Episode 86: You Don’t Have to Answer Right Away

Finishing work, I swiped my employee card at the time clock and left the building. Outside, it had grown completely dark, and I felt a biting cold, pulling my coat collar up.

Perhaps because I was going to see someone I didn’t want to meet, my steps towards the designated hotel felt unusually heavy.

　I have no idea what Kitakami-san is thinking.
I felt it last time we met too, but I find him difficult. Just being stared at by those dark brown eyes makes me feel an indescribable suffocation, as if my lungs were being squeezed.

　He said he summoned me for ‘business matters’, but I simply couldn’t interpret his message that way. It felt as precarious as walking through an impenetrable fog.

Truth be told, I was filled with the urge to run away.

My tendency to overthink everything proved a hindrance. No matter how hard I tried not to, I couldn’t stop conjuring the worst possible scenarios.

　My mind kept spiralling towards the worst possible outcomes. Even though it might genuinely be about work.

But then, why keep it secret from Yui? Why not meet at our own hotel, but at one belonging to a different chain?

I knew pondering alone would yield no answers, yet I remained trapped in a vortex of dark thoughts, unable to escape. Before I knew it, I’d arrived at the designated spot.

　Sighing, I looked up at the hotel. Its peak seemed almost to be sucked into the black sky, that’s how high it was.
It was a place I’d never normally come to. The designated bar lounge was in a well-known luxury hotel run by a competitor.

I gripped the handle of my bag tightly. Dwelling on it wouldn’t help. I’d come this far. There was no turning back now.

　In the end, I didn’t tell Yui-san that Kitakami-san had summoned me.

Partly because I didn’t want to burden her any further, given how busy she already was. But also, if I told her without knowing Kitakami-san’s true intentions, it could tip him off that my relationship with Yui-san had already crossed the line between ‘President’ and ‘Secretary’.

　So, I’d decide whether to consult her after hearing what Kitakami-san had to say.

That’s what I thought, yet here I was, frozen in my tracks at this late stage. How pathetic. I could only laugh, almost mockingly.

＊＊＊

The appointed hour: seven o’clock.

In the dimly lit bar lounge, at the far end. He sat waiting at the counter.
A broad back clad in a deep navy suit. The appearance of a businessman with a neatly groomed hairstyle.
Though we’d only met a handful of times, I recognised him immediately.

　Without needing to call out, Kitakami-san seemed to hear my footsteps and slowly turned. The orange lighting glinted sharply in his distinctive burnt-brown eyes.

I’m not usually stared at so piercingly by anyone. That’s why I understand. The hostility he harbours towards me within his chest.

　It felt like something was coiling up from my feet, a sickening sensation. His eyes fixed on me were always sharp, like a snake eyeing its prey.

“…Good. I was a bit worried you might not come.”

I hadn’t been late, surely.
Though I didn’t retort, Kitakami-san, whisky glass in hand, grinned knowingly, as if seeing right through my displeasure.

　If that’s how you feel, you shouldn’t have called me out in the first place. Unsure what to say, I settled for the safe option: “Sorry I’m late.”
Trying not to let my voice tremble. Trying not to let him see my unease. I drew a deep, deep breath from my belly.

“Next to me, please.”

Prompted, I sat down on the chair beside him.

“What’ll you have?”

“…I’m not much of a drinker, so I’ll pass.”

“Don’t be so unsociable. It’s a special occasion.”

With that, he swiftly raised his hand towards the bartender behind the counter.

“The same for her, please.”

Kitakami-san lifted his whisky glass slightly and smiled faintly.

　Wait a moment. I did say I’m not much of a drinker…
Before I could protest, he fixed me with a piercing stare. His eyes came to rest precisely on my chest.

There, the necklace Yui-san had given me glinted. After confirming it, he gave a faint, defiant smile.

　I reluctantly accepted the glass offered by the bartender, unable to refuse.
Swaying within the glass was, most likely, whisky. I’d never even tried it neat…
Noticing my frown, the bartender, sensing my discomfort, thoughtfully offered a chaser a moment later.

I couldn’t very well ignore the glass offered for a toast, so I reluctantly held out mine. It felt terribly off-kilter. I really don’t get on with this man.

