Dear Us, On That Day

Dear me, who had given up on living.

I imagine you’re having a very hard time right now.

The ordinary life you had has been taken away, and you have nowhere to belong — not at home, not at school. It hurts, doesn’t it. I know. Because I was you.

But it’s going to be all right. Just hold on a little longer. Very soon now, you’re going to meet the person fate meant to save you. So please — don’t stop drawing.

Once you’ve found her, you’ll be okay. It takes an awfully, awfully long time before you can be together — but even that is all right. Just wait, at a walking pace, and your time will come.

Until that day, try little by little to do the things she’ll teach you. If you do, happiness will find you. I promise it will.

It really is happiness. The person I’ve admired and loved for so long loves me back. She tells me she wants to be with me always.

So the pain is only for now.

Now, I get to spend every day happily with the person I love. We have arguments sometimes, but we make up quickly. And the night after making up — it makes you happier than you can imagine.

Don’t die. The person fate sent found you, and you were ready to die, and she saved you — and when that same person was about to break, you were the one who saved her in return.

Miracles stack on top of each other, and happiness is what you find on the other side.

A happy, joyful future is waiting for you. So please — don’t give up.

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Dear me, who had lost all colour.

What are you thinking, right now?

The me I was back then — I think I was happy every single day, without question. I thought that dream would never end. I’d never wake from it. You felt that way too, didn’t you.

But the dream ended, and it ended quickly. You can’t forgive it. I understand.

What did I do after that? I’m sorry — I don’t remember much.

Cried for a while, I think. And when the tears dried, a great deal of other things had left with them.

I lost all colour. I stopped letting myself fall asleep. It must have been so painful.

Everyone around me was glittering, and seeing it made me sick.

So I refused to look. I ran. I killed the part of myself that felt.

It’s all right. The suffering you’re living through right now — I think it isn’t wrong. Other people might say it is. Let them say whatever they like. I myself say it isn’t, and that’s what matters.

But listen. Someone is coming who will take that colourless version of you and lead you back into a bright world. Dazzling, almost too bright to look at. In every way, your opposite.

It turns out you met her once, in middle school. A quiet girl who was good at drawing.

She was planning to die that day, apparently — but without knowing it, you saved her. From where you stand right now, it probably wasn’t so long ago.

When you meet her again as an adult, she’ll have become so beautiful, and so hard-working, and so loved by everyone around her.

And she will love you more than anyone.

You won’t believe it, I know. But it’s true.

She has a side that’s a little bit… much. But she cares for you deeply, all of it included — I think. Sometimes she takes it too far and I’m not sure what to think, but.

So for now, just endure. As long as you don’t give up on living, you’ll be all right.

Even you — who was only not dying without actually living — can change. And quickly.

Right now, I’m… happy. Every day. Every moment.

Just having the person I love say she loves me, just seeing her smile at me — my chest fills with warmth. The feeling of wanting to stay with her forever only grows stronger.

So it’ll be all right.

Miracles stack on top of each other, and happiness is what you find on the other side.

A happy, joyful future is waiting for you. So please — don’t give up.