Episode Seventy-Eight: Why Not Try Pushing Yui Down Yourself?
Back when I was still in elementary school.
Every year, my family went camping. My father was a huge outdoors enthusiast, so it had become something of an annual tradition for the Aozawa family. Before I was even born, he’d apparently splurged and bought his beloved Land Cruiser, and we’d driven it to all kinds of campgrounds over the years.
Chasing bugs with my brother, enjoying barbecues together — I remember how fast night would fall, before we knew it.
Just remembering the atmosphere of that cramped tent, lit by lantern, still fills me with a little thrill even now. But no matter how many times I did it, I never quite got used to sleeping in a sleeping bag — my bed-spoiled body just wouldn’t settle into sleep easily, no matter how tired I was.
Even with those little inconveniences, I loved the smell of the plants and water you get out in nature.
So maybe it’s thanks to those childhood memories that “glamping,” the first time I ever heard the word, sounded so appealing to me.
Living the rushed, hurried days of city life, surrounded by nothing but grey office buildings — I think it’s good to have even a little color woven into daily life like this. However small a rest it is, that time is precious.
Going forward, even once ordinary days spent together with Yui-san become the norm, I hope I can keep cherishing moments like this.
*
Sunday is Yui-san’s birthday.
Getting a day off that happens to line up with this important day felt like real luck.
Today, Saturday. Up early since morning, we drove out to Karuizawa, where the glamping facility was located.
*
Picking out the lodging, the two of us hunched over a magazine together, had been fun in its own right.
A bit of a drive, but it had a hot spring, and each unit was separate from the others so we could relax properly, and both the food and the atmosphere looked wonderful. Apparently you could even have drinks at a bar in the evening.
Not quite peak foliage season yet, but come mid-October, at Karuizawa’s elevation, the maples would probably be just starting to turn color.
Maybe thanks to good behavior, today turned out to be crisp, gorgeous autumn weather — the perfect day for an outing.
Yui-san’s beloved car, carrying us both, glided smoothly along the highway.
Barely any shaking, riding comfortably, I hummed to myself, gazing out the window. Our overnight bags with a change of clothes were in the trunk. And inside mine, the present I’d bought for Yui-san the other day.
Giving it to her right as the date changed was today’s biggest anticipated moment.
“Sorry, making you drive on your own birthday.”
“Don’t worry about it. This car’s got self-driving, so it’s no strain at all.”
“Eh, self-driving? That’s amazing…”
When we reconnected as working adults, Yui-san’s car had changed from a black, gleaming domestic model to a white, gleaming foreign one. A hand-me-down from Yukiya-san, of course.
That Yukiya-san’s business was doing well spoke for itself, right through this very car.
Things like an ottoman built into the passenger seat, or heated and cooled seats — honestly, if I’d never met Yui-san, I might never have known cars even came equipped with things like that at all.
I looked over at Yui-san beside me. Her profile, lit by the sunlight, looked so genuinely happy that I found myself smiling too, drawn along.
Opening the snack we’d bought at the convenience store earlier, I pulled out one long, thin potato stick.
“Want a snack?”
“Mm, thanks.”
Since her hands were busy driving, I held the snack up to Yui-san’s mouth. Once I’d confirmed she’d properly eaten it, I popped one into my own mouth too.
Bright music filling the car, the clear autumn blue sky and white clouds outside. And just having you beside me is enough to make me feel this happy.
I hope, wholeheartedly, that Yui-san feels the same way. Thinking ahead to a destination neither of us had seen yet, the car carrying us drew steadily closer to our goal.
＊＊＊
The two-hour drive passed faster than I’d expected.
In the cool autumn breeze, maple leaves, turned vivid red, swayed. Taking a deep breath, filling my lungs with the scent of the trees, I felt the fatigue built up from work slowly melting away.
At this glamping facility, you don’t need to bring any equipment or food at all.
I’d specifically chosen this place because I wanted to stay in a dome tent, and it had a reputation for genuinely delicious barbecue too.
Each unit came with its own bathroom and shower, but apparently there was also a private, reservable hot spring facility a short distance away.
