Episode 21: Why Do You Keep Getting in the Way?
Friday evening. The day of my plans with Asakura-san.
In the locker room, putting a little more effort than usual into my appearance, I heard Hanamori’s voice from behind.
“Asami-san, are you dressed up a bit today?”
My stomach dropped. I turned around, and Hanamori was standing there, eyes narrowed, arms crossed, watching me.
“…Could it be that plan you mentioned, is it with Asakura-san?”
This girl. So sharp. Or rather, why can she read this much?
“Eh, n-no, it’s not that?”
For some reason, some genuinely unclear reason, the lie slipped out of me instantly.
There shouldn’t have been anything to feel guilty about, and yet my mouth moved on its own.
“Hmph.”
Hanamori’s gaze was cold.
She didn’t ask anything else after that.
Feeling somehow awkward, I said a quick “See you, have a good week” and hurried off.
That night, after work. The meeting time was six.
I headed to meet Asakura-san. The agreed spot was the bistro that had come up in conversation at the year-end party. The stylish interior made me a little nervous.
“Nagi-san, thank you for coming today.”
Asakura-san smiled softly. Looking over the menu, she ordered a mulled wine.
“Well then, cheers.”
The clink of glasses touching. The mulled wine slid down my throat. It spread warmth through my chilled body, delicious.
I was pretty nervous at first, but as the drinks went down, the conversation flowed more and more naturally.
Asakura-san had a real talent for steering the topic, and the occasional light touch, the smile that would suddenly surface, made my heart skip without my permission.
“Nagi-san, you seem put-together, but you’ve actually got a surprisingly scatterbrained side, don’t you?”
“…Eh, am I scatterbrained?”
“That’s the part I like, though.”
Asakura-san laughed softly. Her face was close. A faint whiff of soapy perfume drifted over.
—Ah, she really is beautiful.
Panicking internally, I tried to keep a calm surface. No, I don’t think I was managing it. I was aware my face had gone stiff.
By the time my third glass of mulled wine had emptied, a pleasant buzz had settled in.
Asakura-san, drinking at the same pace, had cheeks that had gone a little red too.
“Come to think of it, Nagi-san, you and Hanamori-san get along well, don’t you?”
“Eh.”
It caught me off guard. My hand holding the glass froze for a second.
“…N-no, not at all.”
“Really? You always look like you’re having fun together.”
Maybe because the mulled wine made the alcohol hit faster, my real feelings slipped out.
“Ugh, no, seriously, that girl’s such a brat. Younger than me and she still trash-talks me constantly. Teases me about being old without a second thought. Calculating, and totally boy-crazy too.”
Asakura-san laughed softly.
“Fufu, sounds like you find that side of her kind of cute too, as a junior coworker.”
“No, not cute at all. She’s genuinely annoying. First off, she only raises her right eyebrow, right when she’s trash-talking. And the corners of her mouth go up just slightly, but her eyes aren’t smiling. I mean, her face might be cute, but that’s exactly what makes it infuriating.”
“Huh.”
“And she only drags out the end of her sentences when she’s teasing or making fun of me. Like, ‘isn’t that riiight~.’ It’s seriously irritating.”
“…I see.”
“And when Hanamori-san laughs, her eyes go all droopy, but when she’s angry, all the emotion drains right out of her eyes and her mouth goes flat in a straight line. Her emotions are way too easy to read. Like a kid. She’s a working adult, she should keep it off her face.”
Before I knew it, I’d been talking nonstop. The alcohol was making me talkative. Asakura-san laughed, looking faintly troubled.
“…Ah, sorry. I’ve just been talking this whole time.”
“No. …Wow, you really do pay close attention to the little things about Hanamori-san, huh.”
“No, no, I don’t pay attention at all! It’s just the annoying stuff that catches my eye. She really is a brat, that one.”
I denied it desperately and drained the extra mulled wine I’d ordered. Asakura-san just kept smiling.
—What is this conversation. Why am I talking about Hanamori right now.
Something rough lingered deep in my chest.
Asakura-san, swirling her glass, spoke up suddenly.
“Nagi-san… do you have someone you like?”
—Eh?
My mind went blank. I got stuck on an answer.
I was aware my mouth was opening and closing wordlessly. Almost comically so.
And then, for some reason, what kept flickering uselessly through my mind wasn’t Asakura-san’s face in front of me.
That bratty expression. Her face when she laughed for real.
And then, the time we kissed—
They floated up softly, then vanished.
—The person I like is supposed to be Asakura-san.
It’s the alcohol. I’m drunk. My brain’s just glitching.
“You don’t have to force an answer, you know? Fufu.”
Asakura-san smiled, a touch mischievously. I was being completely teased. Mortifying.
“A-Asakura-san, what about you? Is there anyone you’re seeing?”
I asked, desperately trying to change the subject.
“I do have someone I like, yes.”
“Eh, really… is it someone at the office?”
“Yes…”
Asakura-san propped her elbow on the table, gazing at me with a glossy, meaningful look.
“Actually… it’s someone in sales.”
Eh!?
Wait a second. She’s looking right at me.
Could it be… that means…
My heart was pounding hard enough to be loud. My face was hot. Total panic.
But I couldn’t say it out loud.
Somehow it felt like saying it would end everything.
“Kind, good at their job… and fun to drink with, too.”
Asakura-san tilted her head, watching me, continuing quietly.
Wahhh, what do I do.
This is, after all, really…!?
I was aware I might be flattering myself. But it all seemed to fit. …Well, “good at her job” was a little iffy, honestly.
But no, even that, Asakura-san had complimented me on before.
“…I see.”
I forced out an answer. My voice was shaking, I could tell. My face was completely hot.
Asking anything more felt somehow embarrassing, so I stayed quiet, and the conversation broke off there.
On the way back. Walking side by side toward the station. The night breeze felt nice.
“Nagi-san, today was fun.”
Asakura-san lightly touched my arm. The instant she did, my heart gave a hard thud.
Getting to spend time like this with someone I’ve admired, I was genuinely happy.
And yet.
Hanamori’s face flashed through my mind: that cold glare in the locker room, the “Hmph,” and then that faintly lonely expression right after.
—No, no, why is she getting in the way right now.
That woman’s probably off surrounded by men at some group mixer or drinking party right now anyway, having fun as usual.
And yet, for some reason, something deep in my chest stayed rough, unsettled.
“Let’s go for drinks again sometime, Nagi-san.”
Asakura-san waved lightly, and I watched her back as she walked away.
Asakura-san’s smile. Genuinely radiant, elegant, wonderful.
Right, so much more than Hanamori’s smile.
Even thinking that, for some reason, what surfaced in my mind was Hanamori’s face when she laughs for real, cackling without a filter.
Why.
If Asakura-san really does like me, I’d be happy. Genuinely happy.
But Hanamori’s face surfaced in my mind again, and, without meaning to, I murmured under my breath.
“Wonder what she’s up to right now.”
The small murmur was carried off and swallowed by the night wind.