Episode 35: Won’t You Come in With Me? ※
Click.
I passed through the auto-lock and opened the apartment door, and a gentle aroma drifted past my nose.
Yuno turned from the kitchen, looking puzzled.
“Welcome home. Eh? You’re early today.”
I checked the clock. Six in the evening.
I’d been working overtime so often lately that yes, this was unusually early.
— Of course I want to. So — once we’re home… slowly.
The words I’d let slip in the president’s office that morning crossed my mind.
No. It’s not because I want to do that kind of thing with Yuno. Absolutely not. I just happened to finish work early today, that’s all.
But my feet had carried me here regardless.
Yuno kept busily preparing dinner. Her small steps carrying her back and forth around the wide kitchen — unbearably dear, unbearably cute.
Before I knew it, I’d wrapped my arms around her from behind. My hands settling tight around her waist.
“Ahah, rare. What’s gotten into you?”
“Mm. Nothing in particular.”
“Your voice sounds tired. Go rest.”
Instead of answering, I rested my chin on Yuno’s shoulder and let my lips trail along her neck.
“Hehe, that tickles.”
She laughed, soft, her back trembling slightly.
Her white skin was so beautiful, and her profile, seen at this angle from slightly behind, was beautiful too. Long lashes, lifted cheeks. Ears just faintly red.
All of it dear to me — I don’t want to hand any of it over to anyone. I thought it, plainly.
Absolutely not. I don’t want anyone else touching it.
A black, heavy feeling seeped, slow, through my entire body.
Before I knew it, I’d pressed my lips to her neck and left a mark there.
Yesterday’s mark was still there, painfully red. Over it, I layered another, reddish-purple.
Even I think this is unhinged. And still, I couldn’t stop.
“Nn…!”
A small sound slipped out, and Yuno’s hand, mid-chop on the vegetables, stilled completely.
“…Did that hurt?”
“No, it… felt kind of good, actually.”
What is that.
Yuno said only that, perfectly composed, and went back to stirring the pot. Her ears stayed red the whole time.
“Mm, done.”
She said it, scooping a bit of sauce off the wooden spatula with her index finger, and held it out to me with a little flourish.
“Hey, Reina. Taste this?”
“Eh?”
“Come on, here.”
Turning to face me, Yuno’s eyes sparkled, looking straight at me.
I could see my own face reflected in those brown eyes.
White, slender finger, red sauce.
I looked at the finger, then at Yuno’s face.
She kept looking straight at me, unmoving. The corner of her mouth lifted, just slightly.
As if drawn by it, I took her finger into my mouth, slowly. Licking the sauce off with the tip of my tongue, pushing her finger gently back out. Even after I let go, Yuno kept smiling, faintly.
“…Mm, it’s good.”
Honestly, I had no idea what the sauce even tasted like. None of that mattered anymore.
Yuno said “good,” scooped up sauce again with the spatula — with the same finger I’d just had in my mouth — and, with a perfectly innocent expression, popped it into her own mouth.
Ah…
Heat gathered in my face, on its own.
“Hm? What’s wrong?”
Yuno tilted her head, puzzled.
That gesture, too, was so innocent, so cute, and it made my own strange, impure thoughts feel embarrassing by comparison.
“…Nothing.”
My whole body felt hot, and I pulled away on reflex.
We’d already kissed, already had each other, more times than I could count.
And still, thinking that was an indirect kiss like some middle schooler made my heart race. My face still went hot.
I’m not getting used to this. No matter how much we touch, I never get used to it. If anything, my chest pounds harder, more painfully, day after day.
— This is bad. I think that. And still, my eyes are chasing after Yuno again.
Yuno, for her part, seemed entirely unbothered, turning back to the pot, humming to herself.
Does she genuinely not notice? Or does she notice, and simply pretend not to?
Either way, it’s a vicious habit.
Being around Yuno really does throw off my whole rhythm.
These ordinary, unremarkable moments are unbearably dear to me.
— Which is exactly why losing them is becoming more and more frightening.
＊＊＊
After dinner, I ran the bath.
“Go on in first,” I said.
Yuno tilted her head slightly at that.
Then took my hand, firm.
“Won’t you come in with me?”
“Eh…”
That innocent voice made my chest pound, almost painfully.
While I was still faltering, Yuno had already taken my hand and was pulling me along. No chance to resist — I was led straight into the bathroom.
“Look — bubble bath.”
Already undressed, Yuno poured the bath foam into the tub and splashed around in the sea of bubbles, delighted, artless.
Through the gaps in the white foam, her body flickered into view. Translucent white skin. Soft, rounded curves. Legs that looked like they might snap, and yet whose lines were nothing but smooth, glossy curves.
And then — visible and hidden between the bubbles — the soft swell of her chest, and its pale pink tip.
My gaze was drawn there, helplessly. Something deep inside me throbbed, slow.
Eyes lowered, I was washing myself when —
A puff of foam blew across my face.
“Hey. That gets in your eyes, stop it.”
“Ahaha, sorry, sorry.”
I opened my closed eyes a crack, and Yuno was laughing, bright and unrestrained. Caught by that laugh, I found myself laughing too.
“You know, Reina, you’re cute when you laugh. Your eyes go gentle.”
“…What, out of nowhere?”
“I like it. Your laughing face.”
It caught me off guard. Saying something like that so lightly, with that innocent face. I went flustered, my cheeks hot.
That “like” probably doesn’t mean much. And still, my chest ached regardless.
I finished washing and slid into the tub. The bubbles swayed, gentle.
With both of us in, the tub filled exactly to the brim. Me behind, Yuno in front.
We stayed quiet for a while, sitting in the steam.
Then Yuno turned to look at me.
“Waiting for a kiss?”
“Not particularly. Not waiting.”
“I see. Guess I’ll skip it, then.”
She stuck her tongue out, playful, and turned back around.
“What is that… mean.”
I hadn’t meant to say it. It had just come out.
Yuno turned back toward me again — and smiled, soft. Then gently lifted my chin, and kissed me.
Full, wet, pink lips closed the distance slowly, and met mine. Soon her tongue slipped in, deeper, deeper still.
In the bathroom, only the sound of our voices and the water echoed, unreasonably erotic.
Happiness, and a pitch-black anxiety and possessiveness, churned together in my chest, dissolving into some complicated colour.
While our lips stayed joined, Yuno’s hand drifted, gently, toward my chest.
Over the bubbles, slow, slow, she kneaded.
“Nn, ahh… fh…”
Every time her palm grazed the tip, a sound slipped through the gap in our joined lips. A sweet voice that didn’t feel like my own.
I love kissing Yuno.
I love Yuno. Hopelessly so.
— Ah, this is no good anymore.
I never meant to fall this much. Never meant for my feelings to go this far out of control.
Not lovers, not simply housemates either. Inside this ambiguous distance, the feeling alone keeps quietly growing larger, all by itself. Painfully, unbearably so.
And still, unable to put it into words, I keep papering over something, through touch like this, again and again.
All kinds of feelings spinning together in a whirl, until even I couldn’t tell them apart anymore.