Episode 38: What Nana Wanted Most

I can hear birds chirping.
It’s morning, and soft light is streaming through the gap in the curtains.

I feel a soft, ticklish sensation on my cheek and wake up.

　Through my blurred vision, I see my favourite black hair. And against my bare skin, the warmth of a body that isn’t my own, pressed close against me.

It’s not a dream. Even now that I’m awake, Mitsuki is still in my arms.

A wave of happiness washes over me, and I hug Mitsuki tightly as she sleeps with her cheek pressed against my chest.

“Mmm…”

Mitsuki let out a soft groan, then slowly blinked her long lashes before opening her eyes.
Her drowsy, unfocused gaze and the way her fringe bounced up were so cute that I pressed my lips against her round forehead, which is usually hidden.

“Mmm, Nana…?”

“Good morning, Mitsuki.”

“Good morning…”

I couldn’t help but smile at her sweet, hoarse voice, which sounded a bit dazed, and hugged her tightly once more.

“Nana, that hurts… I’m still sleepy…”

“If you don’t get up soon, Mum will come and wake you. It’ll be a disaster if she finds us.”

“Aaaah. Nana, you’re moving out on your own next month, yet you still get your mum to wake you up?”

“I’m just rubbish at getting up in the morning.”

“Hehe, well then… maybe I’ll give you a wake-up call every day, just for you, Nana, who can’t get up on your own~”

I pulled Mitsuki’s round shoulders close to me as she giggled, and rubbed my cheek against hers.

Ah, I’m so happy.
　I wish these wonderful days spent with Mitsuki could go on forever.

“Mitsuki~. I feel like I’m still in a dream. It’s almost scary to go to sleep. I feel like I’ll wake up every day and worry, ‘What if this was all just a dream?’”

“You’re such a worrier, Nana. Come on, it’s not a dream, you know.”

Mitsuki laughed and tapped the tip of my nose lightly with her index finger.

“I’ve got endless worries… There was that thing with Yamato-kun, too… Oh, come to think of it, what were you actually doing that day!? You still haven’t explained it to me!”

When I pointed this out, ignoring the fact that I hadn’t been listening myself, Mitsuki pulled a sulky face, clearly displeased.

“Weren’t you the one who wouldn’t listen to me? Look, that day, Yamato was helping me redecorate.”

“Redecorate?”

“Yes. Tasuku’s walking now, so I took down the playpen and replaced it with a safety gate, moved the sofa, put the cot away… We don’t have any men in the house, so I thought I’d ask Yamato for a hand.”

“Oh, so that’s what it was…”

“But come to think of it, I wasn’t considerate enough, was I? I’m sorry. I’ll make sure I don’t meet Yamato alone anymore. If there’s anything that makes you anxious, no matter how small, please tell me. Let’s sort these things out one by one, shall we?”

Mitsuki said this gently, but my childish jealousy suddenly made me feel anxious, was it really right of me to take an important friend away from her?
I don’t want to isolate Mitsuki.
I wish I could be a bit more relaxed and manage my feelings better. It seems a bit too difficult for me right now.

“Even so, I feel a bit bad for Yamato-kun…”

“But you don’t like it, do you, Nana?”

“Well… yeah, I don’t.”

“Then I won’t meet him alone. Don’t worry, I’m not cutting ties with him, Yamato’s my childhood friend, after all. If I tell him I’ve got a girlfriend, he’ll understand.”

As if to blow my worries away, Mitsuki spread her arms wide towards me and smiled.

“Come on, Nana. I’ll give you a big hug. So you don’t feel anxious anymore, I’ll never, ever let you go!”

As she pressed herself against my chest and I felt that soft, squishy sensation against my cheek, my emotions were all over the place, but I closed my eyes and managed to push those thoughts aside, then hugged Mitsuki back.

‘…Oh, I wish we could stay like this forever. Why on earth did I apply to a university in Tokyo? I don’t want to leave Mitsuki’s side…’

　It’s all my own fault, though.
I never imagined we’d end up in a long-distance relationship.

Seeing me slump my shoulders, Mitsuki laughed out loud, looking delighted, so, puzzled, I looked up at her.

‘Mitsuki, why are you laughing? Did I say something strange?’

Mitsuki grinned mischievously, narrowing her round, cat-like eyes.

“Nnn-no. It’s not that… I won this contest, didn’t I?”

“Eh? Won what? Were we even having a contest?”

“No, never mind. It’s just that I love you too, Nana!”

I groaned but accepted Mitsuki’s body as she threw her weight onto me and hugged me without mercy.
“Oh, come on, I wish you’d get dressed soon,” I thought to myself.

“Hey, Mitsuki… I’m definitely coming back once I graduate from uni. So, please wait for me. Even if we’re apart for four years.”

