Episode Seventeen
“I’m staying at Fuuka’s this weekend. I’m making curry for tomorrow, so heat it up and eat it.”
I delivered the announcement one-sidedly to Dad, who was staring intently at his phone, and swung my backpack onto my shoulder.
“Got it. Don’t cause trouble for her family. You staying home for the long weekend?”
“Not sure. Haven’t decided anything.”
“Me and your mum are both working, so why not go out somewhere with Ao-chan? I’ll cover spending money if you need it.”
“…I’ll think about it.”
Living with Ao and Shiho-san — it’s nearly been a month now. Apparently Golden Week starts this weekend, somehow. So much has happened that my sense of time’s gone strange, but it’s already May.
I wonder what Ao’s doing over the holiday. She has so many friends, she might be out of the house every single day. That would be easier on me, but I didn’t much want to think about her enjoying herself somewhere I knew nothing about.
“Hey, isn’t Ao-chan coming down kind of late?”
“Hm? Maybe so, but…”
She’s serious, but she has her unpredictable moments too. Some mornings she’s up at the same time as me, happily watching me pack lunches. Other mornings she’s still not up by the time I leave the house. Some days she invites me to walk to school together, other days she sees me off without a word.
The way she’s hard to read might be a bit cat-like.
“I’ll check on her, just in case. I’m heading out.”
I said that and headed to Ao’s room, backpack still on.
“Morning. You up?”
“…Mornin’. Just woke up.”
A drowsy, fresh-from-sleep voice came back through the door. A half-asleep Ao is too much stimulation for me, so I’d rather get to school before she comes out of her room. Even just her muffled voice through the door is enough to set my heart going.
“G— good. I’m heading out now, don’t be late.”
“…have a good one~”
I caught the unusually drawn-out voice at my back, settled my backpack again, and set off for school.
I wouldn’t say I’ve gotten used to it, but I think I can talk to Ao more normally now than I could a little while ago. Maybe it’s time we started walking to school together… but I’m not sure. If she did something to tease me on the way, I doubt I’d absorb a single lesson all day, and the prying from people around us is its own kind of trouble.
But I do want to try it. I’ve imagined walking to school with Ao more times than I could count.
Head full of Ao the whole way there, I went to the student council room for quiet self-study, then to the classroom. I’ve gotten used to this kind of life by now, but how much longer will it go on for?
It was only Thursday, but the classroom already had that pre-holiday air about it.
I finished lunch with Fuuka, who seemed in an unusually good mood, and was getting ready for the afternoon lessons when I glanced over at Ao’s seat and found her gone. Her bag, usually hanging from the side of her desk, was nowhere either. Class was about to start, and it didn’t seem like her to skip.
While the teacher, looking sleepy, made their way into the room, I worked my phone under the desk where no one would see.
I wrote, deleted. Wrote, deleted. It was only meant to be a single line, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to press send.
Was I being overprotective? But Ao had never skipped class before, and surely a little worry wasn’t unreasonable. After all, I’m her older sister.
Playing at being family only when it’s convenient like this feels horribly ugly of me. I wish I could decide clearly whether I want to be her sister, or something closer than that.
Is something wrong — you weren’t in your seat, so it had me a little worried.
Oh — if there’s something you don’t want to talk about, you don’t have to say.
I just got a little worried, that’s all.
Heavy.
I hadn’t thought anything of it while writing, but looking back at the three lines now, they felt oddly heavy.
It didn’t show as read right away, so I put my phone away and looked up at the blackboard. Part of me wanted to focus on the lesson ahead of exams, part of me wanted to react the instant Ao replied. Caught between the two, I copied my notes more carefully than usual, in case she needed to copy from them later.
Even after the final lesson ended, there was still no reply from Ao. What if she’d been caught up in some kind of incident. What if she’d collapsed somewhere. The imagined scenarios, none of them grounded in anything, kept inflating in my head.
I scanned the classroom, already in its pre-holiday winning-lap mood, and called out to the model-like back of a girl heading for the door.
“Ashiura-san, good work today. Could I get a moment?”
“President? What’s up?”
