Episode 42 — The World Is Mine

“Shion — …”

The train sways. I call to the girl pressed close beside me. No reply.

“Shion — come on, don’t be sulky anymore.”

Then a notification chimed, and a message from Shion appeared on screen.

no

Making full use of our freshly exchanged LINE contact to sulk. It seems she hasn’t forgiven me yet.

“Why not?”

I look at her face as I ask. Our eyes don’t meet. Usually she holds my gaze so directly it makes my heart race — right now she’s turned her face away.

That said, our hands are joined as a matter of course — and since Shion’s hands are small enough that she can’t hold her phone in one hand, she’s using mine as a backing plate to type against. Our shoulders are touching too. Taking all of that together, I don’t think she’s genuinely angry — but even so.

While I’m struggling with this, another notification sounds.

you were mean
“I wasn’t…”

I murmur it. Then another message, following on:

you were supposed to ask me to exchange contacts…
“I may not have quite figured that out…”

I’m not a mind reader. And reading people’s expressions and feelings isn’t something I can do from text — I’ve always found that difficult. I never had any friends, after all — I’m stacking up excuses when:

i did so many hints

Another message. And come to think of it, on screen it looks like Shion has been doing all the talking.

That seems a little sad, so I let go of Shion’s hand and try to type something — when:

“Don’t.”

Shion’s voice, for the first time in a while. Still as beautiful as ever — I’m thinking that at my leisure when something cool finds my hand and it’s wound back to where it was. Then another notification.

uta has to talk
don’t want your hand to go away
also i like your voice

That rapid-fire volley of messages.

“Oh — yes.”

An absent, slightly dim response escapes me.

anyway, i was lonely
“…Yes.”

i thought maybe uta didn’t like me
i was scared that maybe i was the only one who wanted to hang out over summer break
“That’s not true.”

I want to be with Shion as much as possible too. The novel — I’m writing it to preserve Shion’s beauty in words, so in that sense having her close is something I’m genuinely grateful for.

It’s just that having never had a friend, I hadn’t thought through the fact that making plans to hang out requires having contact details first.

does uta really want to be with me properly?
“I do.”
really?
“Yes.”
okay then, fine

Oh — that was easier than expected.

A little caught off guard, I glance sideways — and Shion is looking back, cheeks faintly flushed, murmuring:

“Sorry for being cross…”

Then she tips her head onto my shoulder. Squeezes my hand tight.

“It’s fine.”
“Do you hate me now…?”
“I don’t, I don’t.”

An anxious note in her voice this time. I shake my head. Today’s Shion is unusually unsettled — being swept along is tiring, but the gap between this and her usual expressionlessness makes even that dear to me.

“Then — will you hear a request?”
“What?”
“Can I call you? During summer break?”

Shion’s question was answered by the train’s announcement at the same moment — as if sounding the opening bell of summer break itself.

I watched the cumulonimbus clouds flowing past the window, and nodded.