Kitakami-san possesses a forcefulness that instantly draws anyone into his own rhythm, no matter who they are. He’s probably an excellent businessman, but being around him is suffocating. It’s incredibly uncomfortable.

“Never thought I’d be drinking with you before Yui. She’s never once come along when I’ve invited her out before. Come on, Yui can’t hold her drink, can she?”

Can’t hold her drink? Who? Yui-san?

Huh? I almost blurted out. What on earth is this man talking about?

Yui-san is incredibly strong when it comes to alcohol, surely… I started to say, but kept quiet. It was probably just a lie Yui-san made up to dodge him.

I sighed quietly, trying not to be noticed, and gently touched my lips to the glass. The distinctive aroma and the bitterness on my tongue made me involuntarily frown.

It wasn’t like the highballs Yui-san always drank.

Her tongue always tasted just a little bitter after drinking, but there was always a faint sweetness within that bitterness too.
　I’d always assumed that was simply the taste of whisky.

But it was fine. After all, drinking with him meant nothing tasted good anyway.

“To get straight to the point… may I ask what brings you here?”

“Now, don’t be so impatient. It’s not as if I’m about to tell you something terrible.”

I couldn’t possibly believe it wasn’t terrible.

　I dislike him, but he seems to dislike me too. His words carried hidden barbs; the tension was palpable, as if he’d mercilessly rip out my heart if I showed the slightest opening.

“Actually… I’m thinking of recommending you to the secretarial office at the holding company.”

“Eh?”

The suddenness made me utter a completely absurd sound. Unable to grasp the meaning immediately, I stared intently at his face – a face that, by society’s standards, must be considered handsome.

“Put simply, it’s an internal transfer to the parent company. If it goes well, you could transfer your company affiliation outright. Do you know our average annual salary? Both the environment and pay would be far better than what you have now.”

“But… I’ve only just become a secretary… I don’t recall achieving any accomplishments worthy of a recommendation.”

“That’s not true. Serving as a secretary at your age is quite something. Ah, are you perhaps worried about your replacement? If so, we’ll arrange one here, so there’s no need to fret.”

I gave a wry smile at him, who had delivered that in one breath without pause.
Until just now, I’d thought overthinking was a bad habit… but I reconsidered.
　It was good I’d imagined the worst-case scenario. He really has noticed the relationship between me and Yui-san. He’s noticed, and he’s trying to pull me away from her.

“There’s no reason to turn down such a favourable offer, is there? Or is there some reason you absolutely must insist on being Yui’s secretary?”

He knew I couldn’t say the reason. I sensed it. He really is… a spiteful man.

What should I do? I ponder. I can’t give an immediate answer. I can’t risk saying something clumsy and having him seize upon my words.
This man is clever. Yui-san might easily hold her own against him, but honestly, unprepared as I am now, he’s a bit beyond me.

“…You did say this was to be kept confidential from Yui-san, correct? However, I’m afraid I must ask you to go through the company. I cannot decide this on my own authority.”

I had no choice but to give an evasive answer. I wanted to avoid reacting purely on emotion without understanding his true intentions.

Then, Kitakami-san gave me a faint smile.

“Your decision alone is fine. Yui wouldn’t refuse, would she? Considering your future, it’s an absolutely brilliant opportunity – why would she object? Work isn’t play. Yui understands that perfectly well.”

His voice was quiet, utterly devoid of emotion, flat and even.

　That very quality made it terrifying. It felt like a blade had been pressed against my throat the entire time.
So much so that I was convinced the slightest wrong move would cause it to pierce my skin and slit my throat in an instant.

Sweat broke out despite the lack of heat. I swallowed hard several times, moistening my mouth with whisky to hide my agitation.

　A foul taste. This aroma, this clinging, gritty bitterness on my tongue, this person too – I detest them all.

If he intends to push this through so forcefully – then I shall refuse him outright, here and now. Lifting my gaze from the amber liquid swaying in the whisky glass, I look at him.
It’s alright. He hasn’t pointed it out directly. If he hasn’t grasped any evidence, then there’s still room to play dumb.

