Episode 3: Did You Think It Was My Child?

Kase Mizuki’s flat was about a fifteen-minute walk from mine, on the ground floor of a two-storey apartment building.
It was a simple structure with no automatic locks or anything, but the cream-coloured exterior walls were still new and clean.

Stepping under the roof, I closed my umbrella and casually brushed off the droplets.

“So you lived this close, Kase-san. I’m surprised we’re neighbours. Even though we went to different secondary schools.”

“My family grew by one, so we moved to a bigger flat recently.”

I see. So she’d only just moved in, which explained why we’d never crossed paths until now.

“Well, since you’re here, why not stay for a cup of tea? You can head back once the rain eases off?”

The offer was more than welcome, and I couldn’t help but smile.
I’d been thinking how incredibly lucky I was just to have a few minutes to chat before heading home.

“Is that alright? Thank you.”

I followed her as she took out her keys and unlocked the door with a click.

“Excuse me.”

“Come in. Thanks for carrying my bags.”

Kase Mizuki tossed off her shoes and stepped inside first. Taking the rather heavy shopping bag from me, she smiled warmly.

The living room, silent and empty, felt larger than I’d imagined.

　A baby cot stood prominently, and I was taken aback by the unmistakable atmosphere of active childcare.

Surely, this child isn’t really Kase Mizuki’s… is it?
Even though you can marry from eighteen, she hasn’t already got married, has she…?

Could it be her husband’s child from a previous relationship, or…?
Unpleasant imaginings swirled round and round in my mind.

“Ah, I’ll get you some tea. Please take a seat on the sofa.”

Without removing the baby carrier, Kase Mizuki efficiently stowed the baby items on the shelf with practised hands, then served me cold tea.

“Is it alright to keep holding the baby like that?”

“No, I’ll put him down now.”

　Kase Mizuki stood beside the cot and clicked the buckle on the back of the carrier open.
With the gentle care one might use with fragile glass, she carefully laid the baby down in the cot. The baby didn’t wake, falling asleep with arms stretched high in the air.

“Phew, thank goodness he didn’t wake… This moment always makes me nervous.”
“…Hey, mind if I have a closer look? “

“Sure, come over here.”

I approached cautiously as she beckoned me over. Having never seen a baby up close before, I peered into the cot with keen interest.

“My little brother, Tasuku.”

“Your brother?”

“Hehe, did you think he was mine?”

Kase Mizuki grinned.

　Without saying a word, I simply shook my head.
Honestly, I had doubted it just a little. Though I knew it was unlikely, of course.

Phew, thank goodness. I felt incredibly relieved.

But seriously, why are you looking after your little brother all by yourself? I couldn’t bring myself to ask, so I just stared at Tasuku, fast asleep.

Tiny hands. Fuzzy, downy hair, a light brown colour.
　He slept so utterly still that his face looked almost artificial.

Is he breathing properly? I felt uneasy.

But when I looked closely, his thin chest rose and fell slightly with each breath. Even this small, his heart was beating properly, and he was breathing steadily.

“How old is Tasuku now?”

“Four months old.”

“Oh, really? Only four months old…”

“Is this your first time seeing a baby up close?”

“Yes, I’m the youngest. …He’s adorable.”

As she peered down at Tasuku, Kase Mizuki smiled softly.

“I see… Tasuku, that’s lovely. Someone called you cute.”

Then, with a distant look in her eyes, she spoke to the sleeping baby.

　The rain showed no sign of stopping. Nor did it lessen.
But I hoped it would keep falling like this. I wanted to talk more with Kase Mizuki, just the two of us.

“…It was the talk of the school, wasn’t it? That I had a child.”

While boiling water for milk in the kitchen, she suddenly asked this, stifling a yawn.
　Staring out the dim window through the heavy rain, I inwardly flinched, but forced a nonchalant expression and turned to face Kase Mizuki.

“Really? I’ve never heard that rumour.”

It was a lie.
I didn’t want her to misunderstand that I’d asked out of curiosity, wanting to verify the rumour. I couldn’t bring myself to admit it honestly, so I pretended ignorance.

“Someone apparently saw me. Well, I suppose it would be startling, seeing a schoolgirl walking around carrying a baby. I get stared at a lot, so I’m used to it now.”

“Aren’t you going to correct the rumour? You could just say he’s your little brother. Oh, shall I tell them?”

“No, I’d rather it stayed a topic we don’t touch on than have people probe too deeply. Could you keep it to yourself too, Asami-san?”

Her eyes looked at me warily.
I had no intention of telling anyone. Besides, it’d be a waste to share such a juicy story.

“…Alright then. It’s just between us.”

The fact that her brother was eighteen years younger than her, and then questions like how old her mother must be, or what her father did for a living – they piled up like mountains.

　But for her, it seemed better to endure being bombarded with questions than to have rumours – true or false – spread about her. So I didn’t ask.

Lately, Kase Mizuki had been sleeping through every break between lessons, completely shutting out the outside world.
Even if rumours were spread, she herself seemed utterly unconcerned.

Amidst the sound of rain, the trickle of running water reached me from the kitchen. Curious, I stood up and peered over her shoulder to see her running a baby bottle under the tap to cool it.

“Huh, so that’s how you cool milk.”

“Yeah. Apparently you can’t make it lukewarm to begin with. It’s a pain, isn’t it? But Mum keeps nagging me about it.”

Hearing Kase Mizuki mention her mother, I felt relieved – thank goodness, it wasn’t neglect… though that was rather rude of me.