Her hair, cut neatly at shoulder length, swung elegantly as she turned. Her composed, grown-up looks never quite seem to match someone our age, however many times I see her.
“Um, did— did Ao, I mean, Nagai-san go home early today?”
“Ao? Yeah, she said she felt unwell and left during lunch. Want me to pass anything along?”
“Th— that’s… okay.”
“No, it’s fine. Nothing urgent.”
“Sorry for asking out of nowhere. See you.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? Just message me if anything comes up, I’ll keep an eye on it.”
I gave an awkward wave to Ashiura-san, who tilted her head in mild confusion, and hurried out of the classroom.
If she felt unwell she should have just told me right away. She sends photos and presses up against me at all the moments I’m not asking for it, and then refuses to lean on me the one time it actually matters. The irritation kept building.
Not asking for it — maybe that’s putting it a bit strongly.
I wove through the students filing out of school and ran the whole familiar route home.
The house I knew so well finally came into view, and I slowed my tangling legs to a walk, breathing hard with my hands on my knees. Even breathing in deeper than usual, I couldn’t seem to get enough air. I’ve never been any good at sports, and running especially, so I was completely out of breath.
“I’m home!”
I threw my backpack down in the dim entryway and pushed open the living room door. No Ao at the table, none on the sofa. I fought down the urge to collapse, ran up the stairs, and my hand froze on the doorknob just as I went to force it open.
Was I really allowed to open this door. If she was sick in bed, opening it might wake her. Maybe it was better to leave her be until she checked her phone. But if she was too unwell even to check her phone or leave her room—
“Onee-cha— cough”
“Ao!?”
The thin voice through the door had me throwing it open before I could think.
There was Ao, lying in bed, smiling faintly. My own ragged breathing spilled into her room — the first time I’d ever set foot in it.
The room was simpler than I’d expected, surprisingly so. She’d fall asleep in her uniform and it would crease. A dozen unrelated thoughts crossed my mind at once.
“Sorry, sorry. Just feeling a bit under the weather.”
“Didn’t want to pass it on, so I figured I’d just sleep it off.”
Ao pushed herself half-upright in bed, eyebrows drawn down apologetically, smiling.
“…Are you really okay? I heard you went home early and it scared me.”
“Huh. You were worried about me?”
“Of course I was.”
I looked away from Ao’s still-soft expression and let my shoulders drop. She could still manage to joke around, so she had to be in better shape than I’d feared.
“Well, never mind that. Can you manage to eat something? I’ll make rice porridge if you don’t have an appetite.”
“And — did you take any medicine? Actually, wait, did I even tell you where it’s kept?”
“Oh, right. I’ll leave my notes here, copy them whenever you’re feeling better. Anything else—”
I dropped my gaze to her neatly organised desk, turning things over in my head, when a small, stifled laugh reached my ears.
“What is it?”
“You’re being kind of like a mum.”
“What?”
A third option, neither sister nor lover, seemed to be quietly taking shape.
“Thanks for worrying about me so much. I already took the medicine, and I think I’ll manage dinner.”
“I’ll sleep a bit more, so go ahead and eat without me.”
With that, Ao settled her head against the pillow and closed her eyes, looking comfortable. The black hair spread across the white duvet caught my eye in an odd way.
“Got it. Message me right away if anything happens. I’ll keep my phone on.”
I closed the curtain that had been left open by her pillow. Looking up at me, her shirt had one more button undone than usual.
I held back the gaze that had nearly been pulled there and handed her the neatly folded loungewear that had been waiting.
“Change so it doesn’t crease.”
“I’m too wobbly to change by myself, maybe. Want to help me change?”
I shoved the clothes at Ao, who was smirking, and turned my back to her.
“I’ll bring something to drink later. Think about anything else you might want.”
I ignored her complaining and closed the door behind me without looking back.
At least she seemed to be in decent spirits. She’d probably worn herself out adjusting to this new life, and I should be more careful too. She’d said she could manage eating, but something light was probably the better call. I wanted to pick up some sports drink as well, so I decided to head to the supermarket to put together a proper menu for her.