Episode 78: What if I tried pushing Yui down?

Back when I was still in primary school.

Every year, we went camping as a family. Since my father was a huge outdoors enthusiast, it became a regular event for the Aosawa household.
We travelled to all sorts of campsites in my father’s beloved Land Cruiser – a car he’d splashed out on before I was born.

I remember how, whilst accompanying my brother on his bug hunts or enjoying barbecues, night would fall in the blink of an eye.

　Just recalling the atmosphere inside that cramped tent, lit by lanterns, still makes my heart race. Yet, no matter how many times I experienced it, I never got used to sleeping in a sleeping bag. My body, spoiled by beds, simply refused to drift off, no matter how exhausted I was.
Despite such inconveniences, I loved the scent of plants and water I felt amidst nature.
So, when I first learned of ‘glamping’, it felt incredibly appealing – perhaps because of those childhood memories.

　Surrounded by the monochrome grey of city skyscrapers, rushing through each day, I longed for even the slightest splash of colour in my life. Even if it was just a small respite, that time felt incredibly precious.
Even as the everyday life I’ll share with Yui-san becomes routine, I hope we can continue to treasure moments like that.

　Sunday is Yui’s birthday.
It felt like good fortune that this important day coincided with a holiday.
Today is Saturday. We rose early and drove towards Karuizawa, where the glamping facility is located.

It was enjoyable choosing the accommodation together, poring over magazines.
It was a bit of a drive, but it had hot springs, the cabins were detached for privacy, and both the food and atmosphere looked excellent. Apparently, we could even have drinks at the bar in the evening.

Though not peak autumn foliage season, by mid-October, the higher-altitude Karuizawa should be just starting to see the maple leaves change colour.

Perhaps thanks to our good deeds, today dawned with a refreshingly clear autumn sky – perfect weather for an outing.
Yui-san’s beloved car, carrying us, glided smoothly along the motorway.

　In the comfortable, smooth ride with minimal sway, I gazed out the window, humming to myself. The Boston bag packed with clothes for one night was in the boot. Inside it lay the present I’d bought for Yui-san the other day.
Handing it to her the moment the date changed was my greatest pleasure today.

“I’m sorry I made you drive on your birthday, Yui-san.”

“Don’t worry about it. This car has autonomous driving, so it’s not tiring at all.”

“Eh, autonomous driving? That’s amazing…”

When we reunited after entering the workforce, Yui-san’s car had changed from a shiny black domestic model to a gleaming white foreign one. Naturally, this seemed to be a hand-me-down from Yukiyasu-san.
　The car itself spoke volumes about how well Yukiyasu-san’s company was doing, without him needing to say a word.
For instance, the passenger seat had an ottoman, and the seats had built-in heating and cooling. The very existence of such features in a car was something I probably wouldn’t have known about my whole life if I hadn’t met Yui-san.

I glanced over at Yui-san beside me. Her profile, lit by the sunlight, looked incredibly happy, and I found myself smiling too.
　I opened the lid of the snacks bought at the convenience store earlier and plucked out a long, thin potato stick.

“Would you like a snack?”

“Mm, thanks.”

Since she couldn’t take her hands off the wheel, I held the snack up to Yui-san’s mouth. After confirming she’d eaten it properly, I popped one into my own mouth too.
　The refreshing music echoing through the car, the clear autumn blue sky and white clouds. And just having you beside me made me feel this happy.
I hoped Yui-san felt the same. As we pondered the unseen destinations ahead, the car carrying us steadily drew nearer to our destination.

＊＊＊

The two-hour drive passed quicker than I’d imagined.
Cool autumn breezes rustled the crimson maple leaves. Taking a deep breath to inhale the scent of the trees felt like it melted away the fatigue accumulated from work.
At the glamping facility, there was absolutely no need to bring any equipment or ingredients.
　I’d chosen this place specifically for its dome tents, and its barbecues were reputed to be delicious.
Each unit had its own bath and shower, though apparently there was also a private hot spring facility a short distance away.
Yui-san had said she wanted to go to the hot springs together, so I’d booked it in advance at reception. I felt a little embarrassed about it, but then again, it was all because it was Yui-san’s birthday.