“…Mum, will she be back soon?”

“Nah, she won’t be back till morning. On the days Mum works, I’m in charge of Tasuku’s night shift.”

Saying this with a laugh, Kase Mizuki returned, bottle in hand.

Huh? Night shift…?
Is it even possible for a mother not to come home until morning when there’s such a tiny baby?
　Could that be why Kase Mizuki always looked so sleepy? Because she’d been up all night looking after Tasuku?

Tasuku slept soundly and comfortably, showing no sign of waking yet.

“…He’s been asleep forever, so I thought he might wake up and made the milk, but he’s not stirring at all.”

Peering into the cot, Kase Mizuki let out a small sigh.

“Oh dear, I don’t want to wake him. When he’s asleep is my only free time. Having him cry and fuss about being hungry while I make his milk really gets to me mentally, so I made it beforehand… When he’s crying like that, every single second until it’s ready feels like an eternity.”

“I see…”

“What shall I do? Wait until he wakes up? It’ll get cold though.”

“…It does feel a bit cruel to wake him when he’s sleeping so peacefully, doesn’t it?”

While we were talking like that, Tasuku stretched his little arms and legs out stiffly and grunted.

Oh, no. Was my voice too loud?

Tasuku scrunched up his face. Then, almost immediately, a faint, whimpering cry rose up.

“S-sorry, I woke him.”

“No, it’s alright. Perfect timing. Come on, Tasuku. It’s time for your milk.”

With practised ease, Kase Mizuki lifted Tasuku and brought the bottle, just cooled, to his mouth.
Opening his tiny mouth, he latched onto the bottle. Still seeming to drift in a dream, his eyelids closed as he puffed out his cheeks and began drinking.

“…What do you do on night shifts?”

“Give baths, feed milk, change nappies, put them to sleep. If they cry, I pick them up and soothe them, and sleep in between… just repeating the same things over and over until morning.”

“…You wouldn’t have time to study.”

She started to say, “Even though you’re a student preparing for exams,” but fell silent.

　The reason Kase Mizuki’s grades had fallen, the reason she was always asleep. …I finally understood.

“Right now, I need sleep more than study time.”

Watching Kase Mizuki stare at Tasuku with utterly exhausted eyes—I felt a strong urge to voice my criticism: what on earth are her mother and father doing, forcing childcare onto a child like this?

But I didn’t say it.

　No one likes having their own parents criticised. That would be meddling, pure and simple. Every family has its own circumstances.

“…If I hold him, will he stop crying?”

“Yeah, he’ll fall asleep on his own if you rock him.”

“Then I’ll hold him. Why not sleep now? Doesn’t look like the rain’s stopping any time.”

“Eh? Won’t that make you late getting home, Asami-san?”

“It’s fine, I live nearby.”

“But I feel bad…”

Kase Mizuki deftly rested Tasuku, who’d finished his milk, against her shoulder and patted his back.
Tasuku immediately let out a small burp and looked content.

“Ah, right, I need to change his nappy first.”

“Eh? Do you change nappies that often? It says ‘twelve-hour absorption!’ on the packet.”

I pointed at the nappy packet and asked. Mizuki Kase narrowed her eyes teasingly.

“Wouldn’t you hate wearing a wet nappy all the time? You’d understand how uncomfortable it is, wouldn’t you? Being a girl?”

True.
　Unable to retort, I silently watched as Kase Mizuki undid the buttons between the legs of the light green romper suit Tasuku was wearing (I later learnt it was called a ‘romper’) and pulled it up to his tummy.

But when she actually reached for the tape to remove the nappy, I averted my gaze.

　Somehow, it felt like something I shouldn’t be watching.
I know I’m overthinking it, but still… Tasuku is a boy, after all.

After having his nappy changed, Tasuku beamed at me with a delighted smile.

“…Hey, could you show me how to hold him properly?”

When I asked that, as if starting over, Kase Mizuki looked at me, her eyebrows dipping slightly at the ends, as if slightly apologetic.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Like this, supporting him while holding him sideways…”

I lifted Tasuku up. He felt heavier than I’d imagined, quite substantial. Yet he seemed limp and warm.

This was the weight of a single human life. His limbs were slender, seeming easily breakable, which was a little frightening.

“Asami-san, if your arms get tired, you can put him down straight away, you know.”

“No, it’s fine. He’s light.”

“You’ll get tired holding him all the time. He’s nearly seven kilos now.”

What if, by some chance, he slipped and fell? He’d die. Along with the seven kilos, a sense of responsibility weighed heavily on both arms.

“Honestly, just lie down already.”

I said it firmly, trying not to let her see how slightly shaken I was. Perhaps sleepiness overcame her hesitation; she gave a small nod and lay down on the sofa.

I draped the blanket that had been over the backrest over her, and she slowly closed her eyes.

“…Thank you. My impression of you’s changed so much today, Asami-san. You really are kind.”

I stared at her as she spoke with her eyes shut. My gaze was fixed; I couldn’t look away from Kase Mizuki.

“…Well, I suppose so. I am a model student, after all.”

“Heh… There you go again. You don’t strike me as a model student, Asami-san…”

　I stared at her pale skin, then the nape of her neck, as she swayed awkwardly from side to side.

Calmly thinking it over, what on earth was this situation?

The rain showed no sign of letting up.

Enveloped by the sound of rain pelting against the windowpanes, I realised both Kase Mizuki and Tasuku had quietly fallen asleep.