Episode 86: Preparing for the Family Meeting (3)

We finished our evening meal in no time at all, and the four of us were now gathered around Endo-san’s table. Endo-san had boiled some water and served us all tea, so Mayo-nee and Hikari-san were sipping it noisily.

‘Right then, let’s get started. Are you really sure it’s alright, Hoshizora? We’re going to be laying everything bare, about our family and about you… I’m sorry, Hina-chan, but there are bound to be some things you’d rather not hear, maybe?’

Mayo-nee looked at me with an apologetic expression.

‘As I said before, I’ve already told Endo-san about myself, and even if she hears what’s said here, she won’t go blabbing it to anyone or make fun of us, so it’s fine.’

　As I said that to myself, I realised I’d come to trust Endo-san quite a lot. To be honest, at first I’d thought of Endo-san as someone rather careless, someone who just went with the flow.

However, I realised that my perception was almost entirely wrong; Endo-san is simply good at going along with those around her, but in reality she’s a serious, kind person with a surprisingly vulnerable side.

　I glanced at Endo-san and saw her looking at me with a surprised expression. I felt embarrassed and couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

Just as I was about to tell Mayo-nee to carry on, I noticed she had the same surprised look on her face as Endo-san, which I found slightly amusing, so I burst out laughing.

“Why are you laughing now?”
Mayo-nee said with a look of displeasure.

“Your reactions were so identical, I just couldn’t help it…”
　I said that with a laugh, but I wondered if I was really the sort of person who would say something like that.

‘Anyway, shall we get on with it? I’m sorry this is so sudden, but I’m planning on telling my parents about my future plans next Saturday.’

Startled by the sudden announcement, I could hear my heart beating strangely. Would I be able to prepare myself mentally by next week? I couldn’t imagine myself talking to my parents next week at all. Ignoring my panic, Mayo-nee continued.

‘As for Hoshizora, to be honest, I’m not sure how they’ll react when she tells them she doesn’t want to go to medical school. From what I’ve heard before, they said they’d cover her expenses until she graduates. I don’t know if that’s on the condition she goes to medical school or if any university will do, but personally, I reckon it’ll be fine for Hoshizora.’

Hearing that, I was relieved to find our views aligned. My parents have no interest in me, the underachiever.

　Still, even someone like me is, after all, their child.
I don’t think they’re quite that heartless, and even now that I’ve finished compulsory education, I still receive enough money to get by.

‘I think so too. It’s frustrating, but I can’t do what I want on my own; I’ll need my parents’ help, so I need to talk to them properly myself.’

‘Yeah. Let’s do our best.’

With that, my sister took a deep breath.

‘The problem is me, isn’t it…’

I could see Mayo-nee’s face growing paler by the second. I could tell she was still trying to shoulder the burden alone, and my heart ached at the thought.

‘I suppose I’ve been able to rely on them all this time because I’m supposed to take over Dad’s practice. But I don’t want to take over Dad’s practice. I want to work somewhere bigger and help lots of people. I want to study rare diseases and see as many people as possible saved. You can call it idealistic if you like, but it’s what I really want to do…”

I felt Mayu’s voice was trembling slightly.

I think I understand that feeling very well.
I feel like a lot has changed for me since I decided I wanted to become a schoolteacher. I feel like I’ve found what I truly want to do. For that, I can even endure the hard times.

‘No matter what happens, Mayo, I’ll always be there for you.’

Hikari-san held Mayo-nee’s trembling hand tightly. Seeing Mayo-nee regain her composure as a result, Hikari-san couldn’t help but be deeply moved by just how much Mayo-nee meant to her.

“My parents treated me well because I’m the one who’s going to inherit the family business. If I didn’t take over the family business, and if Hoshizora didn’t pursue a career in medicine, I think the worst-case scenario would be that we’d both be thrown out… And if that happened, financial matters would naturally become an issue… I reckon I could just work my fingers to the bone at a part-time job. It’s just that Hoshizora might end up with nowhere to go home to, so I’ve been agonising over what to do…”

　It’s true that even if I lost my current allowance, I wouldn’t be in trouble, but losing a place to live might be a problem.

“I’ll work my fingers to the bone too, so it’ll be fine.”

It might be me putting on a brave face, but I don’t think there’s anything I can’t do. I reckon I could pack in loads of part-time jobs, rent a cheap flat, and manage a bare-bones existence. Though, I might have to give up on university…

“—Well then, why don’t you just come and live at my place?”
“……Huh? ……Eh?”

Endo-san gave me a look as if I’d said something weird. Mayo-nee and Hikari-san look as though they’ve accepted it, but I’m completely baffled…?

“That’d be far too much of a bother, and absolutely out of the question. I’d rather just die of starvation than do that.”

I don’t want Endo-san to dislike me. That’s why I want to avoid causing her any trouble as much as possible.

“It’s not a bother at all, and I’ll set the rules to some extent, so it’ll be fine. From my point of view, whether Takizawa’s here or not, what I do won’t change much from now; it’ll just mean I have to cook a bit more food, that’s all.”

