Episode Nineteen

“This pillow feels a bit too high for me,”

Ibara remarked.
Not the price, mind you, but its physical height.

That day, we were determining the ideal pillow height for Ibara.
The method was simple: stack folded bath towels to find the height that best fit the curve of her neck.
　After some trial and error, we finally found the best height. Comparing it to that, the pillow she was currently using was just a tad too high.
It had originally belonged to a friend of mine, so it being unsuitable was hardly surprising.

Ibara, formerly a member of the idol group “Charles”, had suffered severe insomnia due to the stress of overworking in her entertainment career.
As a result, she was more or less forced to graduate from being an idol.
　Now, for some reason, she can’t sleep properly unless I lie beside her.
And the other day, I made a promise to Ibara. To take it slowly, step by step, and work together to overcome this illness.
Hence the pillow.
Among bedding, I still think the pillow is the most crucial item.

“What about bringing a pillow from home?”

“Hmm, that might be tricky. It’s a cheap sleep pillow I bought online, but it doesn’t quite feel right either.”

“Then perhaps it’s better to just buy a new one.”

Even if it costs a bit more, it’s better to use a good pillow. That’s my personal belief.
If ready-made ones don’t suit, there’s always the option of a custom-made one. It’s not a cheap purchase, but it can last a long time as long as your body shape doesn’t change.

“It’s a bit far, but shall we try going to a bedding specialist shop this weekend?”

Ibara nodded vigorously at my words.

“This time, I won’t let it turn out like last time.”

“Are you going to disguise yourself again?”

“It won’t be anything that dramatic, but I’ll be more thorough than last time.”

The other day, Ibara had worn a brimmed hat and changed her hairstyle. Even so, she’d nearly been recognised – you really can’t underestimate fans’ eyes.
…Huh?
Reflecting on Ibara’s actions so far, a sudden question occurred to me.

“Ibara, you’re just yourself in uniform, right? Didn’t fans ever recognise you?”

“Nah. Most members don’t disguise themselves when wearing uniform either. Apparently it’s uniform magic – somehow they just don’t get recognised.”

“Huh…”

It was surprising, yet somehow understandable.
Indeed, when wearing uniform on the train, you just blend into the category of ‘student’, and individual personalities seem to fade.
　Plus, Ibara dresses a bit like a gal, so for better or worse, she doesn’t have that idol vibe. That’s probably why she goes unnoticed.
So then, why not just go out in uniform…? I can’t say I haven’t thought about it, but wearing a uniform at the shopping mall on weekends would probably make her stand out for different reasons.
Above all, my presence walking beside her would be too mysterious.
It’d be fine if we looked like sisters, but otherwise, I’d just look like someone on official business. That’d be awkward.

“Shigure-san, do you have any free days during the three-day weekend?”

“No particular plans. Just thought I’d watch some foreign dramas.”

“How about Sunday then?”

“Mm, sorted.”

Huh?
Even though she agreed, why was she assuming we’d go shopping together?
Ibara’s a high schooler; she could easily go to a Tokyo shopping mall on her own.
But seeing her happily add the event to her Google Calendar, I couldn’t bring myself to say, “Why not just go alone?” in the end, I added it to my schedule too.

　Hmm. Am I spoiling her a bit too much?
Ibara, having plugged her phone into the charger, sat down on the bed and said.

“Listen, Shigure-san. Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“We’re buying a new pillow on Sunday, right? So what are we going to do with the pillow I’m using now?”

Ibara tapped the pillow she was currently using.

“This is a friend’s pillow, you know. An old one.”

I emphasised the ‘old’ part.
She nodded.
The pillow Ibara was using now was one I’d given to a friend who used to spend all her time in this room.
I hadn’t seen her for a while now.

“Are you going to throw it away?”

“Well…”

I didn’t have a spare futon in my room, and I reckoned a semi-double bed was just about the limit for two people to sleep on.
So, strictly speaking, I didn’t really need a spare pillow.
But it was definitely a memento, too.

“…I think I’ll throw it away. Probably.”

I said, hesitating.
Ibara’s expression brightened instantly.

“Oh, I see. Yeah, I think that’s best too. It’s just in the way, isn’t it?”

She said it with an unusually bright smile, though I couldn’t tell what exactly pleased her.

“Hmm, well…”

That was true.
An image of her using this pillow flashed through my mind.
Was this faintly bittersweet feeling also a kind of nostalgia?

　Unable to make up my mind, I sat on the bed and began stretching. It’s my recent nightly routine.
As promised before, Ibara held my body steady.
Bending my upper body while keeping my legs straight, or twisting my waist while she held my arms.
Stretching is also good for sleep, so Ibara does it with me.
Our flexibility is worlds apart, so even when we do the same pose, only I end up writhing in pain.

“Ow ow ow…”

“Shigure-san, you’re far too stiff.”

“Grr…”

As expected, Ibara is incredibly flexible. Perhaps from her dance lessons? Her legs practically open to 180 degrees.
She also knows a lot about stretching techniques, so I learn various methods from her as we loosen up.
Finally, we bend our knees, bring our feet together, and bend forward. A hip joint stretch.

“I’ll push.”

“Right—whoa!”

She only needed to press with her palm, yet somehow she ended up pressing her whole body against me.
This felt less like stretching and more like a back hug.
Her soft breasts were pressing against my back, did she even realise?

We called it quits after a reasonable amount and pulled the duvet over us.
Shortly after lights out, Ibara’s hand touched my body.
　The spot varies day to day, but today she seems to have her sights set on my upper arm.
Through the thin fabric of my sweatshirt, she pinches it between her thumb and forefinger, as if testing the feel.
Squishy.
As Ibara moves her fingertips as if urging something, I ask in a small voice.

“Are we doing it again today?”

“…Yeah, we are.”

　I rolled onto my side and pulled back the duvet.

“It’s fine. Come here.”

Seeing the space created between my pyjamas and the duvet, Ibara murmurs.

“…Shigure-san, you really are sexy, aren’t you…”

“What⁉︎”

“Your very existence.”

“Eeeeeh?”

I’d been told something utterly unexpected and deeply unwelcome.

“I’ll have to make sure I don’t lose out.”

“What are you talking about…?”

Ignoring my question, Ibara timidly snuggled up to me.
She buried her nose near my collarbone, pressing her body tightly against mine to eliminate any gaps. She entwined her legs and pressed her chest against mine.
It was what we’d promised before: “Hugging tightly when we sleep.”
　A deep hug where we could almost hear each other’s heartbeats.
Ibara was the one who suggested it, but honestly, it felt… pleasant, somehow.
Ibara’s body was a bit childishly warm, soft, and felt good to hold.
We stayed like that for about five minutes, perhaps.
Slowly, Ibara pulled away.

“Is that enough?”

“…Mm.”

She pulled the futon back over herself and fidgeted, turning her back to me.
It’s been like this lately. After we hug, she won’t face me.
Could she possibly be embarrassed? Now?

──Not that I’d mind her cuddling up until morning.

December is almost upon us.
Perhaps it was the deepening winter chill that made me think such things.