“I’m truly grateful for your kind words. But Kitakami-san, I’m afraid I must…”

“Having an employee stay overnight at your home? That seems to cross the line between staff and management. While it’s good you get on well, it would be problematic if other employees found out. Even if it suits you, it casts doubt on Yui’s suitability. You wouldn’t want people thinking company management is just a frivolous pastime for a spoilt girl, would you?”

　The sharpened blade of his words gouged at her chest. She hadn’t wanted him to call it frivolous. What on earth had he seen in her all this time?

She understood why it would be problematic if other employees found out. But she simply couldn’t believe that such a thing would shake the three years Yui-san had built up in this company.

　This man knows absolutely nothing about Yui-san.

Yui-san is like the calm sea at night.

He doesn’t know her true nature. He merely gazes endlessly at the distant, boundless horizon, thinking he knows her, yet he has surely never even tried to understand that beyond it lies a deep, deep sea, and that is where the real her resides.

“Thank you very much for your advice. But there’s no need for concern. I shall be more careful henceforth. Therefore, regarding the counter-assignment…”

“You needn’t reply immediately. Let’s say a week from now.”

Kitakami-san, anticipating my words, cut me off decisively, silencing me. He smiled, his thin lips curving slightly.
Yet the eyes that met mine held no trace of laughter. They were dark and cold enough to send a chill down my spine.

“You see, I dislike trouble. I’d prefer to settle matters peacefully if possible. I can handle supporting Yui on my own. Neither Yukiyasu nor you are needed. Think it over a little more carefully. Including how you intend to proceed from here.”

With a loud thud, Kitakami-san stood up. Just as I opened my mouth to retort, his large, knobbly hand landed on my shoulder. The sensation of that firm grip on my shoulder sent a chill down his spine.

“Ah yes… I hear your father is a friend of President Ichinose’s. He’s stationed in England now, isn’t he? Working for a company as large as ours, that’s impressive. Rumour has it the whole office is abuzz that he’ll undoubtedly become a director once he returns to Japan. So perhaps you’ve inherited that talent too?”

Startled, I looked up at his face. Why would he say such a thing? Had he actually looked into it? Into my affairs.

I mustn’t let him see my unease. This man was undoubtedly the type to prey on weaknesses. Anything, just say something. I had to retort quickly — yet for a moment, my father’s smiling face flashed through my mind.

My throat tightened painfully, constricting my voice.

“Right then. See you here in a week.”

After Kitakami-san left, I was left utterly dazed. Only then did I realise I’d been clenching my fist so tightly the nails dug deep into my palm, causing pain.

I gently opened my hand, as if to ease the trembling fingertips. My palm was red, bearing the distinct imprint of my nails.

＊＊＊

　Leaning against the train door, I stared blankly at the city lights through the swaying window.

—I couldn’t retort. I had a mountain of things I wanted to say. …Pathetic.

I banged my head against the window.

Honestly, I hadn’t expected him to bring up my father. Was that really him threatening me?

　Even though I intended to tell my family when I went home for the New Year, I hadn’t thought I could tell them yet about it being Yui-san, or that our relationship wasn’t something that could be accepted right now.

His daughter’s infidelity, and between women, no less.

If that were to be leaked to my father’s company… it might cause trouble for my father too.

Kitakami-san is serious. He genuinely feels threatened by me and is trying to eliminate me completely.

　He’s remarkably sharp. Perhaps I’d underestimated him.

I alighted at the station nearest my flat and walked home alone. What should I do? What on earth should I do?

I pulled my phone from my coat pocket and, with numb fingertips, reached for the top entry in my call log — then stopped.

Instead, I tapped the one below. The familiar name of a friend.
　After a few rings, a reassuring “Hello?” came through, and the tension that had been holding my body rigid finally seemed to slip away.

“Sorry for the sudden call. Yuri, are you busy? It’s just… I need someone to listen to me vent a little.”

The bitter-sweet taste of whisky lingered on my tongue, refusing to fade.

I looked up at the distant night sky.

It felt as though one might simply fall into the sky, for an endless, profound darkness stretched out before them.