Episode 19: Out in the World She’s the Perfect Older Woman, But Only in Front of Me She’s Adorable — and It Makes Me Shiver ※
After getting home, Yuno and I sat facing each other over dinner.
Steam rising from the miso soup, the click of chopsticks, the low murmur of the TV. An ordinary table, and yet tonight something about it wouldn’t settle.
Yuno took a sip of tea and spoke up, lightly.
“Hey, were you surprised today?”
Looking up at me from under her lashes, a faintly smug edge to her face.
“Surprised isn’t the word… just don’t do that kind of thing.”
“That kind of thing?”
Yuno tilted her head.
“…That — talking right in my ear, sticking to me like that out of nowhere. I was at work.”
Just remembering it, heat gathered slowly across my face. Saying it out loud only made it worse.
“Is it not allowed?”
She asked it with such innocence. Whether she genuinely didn’t understand, or understood perfectly and was doing it anyway — I honestly couldn’t read her intent.
“Idiot. Of course it’s not allowed. If someone from the company had seen——”
Yuno said “I see” with a soft laugh and didn’t press further. But that laugh had something sly in it, something playful and oddly unhurried, and it irritated me.
＊＊＊
Eight in the evening.
I finished clearing the dishes and leaned back against the sofa. A sip of after-dinner coffee, warmth spreading slowly through.
Then, beside me, a soft weight settled.
Yuno, cradling her mug in both hands, sat down next to me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Close enough that our shoulders touched.
“Hey, there’s space over there. Move over a bit.”
“Hm? Am I close? Maybe a little.”
She said it without moving an inch. Not the slightest hint of remorse. A faint sweet scent drifted over — shampoo, or maybe just Yuno herself.
I shifted slightly away.
Yuno sipped her hot milk, watching some variety show, laughing brightly at it.
When she laughed out loud her eyes narrowed, her already-soft drooping eyes going softer still. That unguarded profile struck me, against my better judgment, as lovely, and I looked away and drank my coffee instead.
Before long the distance between us had closed again. By the time I noticed, our bodies were pressed together.
And then, softly.
A weight against my shoulder.
Yuno had tipped her head to rest against it. Her smooth hair brushing my shoulder. Then, gently, her hand settled over mine.
Thin, warm fingers. My heart gave one loud, sudden beat.
I pretended to watch the TV. None of it registered.
I could feel a gaze from the direction of my shoulder.
I glanced over, and those large eyes were looking steadily up at me.
“What.”
“Hey, about earlier.”
“Earlier, what.”
“Does that mean it’s fine as long as we’re at home?”
I turned to face her without meaning to.
“Huh? No — that’s not — that’s not the point. That kind of thing is…”
Before I could finish, Yuno’s hands came to rest gently on both my shoulders, and pressed me slowly down into the sofa.
— Eh.
Yuno straddled me, looking down. The ceiling light behind her threw her face into shadow.
“…But it’s not because I don’t want to be thrown away, you know? Wanting to kiss someone myself, wanting to touch them — you’re the first time that’s happened. Ever.”
“…Eh?”
“Does it really bother you that much, big sis?”
Yuno pressed on, her expression touched with something plaintive.
It stirred something unbearably protective in me.
I started to answer and stopped.
Did it bother me? Did it?
I couldn’t answer my own question.
Her drooping eyes had gone soft and glazed, glistening. Yuno’s face drew quietly closer.
“…Just a minute…”
“Hey… if I say it out loud…”
“What?”
“Would it make sense, this feeling of liking someone? …What do you think?”
Low, soft, a sweet and muffled voice.
Murmuring that, Yuno brought her full, soft lips close to my ear.
“…I like you.”
A sweet breath flowed directly into my ear, and a shiver ran down my back.
“I like you.”
This time her lips touched the inside of my ear directly. At that soft sensation, a sound slipped out of me before I could stop it.
“Big sis, I like you, I like you… I like you.”
A voice mixed with breath, coaxing, something plaintive underneath it. It rang directly into my brain.
“Nn… haa… wait… stop——”
Even as I said it, the heat in my body was honest, climbing steadily.
Honestly, if she kept whispering in that sweet, adorable voice, I felt like my mind would come apart.
The more Yuno’s whispering grew heated, the more I tried to resist, the louder my own voice became. My face burned, my vision blurred, I could barely breathe properly.
After repeating “I like you” again and again, Yuno slowly drew back to look at my face. Her large, faintly drooping eyes narrowed into a smile.
