Episode Eighty-Eight: Yui-san, Why Are You Such a Pervert?
After making it through a hectic week, the Saturday mornings we welcome, skin pressed close together, always find me waking before Yui-san, without fail.
Feeling the faint sunlight leaking in past the curtains, I slowly lifted my eyelids.
December, I always feel, passes faster than any other month of the year.
A week slips by like wind, and just as I think, finally, the precious weekend together has arrived — Monday comes, and the week of living apart begins all over again.
Bad with mornings, Yui-san’s still deep in her dreams even after I wake.
I gazed at her, breathing evenly beside me, asleep.
Gently brushing back the smooth black hair falling over her cheek, I traced my fingers along her pale, flawless cheek.
I love this stretch of time, waiting for her to wake, unbearably.
Just watching that composed, sleeping face, time melts away before I know it.
I do wish I could see the color of her eyes behind those closed lids — but even her breathing, deep in sleep, is enough to squeeze my chest with fondness.
I wonder what kind of dream Yui-san’s having. I hope it’s a happy one.
Monday — my appointed day with Kitagami-san — was drawing close.
I’d planned to tell Yui-san about all of this only after meeting him once more and settling things myself.
It’s not that Kitagami-san doesn’t scare me at all.
Turning down what was probably his biggest possible concession, effectively declaring war on him — I have no idea what he might do in response.
But there are things I can’t give up either.
The person in front of me right now, for one. Even if this love ends up covered in mud, wounded all over — I can’t give up on it over something like this.
Even if a day comes when people point fingers at me, I’ll go on living with her. That’s what I’ve decided.
*
Kitagami-san surely doesn’t love Yui-san, and yet still wants to marry her — what kind of feeling is that, even? Doesn’t it leave him… hollow?
Maybe he’s never once fallen in love with anyone.
Is status, is honor, really that important a thing? What is it he actually wants?
Even with money to spare, does that alone really make a person happy?
I have no idea what Kitagami-san’s actually after.
If it’s just those things he wants — then I absolutely, positively won’t hand Yui-san over.
She’s not someone who should be consumed just to satisfy such a shallow desire.
He surely doesn’t know how delicate, how deeply loving a person she really is.
I traced my thumb gently along the outline of her shapely lips.
I don’t think I can be with anyone but Yui-san anymore. Neither my heart nor my body could ever be satisfied by anyone else.
Spoiled by her kindness, her love — she’s turned me into someone like this.
Kind, and yet mean; making me want to run, and yet want more of her at the same time — every time she touches me, some unknown version of myself gets dragged further and further out, and it scares me.
Being with Yui-san, it’s nothing but firsts, one after another.
I remembered that heated, piercing gaze, watching me from above in the dark.
The feel of faintly sweat-slicked skin touching mine, the indescribable, sweet pleasure the moment those long fingers reached deep — all of it, every bit, Yui-san taught me.
I understand completely, now, why so many women fell captive to this person.
No point being jealous of the past, but if only we’d met sooner — could I have kept that heat of hers from anyone else’s touch?
Too proud to admit it, I’d never tell her directly how completely absorbed in her I’ve become.
Pressing my lips to her forehead, her long lashes trembled. I hadn’t meant to wake her, but those black eyes I’d fallen for, behind those lids, opened and found me.
“Mn… morning, Kanata…”
I love that soft, just-woken voice too. Getting to see this Yui-san, this morning face — right now, that’s a privilege only I get.
“…Good morning, Yui-san.”
Her hand reached out, meaning to pull me close, so I let myself lean in, unreserved, pressing against her chest.
*
“A wide bed really is nice. No worrying about falling off.”
My apartment bed’s a single, a little cramped for two people sleeping together. Even the last time Yui-san stayed over, I’d been on edge the whole time, worried she’d fall off if she rolled over.
Good thing Yui-san’s bed is a double. I think this size is just right, for sleeping together.
“Hmm, you think? I actually like sleeping in your bed too, Kanata.”
“But isn’t a single a bit too cramped?”
“It is, but… your bed always feels special somehow, so I like it…”
I understand that feeling. I like sleeping in Yui-san’s bed better too, and I sleep more soundly there.
Drowsy in her arms, the sense of security threatened to pull me back toward sleep.
But I can’t fall back asleep like this. I promised to go out with Yuuri today, so I need to get up.
“…Hey, Yui-san, it’s cold, I don’t want to get out from under the covers. Where’s my loungewear?”