“Nah, I won’t wait.”

“Eh!?”

Mitsuki said it so casually with a childlike expression that I was flustered by the unexpected reply and let out a ridiculous squeal.

“Eh, eh, eh, you won’t wait for me?”

　Mitsuki, still perched on my lap, stared down at me intently before gently cupping my cheeks with both hands.

‘I’ll go to Tokyo. I’ll follow you, Nana. By then, Tasuku will have grown up too. Let’s live together in a place where nobody knows us. You see, wherever you go, Nana, I’ll follow you, no matter how far. Because I simply can’t imagine a life without you anymore.’

　Caught off guard by this unexpected proposal, I found myself gaping at Mitsuki with my mouth hanging open.

“Hey, Nana. …I’ve finally found the answer to what you wanted most. So this time, please don’t reject me, take everything I have.”

As Mitsuki said this with an innocent smile, my vision began to blur.
　Just as I felt myself on the verge of tears again, Mitsuki gently tapped my forehead with her index finger, as if massaging it.

“Hehe, you’re such a crybaby, Nana.”

“I’m not crying yet…!”

Lately, I’ve been showing Mitsuki nothing but my most pathetic side.
But Mitsuki is Mitsuki, after all. This isn’t the sort of thing you say whilst completely naked, is it? It’s practically a marriage proposal!
　I didn’t quite know where to look, so I couldn’t help but avert my gaze from Mitsuki as if to avoid the situation.

‘…Mitsuki, don’t stay naked forever, get some clothes on!’

‘Eh~? You’re the one who made me take them off last night. You’re such a tease, Nana.’

‘…I’ve been thinking this for a while, but Mitsuki, you’ve been teasing me way too much lately. You’re so cheeky!’

　I pushed her shoulders and flipped her over, then pulled the duvet over her head with a whoosh.

“Eek! Come on, Nana, don’t be angry!”

I hugged Mitsuki tightly from under the duvet as she giggled happily.

Honestly, I’m no match for Mitsuki. I’m completely at her mercy. I have a feeling I’ll be dancing to her tune for the rest of my life.
　But that’s fine. Because I love Mitsuki more than anyone else in the whole world.

＊＊＊

Those fleeting, sweet moments of everyday life passed in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it, March was drawing to a close.

The morning of my departure had finally arrived. After checking that I hadn’t forgotten anything, I was putting on my trainers in the hall when Mum called out to me from behind, sounding worried.

‘Nana, are you sure you don’t want Mummy to come with you? Do you know how to get on the Shinkansen? You really don’t have to go on your own…’

‘I know how to get on the Shinkansen. Besides, Mitsuki’s seeing me to the ticket gate, so I’ll be fine.’

‘Is that so…? Sigh… I’m going to miss you so much, I could cry. Nana, if anything happens, come straight back home, won’t you? And if you’re in any trouble, you must ring me at any time.’

“I’ll be fine. I’ll ring you as soon as I get there. Right then, I’m off.”

“Take care, Nana. Have a safe journey.”

“Okay.”

As I stepped out of the front door, I walked towards the station with a light step, pulling my suitcase behind me.

The cherry blossoms haven’t bloomed here yet, but I hear they’re already in full bloom in Tokyo. It feels a bit strange, doesn’t it? I wonder if Tokyo really is that warm.

　From the day of the graduation ceremony until now, I’ve been popping round to see Mitsuki all the time.

Although our university lives in our respective places might not be exactly what we’d hoped for, strangely enough, my anxiety has faded away.
Of course, I’ll miss not being able to see Mitsuki, but we’ll speak on the phone every day, I’ll come home once a month, and there are long holidays too… I’m sure it’ll be fine.

‘Nana!’

In front of the large stained-glass window in the centre of the station, Mitsuki was waiting for me just as we’d agreed.

‘Mitsuki, sorry, did I keep you waiting?’

‘No, it’s fine, I haven’t been waiting at all. Oh! More importantly, Nana, you’ve dyed your hair again, haven’t you? Yeah, it suits you really well. It looks much more natural this way.’

‘Really? Thanks.’

　My hair, which I’d dyed black for my entrance exams and graduation ceremony, had returned to its original brown.
I’m a university student now, so I’m free to dye my hair whatever colour I like, but I really wish Mitsuki wouldn’t. I absolutely love Mitsuki’s black hair.
But I kept that little wish to myself and simply took Mitsuki’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Mitsuki, thanks for coming. Seeing your face has suddenly made it feel real that we’re going to be apart. ……I’m going to miss you.”

“I know…… Though it’s all because of your jumping to conclusions, isn’t it?”

