Episode 71: Next, I’ll buy you a ring

Before me, a diamond necklace swayed. The orange room lamp cast a faint glow over the room, and the mattress creaked under the weight of two bodies.

When I realised, I had been pushed down onto the bed.

Dazed, I stared into Yui-san’s dark eyes as she lay on top of me. Her long, silky black hair, spilling over, tickled my neck.

“Ah, um, Yui-san…?”

My heart pounded so fiercely I thought it might burst from within my chest. My whole body felt hot, as if my blood were boiling.
She looked up at me, smiling faintly, and gently stroked my cheek.

“What is it, Kanata?”

“What are you doing…?”

I knew it was a clumsy question. I wasn’t so inexperienced as to not understand what she was about to do to me.
Even so, I couldn’t help but be startled. Because it was so utterly sudden.

　After we’d confessed our feelings, we’d walked hand in hand back to the room from the private beach.
I think I was floating on air, utterly overjoyed to have finally become Yui-san’s girlfriend.

Sitting on my bed, I’d said something like, “We really should have gone for a double bed, shouldn’t we?” Then, Yui-san’s hand, which had gently touched my shoulder, simply pushed me down onto the bed.

　Honestly, it was unexpected. I knew Yui-san was the impulsive type, of course.

“…Don’t you like it?”

Her gentle eyes peered into mine. Her warm palm gently lifted my T-shirt and touched my side, so I hurriedly grabbed that mischievous hand to stop her.

“W-weren’t you going to do nothing?”

“I did say it depended on you, didn’t I?”

She smiled brightly as she said this, and I, flustered, let my gaze wander.

When I said we should get a double room, it meant I wanted to sleep together, not that I was inviting her in that way.
I wasn’t mentally prepared. It had been years since I’d been with anyone, not just Yui-san… and I’d never been particularly good at sex anyway, so my body stiffened with tension.

　Yui-san gazed down at me, tenderly stroking my cheek with her fingers, her eyes simply waiting for my reply. My heart pounded steadily. With every breath, my chest rose and fell, and I felt embarrassed that my nervousness might show.

“…Yui-san.”

I reached out and touched her smooth cheek with my palm.

To be honest, I was hesitating a little. It’s true we care for each other, but before that, Yui-san has a fiancé, and this relationship — in the eyes of society at large — is certainly not something to be commended.

The desire to make you mine right now wrestles with the guilt of knowing that a physical relationship would lead us into an ethically unforgivable situation.

　Back in university, I had once been intimate with Yui-san knowing she had a fiancé, but that was because I thought it would be the last time… Now, it’s different.

If it were just mutual affection, and we avoided physical intimacy, then even if Yui-san had a fiancé, we wouldn’t have to worry about the law.

Without hiding my tangled emotions, I looked at Yui-san. Perhaps sensing my hesitation, she smiled gently.

“…Are you worried about me and Shinji?”

“…Just a little.”

“I’m sorry for making you anxious. It’s alright. You don’t need to worry about anything, Kanata. …I’ll take full responsibility.”

Hearing that, I shook my head from side to side. I couldn’t let Yui bear it alone.
Having decided we would be together no matter what, I would follow you wherever you went. If this relationship is a sin, then when the time comes to face punishment, I’ll be there too.

I don’t care what society thinks. I don’t care if people point fingers.
I want to be with Yui-san. I want our hearts and bodies to be connected. Until spring? — I can’t wait that long either.

“…May I hold you?”

Asked so gently, I nodded. Yui-san smiled happily. Wrapping my arms around her neck, I drew her closer to accept the tender lips descending upon me.

Oh dear, my heart is pounding terribly. With every shift in angle, every brush of our lips, I felt a deep, throbbing heat rising within my stomach.

Her soft, supple lips felt wonderful. Not the scent of perfume, but Yui-san’s own scent after bathing. With each kiss, I felt a growing numbness deep within my head.

　Gently, the palm of her left hand traced from my side to my hipbone, then stroked up the thigh peeking out from my shorts.
A shiver ran down my spine the instant I noticed something felt off.

