Episode 13: Turning Point
After we finished our sweets, we exchanged a few easy words and went our separate ways, and I made my way home alone.
The night breeze was pleasant against my skin.
(Surprisingly… I actually relaxed a little.)
Time with Shiori was, strangely, not uncomfortable.
If anything, it had been just the smallest bit easier.
Because the loneliness of Honoka not being there had eased, just a fraction.
Not that I’ve gone off Honoka. That’s not it at all.
Something like that couldn’t happen — not in a million years.
If anything, the more I’m conscious of her absence, the more I’m reminded of just how much I love her.
But right now, I was afraid of being swept away by those feelings.
Without Honoka I’m lonely. I want to see her. I want to hear her voice.
Having nothing but those feelings swelling up inside me, that tightness in my chest that won’t let go — honestly, it hurts.
So the relief of having those feelings ease, even just while I was with Shiori — I was grateful for it.
And yet.
I took out my phone on impulse and stared at the screen.
No notifications from Honoka.
…Am I sitting here waiting for her to message me?
Any other time, I would have been the one to reach out first without a second thought.
But now I was hesitating to send anything myself.
I decided to stop being possessive, to keep my distance — and here I am, still with my head full of nothing but Honoka.
My heart hasn’t changed at all.
I let out a slow breath and put the phone back in my pocket.
Then, out of nowhere, it buzzed.
For just a moment, I let myself hope. Maybe it’s Honoka—
I checked the screen quickly.
But what was there was a message from Shiori.
【Thanks for today. I was so happy to get to talk with you, Nanase-san.】
I stared at that short message for a while.
Right — we’d exchanged contact details at the café.
I hesitated for a moment over whether to reply.
But ignoring it would be strange, so I sent back just a brief 【Same here.】
The phone buzzed again almost immediately.
【About the aquarium I mentioned at the café — have a think about whether you’d like to go.】
(…the aquarium.)
It had been a topic I’d half-let slide past me at the café, but Shiori was genuinely inviting me.
(Should I…go?)
There was still a faint resistance in me, to going somewhere with anyone who wasn’t Honoka.
(But if it’s Shiori…)
It hadn’t even been that long since we started talking, and yet I found that I’d let my guard down around her.
That was probably because she’d listened to my problems and been so considerate of me. So I found myself wanting to take her up on the invitation.
And besides —
(I want to properly build connections with people outside of Honoka.)
Maybe going to an aquarium, just as a first step, would be all right.
I looked at the message thread with Shiori and let that thought settle.