“Ah… sorry, might’ve tossed it somewhere over there.”
The soft, plush loungewear Yui-san had just bought me had been stripped off me last night, along with my underwear, easily, by her own hands.
Probably fallen under the bed somewhere, but at some point last night, saying she was hot, Yui-san had turned the heater off and tossed the AC remote off somewhere too, so turning the heat back on meant having to get out of bed first, and that alone felt genuinely brutal.
“…You’re the one who took it off, so it’s your responsibility to find it. It’s cold, I don’t want to leave the bed.”
“Eh, already getting dressed? You’re meeting Yuuri-chan at noon, right? Let’s sleep together a little longer.”
“…Because it’s cold without clothes on.”
Said with a pout, Yui-san laughed.
“Cold? I see. Then, let me warm you up.”
“Eh? Wa— wait, Yui-san?”
Slowly moving to hover over me, Yui-san smiled, bright, and brought her lips close to my neck.
Under the covers, her mischievous left hand traced along my defenseless thigh, and, startled, I quickly pressed my palm against her shoulder to stop her, careful of the still-red, slightly swollen bite mark there.
“Ow, Kanata. No touching the wound.”
Yui-san said it, faintly displeased. It’s true — touching the wound was thoughtless of me, I’ll admit.
But being pushed this far, in a situation like this, is a bit much.
Because, without any clothes on, I have no way at all to defend myself right now.
“Well, that’s because you’re trying something strange, Yui-san…”
“You said you were cold, so I thought I’d warm you up.”
I’d said cold, but never asked to be warmed up. I’d only asked her to “find my clothes.”
“Not allowed?”
Her hand, stroking my skin, crept steadily upward, and I pinned it between my thighs to stop it, and Yui-san smiled, thin.
“…Yui-san, why are you such a minx? Lately you’re genuinely like a wolf…”
Yui-san being a minx isn’t exactly new, but wanting it first thing in the morning was unexpected. If we ever actually lived together, what would even happen to me?
Wanted this intensely, I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. …Though the part of me that thinks it’s not actually unwelcome is its own problem.
“Can’t be helped, with you lying naked beside me. C’mon, please. I’ll hold back with just once.”
“You say that, but it’s never actually stopped at once…”
“I’ll properly promise this time. Please.”
Lips pressed to my earlobe, a shiver raced down my spine. Pleased at my involuntary reaction, Yui-san hugged me tight with her right arm.
“…You’ve always loved sex with girls, haven’t you, Yui-san.”
Pursing my lips in what little resistance I had left, Yui-san laughed.
“I won’t deny that… but it’s not girls I want it with. It’s you, Kanata.”
“Really… will you actually promise, just once…?”
“Yeah, of course. I promise.”
A soft tongue caressed the nape of my neck and gently nibbled my collarbone. The red mark left there yesterday must still be visible, and my breath quickened as her lips touched me tenderly.
After just a few brief touches of our lips, a heat ignited deep within my stomach and all the strength drained from my body.
Taking advantage of this, the hand that had been tracing up my thigh reached between my legs.
A small “Ah” escaped my lips, and my hips trembled.
Before I was even mentally prepared, I shuddered at the sensation of her fingers touching that sensitive spot, and Yui looked down at me with a mischievous smile.
“Hehe, that’s quite something…”
“…Please don’t say things like that…”
I bit my lip tightly in protest. From the smoothness of her fingertips the moment they touched me, I realised for myself exactly what was going on down there, and I felt so embarrassed.
Even as she apologised, saying “Sorry, sorry”, Yui-san mercilessly slid her body between my legs, leaving me with no choice but to cling tightly to her back.
Cold air seeped in through the gap in the lifted duvet.
“Yui-san, I’m cold…”
“…You’ll warm up in a moment, so it’s fine.”
Just having her call my name gently in my ear made me feel as if I were about to faint. The sensation of her fingertips against my skin was melting my rationality into a gooey mess.
Having completely forgotten that it was morning, I pressed my lips to the nape of her neck and bit down playfully.
＊＊＊
Knowing full well this would happen, why did I still give in to Yui-san’s request?
Whipping my still-sluggish body into motion, I’d just barely finished getting ready before our scheduled departure time, but I was still, a little, sulking.
“Kanata, your outfit today’s cute. Wish I could’ve gone on a date with you too.”
Sipping milk tea on the sofa, saying that so carefree, I shot her a sharp, sidelong glare.