For Yui-san, who always makes my wishes come true, today I want to do my utmost to make hers come true too.

The villa we’re staying in tonight has the large dome tent I requested, and the wooden deck features two hammocks and a barbecue set.
Given the considerable price, stepping inside the dome tent revealed a ceiling so high you had to look up to see it.

“Wow, it’s incredible…!”

　Inside was one king-size bed. Sharing the same bed was Yui-san’s wish.
Part of the tent was transparent, designed so you could enjoy the view of the surrounding nature. Perhaps the stars would look beautiful too.

I dashed towards the bed and flopped down with a thud. Behind me, I heard Yui-san laugh.

“It’s only afternoon yet. If you get this excited now, you won’t have any energy left by nightfall, you know?”

“…But I was really looking forward to it.”

“Hehe, I know. It’s even more amazing than I imagined. I’m stunned. …Kanata, are you really alright with the money?”

Yui-san placed our luggage on the tent’s built-in rack and looked at me with a hint of concern, making me laugh involuntarily. Because it didn’t sound like something someone with a tendency to lavish money on others would say.

“Don’t worry. I got a generous summer bonus. Thanks to you, Yui-san.”

“It was Yamazato-san who evaluated you, wasn’t it? Though I’ll be handling the winter bonus assessment.”

Saying that, Yui-san also sat down on the bed. Peering at my face as I lay face-down, kicking my legs about, she grinned.

“…Please go easy on me, alright?”

Feeling a little uneasy, I said that, and Yui lowered the outer corners of her eyes and smiled.

“Of course. Kanata’s working hard. You’re always perfect.”

“But being favoured just because we’re lovers… well, that’s a bit… unsettling, to be honest.”

Pouting my lips as I said that, Yui laughed. Yui lay down beside me and gently stroked my cheek. I turned to face her, staring intently into those dark eyes, and could feel my heart pounding steadily.
No matter how many years pass, I still can’t get used to this person’s beauty. When she looks at me, my breath catches instantly.
Ah, I love her. I thought it, savouring the feeling.

“…Cute.”

Whispering softly, Yui tucked my hair behind my ear.
The sound of leaves rustling in the breeze reached my ears. The dappled sunlight filtering through the dome tent felt so utterly blissful, it was a happy afternoon where closing my eyes might have sent me straight to sleep.

“…I love you, Kanata.”

Love me. Just hearing those two words from you meant I could think of nothing else. Hesitantly, I lowered my gaze from her dark eyes to her lips.
As if reading my feelings from my eyes alone, Yui smiled softly and drew her face closer to mine.
She kissed me, a kiss that barely touched. It was a gentle, gentle kiss, as if sharing only affection.

“I… love you too.”

When our lips parted, the words slipped out as if they’d naturally spilled from deep within my chest. Yui-san smiled happily and hugged me tightly.

The familiar, lovely scent of her perfume. The scent of Yui-san, whom I adore. My chest felt all light and fluffy.

“Shall we go for a walk once we’ve rested a bit?”

Her soft voice echoed from where my ear pressed against her chest. I nodded, and Yui-san gently stroked my back.

　Today, I have a purpose. To make Yui-san’s birthday, four years in the making, the best it can be, I’ve meticulously gathered information.

After enjoying a stroll through nature, we’ll have a barbecue and eat lots of delicious food. Once we’ve soaked in the private hot spring, we’ll relax with drinks at the bar. Last time we went on a date, I made her drive, so she couldn’t drink. But today, we can drink together.

　By the time we return to the tent, it will surely be just after midnight. Then, I’ll give Yui-san that necklace, and then—

I swallowed hard. It’ll be fine. The plan I’ve devised is perfect.

While Yui-san held me close, I recalled the day I’d consulted Ritsu-san about something.

