Episode Five: Beloved? ―June 2033―

“Oh no, not at all. There’s that saying about men changing after three days apart, but it applies to women too, doesn’t it? Especially young girls, they absorb everything and change so quickly.”

“For better or worse, yes. As teachers, we want to guide them within our means, so they don’t change for the worse.”

“You’re still quite young yourself, Kakei-san. That’s probably why you’ve grown so much.”

Masuda-san, ever the chatterbox, once joked self-deprecatingly that her lengthy conversations often made people feel burdened or annoyed. But I wanted to disagree.

Being praised for my growth made me genuinely happy. Quite apart from Hisako-san, I respected Masuda-san as a teacher.

“By the way, changing the subject… As Uehara-san mentioned, Kakei-sensei seems terribly busy lately. If there are tasks anyone could handle, I’d be happy to take them off your hands?”

It was frustratingly immature of me to make even Masuda-sensei feel concerned.

“No, it’s fine. I suspect it’s my own inefficiency preventing work from flowing smoothly. If I could operate more efficiently, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Fundamentally… it’s a simple question, but why did you decide to start these study sessions? Answering questions on the spot is surprisingly difficult, and someone like me would prefer to prepare beforehand, so I think Kakei-san is incredibly capable. But, you see. Young people these days absolutely refuse to do work outside of office hours, don’t they?”

“…The reason was for one particular student. If a student comes to me saying ‘I want to study’, then as a teacher, I simply cannot refuse.”

　I wanted to respond to Uehara-san’s desire to learn.

From her perspective, it might be ‘a pretext to meet me legitimately’, but if she truly had no intention of studying, she’d never have suggested it in the first place, nor would she be concentrating so intently on her work.

“…Um, there’s something I’ve been wondering about…”

I didn’t think I’d said anything strange. Yet, somehow, Masuda-san looked troubled.

“Your health is one thing… but what worries me more is how often you use the phrase ‘as a teacher’. The more conscientious the teacher, the more enthusiastic they are about their role, the more likely they are to burn themselves out, both mentally and physically.”

I was taken aback by this unexpected remark.

“I don’t consider myself overzealous. I’m simply doing what needs to be done.”

“I’d like you to be careful that doesn’t become overwork for you, Kakei-san. Pupils are far more mature than we realise, and we are far more immature than they think. Let’s try to relax a little more and take things at a more leisurely pace.”

I’m well aware of my own immaturity. That’s precisely why I feel I must work harder than most. Am I mistaken about something?

“Thank you for your concern. But this is a time when I simply must push myself. I believe that with a little more time, I’ll grow accustomed to these days and become more efficient in my work.”

Both Masuda-san and Uehara-san are incredibly kind. To avoid causing them worry, I must conduct myself more properly as a teacher.

Masuda-san wore a gentle smile.

“You’re as earnest as ever, Kakei-san. But I suppose that’s precisely why you’re so popular with the pupils.”

“Eh? Well, earnest or not… I’m often called a ‘stiff, inflexible, dull teacher who doesn’t get jokes’ and the pupils tend to poke fun at me.”

Even if it was flattery, I couldn’t take it at face value. Even granting that, recently, students have finally started approaching me more often, considering their attitude in class and the poor attendance at study sessions until two months ago, I couldn’t believe I was a popular teacher.

“That was before, wasn’t it? Now, no matter how anyone looks at it, I think you’re clearly beloved by the students.”

“…Beloved? That can’t be true. I… I can’t have bright, cheerful conversations like Masuda-san, and I’m not confident I properly see each student as an individual.”

If it were just greetings, that might be one thing, but this personality of mine – unable to initiate conversation with students or keep it lively – hasn’t changed since my own school days.

It’s difficult to understand a student’s inner world if they don’t open up, and even if they did talk, I wouldn’t have the confidence to offer sound advice.

“Ufufu, I don’t think the standard for being admired is how close you are to your students. It’s how much they trust you, isn’t it?”

“Trust…”

I quietly mulled over this idea, one that hadn’t occurred to me.

“I believe that’s precisely why Kakei-san was selected as form tutor this year. Please, do have confidence in yourself.”

　Masuda-san said this, patting my shoulder. Her plump, wrinkled hand felt wonderfully warm.

Afterwards, her words swirled round and round in my head, making it impossible to focus on the task before me.

If only more pupils could overcome their reluctance towards me and put more effort into Japanese and their studies, as a teacher, nothing could make me happier.

I felt compelled to try harder, not out of a sense of duty, but from the heart.