Episode 3: The Unusual Rooftop

“What on earth are you doing?!”

My heart nearly leapt out of my chest in shock, and my feet instinctively took a step back. That voice, I recognised it. Why was Endo-san here?

She approached me with a fierce expression.

Just like when she’d saved me before, she grabbed my arm firmly and dragged me out onto the rooftop plaza.

　If only it had been now, everything would surely have gone smoothly…

I think I must have been looking at Endo-san with an unconsciously resentful expression. She asked me, her face neither angry nor sad.

“What were you trying to do just now…?”

I’d never spoken of this feeling to anyone, nor did I intend to confide in anyone in future. I hated the thought of Endo-san, who wasn’t even a friend, sensing it, so I decided to muddle through the moment with a vague excuse.

“I like walking along the edge of the roof.”

It was a rather strained lie. Still, it was the best lie I could think of in that moment to get out of the situation.

“What were you planning to do if you died?”

Endo-san approached me, her face clearly showing anger. She had no business worrying about something like that. This was my problem; she was a complete stranger and had nothing to do with it.

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

Even though Endo-san wasn’t at fault, I snapped back, stringing together random words to blame her. But I think she’s at fault too.

　I’d felt it for ages: I really can’t stand people like Endo-san and want nothing to do with them. She might think she’s doing good, but to me she’s just a hypocrite.

Ever since that day she saved me, I’d wondered why she did it. Passing her classroom, I’d unconsciously search for her, watching her actions. Yet the more I saw of her life, the more irritated I became.

　Because Endo-san reminded me of my utterly detestable sister.

My sister would always hold my hand and say, “It’s alright. I’m on your side, Hoshizora.” Even that day when the other three family members went out for dinner without me, she came to my room while I was crying, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” over and over, stroking my head until I fell asleep.

　That day, after crying so much I was exhausted and sleepy, I still can’t forget what she said and the look on her face.

“I’ll sort things out in this house. I’ll always be on Hoshizora’s side,” she said with a smile. But it didn’t seem like a genuine smile to me; it looked like a forced smile, suppressing her pain.

What kind of ally is she if she’s suffering herself?

It made me furious to be told she’d shoulder everything in the house alone like that.

　Why did she look so pained?

Why wouldn’t she lean on me?

I suffered in a situation I couldn’t handle alone, thinking that if we both tried harder, things might change.

From that day on, my sister became consumed by her studies, greeting our parents, her friends, and me with a false smile. She was charming and well-liked by everyone. Our parents cherished her, and I grew sick of that sister, starting to avoid any contact with her.

I loved her most when she smiled genuinely, and I still search for that smile today. She was so caring, and we often played together, whether in the park or at home.

Those times were so joyful, us both laughing happily together, that I wished they could last forever.

Why did my sister become like this?

There’s only one reason.

　Because I was born flawed.

My beloved parents treated me as if I weren’t their child, and my beloved, only reliable sister began lying to me.

I detest hypocrites.
I absolutely loathe my sister.

Endo-san is the spitting image of that sister I detest so much.

When with friends, she smiles no matter what’s asked of her. But she never seems to be smiling from the heart.

　As far as I could tell, she never refused a friend’s request. She seemed content to go along with everyone else, willing to endure hurt herself if it meant maintaining peace.

‘Hypocrite’.

A word that suits both my sister and Endo-san perfectly.

She must think she’s helped me again, convinced she’s done a good deed.

Right now, I’m in a bad way. All sorts of emotions are churning inside me, and I can’t keep my irritation in check. I can usually control my emotions, but I lashed out at Endo-san, who resembles my sister.

If Endo-san hadn’t bothered to help someone like me in the first place, I wouldn’t have had to witness her life or feel this irritation.

“Are you alright…?”

Endo-san’s hand stroked my cheek. Suddenly, it felt like a chill ran down my spine, and a wave of disgust washed over me.

“Don’t touch me!”

I reflexively slapped her.

“Tears…”

Unfazed by my outburst, she murmured softly.

Tears? Checking my cheek, I realised I hadn’t noticed what was happening to my own body, likely because my head was spinning with emotion.

　I couldn’t even tell myself why I was crying. Anyway, I didn’t want Endo-san to see me like this. I tried to run away from the spot, but she grabbed my arm again.

“Let go! Don’t touch me!”

I tried to shake off her hand, but she held my arm firmly, her fingers digging into my skin a little painfully.

“If you carry on like this, you’ll have everyone worried. For now, I’m the only one here. Why don’t you stay until you’ve stopped crying? If I’m in the way, I’ll leave.”

Saying that, she handed me something in the hand she was holding.

It was a yellow handkerchief with a small floral embroidery.