Episode Sixty-One: Why Are You So Cute?
Our first date in so long, and I couldn’t stop my heart from floating.
After breakfast, I asked Yui-san to swing by my place first so I could change.
I wanted her to see the outfit I’d bought new, specifically for today. Worried she might find it a hassle, going out of her way to detour for that, I hurried through getting ready anyway — and once I got back to the car where she was waiting, she said, “cute,” and I felt, from the bottom of my heart, glad I’d bought something new for today.
*
After parking at the nearest lot, I pointed the way — “this way” — meaning to lead her to the shop, and Yui-san took my hand and laced our fingers together. Looking up, I found her smiling, happy.
“Yui-san, what’s with this hand…?”
Back in college we always walked hand in hand, and it’s not that I actually wanted her to let go. Pure embarrassment, nothing more — but whether she noticed that or not, Yui-san just looked at me, same as always.
“It’s a date, isn’t it? So it’s fine.”
“…I won’t be responsible if someone from your company sees.”
“That’s fine. I’ll just talk my way around it if it happens.”
Saying that so easily — does she really mean it’d be fine, even seen? I genuinely can’t figure Yui-san out.
I’d never once intended to shake off that hand, taken without hesitation, and I squeezed it back, tight, in return.
*
Learning that Yui-san had come to love tea, I’d decided, first thing, I absolutely had to introduce her to this shop.
Originally a long-established shop from England. Thankfully it has a tenant location in Japan too — a proper specialty tea shop. A favorite of mine since my London days, and I still stop by every time I go back.
Not limited to just tea, either — a huge selection, so I felt sure we’d find something to suit Yui-san’s taste.
“I had no idea tea came in this many varieties.”
“Yui-san, wasn’t it Earl Grey you liked?”
“Yeah, it smells so good. And I drink milk tea in the mornings too. Buy it from a shop.”
Hearing that, I remembered — Yui-san always carries a drink cup from that milk tea shop by the station whenever she heads into work.
“If you like milk tea, I’d recommend the Breakfast blend. I buy it here a lot myself.”
I picked up the familiar green tin. This tin design is so cute too. A bit pricier than the tea you’d casually grab at a supermarket, but — I still want to spend money on things I actually love. Because it really is delicious.
“Then I’ll try that one.”
Saying that, Yui-san picked up the tea I’d recommended without a moment’s hesitation.
“Come to think of it, do you have a teapot at home?”
I was pretty sure Yui-san’s house hadn’t had one, four years ago — had she bought one while I was gone? I asked, and Yui-san shook her head, side to side.
“Nope, don’t have one. Can I buy one here?”
“They sell them, but… it’s kind of pricey, you know? The tea sets here are so cute, I’ve always thought I’d love to own one someday, but it’s never quite been within reach…”
Even just the teacup-and-saucer set runs close to thirty thousand yen, so adding a pot on top would push it into genuinely absurd territory. A price range that took some nerve to commit to, for someone only in her second year working.
“I see. Then I’ll buy yours along with mine.”
“Eh,” I said, startled, and turned to her. But Yui-san had already left me behind, walking briskly toward the shelf where the tableware was displayed, and I hurried after her.
Picking up a small teapot from the shelf, decorated with a camellia design, Yui-san said, easygoing, “oh wow, it really is cute.”
Wait, Yui-san, please actually look at the price tag — I started to say, and thought better of it.
Right. Yui-san doesn’t have a sense of “a few tens of thousands of yen” as expensive.
Yui-san, fundamentally, doesn’t buy unnecessary things. Her house is always spotless and organized, spare, with few possessions.
Which is exactly why, once she’s decided she wants something, decided to buy it, she never spares a single yen.
That’s just who Yui-san is.
“Since we’re here, let’s match.”
Saying it with a bright, happy smile, something in my shoulders eased, unwound.
The offer to match genuinely, honestly made me happy. Every time I brewed tea at home, I’d surely think of Yui-san.