＊＊＊

“Sorry, Kanata-chan. I didn’t quite catch that. Could you repeat it?”

A weekday after work. In a private room at an izakaya, beer in hand, Ritsu-san stared at me intently, a puzzled look on her face.

“Well… I mean, generally speaking, how often do couples, you know…”

Mumbling away, I became aware my own voice was gradually trailing off. Then Ritsu leaned even closer, listened to my words, and after catching them, her eyes widened slightly as if she’d understood.

“So, you want to know how often couples have sex? Surely not some lovey-dovey tale about being pestered every night and finding it a bother?”

“R-Ritsu-san! Please don’t say that so loudly! And it’s not every night!”

Ritsu-san burst out laughing, making me feel like steam was about to puff out of my face like a locomotive.
　I thought Ritsu-san would be absolutely perfect for this kind of conversation, but perhaps I misjudged.
Sulking and fidgeting with the towel, Ritsu-san wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and apologised, “Sorry, sorry.”

“No… but seriously, when you started dating Yui, you must’ve known this would happen, right?”

“I couldn’t have known. I mean, I had no one to compare her to…”

When I pouted, Ritsu grinned, narrowing her eyes.

“What? Did Yui complain about something?”

“It’s not that exactly…”

　I’m not sure if I’m satisfying Yui-san, being so inexperienced myself. She’s so experienced that it makes me anxious.
She said she was satisfied the other day, but was she really?
Yui-san knows I’m not naturally good at sex. She’s kind, so maybe she just can’t bring herself to say she’s dissatisfied.
In fact, just the other day, she told me, “Two weeks without is impossible.” I’d been so preoccupied with Yui-san’s birthday that I hadn’t given it a moment’s thought.
Yui-san is the type who expresses her affection abundantly. So I suppose spending the night together is just an extension of that.
But is it really okay for it to be so one-sided?
There aren’t any female couples around me to ask, so I had no one to consult and no idea what the right answer was.

I broke up with my last boyfriend because he cheated on me over sex. Of course, I know Yui-san isn’t the type to cheat, but I can’t help wondering if I’m satisfying her… And, well, it’s always me receiving, so I keep thinking, is that really alright…

　Yui-san’s ex was apparently older, so she probably wasn’t as inexperienced as me. What if she thinks I’m not enough? The happier I am, the more I find myself thinking these things.

Munching on boiled edamame, Ritsu-san blinked, her eyes widening.

“That’s what you’re worried about? That’ll be fine, I reckon. I don’t think Yui wants you to do anything for her, not even a millimetre…”

“Is… is that how it is?”

When I asked back, Ritsu took a big gulp of beer, then grinned as if she’d thought of something. I recognised that look in her eyes, and it gave me a bad feeling.

“Come to think of it, you’re staying over for Yui’s birthday, right? Well then… why not just… push Yui down yourself, Kanata-chan?”

“Eh?”

I hadn’t expected her to say something like that and was startled. Push her down…? Me, pushing Yui-san…?

　The instant I imagined it, I felt my face flush fiercely. Could I really push down that Yui-san? Could I possibly do such a thing?

The first time I had sex with Yui-san… I did make the first move. But back then, I didn’t even know how little I could handle alcohol. I’d drunk way beyond my limit, got completely plastered, and I think I was feeling rather bold.

Sober? There’s no way I could do it.

“If you want to know how Yui feels, you just have to act, don’t you? Try it and see how she reacts.”

But… but… I almost blurted out excuses like that.

Come to think of it, I made a promise to Yui-san. On her birthday, I promised to “do anything she asked”.
There’s no way that Yui-san would forget such a promise. She’ll definitely make some kind of move on the day.
　So maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for me to make the first move. Whether I can actually do it or not, well, that’s another matter.

“I’ll… try my best, as far as I can.”

When I said that, Ritsu-san chuckled, sounding rather amused.

“You think it’s none of your business,” I puffed out my cheeks. But — to be honest, I was a little bit like that too.
I found myself wanting to see how Yui-san would react.