Since Yui-san said she wanted to bathe together, I’d already booked it in advance at check-in. A little embarrassing, but — it’s Yui-san’s birthday, so it couldn’t be helped.
Yui-san always grants my wishes, so today, I wanted to grant as many of hers as I could in return.
The villa we’d be staying at tonight had the large dome tent I’d specifically wanted, and the wood deck had two hammocks and a barbecue set.
Given the price, once inside the dome tent, the ceiling soared high overhead.
“Wow, this is amazing…!”
Inside sat a single king-size bed. Sleeping in the same bed had been Yui-san’s request.
Part of the tent was transparent, designed so you could enjoy the nature outside visually. With this, maybe even the stars would look beautiful.
I ran and dove straight onto the bed with a soft thud. From behind, I heard Yui-san laugh.
“It’s still afternoon — if you get this worked up now, will your energy even last until tonight?”
“…Because I was really looking forward to this.”
“Fufu, I bet. It’s even more amazing than I expected, honestly surprised. …Kanata, are you really sure the money’s okay?”
Setting our bags on the tent’s built-in baggage rack, Yui-san looked at me with a hint of genuine concern, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Coming from someone with such an extreme spoiling habit, that was a hard line to take seriously.
“Don’t worry. I got a huge summer bonus. Thanks to you, Yui-san.”
“Wasn’t it Yamasato-san who evaluated you? Winter bonus assessment’s on me, though.”
Saying that, Yui-san sank onto the bed too. Peering down at my face as I lay on my stomach, legs kicking idly, she grinned, sly.
“…Please go easy on me, okay?”
I said it, a little nervous, and Yui-san’s brows drooped, laughing.
“Of course. You’ve been working hard, Kanata. Always a perfect score.”
“Getting favoritism just because I’m your girlfriend… that’s kind of unsatisfying, though.”
Lips pursed, I said it, and Yui-san laughed. Lying down beside me, she gently stroked my cheek. Turning to face her too, staring straight into those black eyes, I could feel my heart racing, quick.
No matter how many years pass, I still haven’t gotten used to this person’s beauty. Looked at like that, my breath catches, instantly.
Ah, I love her. Savoring that thought, tasting it fully.
“…Cute.”
Murmuring it, Yui-san tucked my hair behind my ear.
The sound of leaves rustling in the wind reached me. The dappled sunlight filtering through the dome tent felt so pleasant that this happy afternoon almost made me want to close my eyes and fall asleep right then and there.
“…I love you, Kanata.”
Love — just that single word from you, and I can’t think about anything else at all. Hesitant, I let my gaze drop from those black eyes to her lips.
Reading my feelings from just that glance alone, Yui-san smiled, soft, and brought her face close to mine.
A kiss, just a touch. Gentle, so gentle, like something meant only to share affection, nothing more.
“I love you too…”
The moment our lips parted, it slipped out of me, almost like it had spilled naturally straight from my chest. Yui-san smiled, happy, and pulled my body into a tight, firm embrace.
That familiar, wonderful perfume. Yui-san’s beloved scent. Something deep in my chest went soft, floating.
“Once we’ve rested a bit, want to go for a walk?”
Her soft voice reached me through the ear pressed against her chest. I nodded, and Yui-san gently stroked my back.
*
Today, I have a goal. To make Yui-san’s four-years-overdue birthday the best one yet, I’d gathered information carefully, thoroughly.
After enjoying a walk through nature, we’ll barbecue and eat plenty of delicious food. After the private hot spring, we’ll relax with drinks at the bar afterward. Last time we went on a date, I’d made her drive, so I couldn’t drink then. But today, we can drink together.
By the time we get back to the tent, the date should just be about to change. Then I’ll give Yui-san that necklace, and then—
I swallowed, hard. It’s fine. The plan I’d put together is flawless.
Held in Yui-san’s arms, I found myself remembering the day I’d brought this particular topic to Ritsu-san for advice.
＊＊＊
“Sorry, Kanata-chan. Didn’t quite catch that, could you say it again?”
A weekday, after work. In a private izakaya room, beer in hand, Ritsu-san studied my face with a puzzled expression.
