Episode Thirty-Two

Despite putting on a brave front, I still hadn’t found the answer.
I left the office just before the last train.
Dragging my heavy feet, I got off the train and passed through the ticket gates.

“…Ha ha.”

Seeing the entrance leading to the rotary, I couldn’t help but laugh.
A passing shower.
A fierce autumn rain was falling as if the sky had opened up.
Typical me. A rain born woman is no mere title.
Naturally, I had no umbrella, and the kiosk was already closed. The taxi rank was deserted, and the buses had long since finished.
At least I had the tablet and accessories for the work with me.
I briefly considered just sitting on a station bench, but my hands were numb, and I doubted I could hold the tablet pen properly.
Anxiety began to eat away at me.
I needed to start the work soon.
　I know from our exchanges so far.
The current design will never get the green light.
The client won’t compromise, and someone else will take over this job.
Something dim and gloomy whispers inside me.

Should I just give up here?

Should I wait with a warm drink until the rain stops?
　So my favourite flared skirt doesn’t get muddy.
No rain lasts forever.
If I wait, the rain will stop eventually.
That’s fine, isn’t it?
I sat down on the station bench, holding my canned coffee.
The moment I did, accumulated fatigue washed over me like a burst dam.
My body felt heavy. As if my whole body had turned to mud.
I couldn’t face standing up again.
　But, you know what? It’s fine.
I did what I could.
I’ll stay here until the rain stops.
After that, Shindo-san will surely sort things out.
My part is done…….

I guess I couldn’t do it like Runa did.
The days spent in the high school art club, the four years at art college, the three years since entering society – none of it meant much.
　Truthfully, I’ve known this for ages.
I’m not kind at all.
My life is empty. Because it’s empty, I try to be kind to people, to be gentle, to give, to offer myself – hoping that by doing so, I can become someone meaningful.
Yet the only one who can give me value is myself.
Even that, I sought from others, trying to fill an unfillable void.
It’s always been like this.
How utterly pointless.

　The sound of the rain has been unbearably loud since earlier.
I plugged my earphones in and opened the YouTube app.
Without thinking, I played a video labelled ‘Recommended for you’.

Instantly, I heard Ibara voice.

“‘On nights when you can’t sleep, I’ll sleep with you deep in the forest.’”

On the smartphone screen was Ibara, standing on stage.
　The video’s title was [Charles’ Sleeping Beauty (Shinomori Ibara)_Compilation].
I found myself utterly transfixed, as if my soul had been sucked in.
On the screen, Ibara was giving her all.
She danced and sang with her entire being.
In every scene, she wore an exceptionally adorable expression, standing on stage with flawless choreography and vocals.
She shone so brightly it made my heart ache just watching.
　But I know.
How anxious Ibara was behind that glittering stage.
How desperately she tried to fulfil her role, even if it meant being abandoned by peaceful sleep.
It’s dazzling.
So dazzling, so overwhelmingly bright, it burns and hurts deep in my eyes.

　──If you’re tired, you can rest. It’s fine if you run away.

Those words I told Ibara back then were my unmistakable true feelings.
But.
Still.
I sniffed softly.

“…I think I understand how Momono-chan felt a little.”

I lifted my face, exhaled deeply, and glared at the rain that still showed no sign of stopping.

Anyone can run away, anytime.
But my ‘anytime’ isn’t now.

†

It was the heaviest, coldest rain I’d ever known.
My jaw trembled, my teeth chattered. No matter how far I walked, my body wouldn’t move forward.
Drops seeping through my coat brushed my bare skin, stinging as if frozen.
Despite the bitter cold, my head felt strangely foggy.
　Probably sleep deprivation. I haven’t slept properly since last week.
If it were just work being busy, I’d have dealt with that many times before.
But lately, Ibara has always been by my side.
That’s why I was fine. When Ibara is there, I sleep well. That child is fluffy, warm, and smells lovely.
Come to think of it, it was like that from the start. When we sat next to each other on the train, when I slept on Sereno’s sofa.
　It was always me who was led by the hand into the land of sleep.
From the very beginning, all along.
It was me who needed it, who received it, who was saved.
My nose stung.
Oh, it’s so cold.
I’d resolved to push through just one more step, but my body couldn’t keep up with my resolve.
The winter rain was cold, and the starless night was dark and lonely, threatening to freeze me to the core.

　I want to see you.
Just once more.
I know it would lift my spirits.

That was when it happened.
Soft indirect lighting touched my cheek.
Sereno’s light. When had I walked this far?
I lifted my rain-drenched face.
A girl met my gaze through the windowpane.
　She sat at a table, textbook open, uniform still on, dark circles beneath her eyes.
A mechanical pencil slipped from her slender fingers.
She stood, kicking her chair back.
In the rain, a wind chime tinkled.

“──Shigure-san!”

