it and burrowed into bed.
I’ve decided. This door is absolutely not opening today.