That might be nice too, I found myself thinking, drawn in.
“In that case… I’ll pay for my own.”
Matching is tempting, but I always end up letting Yui-san pay for everything, and it weighed on me to say so, and Yui-san shook her head.
“It’s fine. This is my thanks, for picking out the tea today.”
That’s an awfully expensive “thank you,” I thought — but in the end, with Yui-san absolutely refusing to let me pull out my wallet, I lost that fight, and ended up with the tea set I’d been longing for all this time.
*
“…Thank you. I’ve wanted this for so long, so I’m really happy.”
Once the purchase was done, I told her how grateful I was, and she looked at me, eyes narrowing, gentle.
“Anything else you want? It’s a special date, I’ll buy you anything.”
Spoiling me like that, so easily — unfair. If only I could just as easily say what I actually want right now, but that’s not something money can buy.
“…Your habit of spoiling people hasn’t changed one bit, has it, Yui-san. It’s a little worrying, honestly.”
I have no idea what Yui-san’s salary actually is, but even accounting for that, isn’t she spoiling me a little too much?
“That’s nothing new, is it? It’s only for you, so don’t worry about it.”
Good, it’d better only be for me. I’d hate it if Yui-san were kind to anyone but me. I’d hate it if she didn’t think only of me. I could never forgive it, not even a single millimeter of that heart tipping toward some other girl.
I gently took the hand not carrying bags and laced our fingers together. Yui-san’s eyes went wide, just slightly, startled.
“…Then, buy me cute loungewear. I’ll keep it at your place.”
Pressed close to her arm, asking like that, Yui-san squeezed my hand back, tight, and smiled, happy. “Sure, okay.”
*
I’d said one piece would be enough, and before I knew it, she’d bought two. Not cheap items at all, and yet she said, genuinely delighted, “because I want to see you wearing it.” Told something like that, all I can do is nod.
I’m weak to that smile of Yui-san’s. Because that gaze tells me, unmistakably, that she genuinely treasures me. That’s exactly why it makes me happy. I end up thinking — surely, I’m the only one who’s special.
By the time one of Yui-san’s hands was completely full of paper bags, the sky had gone properly dark.
After loading the packages into the trunk, we climbed into the car. I suddenly remembered — Yui-san had mentioned wanting a drink today.
“…Come to think of it, didn’t you say you wanted to drink today?”
Because I’d asked to change clothes, she’d ended up driving me all the way home first — I felt a small pang of guilt about it.
The engine started, and a cool breeze pushed through the lukewarm air, brushing my cheek.
“Next time’s fine. Two days in a row would be… I might not be able to hold back either.”
Hold back — from what? I tilted my head, and Yui-san said “never mind,” laughing it off.
*
Treated to dinner too, the car headed toward my apartment.
I want to stay together longer. I don’t want to go home. I couldn’t help that feeling, no matter what, and found myself wishing, absurdly, that every traffic light on the way would turn red.
“Come teach me how to brew tea properly sometime.”
“When work’s not busy, you go back to that house, right?”
“Yeah.”
The house where I lived with Yui-san for a little over a year. I want to go there again. Maybe the seal plushie I gave custody of to Yui-san is still there too.
“…Will summer get busier than now?”
“Might get busier than spring. There’s a new opening coming up too.”
Unlike me, Yui-san, as a company president, is busy. Plenty of business trips too, and while I’m genuinely happy she carves out precious time off just for me, I can’t help feeling a little guilty about it too.
“…Then it won’t be this easy to see each other casually, will it?”
I want to be an understanding woman, one who doesn’t say troublesome things — and yet my heart won’t allow it. Said in a faintly sulky voice, Yui-san laughed and shook her head.
“That’s not true. I can always make time. I’m not working twenty-four hours a day.”
“…Really? You’re not overdoing it?”
“Really. Actually, I’ve been thinking of bringing on a secretary starting this summer. That should ease the load a bit. Honestly, I think I’m about at my limit doing everything alone.”