Come to think of it, Yui-san… her nails should be long now, shouldn’t they…

I seized the wrist that had been caressing her thigh and pulled it away. Noticing this, Yui-san—thinking perhaps I was stopping her — stopped her hand abruptly and slowly parted the lips that had been touching.

I brought that left hand I’d pulled up before my eyes and stared at it intently. I traced the middle and ring fingers, tinged with pale pink, as if to confirm them with my fingertips.
　Those fingertips were smooth and neatly rounded, just like when we were university students.

So this was the unfamiliar sensation I felt when I held her hand. I stared intently into Yui-san’s dark eyes.

“…Yui-san, did you perhaps intend to do this from the start?”

When I pointed it out, Yui-san laughed innocently like a child caught playing a prank and stuck out her tongue.

“Caught?”

Seeing her laugh without a trace of remorse, the tension drained from my shoulders.

That’s right. Yui-san had always been like this. Always reading two or three moves ahead of me, meticulous and cunning.

“…You’re such a lecher, Yui-san.”

Saying that to hide my embarrassment, Yui-san squeezed my hand tightly, then pushed me onto the bed.

“That’s nothing new, is it? I told you to be prepared. You knew what kind of person I am, yet you didn’t separate the rooms. It’s your own fault.”

Saying that, Yui-san laughed. But perhaps, somewhere deep down, I had hoped this would happen too.

　This time, I surrender. I’ve lost. It’s pointless to struggle against Yui-san. She’s so much, much better at this than I am.
So today, I’ll just be quiet and let you love me.
Resigned, I pulled her closer with my free hand, and Yui-san smiled happily.

＊＊＊

The air conditioning should be on, yet my whole body felt unbearably hot.
I wrapped my arms around her back and clung to her. It had been so long since I’d done something like this, I’d felt a little anxious… but it seems that worry was unfounded. The body is incredibly honest, it seems.

　Gentle yet relentless, those middle and ring fingers held me captive, no escape possible. My breath grew shallow and rapid, a sweet, tingling pleasure spreading through my core, coaxing a whimpering sound from my lips.

——Was sex ever this good…?

I couldn’t think straight anymore. Kiss after kiss, suffocating yet blissful, my vision began to flicker.

“Yu…i…san…”

Between the words that slipped out unbidden, I stammered her name over and over. Her heated black eyes narrowed gently.

“…Does it feel good?”

I nodded vigorously at her tender question.
My heart and body were completely filled with Yui-san. I was so happy I felt like I might go mad.

　Her intense gaze fixed upon me made my chest ache. It felt so good, my whole body shivered uncontrollably. With every tremor, I couldn’t stop the sweet, pleading sounds escaping my lips against my will.
Yui-san was seeing everything about me. Realising this, I felt embarrassed and turned my face away.

My body was burning. Burning, burning, unbearably so. The limit was almost upon me.

“Kanata, look at me. Show me your face properly.”

Hearing my name, her right hand gently stroked my cheek. Tears welled up instinctively, blurring my vision.

“Yui-san, I… I can’t…”

Breathless, I gripped Yui-san’s T-shirt tightly with trembling fingers, signalling my limit.
　Unaccustomed to the sensation, I was scared. Wanting reassurance, I reached out for her embrace. Yui-san gave a soft laugh and looked straight into my wet eyes.

“Hmm… Can you hold on just a little longer?”

“Eh…?”

I hadn’t expected her to say that and looked at Yui-san in surprise. Then Yui-san smiled mischievously.

“I-I can’t, Yui-san, I really can’t anymore…”

Despite telling me to hold on, her fingers showed absolutely no mercy.
I was terrified of being swept away by the waves of pleasure crashing over me. I bit my lip, trying desperately to endure that frustrating sensation of being so close yet so far, of it teasingly coming and going.

“Hey, Kanata. I’ve been wondering about this for ages. Can I ask? …While we were apart, did you… sleep with someone else?”