　Endo-san speaks with a gentle smile.
　Even if that were the case, it’s still out of the question. Lately, when I’m with Endo-san, I feel like I’m losing myself. Just a moment ago, I did something to upset Endo-san.

　Right now, I’d rather not have Endo-san become disillusioned with me and drift away. I’ve finally managed to accept that Endo-san is someone important to me, and I’m terrified of losing them.

　Of course, I know that eventually our paths will diverge and we’ll lose touch, but I don’t want to spend any less time with Endo-san whilst we’re still at secondary school.

　Contrary to my feelings, Endo-san is beaming. When she looks like this, she absolutely won’t back down. I wish Mayo-nee would at least say, ‘That’s a nuisance, so let’s stop it,’ but both Mayo-nee and Hikari-san look happy and beaming.

　What on earth is everyone thinking…

‘Sigh… In the worst-case scenario, I might have to rely on Endo-san, but I’d like to keep that as a last resort.’

‘I’m sorry, Hina-chan, but if the worst comes to the worst, please look after Hoshizora.’

　Mayo-nee is dutifully saying things like that.

　Endo-san was nodding in agreement.

‘It’s not just because of this situation, but you’re welcome to live at my place if you like…’
“I’m definitely not moving in.”

　I glared at Endo-san, who was looking at me with a mischievous, devilish expression, but she just sat down next to me with a beaming smile, as if it didn’t matter at all.

“You’re too close.”
“We always study at about this distance, don’t we?”
“We’re not studying right now. We’re having a serious conversation.”
“Sorry to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment, but can we get on with the discussion?”
“We’re not being lovey-dovey!”

　When Mayo-nee said something I didn’t understand, I replied in a slightly annoyed tone, and she placed her hand gently on my head.

Since the conversation was going nowhere, I decided to keep quiet.

“We’ve gone quite off-topic, but that was just the worst-case scenario. Well, it would be best if I could somehow convince my parents and everything ended peacefully, but they’re a stubborn pair, so I don’t think it’ll be that easy. Above all, it’s my fault…”

Mayo-nee isn’t acting like herself today.
I wonder what’s wrong.

‘There’s something I need to tell Hoshizora. I happened to have a chance to talk to Hikari and Hina-chan about it, but—’

Something the three of them know that I don’t? Wondering what it could be, I furrow my brow.

“…The truth is, I’m not actually their biological child. Legally, I’m their child through adoption, but I’m not their biological child. That’s why I think this news will be particularly hard for my parents to accept. Apart from taking over my father’s practice, they don’t need me. I know telling you this will only hurt you, Hoshizora. But I felt I had to tell you. You can hit me, shout at me, do whatever you like…”

　For once, Hikari-san looked gloomy too. Endo-san also looked down and fell silent. I couldn’t understand why everyone had suddenly become so sombre.

“I knew.”

“Eh?” “Huh?” “Hmm?”
　The three voices overlapped simultaneously.

“It was written on some document I found somewhere when I was about in secondary school. To me, it didn’t really matter, whether that fact existed or not, my parents are still those two, and my only sister is Mayo-nee, isn’t she?”

“But Hoshizora is their biological child, whereas I’m not their biological child, yet I’m the one who’s cherished more. Don’t you feel anything about that? It’s a fact that would make it perfectly natural for me to be resented or hated, don’t you think?”

　Mayo-nee was speaking with her emotions laid bare, which was unusual for her.

　It’s true, it was painful when I found out, and I wondered why, but what I can say now is that all the pain and suffering I’ve been through is what has made me who I am today.

　And I’ve met people I want to cherish, and right now, I’m able to spend even a little bit of happy time with them.

　I think I’ve become a bit more human than I used to be.

　So, I don’t think I can resent or hate Mayonei for that fact she’s bringing up now.

‘It’s true there was a time when I resented Mayo-nee, and there were times I envied her, but I’m actually quite happy now. I’m glad to be alive. So, I don’t hate Mayo-nee or anything like that now.’

　I’m glad I’ve reached a point where I can have a conversation like this with Mayo-nee. I’d thought I’d never be able to have even a normal conversation, let alone one like this, so all the more reason I feel nothing but gratitude towards the girl standing right in front of me, who is the reason I’ve become this way.

‘Mayo-nee, let’s do our best together to make things work out. That’s all I want to say to you right now.’

　I felt a little embarrassed and looked down. I wondered if my true feelings had got through to her properly.

　Without me realising it, Mayo-nee had come and hugged me, and I could feel her body trembling.

‘I’m sorry, Hoshizora. —Thank you. Let’s do our best together.’

　Something cold fell onto my shoulder. I could tell Mayo-nee was crying, her body trembling. She seemed similar to the sister who used to comfort me when our family was falling apart, yet she was completely different. She wasn’t putting on a brave face; she was vulnerable, and that put me at ease.

It made me happy to realise that Mayo-nee had her own struggles and weaknesses too, that she wasn’t perfect, and that she was relying on me, even just a little.

Next Saturday became the day I resolved to settle matters regarding our future with our parents, alongside my most trusted ally.