“Um… so, like, generally speaking, how often do couples usually… you know…”
I could feel my own voice trailing off, smaller and smaller. Ritsu-san leaned in closer, listened carefully, and then, “ahh,” her eyes widened slightly, like she’d just caught on.
“So, basically, you want to know how often couples have sex? Don’t tell me you’re being asked for it every single night and it’s become a problem — that kind of bragging?”
“R-Ritsu-san! Don’t say it that loud! And it’s not every night!”
Ritsu-san burst out cackling, and I felt steam practically hissing off my face, like some kind of locomotive.
I’d thought Ritsu-san was absolutely the right person to ask about this kind of thing, but maybe I’d made the wrong call.
Sulking, fidgeting with the hand towel, I had nothing else to do with my hands, and Ritsu-san, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, said “sorry, sorry.”
“No, I mean, come on — the moment you started dating Yui, you had to know something like this was coming, right?”
“I didn’t know that. I mean, I don’t have anything to compare it to…”
Lips pursed, I said it, and Ritsu-san narrowed her eyes, sly.
“What, did Yui complain about something?”
“It’s not that, exactly, but…”
Not being used to this kind of thing myself, I have no idea whether I’m actually satisfying Yui-san. Since she’s so much more experienced, I can’t help feeling anxious about it.
Last time I asked, she said she was satisfied — but was that actually true?
Yui-san knows I was never particularly good at this kind of thing to begin with. She’s kind, so maybe she just can’t bring herself to say it even if she’s actually dissatisfied.
If anything, just the other day, she’d said, “I can’t wait two whole weeks.” I’d been so caught up thinking about Yui-san’s birthday, I hadn’t even considered that at all.
Yui-san’s the type who expresses affection constantly, in all kinds of ways. So I figure spending nights together is probably just an extension of that same instinct.
But is it really okay for that to be entirely one-sided?
There’s no other couple around me who are both women, so I have no one to ask, and no way to know what “correct” even looks like here.
“My ex before Yui-san cheated on me, and sex was part of the reason we broke up. Of course, I know Yui-san’s not someone who’d ever cheat, but I still can’t help worrying — whether she’s actually satisfied with me. And also, um, it’s always her doing everything for me, so I wonder if that’s really okay either…”
Yui-san’s ex was apparently older than her, and probably not inexperienced the way I am. What if she thinks I’m not enough? The happier I get, the more I find myself thinking things like that.
Munching on salted edamame, Ritsu-san blinked, wide-eyed.
“That’s what you’re worried about? That’s obviously fine. There’s no way Yui thinks she wants you to do more for her, not even a little bit…”
“I-is that how it works?”
I asked back, and Ritsu-san took a big gulp of beer, then grinned, sly, like she’d just thought of something. I recognized that look — a bad feeling crept in.
“Come to think of it, you’re staying over for Yui’s birthday, right? In that case… why not try pushing Yui down yourself?”
“Eh?”
Never expecting to hear something like that, I froze, startled. Push her down…? Me… pushing down Yui-san…?
The moment I pictured it, I could feel my face going hot, fast. Could I actually do something like that, to Yui-san of all people?
The first time I ever slept with Yui-san… it’s true, I was the one who pushed for it. But back then, I didn’t even know yet how weak I was to alcohol, and I think being that thoroughly drunk had just made me bold.
Sober, there’s no way I could possibly pull off something like that.
“If you want to know how Yui really feels, actions speak louder than words, don’t they? Just try it and see how she reacts.”
But, or I mean — excuses like that kept threatening to spill out.
Come to think of it, I’d made a promise to Yui-san. That on her birthday, I’d “do whatever she asked.”
There’s no way Yui-san would forget a promise like that. She’s bound to make some kind of move on the day itself.
If that’s the case, maybe taking the initiative myself, going first, wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Whether I could actually pull it off — that’s a separate question, for now.
“I’ll… try my best. As far as I can manage.”
At that, Ritsu-san burst out laughing, delighted.
Easy for you to say, since it’s not your problem, I thought, puffing my cheeks out. But — honestly, if I’m being truthful with myself, just a little.
I found myself wanting to see, too. Exactly how Yui-san would react.