Episode 33: I’ll Give It to Kanata

“Kanata, are you ready?”

“Just a moment. Sorry.”

I replied to Yui-san’s voice from the living room and switched off the curling iron.
After lightly smoothing the loosely curled ends, I checked my reflection in the mirror. Just a touch of lip colour and I’d be perfect.

　Today is Christmas Eve. The weather forecast said snow would fall from the evening. My heart leapt at the thought of a white Christmas, and I ended up putting more effort into my appearance than usual.

It’s been a while since my date with Yui-san, so I wanted her to think I looked even a little bit cute.

I could come up with plenty of excuses for why getting ready took longer than expected. But I didn’t have the courage to tell Yui-san any of them.

Hurrying into the living room, Yui-san turned to look at me and smiled brightly.

“You’re always lovely, but today you’re especially lovely.”

Yui-san hugged me tight, saying how adorable I was. She herself was as beautiful as ever, making my heart race. Tall and well-proportioned, she looked stunning in anything, which I envied.

Whether it was the day I cut my hair, dyed it, or bought new clothes, she always told me I looked lovely.

　I’ve never told her, but it makes me incredibly happy that she always notices my little changes.

“Oh, Yui-san, let go of me. I’m putting on lipstick, so this has to stop.”

“Then let me kiss you before you do.”

Before I could even say yes or no, she gently lifted my chin and gave me a kiss that barely touched my lips. Honestly, I’ve grown completely accustomed to these surprise kisses.

“…Yui-san, you’ll get lipstick on me.”

“Sorry, sorry. But you’re just so cute.”

When she gently wipes my lips, a tingling sensation spreads deep within my chest.

Her deep, dark eyes gaze at me with such tenderness. Just being looked at by those eyes makes me feel like she’s peering right into the depths of my soul.

　You don’t need to be so gentle. I want you to hold me so tightly I can’t breathe, to tell me you love me. “Cute” just isn’t enough anymore.

I desperately hold back those selfish words, trying not to let them spill from my lips.

Ever since that day I admitted my feelings, my love has overflowed uncontrollably. They say love makes you blind to everything else around you, and it’s true.

　Today, I’m feeling uncharacteristically giddy. Because Yui-san chose to spend this day with me, and no one else.

For now, that’s enough. As long as Yui-san doesn’t look away, I can wait forever until the day she speaks of, “someday”.

＊＊＊

I rather like the festive atmosphere of the town at Christmas. Happy people walk hand in hand, laughing together.
Everywhere is decorated in red and green on this day; it must be a very special day for everyone passing by.

Of course, it’s a special day for me too.

“Where are we going today?”

“First, here.”

Yui-san took two tickets out of her coat pocket. A constellation design against a deep navy background.

“The planetarium? I haven’t been since primary school.”

“Since we’re here, I thought a clichéd date spot might be nice. What do you reckon?”

I nodded vigorously, and Yui-san smiled. “Right then, let’s go,” she said, taking my hand. I clasped hers tightly, but that hand was soon drawn back into her pocket.

　I’d deliberately left my gloves behind. I knew it would be cold enough for my breath to show, but I knew Yui-san would take my hand like this.

We walked through the dimly lit planetarium, searching for our seats. It seemed packed, probably because it was Christmas. Yui-san had reserved a sofa pair seat. Amidst the pre-show buzz, we pressed our shoulders together. I leaned close to her ear and whispered.

“Yui, do you know much about constellations?”

“Not at all. Only Orion, really. You can’t see many stars from Tokyo, can you?”

“Have you ever lived anywhere else?”

“No. What about you, Kanata?”

“I have. My dad was a transfer employee. Tokyo’s where I’ve lived longest, but I’ve been to most of Japan’s major cities.”

My father was transferred roughly every two or three years, so our home changed constantly. Repeatedly transferring schools each time was quite tough, so it wasn’t until I got to university that I finally felt like I’d put down roots.

That said, staying at Yui-san’s place is only until I graduate, as agreed.

“But I never really looked up at the night sky much, so I don’t remember what the stars were like.”

“Well then, let’s go somewhere together someday where the stars are beautiful.”

“Like where, for example?”

Somewhere with beautiful stars. The countryside, or a remote island, perhaps. Nothing immediately springs to mind.

“Hmm, let’s see. The Maldives, maybe?”

The unexpected name of the country caught me off guard. Not within Japan. The scale was far grander than I’d imagined, and I was taken aback.

“The Maldives? Well, it is surrounded by sea, so the stars would probably be lovely…”

It’s the sort of place you go for a holiday or honeymoon; the travel costs aren’t cheap enough for a casual trip. It’s definitely not a country a student could easily afford to visit.

“Let’s go together someday. To do that, I need to start studying the constellations now.”

　Saying that, she smiled and turned back towards the ceiling. Gradually, the lights dimmed, casting the room in shadow. She squeezed my hand tightly, and I squeezed hers back.

The star-filled sky projected before us took my breath away. Could such a beautiful starry sky really exist in reality? If it did, I wanted to go there.

Someday, with Yui.

After the planetarium show, we had lunch at a café, still basking in the afterglow of the starry sky, then hopped on the train for a few more stops to go buy a present.