“Ugh…… That’s…… I’m sorry. I’ll spend my whole life making it up to you……”

“Eh, your whole life? Hehe, well then, do just that. That means you’ll stay by my side for the rest of your life, right? It’s a promise.”

When I apologised sincerely, Mitsuki smiled happily.

　Still holding hands, we took the escalator up to the third floor of the station where the Shinkansen platform was.
I stared intently at Mitsuki’s back as she walked ahead of me, as if trying to burn the image into my memory.

Ugh, I don’t want to be apart from her. My grip on her hand tightened.

We reached the top of the escalator, and finally the ticket gates came into view.
There was only a little time left until departure. A sudden wave of loneliness welled up from deep within my chest.

　Oh, if only time would just stop right here. Or better still, I’d like to just whisk Mitsuki away with me.

But if I did that, Tasuku would probably get angry with me. With that thought lingering in the back of my mind, I stood a little way from the ticket gates and held Mitsuki’s hand, chatting about all sorts of things for as long as time allowed.
I etched her face and voice firmly into my memory so I would never forget them.

　As I did so, the time for our parting approached mercilessly, and I caught my breath.
Before we said goodbye, there was something I had to do. The present I’d failed to give Mitsuki at Christmas, if I was going to give it to her, now was the only chance.

‘Nana, is it nearly time?’

Perhaps noticing me staring at my watch, Mitsuki muttered quietly, looking a little sad.

‘…Yeah. …Listen, Mitsuki. Do you remember what we talked about on the eve of the Tanabata festival?’

‘Huh?’

When I asked her that out of the blue, Mitsuki looked up at me and tilted her head.
I let go of her hand, took out the small white box I’d been secretly keeping in my pocket, and placed it in her hand.

‘To be honest, I was actually planning to give you this on Christmas Day. But I couldn’t… I’m sorry. …And Mitsuki, congratulations again on getting into university.’

‘Nana, this…’

‘These are matching earrings. You said you’d get your ears pierced when you started university, didn’t you? Oh, but if you’re scared, you don’t have to force yourself. If that’s the case, we’ll go and buy something else to match. Even when we’re apart, I’ll always be thinking of you. This is proof of that.”

Feeling a little embarrassed, I looked away as I said this, and Mitsuki gave a small, happy chuckle.

“Nana, thank you. I’ll treasure them. I’ll wear them every day.”

“……Yeah. Well, thanks for seeing me off. It’s about time, so I really must go now.”

The departure time was fast approaching.
　I really wanted to stay with her longer, but with the moving van due to arrive, I couldn’t linger.

As I struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill because I didn’t want to part from Mitsuki, her fingertips tugged gently at my sleeve.

“Hey, Nana… what about a goodbye kiss?”

“W-what are you on about!? We can’t possibly do that here!”

“Oh, no? You’re such a tightwad, Nana. I really wanted a kiss.”

“That sort of thing is for when we’re alone together…”

Peering at my flushed face, Mitsuki grins mischievously. Oh dear, somehow my tears have dried up.
But well, never mind. This isn’t the end. I can come back anytime, after all.

“Right then, see you later, Mitsuki. I’ll ring you again tonight.”

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting. Nana, be careful on your way.”

Reluctantly letting go of her hand, I wave to Mitsuki and pull my suitcase through the ticket gate.

Right, my mind is made up.
I won’t show any weakness anymore. I’ll study hard, work hard at my part-time job, and come back to see Mitsuki as often as I can. Back to this town.

What’s four years, anyway?
It’ll be fine; this feeling won’t waver, no matter what. Because it’s not just a one-sided crush anymore. The two of us will definitely be able to get through this.

“Nanaaaaa!!!”

I’d only walked a short way when I heard my name shouted out loud, so I turned around in surprise.
When our eyes met, Mitsuki flashed an innocent grin.

“I love you so much!!! You absolutely mustn’t cheat on me, okay!!!”

Passers-by looked startled and turned to stare at Mitsuki. But she paid them no mind, waving her arms wildly at me.

At first, I was so surprised I froze. But somehow the tension drained from my shoulders, and before I knew it, I found myself smiling too.

Oh, really… Mitsuki is so bold, isn’t she?
She’s so bold to do this with so many people around. She doesn’t care about what others think at all.

But, never mind.
I don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore.
Because as long as Mitsuki is here, that’s all I need to be happy.
Whether I’m in this town, or in a town far away, no matter where I am, I am still me.
I won’t run away from myself anymore. I won’t make excuses. I’ll live with my head held high.

I take a deep breath, filling my belly as if to make it swell. No matter what anyone asks me, I don’t care anymore.

‘I know!!! I… I love you toooooo!!!’

I shout at the top of my lungs, pouring all my feelings into it so that Mitsuki can hear me clearly.

And then, I waved my hand at Mitsuki, waving it high and wide.