Episode Forty-Two: You Seem Awfully Happy About Something, Yui-san
April. The school year changed, and I moved up to second year, Yui-san to fourth.
This past year felt like it flew by even faster than my whole year of high school. This year since meeting Yui-san has been the most fulfilling one I’ve ever had.
The harsh cold of winter had finally cleared out entirely, and a pleasant breeze now blew through, spring settling in properly.
I walked a step behind Yui-san as she pushed the shopping cart. The shelves were packed tight with liquor bottles and, without a moment’s hesitation, Yui-san dropped a familiar whiskey bottle into the basket.
This was a liquor shop near the house. Apparently one of Yui-san’s regular haunts, stocking all kinds of snacks and imported foods.
My first time here. That’s because I turn twenty in just a few days, and we’d come together today to buy the alcohol I’d be drinking.
According to Yui-san, since you never know at first how strong your own tolerance is, it’s better to get used to it drinking at home than at a bar.
“You probably can’t handle beer right out of the gate, I’d guess.”
“You think so?”
“Kanata, you hate bitter things, right?”
“…I do.”
“Something sweet’s probably better, then. Canned chu-hai for beginners, maybe?”
We passed through the aisle lined with bottles and headed toward the wall of chilled canned chu-hai.
I’d never really paid attention before, but there’s this many varieties of alcohol? Yui-san basically only ever drinks highballs, so I’d never had much reason to notice the canned chu-hai section.
“Pick whatever you like. No way to know what’ll suit you, so grab a few different ones.”
Following her instruction, I picked out a few at random. Peach, lemon, plum, grape. That should be enough. I probably won’t be able to drink much right from the start anyway.
“I’ll keep them in the fridge, but absolutely no drinking before your actual birthday, understood.”
Yui-san peered into my face and laughed. A few days early feels like it should fall within a reasonable margin of error, but sure.
“I know, I know.”
“Ahh, I can’t wait to actually drink with you, Kanata.”
Yui-san looked genuinely happy about it. If I’m honest, I felt a small flutter of excitement myself too. All this time watching movies together, I’ve never been able to drink — but that’s about to change.
I felt like, just a little, I’d finally caught up to Yui-san.
After putting the alcohol away in the fridge, I settled into my usual spot between Yui-san’s legs on the sofa and switched on the projector.
Once I confirmed her arm had settled firmly around my stomach, I pressed the Netflix button on the remote.
“What should we watch today?”
“What do you want to watch, Kanata?”
“You can pick, for once, Yui-san.”
I said it and pressed the remote into her left hand. If I don’t say something like that, she always tries to prioritize me first, every time.
“Really? Then… Kanata, have you seen this one?”
I looked toward the title displayed on the screen. I’d heard of it, but never actually watched it. I only really started enjoying movies after moving in with Yui-san.
I never used to have a habit of watching films before that.
“Never seen it.”
I shook my head, side to side, and Yui-san said, then let’s go with this, and hit play.
“The lead actress is really cute.”
“Oh… really.”
What’s that supposed to mean. A little annoying to hear. Maybe she noticed the displeasure creeping into my voice, because the arm around me tightened, firm.
“Obviously, you’re cuter, Kanata.”
“…Saying that like an afterthought doesn’t make me happy.”
“I mean it, genuinely. You’re the cutest in the world.”
She said it and kissed my cheek, gentle. I’d been in a bad mood, and yet being told something like that so easily talks me right back around — I really am hopeless, I think.
The movie started. It’s true, the lead actress is cute. But Yui-san says I’m number one. Not that there’s any point getting jealous of someone on a screen, but still.
“Your birthday’s coming up soon. What do you want for a present? I’ll buy anything you like.”
“Anything? Hmm, what would be good…”
Asked that, only one thing comes to mind. I want Yui-san. Nothing else. But I can’t say that, so I actually think it over, seriously.
I already got a necklace, and if the plushies pile up any more, they’ll start ruining the clean, minimal look of Yui-san’s room.
“Nothing you want? A bag, jewelry, anything at all?”