“I see…”
A secretary, huh. Hearing that, something in my chest clouded over, just slightly, and I turned to look out the window, trying not to let it show on my face.
A woman, probably. I hope she’s not beautiful. Because she’d be with Yui-san constantly, wouldn’t she. Accompanying her on business trips too, probably. What if she turned out to be exactly Yui-san’s type, and — what if, by some terrible chance, she fell for her too…
I caught myself there. This kind of thing… probably isn’t good. It’s about work, and here I am, getting jealous over it, of all things.
The last traffic light before my apartment turned red, and the car eased to a gentle stop. In the quiet car, Yui-san spoke up, as if remembering something.
“Is there anywhere you want to go this summer?”
Yui-san, apparently without the faintest idea that I was jealous of a secretary who didn’t even exist yet, looked at me with such gentle eyes as she said it.
There are so many places I want to go. Too many, honestly.
I thought it over, just briefly, and then, looking straight into her eyes, said the one place I most wanted to go right now.
“…The aquarium.”
“The aquarium? Still love it, huh.”
Back in college, we’d only ever had the one summer together. But I still remember it vividly, even now. Going to see the orcas. The smell of that summer. The taste of the saltwater soaking my head. Every last bit of it, I remember. Because it was genuinely, truly fun.
“Once work settles down is fine… please take me.”
“Yeah, sure. I promise.”
The light turned green. Just a little further and we’d be at my place. I felt reluctant to let it end, but at least we’d made one more promise. That alone felt like enough, for now.
The car stopped beside my apartment. Trying, as much as I could, not to let her see how much I didn’t want to go home, I quietly undid my seatbelt.
“Thank you for today.”
“No, thank you. I had so much fun today.”
Saying that with a smile, Yui-san undid her own seatbelt too.
“I’ll grab your things.”
Getting out of the car, Yui-san took the tea set and the paper bag of loungewear from the trunk and handed them to me.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll keep the other set of loungewear at the house, so come stay over anytime.”
Saying that, Yui-san smiled, then reached out and gently, fondly, stroked my cheek.
Just from that light touch alone, my heart picked up its pace, ridiculously fast.
What is Yui-san thinking, right now? I… don’t want to go home. I want to stay together longer. That’s what I’m thinking.
Fighting to swallow back the words threatening to spill from my lips, I nodded, and Yui-san’s brows drew down, and she laughed, soft.
“…Kanata, why are you so cute? I don’t want to send you home. Want to stay over again tonight, after all?”
“Eh…?”
I could tell — Yui-san’s gaze had settled, fixed, on my lips, and, unbidden, my heart lurched.
Back in college, Yui-san would have kissed me without a second thought, I’m sure.
But now — those gentle black eyes just watch me, and never once try to touch.
And yet those lips keep saying things dripping with suggestion. Told things like that, I can’t help but hope. That she still loves me, even now.
But if that’s true, why won’t she just say it? Back then, Yui-san always told me she loved me, without fail.
The Yui-san of now is a tease.
Watching me fumble for words, Yui-san laughed, and then, just like that, her hand pulled away, easy.
“…Sorry, sorry, kidding. Don’t make that troubled a face.”
If only I could say it too — that I don’t want to go home either. She knows my personality so well, knows I could never say it myself — so why won’t she just pull my hand and take me with her?
I hate this about myself, unable to be honest.
“…Good night, Kanata.”
“…Good night, Yui-san.”
Unable to bring myself to say I wanted more time together, I walked, reluctant, toward my apartment.
Turning back right in front of the door, Yui-san was still standing outside the car, watching me, and she waved, smiling, so I waved back the same way.
*
Even after that whirlwind of a spring ended, I still loved you, exactly the same as ever. And since reuniting, that feeling’s only grown stronger, more and more, ready to spill over any moment now.
Summer’s coming again. This time, I want to spend that second summer we never got to have, back then, right by your side.
Please — I hope you feel the same way I do.
For now, all I could do was pray for exactly that.