Ibara burst through the door, splashing water as she ran towards me.
　In the downpour, without an umbrella.
I couldn’t help but cry out.

“You idiot, what are you doing?! You’ll get soaked!”

“Huh?!?!?”

A “Huh?” returned with about three times the force of mine, leaving me speechless.

“That’s clearly my line! What are you doing⁉︎”

The rain continued to pour relentlessly.
It lashed coldly against Ibara’s beautiful hair, her slender shoulders, and the legs emerging from her skirt.
Yet she approached without hesitation and took my hand.

“Come.”

“But I have work—”

“I’ll kick you!”

“Scary.”

With a strong pull, she hauled me up into the bright light.
Her palm, clasped with mine, was warm.
I didn’t resist anymore.

We entered the shop, soaking wet. Aki appeared from the service entrance carrying two bath towels.
She handed one to Ibara and one to me.

“You’re quite the drenched customer, aren’t you?”

“Sorry…”

“It’s alright. Here, dry yourself off quickly. Wait here a moment. I’ll get the bath ready.”

“Eh?”

Before I could ask again, she vanished back through the service entrance.
A bath? Did she mean for me to take one? Surely that was too much trouble.
I hesitated for a moment, then ended up pressing the bath towel to my hair.
Ever since meeting these two, I’d been receiving nothing but kindness.

“Shigure-san, take off your coat. There’s somewhere to hang it.”

“But it’s wet, I’ll get it dirty.”

“Just do it.”

In a tone that brooked no argument, Ibara stripped the coat from me. Fortunately, the inside wasn’t too wet.
Or rather, Ibara was in a worse state.
After all, it was pouring rain. Even though she hadn’t been in the rain long, she was soaked through, the fabric clinging to her skin.
Her uniform’s white blouse.
The lemon-yellow bra was visible through it.
I shifted my position to stand between her and the window.
It was late at night, and with this rain, there were no passers-by.
Even so, I wanted to hide it. If only it hadn’t been wet, I would have lent her my coat.

“…What?”

Ibara, ever observant, looked puzzled.

“Your clothes are see-through. Don’t you have a blazer or something?”

“It’s just the room.”

I answered, and Ibara gave a cute little sneeze, “Achoo!”
Her slender shoulders shook. I pressed the borrowed bath towel against her clothes. I meant to soak up some of the moisture, though it probably didn’t help much.
As I did so, I felt a tingling in the back of my nose. A sneeze escaped me: ‘Achoo!’

“──It’s cold, isn’t it?”

Ibara hugged her elbows.
My gaze drifted involuntarily to her chest, now more pronounced.
Quick to notice my stare, she shot me a mischievous look.

“Shigure-san, are you interested?”

I felt myself getting irritated. Was this really the time for jokes?

“Of course I am.”

“Hmph.”

At my dismissive retort, Ibara looked as if she’d been hit by a pea shooter.

“If you stay like that, you’ll catch a cold. And I don’t want a complete stranger seeing you like this.”

“…So that means…”

Ibara’s cheeks, pale from the cold, began to flush a faint rose colour. Her pale lips curved into a smile.

“What?”

“Hmm. I see. You don’t like other people seeing me in my underwear.”

She chuckled, oddly cheerful.
What on earth was she so happy about?

“Listen. Don’t worry, I only show myself like this to you, Shigure-san.”

“Right, right.”

Still as fond of teasing people as ever.
I deliberately gave a curt reply and checked the set of tablets in the bag. Good. They didn’t seem wet.
The rain showed no sign of stopping.
If I could get permission, I might just work here. It would probably go much faster than doing it alone at home.
Ibara peered into the bag with interest.

“Shigure-san, what’s this?”

“Work tools. I’ve got some work I need to finish tonight.”

“Wow, you’re a corporate slave.”

“Yeah.”

It suddenly struck me.
How to put it… it felt normal. Weren’t we supposed to be fighting?
Ah well.
The gate clicked open.
Aki-san poked her head through the gap, saw me, and gave me a thumbs-up gesture, urging me inside.

“The bath’s nearly full. Have a shower while you wait.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly impose…”

“It’s alright. You’re a valued regular. You’re freezing, aren’t you?”

“Well… I’m terribly sorry. I’ll take you up on that. But Ibara should go first.”

“Nah, why not both at once? You’ve both gone blue around the gills.”

Aki-san’s words made me blink in surprise.
Turning back, I met her tawny eyes.

“Er… I don’t mind, but Ibara…”

“I’m in.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, Shigure-san’s wetter than me, and I’m cold too. If we stay like this, we’ll catch a cold. Can’t be helped, right? What do they call this sort of thing? Ah, yes. Force majeure. Because in this situation, there’s no better option.”

She finished speaking unusually quickly, then gently looked away.

“…So, let’s get in together. It’s alright, isn’t it?”