The white turtleneck I’d bought new, meant for tomorrow’s date, I’d had no choice but to wear today instead — entirely because Yui-san had left more than enough hickeys on my neck to necessitate it.
Not just my neck. My stomach, my thighs, marks of her everywhere. Lately, she’s genuinely shown zero restraint.
Though, I suppose, I’m not exactly in a position to talk either.
Peeking from her white sweats, a fresh bite mark had joined the one on her neck — the brand new one from this morning, when I’d bitten her myself.
Even when I bite her, Yui-san never gets angry. She groans, briefly, clearly in pain the moment my teeth sink in, but that’s all.
Once, long ago, when I pointed out a bite wound from some other girl, she’d said, “hurt so much there might not be a next time” — I’d worried about that a little, but “next time” has kept coming, without fail, so I think, probably, I’ve been forgiven.
I can never hold back, no matter how hard I try. I know it’s a bad habit, and yet I can’t stop.
But normally, I always apologize for that bad habit afterward — this time, I had absolutely no intention of apologizing.
It’s true, Yui-san had kept her promise of “just once.” But that promise had left me in a genuinely awful state, one way or another.
Because — never in a million years had I expected that “once” to involve being teased that mercilessly.
Begging, over and over, “I can’t take it anymore, please stop teasing me,” and Yui-san, stubborn, refusing to let go, saying she wasn’t done yet — by the end, I’d been half in tears.
“…I’m going on a date with you tomorrow, Yui-san. Today’s for Yuuri.”
Turning my gaze away, saying it curt, Yui-san blinked, blank, and peered into my face.
“Eh? Kanata, are you maybe still sulking?”
“I’m not… sulking.”
“Sorry, really. Come on, cheer up. I kept my promise, didn’t I?”
“…I’ll be late, so I should get going.”
Just once — never again, I swore to myself. Grabbing my bag, I headed for the entryway. Then, from behind, an arm caught me, holding me back, and I stopped.
“Kanata. I’ll drive you to your meeting spot.”
“It’s fine, I already checked the train times.”
“Then I’ll pick you up on the way back.”
“…I won’t be out late today, I can take the train home.”
“Really? Then I’ll make dinner and wait for you.”
“Eh… is that really okay?”
Yui-san really is skilled at winning back my mood. Sulking, and yet easily won over by food — I have to question myself too, honestly…
“Sure. How about stew for dinner? You said you wanted it yesterday, didn’t you?”
Even some offhand comment of mine, made while spacing out watching TV — Yui-san always picks it up, easily.
That makes me happy. It makes me feel, genuinely, that I’m truly loved.
Nodding, “yeah,” Yui-san’s lips brushed my cheek.
“Take care. Have a good time.”
Said in that gentle voice, my own sulking suddenly felt ridiculous.
Somehow I feel like I’ve been smoothly talked around, but — never mind, it’s fine.
“…Alright, I’m off.”
Waving, reluctant, Yui-san laughed and waved back at me too.
＊＊＊
The reason I’d invited Yuuri out today was because I wanted her company picking out a Christmas present for Yui-san.
Dragging her around all day, no complaint at all about my indecisiveness — I don’t think anyone but Yuuri could put up with that.
After agonizing and agonizing, I settled on a pair of leather gloves, cute with a single-point logo.
Since the news kept saying this winter would be especially cold, I picked black — something she could use even on business trips, to keep her at least a little warmer.
Trying them on myself, my fingers left the tips empty — but with her long fingers, I think they’d fit perfectly.
I’ll add a hand cream from the same brand as her favorite perfume, and give her that too.
I remembered her smooth, hangnail-free fingertips. This season means more hand-washing to avoid catching a cold, so a hand cream can never hurt.
Yuuri watched me agonize seriously, back and forth, over the gift, occasionally teasing me, but smiling, somehow, genuinely happy the whole time too.
As thanks for keeping me company, I treated her to our company hotel’s celebrated afternoon tea, and we parted ways before dinner.
On the train home, I messaged Yui-san: “heading back now.”
Unusually, a reply came back right away. “Made it~” along with a photo of a pot full of cream stew attached, and I couldn’t help but smile.
Breathing white breath into the cold air, thinking of that stew, I hurried my steps toward Yui-san’s house.
Little by little, that dreaded Monday drew closer.
But if I could just get past that, our four-years-overdue Christmas was right there, waiting.