Episode Eight: So, We Pass Each Other By Again Today ―March 2033―

After the study session ended and the other students had left, Uehara-san remained in the classroom as usual.

The conversation naturally turned to how to proceed with future study sessions.

“Now that it’s become so popular, we might need to think about how to deal with the increased number of students.”

“Yes. We absolutely don’t want to dampen the learning motivation or opportunities of students who genuinely wish to study.”

　Should we increase the number of study session days? Or implement a two-part system for students involved in club activities? However, this raised concerns that students attending the later sessions would have significantly later return times.

What would be the least burdensome yet most effective approach for the students? As I struggled to find a good solution immediately, Uehara-san murmured softly.

“…Don’t you mind, Sensei? Don’t you dislike the idea of your own workload increasing?”

“You mean increasing the number of study sessions? Well… that’s a perspective I hadn’t considered at all.”

I’d been racking my brains over how to increase them, but thoughts of disliking it, quitting, or eliminating the study sessions hadn’t crossed my mind in the slightest.

“I like that about you, Sensei.”

This sudden, direct expression of affection caught me off guard. Completely unprepared, I flinched visibly and could only try to hide it.

“Well, putting me aside… it must be wonderful that more students are developing an interest in Japanese and wanting to learn, right? That directly led to the increase in study group attendance.”

“No, no, Sensei. You’re being rather thick-skinned. The rise in study group attendance is down to your efforts, isn’t it?”

“…Did I do something?”

As I tilted my head, Uehara-san chuckled softly.

“To put it plainly, it’s like the world has finally noticed your charm?”

“That only makes it more confusing… Please don’t use such exaggerated phrasing.”

“Well, I was the first to notice your charm, though.”

“I’m at a loss for words…”

If phrases like “You’re clever” or “You’re diligent” could be taken as compliments, I’ve heard them countless times in my life.

　But equating the word ‘charm’ with myself? I simply cannot picture it.

“Then just say ‘Thank you, Uehara-san’ and carry on as usual, with this expression.”

“…Do I really look that composed? Honestly?”

As we laughed over trivial matters, Uehara-san suddenly clouded over.

“Ah, but… I suppose I might actually have a rather nasty temper.”

I blinked. I’d never once thought Uehara-san had a nasty temper.

“You shouldn’t put yourself down like that. You’re lovely, Uehara-san.”

“You’re saying that, Sensei? You were doing it just now yourself!”

Uehara-san seemed to be laughing to change the subject.

　But having gradually spent more time with Uehara-san, I’d grown somewhat attuned to the subtleties of her emotions.

I couldn’t understand other people at all, but when it came to Uehara-san… just Uehara-san…

“Please say what you truly think. I’ll listen properly.”

Whatever she said, I was prepared to hear it.

“Erm… then, promise you won’t back off, absolutely?”

　Nodding without hesitation, she paused briefly before murmuring.

“Earlier, I said ‘the world has noticed your charm’… but at the same time, I also thought ‘everyone has noticed your charm’. Being admired by so many students should be a good thing for you, right? …Am I being too possessive? Am I being a bit of a jerk?”

…I couldn’t say anything.

“When I think about you, I should be absolutely delighted, right? You were looking so down because you thought you weren’t popular. But… I just couldn’t be happy about it. I thought about you being discovered by everyone, about you not being just my teacher anymore. I’m awful, aren’t I?”

Even if I asked her why, it was difficult to agree with Uehara-san.

It wasn’t that I was backing away from Uehara-san. And certainly, I didn’t think she had a bad personality.

　It was… well, it was just so anticlimactic. I simply couldn’t fathom a single reason for her self-deprecation.

“No, not at all?”

My puzzled expression met Uehara-san’s wide, blinking eyes as our gazes met.

“…R-really? You don’t find it creepy that someone like me, who isn’t even your girlfriend, feels this way? Or think I’m a bad person?”

“No. As a teacher, why on earth would I dislike being admired by you?”

I felt as though I’d stated something as obvious as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. But how did Uehara-san take it? She slumped over her desk, exhaling a long “Haah…”

“…You know, Sensei… Nah, never mind.”

Uehara-san stopped mid-sentence, lifting only her face to look at me.

“What is it?”

“No, it’s fine. …As a teacher, huh…”

My ears caught her small voice, muttered almost like a soliloquy, but I pretended not to hear.

　I am cowardly. I absorb only the words that suit me, discarding those that don’t.

It might be called a technique I’ve acquired with age to live without hurting myself, but it undoubtedly hurts others.

Someone as perceptive as her would read my innermost thoughts, cutting even deeper.

Even though she was someone important to me, someone who affirmed me.

　Yes, without a doubt, you are important to me.

And yet, I choose ways that cause you sorrow.

—Must one’s position and title be safeguarded at the cost of hurting those dear to them?

If asked that, I would nod without hesitation.

Only, it is not to protect myself, but to protect her.

　The brightness of a high schooler’s future, brimming with hope, and the sheer number of choices available – these are things you cannot truly grasp while you are still part of that world. That is why the adults around them have a responsibility and an obligation to guide them.

For me, in that position – for me, an adult and a teacher – to prioritise my own desires is utterly selfish and presumptuous.

Precisely because she is important, I can do nothing. But if that too is condemned as an excuse, then so be it.

To her, saying “it can’t be helped” must seem like a dirty adult’s “escape”. Even if she can’t understand now that it was a means to protect someone precious, if she comes to understand it seven years from now, when she’s my age, then that will be enough.

One can live without falling in love.

But seventeen is far too young an age to lose everything.