Episode 93: Second Chance Fireworks Festival (1)

Summer holidays were drawing to a close, and with them came a stretch of increasingly sweltering days.

I feel this has been a very fulfilling summer holiday.
Between conversations with my family, studying for exams with Endo-san, and my part-time job as a tutor, every day has been busy and rewarding, it really makes me feel alive.

Just as I was dozing off in the heat, I received a message from Mai on my mobile.

‘Let’s make some memories for our last summer holiday as third-years. Let’s go to the fireworks festival together tomorrow! Oh, and by the way, Miumi-chan’s coming too, so we’ll invite Hina as well and go as a group of four.’

I simply replied ‘Like’ to Mai’s cheerful message, tossed my phone onto the bed, and flopped down beside it. I assumed Mai would have contacted Endo-san without me needing to say anything, so I didn’t get in touch myself.

　It doesn’t really matter who I go to the fireworks festival with, and crowded places tire me out, so if anything, I’d rather not go.

　However, it was partly my fault that Endo-san, who had been looking forward to it so much last year, couldn’t see the fireworks. Because I didn’t want anyone at school to know I was involved with her, I chose a place far away and ended up causing Endo-san pain.

　So, this year, I’m simply taking responsibility for that.
　It doesn’t really matter if it’s not just the two of us.

　As I suddenly recalled last year, the image of Endo-san in her yukata popped into my head.

Endo-san looked so beautiful in her yukata that even now, a year later, I still can’t get the image out of my head. She was so beautiful that she caught the eye of everyone passing by.

I could never look that beautiful even if I wore a yukata myself.
Yet, a faint hope began to stir in my heart: would Endo-san be surprised if I wore a yukata…?

　Without thinking, I sent a message to Mayo-nee on my mobile.

‘Mayo-nee, do you have a yukata? Is there one at home?’

‘It’s in Mum and Dad’s bedroom wardrobe! I think it was in a wooden box. Are you going to wear it? Hina-chan would absolutely love that! Feel free to use it.’

My sister’s reply was surprisingly quick.
　I didn’t actually intend to wear it, but I was curious to see what it looked like, so I tiptoed down the stairs and decided to go and have a look in my parents’ bedroom.

When I peeked into the bedroom, no one was there, so, relieved, I rummaged through the wardrobe. Inside the wardrobe, which smelled of dust, I found what looked like the wooden box my sister had mentioned and opened the lid.

　It was a yukata with a pale blue base and a pattern of morning glories in a slightly darker shade of blue. When I imagined my sister, Mayo, wearing it, I pictured her looking absolutely beautiful and perfectly suited to it.

　I held the yukata up to my reflection in the dressing table in the bedroom diagonally opposite.

　It really doesn’t suit me at all…

　It’s like casting pearls before swine.
　What’s more, I didn’t really know how to put a yukata on properly, so it was impossible for me to manage it on my own.

　Just as I was rushing to put the yukata back where I’d found it before my mother spotted me, I heard someone coming in and my body froze.

　Even though I knew she wouldn’t treat me as badly as she used to, the habits ingrained in my body wouldn’t fade, and I reacted instinctively.

　When I looked up, my mother was standing right in front of me, her expression neither cold nor kind.

‘…Are you going to wear that?’

　I stood frozen, unable to utter a single word in response to my mother’s question, and without saying a word about my behaviour, she left the bedroom. I hurriedly put away the things I’d taken out and returned to my own room.

　I picked up the mobile I’d thrown onto the bed a moment earlier and saw that Endo-san had sent me a message.

‘Is it OK if Mai and the others come along tomorrow too?’
‘Yeah.’

　As Mai had already mentioned it to me earlier, I wasn’t particularly surprised, but Endo-san’s next reply left me slightly taken aback.

‘I’d have preferred just the two of us.’