I hardly ever come to Ginza, so I have no idea where any shops are or what they’re like, but Yui-san moves along smoothly, as if she has a map in her head.

“Which shop are we going to?”

“You’ll see when we get there. Just a little further.”

She’d said she’d buy me a necklace, but was this her regular shop?

I squeezed her hand tightly, and Yui looked at me and smiled gently.

Ah, it finally dawned on me – right now, I had Yui all to myself.

“We’re here.”

She stopped, and I looked up at the imposing building of the high-end jewellery shop. I almost forgot to breathe.

“What’s wrong? Let’s go in.”

Her tug on my hand snapped me back to reality. I hurriedly pulled her hand back, stopping her.

“Stop, stop! Yui-san, your choice of shop is wrong! This place is in a completely different league!”

　Buying a necklace here wouldn’t cost mere tens of thousands of yen.

“You really needn’t be so modest.”

“Are you serious…? If you gave me something that expensive, I could never repay you, Yui-san.”

“Don’t worry about it. I just thought it might be nice to have matching ones.”

“…That necklace, is it one you bought here?”

“Yes, it is.”

She said it so casually, but jewellery like this from a high-end boutique is completely out of my league. It’s probably the kind of thing I could afford once in a lifetime, if that.

I did say the necklace was lovely. The diamonds sparkled beautifully and suited Yui-san perfectly. But…

“…Could we perhaps look at something a little more… heart-friendly in price?”

　I squeezed her hand tightly as I said this, and Yui peered up at my face.

“Why? I want matching ones. Is that really impossible?”

Why was the person trying to buy it for me the one making the request? Normally it would be the other way round.

I shook my head vigorously from side to side. This was something I simply couldn’t overlook. It was far too expensive, no matter how you looked at it.

“Hmm… Well then… would you accept it if it was second-hand?”

“Second-hand?”

Just as I wondered what she meant, Yui reached behind her own neck and removed the necklace.

She gently placed her hand around my dazed neck and fastened the clasp.

“It’s for you, Kanata.”

She placed her hand lightly on my chest and smiled.

“Ugh… I can’t accept it. It’s something precious to you, isn’t it?”

　I’d never seen Yui wearing anything other than this necklace.

She said she bought it herself, but surely it must hold some sentimental value for her.

“Take it. In return, wear it always.”

Was it really alright for her to let it go so easily? I looked up, feeling uneasy, but Yui just beamed contentedly, giving me no clue what she was thinking.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am.”

With her stating it so firmly, refusing might be rude.

Besides… she was giving me something she treasured. I couldn’t suppress the simple joy I felt.

“All right… Thank you. I’ll treasure it.”

I placed my hand over my chest. The glow that always rested on Yui-san’s white chest was now here, on mine. It felt strange.

“Right. Then let’s go buy another present. Next time, within a budget that won’t break the bank, I’ll buy you anything you like, Kanata.”

Yui smiled brightly, took my hand, and started walking again.

Eh? She’s buying me more things? I’m happy, but… it makes me a little worried.

“…Yui, do you perhaps have a habit of lavishing gifts on people?”

When I asked suspiciously, Yui laughed.

“You’ve only just realised? It’s just for you, though.”

“…I was worried you might say you do that for other girls too…”

“Nah. My part-time wages aren’t infinite, you know.”

“Eh? Part-time wages? You have a part-time job, Yui-san?”

“I help out with the family business. Miscellaneous tasks like compiling data or preparing documents. No time constraints, so it’s easy. It’s more like pocket money in return.”

I see. So that’s why Yui-san was occasionally called to the company by her father.

I’d always assumed she was studying when she occasionally used the computer.

“…But you told me I should spend my part-time wages on myself.”

“Spending money on Kanata is the same as spending it on me.”

“What on earth does that mean?”

“I just want to see Kanata’s happy face. That’s all.”

My chest, where the necklace rested, felt warm. I understood that feeling — I wanted to see Yui-san’s happy face too.

I squeezed the hand I’d clasped to hide my embarrassment. Would we spend Christmas together next year? I hoped we would.

“…Ah, snow.”

　As forecast, pure white snow began falling from the sky, stirring the town into a flurry of activity.

I found myself captivated by Yui-san’s profile as she gazed up at the sky.

I knew she belonged to no one when I fell for her. Yet my chest still tightened painfully.

So close, yet so far.

Yui-san says she wants to see my happy face, but that’s easy enough.

　Everything she does for me, thinking of me, always makes me smile.

If only you would look at me alone, I wouldn’t need anything else.

The Christmas present I begged Yui for, as something “gentle on the wallet”, was a perfectly round seal soft toy. Yui laughed, saying it made the house feel like an aquarium.

　Rocked by the train, I made my way home. Occasionally, Yui-san would gaze at my chest with gentle eyes, and each time, a warmth spread deep within my chest.

What feelings prompted her to give it to me?

I want to know. But knowing Yui-san, I’m sure she wouldn’t tell me even if I asked.

I couldn’t help but wish that even a fragment of that feeling could be conveyed as easily as the warmth flowing through our joined hands.