Episode 8

‘Back then, I was desperate to change myself, to become the heroine I’d imagined.’

Her eyes were swollen, yet she continued, her voice surprisingly clear.

‘The way I spoke, the way I carried myself, my appearance, I had to start all over again, from scratch.’

‘Oh, just to clarify, I’m not imitating that heroine anymore. Before I knew it, this became the natural me.’

‘I see.’

“I’m sorry for bringing up such heavy topics. I didn’t want your sympathy. Please just understand that much.”

“Yeah. I understand.”

There was no question of sympathy. The fact that she’d confided in me about something she’d been keeping to herself had solidified my own answer.

“Let me say thank you, too.”

I turned to face Seriha and met her gaze. Even without make-up, her large eyes were trembling.

　“Thank you for always liking me. And I’m sorry I’m not the person I used to be.”

“Seriha… weren’t you disappointed?”

I think back then, I was just like Seriha, a bright, lively child.

I’ve grown up and settled down. It sounds nice when put that way, but that’s not the case for me.

“I was surprised. The senpai who used to shine so brightly had become someone hollow, someone who looked like she might fade away.”

　Some people’s insides get completely swapped out. I suppose I can’t really argue with that.

‘But even after meeting that version of you again, my feelings didn’t change. You might have been empty, but at your root, the senpai you used to be was still there.’

‘I was scared that person would vanish somewhere, so I panicked and ended up being a bit pushy.’

Fiddling with the plastic bottle in her hand, she looked away awkwardly.

“Listen.”

Let’s talk.

There might be no point in talking about this. There might not be, but she has a right to know.

That day, I woke from a dream — and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I spent years walking through the dark.

After a while, I met Seriha, and together we boarded another dream. When this dream ends, the two of us will board the next one together.

　Even putting it into words now, it sounds incoherent. Nonsensical. Even so, I suppose. I think that’s fine for us.

‘I want you to listen to my story too.’

I stated it firmly, my voice trembling, and turned my gaze towards Seriha. Anxiety was evident on her face. Even so, she looked straight at me and gave a small nod.

I closed my eyes and breathed quietly, over and over.

　If Seriha has changed, then I must change too.

I took another deep breath and I began to draw out my words one by one.