Episode One Hundred and Forty-One

I said it.
At my words, Ibara slowly turned to face me.
The sun was already setting, so it was too dark to see his expression clearly.

“I mean, it might be… but if it’s not, please tell me it’s not.”

Even to myself, it sounded like I was leaving myself an escape route.
Did I want her to say it wasn’t?
　It was pathetic that I couldn’t deny it. What was I doing leaning on Ibara? Shouldn’t it be the other way round?
Ibara stared at me.
Her gaze spoke louder than words.

“…You can sleep, then.”

The tension drained from my shoulders with a thud.
Looking flustered, almost desperate, Ibara grabbed the hem of my yukata.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not angry.”

“But I was lying.”

That might be true, but it’s not a big deal.

“When did you start being able to sleep alone?”

“…After Shigure-san came to my house.”

She mumbled it, sounding uncomfortable.
Somehow, it was a satisfying answer.
　Even after quitting idol activities, Ibara’s insomnia persisted.
If the cause stemmed from her conflict with her mother…
Now that she was freed from that house, perhaps she could truly heal her wounds.
I thought, that’s good. Saying I wasn’t lonely would be a lie, but that was my honest feeling.
I’m glad her illness is cured.

“You should have told me.”

“Because—”

Ibara’s tawny eyes looked up at me intently.

“If I had, I wouldn’t be able to live with Shigure-san anymore.”

“Well, that—”

“Is that not it? Will you still sleep with me?”

When I remained silent, Ibara pressed her lips tightly together. Her expression looked like it would make the sound “Mmm” audible.

“I knew it!”

“Ah, no, that wasn’t it just now—”

“You were hesitating just now. You definitely were.”

“Well, I wasn’t hesitating, not exactly—”

“It’s just like you, Shigure-san. You’re thinking ‘until my exams are over’ or something, aren’t you?”

Gulp.

“H-how did you know?”

“I can see right through you. I don’t like it. I’m going to live with Shigure-san, you see.”

“But what about exam prep—”

This time, Ibara swallowed her words. You could almost hear a “grrr” sound.

“Going smoothly?”

“…It’s fine.”

She averted her eyes dramatically.

“Ibara?”

“I-it’s fine! I’ll study properly!”

Ibara insisted strongly.
　Her earnest words made me want to nod in agreement. Because I wanted that too.
But.
Runa’s warning flashed through my mind.
Ibara would surely prioritise me over herself. That wouldn’t do.
The reverse might be fine, but Ibara must never sacrifice anything for my sake.
I wanted to be kind to this girl.
　But that shouldn’t just mean being tolerant or compliant.

“No way.”

Before I could say anything, Ibara declared like a sulking child.

“I’m saying no.”

“It’s only for half a year.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“But you need to focus on your studies.”

“I can do it. I can manage properly even while living together.”

“But you’ll worry about me, won’t you?”

“I won’t.”

Keeping her eyes downcast, Ibara shook her head from side to side, as if refusing.

“I’ll properly focus on my own things.”

“…Ibara.”

“I’ll study about twenty hours a day.”

“You’ll die, you’ll die.”

“If I’m separated from Shigure-san, I might not be able to sleep again. Are you sure you want that?”

“Don’t scare me.”

“It’s not a threat.”

I could see the tension in her fingertips gripping the yukata.

“Why would you say that? Don’t you want to live in the same house as me, Shigure-san?”

“That’s why it’s only half a year, alright?”

“Too long.”

“It’ll be over soon. Half a year is nothing.”

“It won’t be soon.”

A sniffle sounded.

“It won’t be soon…”

Hearing that sorrowful voice, I recalled my past self.
　Half a year in high school certainly felt longer than half a year does to me now.
The ‘merely’ in ‘merely half a year’ applies to me. For Ibara, it might be different.
Even so, I still think…

“Let’s wait until after graduation to live together.”

“No way!”

Ibara glared at me.
Her smooth cheeks were flushed red.

“We promised to live together!”

“Well… um, yes, we did. But we never specified exactly when that would be, did we?”

“That excuse won’t fly!”

We’d even gone to viewings together. It was definitely me trying to break the promise.
I deserved to be scolded.
I fell silent, and Ibara, looking irritated, reached out a hand.

“—Shigure-san, come here.”

“Eh?”

“Just come.”

“Wh-what?”

“……….”

Dragged along behind her silent back, I began shuffling along.
　Dodging the festival clamour, Ibara entered a park devoid of playground equipment.
She moved deeper into the shade, as if avoiding the streetlights.
Even on a festival night, it felt a bit careless, making me uneasy.
Finally, Ibara stopped.
The chirping of insects came from all around.
Bell crickets, perhaps? Or the hum of insects I didn’t recognise.

“What are you doing here?”

The words trail off.
Like a whirlwind, lips pressed against mine.

“…Ibara. This is outside…?”

“I don’t care.”

Hot breath seeps through the gaps in her yukata.

“──You like me, don’t you?”

“Huh?”

“You like me, don’t you? You want to touch and be touched, lick and rub, press and knead and squeeze me, don’t you?”

“Ibara⁉︎”

“Am I wrong?”

Her direct gaze pierced me.
Seeing I couldn’t answer, Ibara lifted the corners of her mouth as if declaring victory.

“See? I knew it.”

She threw herself at me in a hug.

“You’re with me too, Shigure-san. You like me so much you can’t stand it, always thinking dirty thoughts straight away. It’s obvious. So why would you say you want me to leave?”

“That’s—ah!”

The hand touching my back moved slowly.
The palm stroked my side, tracing the curve of my spine.
　The thin linen fabric brushed against my skin with a soft rustle.

“Ibara, no, stop.”

“You’re actually delighted, aren’t you?”

She said it with a face and voice so beautiful, demonic even, it could almost be called bewitching.

“Be honest. Shigure-san here is a lecherous adult who gets easily aroused when touched like this outside by a high schooler seven years her junior. Right?”

“No, that’s not true.”

“Liar.”

Ibara’s hand groped beneath my waist.
My body reacted pitifully, like a fish hauled from the water.
Ibara laughed, as if to say, ‘Told you so.’

“See?”

“It’s not that. This really is no good.”

“Why can’t you just be honest? It’s not like it’s a bad thing, is it? If you could just say you adore being touched by Ibara, I’d touch you even more.”

Delicate fingertips slipped beneath the overlap of my yukata.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Yet Ibara’s fingers didn’t stop.

“You’re so lewd, so naughty, and you adore me. You adore me so much you get swept away instantly, yet you’re always kind, handsome, warm…”

I opened my eyes.
My gaze met Ibara’s, her eyes glistening.

“Then why won’t you stay with me?”