Episode 11
“That kind of thing — no more of it.”
I put my foot down while bringing a forkful of cooled pancake to my mouth. Annoying as it is to admit, it’s delicious even cold.
“But I said I’d stop if you said stop.”
You heard me, didn’t you? Her voice bounces with amusement. I can’t find a good counter-argument.
“Anyway! Going forward we are going to get along wholesomely! Repeat after me!”
Seriha stuffs her cheeks full of pancake with a this is such a hassle and carries on enjoying herself.
Why I hadn’t stopped her — thinking about it now with a cool head, I still didn’t know. I’d been startled, but I hadn’t been afraid. It stung a little, but it hadn’t felt wrong.
The small sound that had escaped me close to her ear came back to me.
“N-next time I’ll be angry! I won’t talk to you anymore!”
If any more of that continued, I had a feeling something inside me would start to come undone. Even now, the mark she’d left on my neck was bothering me — I couldn’t settle.
“Aww. You had such a wonderful expression.”
“Well, suit yourself. I’ll never do anything by force, absolutely.”
That smug look on her face. Should I just hit her once?
More importantly though — she shifts the subject. It is very much not more importantly, but fine.
“You’re still going to do the celebration, right?”
The celebration…
The plan originally had been to give her my answer at what I was calling a celebration dinner. That day would have been the day her dream ended.
As it turned out, today Seriha woke from the dream called going out with Takemi Hiito. But she had already boarded the next one: spending time happily with Takemi Hiito.
“Sure — let’s do it.”
The words came out smoothly, without effort. When I’d first suggested the celebration to her that day, it had felt like such a weight. Strange.
“Yay! You haven’t picked a place yet, right?”
“No. Everything’s been such a rush, I haven’t thought about it at all. Should we decide now?”
“Let me pick! Choosing the venue is a junior’s job.”
Since we’re together anyway, deciding now seemed perfectly sensible — but she might have something specific in mind. And honestly, given how little I know about izakayas and fashionable restaurants, this was a welcome offer.
“Are you sure? Thank you — I’m not very up on places, so it’s a help.”
“Don’t worry about it! I’ll find you somewhere good, so look forward to it!”
“We’ll just bill it to Hayama-san and Usui-san. We worked hard, so please put it on expenses~!”
I found myself doing Hayama-san’s voice. I never used to do things like that. Maybe some part of me has loosened.
“Then — I’ll get in touch once I’ve found a place.”
At that, she made a sound like she’d just realised something.
“I don’t have your contact details…”
Oh — right.
I’d had so few opportunities to be in touch with anyone outside of work that it had been a very long time since I’d exchanged contacts with someone.
“Let’s swap.”
I smiled wryly and took out my phone.
All of it had happened in just a few hours.
Simply by facing her — whatever I’d been carrying for years had begun, just slightly, to come apart at the seams.
In the middle of the night she’d come to rescue me. Let me stay at her place. Made me delicious pancakes to share.
We’d both said things we hadn’t planned to say. And — she’d, um, touched me, and done certain… things.
Several years ago. Kicked out of a wonderful, wonderful dream, I chose to stand alone and watch other people drift off contentedly, pleasantly to sleep.
Having been too afraid of pain to sleep — I find myself drifting off alongside a girl who cradles her phone with the messaging app open, as though it were something precious.
Riding on to the next dream is absurd. But maybe it’s all right to be absurd. Probably. I’m sure of it.