Yui-san’s sense of money is on a completely different scale from mine. The way she wears high-end brands so effortlessly is probably just because she has that natural elegance to begin with.
Watching the movie absently while thinking it over, my eyes landed on the glinting earrings the lead actress was wearing.
Come to think of it, Yui-san’s always wearing different earrings too, and I’ve always thought they looked lovely. I’d figured getting my ears pierced sounded painful and kept putting it off, but maybe this is a good opportunity.
“Then, earrings…”
“Earrings? Kanata, are your ears even pierced?”
She tucked my hair behind my ear and peered in close. Her fingertip pinched gently at my earlobe, ticklish.
“I was thinking of getting them pierced.”
“Really? Get it done properly at a clinic, okay?”
“Can’t I just use the ones sold at the pharmacy?”
“Safer to do it properly. They can numb it too, and it’d be awful if your cute ears got all swollen.”
Oh, I didn’t know that. But that makes it sound a lot less scary. Something in me eased, just slightly.
Her fingers, tracing gently over my earlobe, pulled away, and then, suddenly, her lips pressed close, and my body jolted.
“H-hold on, Yui-san…! Geez, that’s ticklish.”
“Earrings, huh. I’m not sure whether to be pleased or feel a bit conflicted.”
“Why? You wear them too, Yui-san.”
“Take them off once you’re home, okay? Makes it harder to kiss like this.”
Yui-san knows perfectly well my ears are sensitive, and doing this anyway is genuinely bad of her. Not that I actually hate it, but it really is ticklish.
“You always turn everything into that kind of comment… Please pick out something nice for my earrings.”
“Sure. Hmm, I think an Alhambra piece would suit you.”
“Al-ham…?”
Some unfamiliar word reached me, and I tilted my head, and behind me, Yui-san laughed, soft.
“No, never mind. I’ll book us a present and a nice dinner.”
“Cake at home is plenty, you know?”
“No, no, it’s a special twentieth birthday, let me actually celebrate it properly.”
The arm around me tightened. I’m happy she wants to celebrate.
Back when I first returned to Japan, I never imagined college life could turn out to be this much fun.
I wish these ordinary days, spent curled up together like this, could just keep going forever.
She nuzzled at my neck, and I tilted my head back slightly to look at her.
Our eyes met, and Yui-san smiled, narrowing her eyes gently.
Then our lips met, soft.
Amazing, really — without a single word from me, Yui-san always seems to know exactly what I want.
I love her so much. I want to stay together forever. If it could actually happen, not just until graduation — but for however long after that too.
＊＊＊
As a kid, each individual day leading up to my birthday felt impossibly long, unbearably slow to wait through. But now, days pass by so quickly there’s barely a moment to feel that anticipation at all.
Tomorrow, I turn twenty.
Nothing’s really going to change, if I’m honest. If anything, I suppose being able to drink is about the only real difference.
Talking to my father on the phone recently, he’d sounded genuinely disappointed we couldn’t celebrate together.
*
After my last class of the day ended, I said goodbye to Yuuri and walked through the university courtyard toward the station.
Cherry blossoms were scattering, beautiful, on the breeze, and I found myself admiring them when a familiar figure caught my eye, sitting on a bench in front of the fountain.
—Wait, is that Yui-san?
Sitting with her legs crossed, a girl sat unusually close beside her.
Yui-san, absorbed in her phone, didn’t seem to be paying her any attention, but the girl was tugging at the sleeve of her right arm, apparently pressing some point.
A bad feeling crept over me. An unpleasant, scorching sensation spread, slow, through my chest.
“Hey, come on, Yui. Come over to my place right now.”
“No thanks. I’ve got plans today.”
“You always say that. You never hang out with me at all anymore.”
“You promised not to say things that get complicated, didn’t you?”
From the flow of the conversation, it was clear this girl wasn’t just a “friend.” My first time actually seeing one of Yui-san’s “playmates.”
A cute girl. Watching the way they talked, maybe a classmate of Yui-san’s — meaning, a fellow senior.
