Episode 52
There’s no way. That can’t be right.
No way, right…?
“Haha…”
A sound slipped out of me despite being in the middle of class.
I felt the classmate beside me glance over, and I hurried to look back down at my notebook as though nothing had happened.
I kept clicking the top of my mechanical pencil, pushing the lead back in, over and over.
The teacher’s voice flowed steadily into my ears, and none of it registered in my head at all.
Do I like Morishita…?
No, no.
There’s no way.
It’s true that Morishita is cute, and kind in her own roundabout way, and I’ve come to trust her because we spend so much time together.
Even so, not romantically. That’s not it.
But when I remember that night, the kiss where our warmth mixed together, my heart starts hammering.
My face felt like it was boiling over, and I fanned it with my clear file to push some air toward my face.
The true shape of what I feel toward Morishita.
What on earth is this?
I’d been agonising over this unidentified feeling.
Even though I’m a student preparing for exams, I lost nearly a whole hour thinking about almost nothing but Morishita.
On top of that, after school I had to get through all sorts of preparations for the student council handover. Already short on study time as it was, I’d gone and wasted even more of it.
“Na-noha!”
Yudzuki dropped into the seat in front of me with a thud and reached for my hair.
I brushed her hand away.
Despite that cold reaction, Yudzuki kept smiling, looking pleased about it, which unsettled me a little.
Yudzuki’s been like this lately.
She’s started touching me more freely than before, without hesitation, and I’ve started swatting her away without much concern either.
It’s better than that strange atmosphere from before, but I still find myself confused about how to handle her.
On top of that, there aren’t many friends in class I can be around without expending effort, so being with her is basically my only option.
I’d decided her aggressive skinship was, barely, within acceptable limits.
“Speaking of which, do you have someone you like, Yudzuki?”
“Wha?! Someone I like?!”
“No, I mean, you’re popular, but I’ve never heard of you having a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
“That’s, well…”
A moment ago she’d been composed, and now she suddenly shrank into herself, small and fidgeting, opening and closing her mouth as though trying to say something and not managing it.
It looked exactly like the version of me thinking about Morishita, and it gave me a small sense of relief, that maybe everyone gets like this when the topic turns to romance.
“…I do.”
“Eh, really?! What’s that like?!”
I asked with enough volume that I drew attention from all four corners of the classroom without meaning to. Yudzuki’s face went bright red, and she pressed a finger to her lips.
“Nanoha, your voice.”
“Sorry, I just…”
“It’s rare for you to take an interest in romance, Nanoha.”
“Is it?”
I don’t think that’s true.
I read shoujo manga, I read romance novels, and honestly I think I’m the type who dreams of having a wonderful encounter, a love like that, happen to me.
Right.
I’ve always longed for the kind of romance you see in stories.
Thinking about it that way, I arrived even more firmly at the conclusion that there was no way I could like Morishita.
While I sat there frowning, deep in thought, Yudzuki reached out and touched my furrowed brow again. Because she kept doing that, the tension between my eyebrows only deepened further.
Maybe she finally flinched seeing my expression, because Yudzuki pulled her hand back.
“You wanted to know what it’s like, right? When I’m in front of the person I like, my heart pounds hard, and I end up wanting to tease them so they’ll pay more attention to me.”
“Hmm.”
“You asked, and now you sound completely uninterested?”
“No, that’s not it.”
I’d been desperately trying to work out how I actually feel when I’m in front of Morishita, and my attention toward Yudzuki’s words had slipped.
“So, what’s this person you like actually like?”
“Are you doing that on purpose, Nanoha?”
“What? On purpose?”
Yudzuki’s shoulders dropped in visible disappointment.
It’s rare for her to look this deflated, and it gave me a small, smug sense of victory.
Yudzuki lifted her face and looked at me, her eyes wavering, unfocused.
She reached out again and wound her fingers into my hair.
“Someone who hates losing, and who’s a little clumsy.”
“That doesn’t sound like it has any good points at all.”
“I think the parts of them that aren’t perfect are beautiful.”
What was that supposed to mean?
What Yudzuki was saying was so vague I couldn’t grasp any of it.
This is exactly why it’s exhausting trying to understand what clever people mean.
Here too, I felt the gap between Yudzuki and me being put on display, and it left me with an unpleasant feeling.
“And, someone with a nice face.”
“I see.”
“Take a bit more interest in me, would you?”
To begin with, dating someone with a better face than Yudzuki felt nearly impossible, she’s that good-looking herself.
She kept touching my hair, sticky as ever, and since I wasn’t getting a straight answer out of her, I was glaring at her when someone crashed into me from behind with a thud.
“Aren’t you two giving off a really good atmosphere?!”
It seemed Hinata had arrived.
Behind Hinata were Morishita and Suzuki Ran, and without meaning to I knocked Yudzuki’s hand away. But the moment our eyes met, Morishita turned her face away, unmistakably deliberate.
“Can we borrow your science textbooks? Me and Mei-chan forgot ours.”
“Sure.”
I stood up immediately, pulled the textbook from my locker, and pressed it into Morishita’s hands. Everyone watched the exchange with visible curiosity, and cold sweat broke out on me. I quickly urged Yudzuki to lend hers too, and Morishita and the others headed off toward the science room.
“Nanoha, you’ve changed…”
“Changed?”
“Yeah…”
Yudzuki just kept looking at me with a forlorn expression.
I don’t know exactly what’s changed, but if my personality has shifted, it’s definitely Morishita’s fault, and I want someone to go complain to her about it.
“Nanoha, you’ll watch the fireworks this year too, with me and Hinata, right?”
“Eh…”
Right, that season’s already coming around.
I’d completely forgotten.
Seeing my delayed reaction, Yudzuki’s expression turned sharp.
Sensing that this wasn’t good, I answered reflexively.
“Of course.”
“I see. Good.”
My answer brightened Yudzuki’s face at once. Meanwhile, my own mood, for some reason, sank.
If I asked Morishita to watch them together, would she actually come to the fireworks festival?
No matter how much I begged, or threatened, she doesn’t seem like the type who’d come.
I’d already made a promise to Yudzuki, and yet here I was thinking something this foolish, and I scolded myself for it.