I couldn’t make head nor tail of her intentions. I reckon it wouldn’t make any difference to Endo-san who she went with, as long as she got to see the fireworks. After all, she’d said she wanted to see some beautiful fireworks.

　Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about Endo-san a lot, as I just can’t seem to figure her out.

“Sigh… I wonder if tomorrow will be alright…”

　With that anxiety weighing on my mind, I drifted off to sleep that night.

　＊＊＊

　On the day of the fireworks festival, evening came in a flash and the meeting time was drawing near.

　In my room, I laid out my clothes, wondering what to wear, and sat with my chin resting on my hand, unable to move for about twenty minutes.

　Just as I was thinking seriously about it, there was a sudden knock at the door, and I jumped with my whole body, like a cat startled by a loud noise.
　‘Who is it?’ I thought to myself as I opened the door to find my mother standing there.

‘—Are you going to wear this today?’

　In my mother’s hands was the wooden box containing the yukata I’d found yesterday.

　I hadn’t mentioned that I was going to the fireworks festival today, nor that I wanted to wear that yukata, so I wondered why she was asking. Still, feeling I had to say something, I spoke, suppressing my trembling voice.

‘I’d like to wear it, but I don’t know how to put it on, so it’s fine…’

　Just as I said that, trying to end the conversation, Mum walked straight into my room. It had been years since Mum had last entered my room, and I was so taken aback by her actions that I froze in place.

‘It’ll only take about fifteen minutes, so hurry up and get undressed.’

　Mum grabbed the sleeve of my top firmly and looked straight at me.

　I don’t know why, but it seems she’s going to help me put on the yukata. It had been so long since my mother had done anything like this for me that a strange sweat broke out all over my body and my breathing became shallow.

　I took off my clothes as I was told and slipped my arms into the sleeves of the yukata. My mother was very efficient, and she had me dressed in the yukata in no time.

　When I looked in the full-length mirror in the room, there I was, wearing a beautiful yukata. I felt so out of place that I wanted to look away.

‘Sit there…’

　My mother instructed me in a voice that sounded a little uncertain, and since she’d told me to, I decided to sit in front of the mirror and put up with it, even though I didn’t want to look at myself.

　My body stiffened as she touched my hair.
　However, my mother’s hands never stopped, and my hair was expertly styled too.

　Her hand strokes my head.
That hand is just as warm and comforting as it always was. It brings a lump to my throat, and I can barely hold back my tears.

No matter how many years pass, no matter what happens, this is who my mother will always be. It’s a warmth that leaves me with no choice but to believe that.

Looking in the mirror, I see myself with my hair styled in the blink of an eye. It’s braided on both sides and pinned up at the back in a half-up style.

　Without a word, Mum took out what must have been her own make-up kit and began to touch my face. She was standing right in front of me, but I couldn’t meet her gaze and ended up looking down.

　I didn’t know what to say, and there was nothing we needed to talk about at this stage.

　The awkward silence simply dragged on.

　Paying no heed to my feelings, she gently applied the primer and then the foundation.
　Various touches of make-up were applied around my eyes, things I couldn’t quite make out, my eyebrows were shaped, and finally, after applying lipstick, my mother’s hands stopped.

‘Have a good time,’

she said, and left the room.

I was left dumbfounded by the situation, but when I looked at the clock, I saw it was nearly time to meet up, so I hurriedly began getting ready to leave.

Suddenly, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t hide my surprise.
　I’d always thought yukata didn’t suit me at all, but I’d been made up so beautifully that the yukata didn’t look out of place at all.
I was slightly impressed by the power of make-up.

Mum really is amazing…

I wonder if Endo-san will be pleased.
No, why do I need Endo-san to be pleased? Shaking off that strange thought, I left the house.

　By chance, I bumped into my mother in the hallway, but she said nothing and turned her back on me, trying to walk away.

‘Thank you…’

　I didn’t know if she’d heard me or not, but having conveyed the best of my feelings that I could manage at that moment, I left the house with my heart pounding.