That expression was — unmistakably — a bewitching smile.
“Ahah, cute. Your eyes are all glassy.”
“…Don’t look.”
Embarrassed, I tried to turn my face away, but Yuno pressed her thumb lightly against my lips, not allowing it. Then, in a small voice, dropped quietly:
“Out in the world she’s the perfect older woman, but only in front of me she’s adorable——”
She brought her face closer, smiling, pleased with herself.
At this distance, the depths of her eyes were like a black hole — deep, and without light.
And then, close enough that I could feel her breath, in a high, sweet voice, she finished it:
“…and it makes me shiver.”
Then her lips met mine, drawing me in.
Almost immediately it deepened into something where our tongues wound together, slow and sultry.
Before long Yuno’s lips slid downward, to my neck.
Juuh. Juruh. Juuh.
A wet, vivid sound filled the quiet room.
Yuno pressed soft kisses into my neck, leaving marks there with deliberate intent. The sensation of her lips and tongue against my throat ran through my whole body in a shiver.
“Ahn… Yuno… stop…”
“Ahah, cute.”
“Be quiet… nn…”
“Hey, you can’t let anyone else hear a voice this cute, you know?”
She kept going as she said it, adding more marks.
The heat spreading from my neck made my whole body ache. Underneath my underwear, slowly, dampness gathered. I knew it was wrong, and yet there was a part of me anticipating what Yuno would do next.
With practiced fingers, my bra clasp came undone.
Yuno gazed for a moment at what was now exposed, then buried her face there, softly.
And then — she ran her tongue, hot, over the tip.
“Haa…! Nnh…!”
The movement of her tongue picked up speed, gradually.
At the exquisite precision of that motion, a loud sound slipped from me before I could help it.
Yuno looked up at me, eyes glazed and heavy, and just as her face began to move toward the other side——
Beep beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep.
A flat, mechanical alarm rang through the room.
From Yuno’s phone.
Yuno picked it up, stuck her tongue out lightly, and murmured:
“Ah… time’s up.”
“…Eh?”
“Part-time shift. I picked up the night cleaning slot too.”
Yuno smiled. Something gentle in it, something faintly apologetic.
And then, as though the heat of a moment ago had been nothing at all, she lifted herself off me, easily, and got up from the sofa.
“…I see…”
Dazed, the words came out of me before I’d decided to say anything. My face was still flushed, my breath still uneven.
“You don’t have to… push yourself that hard.”
Yuno gave a small laugh, pulled on an oversized hoodie, and put the hood up.
“Can’t help it. I’m staying here for free, so I really think I should be putting in proper money.”
She said it, smiled brightly, and slung her backpack on with practiced ease.
…Why does she suddenly get serious only at times like this.
“Sorry… I have to go.”
Yuno smiled and turned toward the entrance —
and in that instant.
Snap.
Without meaning to, I’d caught her wrist.
“Wait…”
“Hm?”
Yuno turned back, puzzled. Our eyes met, hers completely clear and open, and I came back to myself with a jolt.
“Never mind,” I said, and quickly let go.
Yuno said “I’m off,” as if nothing of what had just happened between us had occurred at all, and left the apartment without a second thought.
＊＊＊
Left alone, the room gone quiet.
I lay there on the sofa, my upper half still bare.
What was that.
Doing something like that and stopping halfway.
What is she.
Like a fickle stray cat.
That’s not fair. None of that is fair.
My body was still aching, refusing to settle. The words “I like you,” whispered into my ear, kept crossing my mind, again and again.
The vivid sensation of the kiss. The faint, throbbing ache at my neck. The heat of her tongue, still lingering at my chest.
All of it, slowly, eating away at my reason. At my pride.
Unable to bear it any longer, my hand drifted down, beneath my underwear, before I’d decided to let it.
As my own fingers moved there, the sensation sharpened, and my mind went white.
“…Nn… ah.”
A small sound escaped, and then my whole body went hot all at once, and trembled.
Coming back to myself at last, guilt washed over me in a wave.
I pressed the back of my hand to my eyes and let out a long, deep sigh.
Since Yuno came, I’ve been steadily losing my grip on myself.
Day by day, Yuno eats away at me.
Her presence growing deeper, more vivid, more impossible to ignore.
“What am I doing… me.”
The words, said to no one in particular, rang out, forlorn, in the too-large room.