Somehow, she looked a little like the lead actress from the movie we’d watched the other night. Which meant — exactly Yui-san’s type.
“You know, ever since you started living with that underclassman girl, you’ve gotten so bad about hanging out…”
“Really? Isn’t that just your imagination?”
“I’m getting kind of jealous, honestly.”
I know eavesdropping isn’t good. But my feet wouldn’t move from that spot.
“Being jealous doesn’t really help me any.”
Anger built, steadily, hotter. I could tell, roughly, that Yui-san wasn’t interested in her — but then why were they even together?
Tomorrow’s my birthday. She said she’d celebrate with me. So why is she with some other girl right now?
Infuriating. Yui-san, you idiot. Pervert. Skirt-chaser.
Furious, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and tapped my call history. Selected the name right at the top.
If you ignore my call now, you know what that means, right?
After a few rings, with a small delay, the phone still in Yui-san’s hand started ringing.
“Ah.”
“Eh, who is it? A call? Some other girl?”
The girl beside her frowned, displeased. Yui-san, ignoring her, held up a hand to stop her.
“Sorry, quiet a sec.”
A short delay, and the ringing stopped.
“Hello, Kanata?”
“You seem awfully happy about something, Yui-san.”
“Whoa!”
I hung up and spoke right from beside her, and Yui-san jolted upright, startled, spine snapping straight.
“K-Kanata…!?”
Yui-san scrambled up, shaking off the girl still clinging to her right arm, standing.
“Y-you startled me. Why are you here? Since when?”
Like she’d been caught mid-affair, unable to hide her rattled nerves, Yui-san’s eyes darted, restless.
I glared at her with everything I had. Conveying it purely through my eyes. You — cheater.
At that, the girl, having had her arm shaken off, glanced at me, unimpressed, then stood and grabbed Yui-san’s right arm tight again.
“Is this maybe the underclassman living with Yui? Hmm, so are you two dating?”
She looked me over, head to toe, sizing me up, and it wasn’t fun to be scrutinized like that.
“We’re not dating. Kanata’s not like you, so don’t say anything weird.”
I understood exactly why she’d said that — to protect me, to keep rumors from spreading. I understood it, but it still made me furious.
“Really? Such a waste, living together and not even sleeping with Yui. She’s really good at it, you know.”
I could tell Yui-san was breaking out in a cold sweat. I felt something in the pit of my stomach turning cold, calm.
Anger, jealousy — apparently, once they pass a certain point, a person just gets eerily calm.
“Lately Yui hasn’t been paying me any attention at all, so I figured maybe you’d gotten a girlfriend. If not, are you still mad about the biting thing?”
She said it, gently stroking Yui-san’s shoulder.
I recognized it. That shoulder. That distinct bite mark. That wound, from back then — it had been from this person.
Something snapped, sharp, inside my head. Everything in front of me went red.
“Hey, that’s enough, seriously…”
Right as Yui-san, unable to bear it, tried to stop her, my body moved on its own.
I grabbed the front of Yui-san’s shirt and yanked her toward me. Rising on my toes to reach someone so much taller than me, I bit down hard on her lips.
“Ow…!”
A sharp crash rang out, something falling, breaking. I released her lips, then shoved her chest, hard.
“Wha— eh…?”
Stumbling back two or three steps, Yui-san stared at me, blank, unable to process what had just happened.
She touched the lip I’d just bitten, then dropped her gaze to the phone that had fallen at her feet.
She’d apparently dropped it out of shock, and just now, that unpleasant crack of a sound had been the screen shattering.
I don’t care. Because this is entirely Yui-san’s own fault.
“…You idiot, Yui-san.”
I glared at her, still frozen, stunned, and then spun on my heel and bolted, fleeing.
Furious. Seeing red. I already knew — but I never wanted to actually see it.
That girl knows a Yui-san I don’t know.
She’s connected to Yui-san, far more deeply than I ever have.
I felt like I’d lost, and it stung, unbearably, more than I could stand.
From heaven straight to hell. The last day of being nineteen was shaping up to be the worst day of my life.