“Why bring that up now…”

“…That’s why I’m asking now. Tell me, Kanata. You haven’t shown that adorable face to anyone else, have you?”

　I could see the flames of jealousy blazing brightly in the depths of those eyes looking down at me — my chest tightened painfully.

I shook my head desperately from side to side. Of course not. Because I’ve only ever loved you.
The only person in the world I ever want to be with is you.

“N-no one… has ever held me like this. For me, it’s only you, Yui-san… Please… don’t be cruel to me anymore…”

I managed to say that, barely able to breathe. Then, Yui-san smiled as if deeply relieved, and then — she pulled me tightly into her right arm.

I wrapped my arms around her neck too, pulling her close, closer. I couldn’t hold back any longer. My whole body was trembling violently. I simply couldn’t endure it any further.

“…I’m glad. I’m sorry for being so mean. …It’s alright now.”

Alright now. At the same moment she said those words, I felt something surge deep within me, and I couldn’t help but cry out.

Suddenly overwhelmed by the “limit” that had come upon me, I felt a sudden fear.

　Before I could even say “Wait,” I was pushed to the limit so abruptly that I couldn’t help myself — I sank my teeth into that white shoulder peeking out from under the T-shirt.

＊＊＊

“Kanata. Hey, Kanata, please. Please cheer up. Face me.”

I turned my face away from Yui-san, who was hugging me tightly from behind.

Yui-san, who had been desperately trying to cheer me up since earlier, kept pressing her lips against my shoulder and my sulking cheek, repeating “I’m sorry.”

“But… Yui-san, you were really mean.”

“I won’t be mean anymore. Promise?”

I turned back, glaring at Yui as she apologised desperately.

I’d been planning to complain about all the mean things she’d done, but when I noticed the red, swollen bite mark on her shoulder, I clamped my mouth shut.

It was completely unconscious — but apparently, I’d done it again.

“I’m sorry, Kanata. What would make you forgive me?”

My gaze was drawn to the necklace swaying on Yui-san’s pure white chest as she peered up at me, looking dejected. I gently tugged the chain with my fingertips.

“…This is mine, right? If you give it back, I’ll forgive you.”

At that, Yui-san’s eyes widened for a moment, then she chuckled softly.

“Who was it that threw it back at me again?”

“…I only lent it to you, Yui-san.”

Lent it? That’s a lie. That day I chose to part ways, I returned it to your chest, pouring all my feelings into it. How could I ever forget?

“Was that it? Well then, I suppose I must give it back to you, Kanata.”

Yui reached behind her neck without hesitation and removed the necklace.
Then, smiling brightly, she slipped it back around my neck.
I felt the warmth of Yui’s palm pressed gently against my chest.

“This… belongs to you, Kanata.”

Deep within my chest, a warmth slowly spread. At last, everything was back to how it should be. The lost four years were immense, and we took many detours, but here I am, back in your arms once more.

“I absolutely won’t give it back now, you know.”

Saying that, Yui-san smiled happily, then took my left hand and kissed my ring finger.

“…Next time, I’ll buy you a ring.”

A ring…? My heart skipped a beat at the suggestive remark.

“What exactly does that mean…?”

“Exactly what it means.”

Exactly what it means… you mean that? Asking any deeper felt somehow embarrassing, so I clung tightly to her chest to hide my flushed face.
The narrow single bed groaned with a creak.

“Sleeping together… it really is a bit cramped, isn’t it?”

“That’s why I said a double would be fine.”

Holding me tightly around the waist, Yui giggled softly. With our bodies pressed together so closely, a sense of security washed over me, and drowsiness began to creep in.
It felt like a waste to sleep. I wanted to stay like this forever and ever.

“I don’t want to go back… I want to stay with you forever.”

My true feelings slipped out. Tomorrow, when I go back to Tokyo, we’ll have to return to separate homes. Without your warmth, I don’t think I can sleep properly alone anymore.

“Let’s live together again.”

“Hehe… But… our addresses… the company would find out, wouldn’t it…?”

“Then, just come and stay over at weekends. Then we can watch films together again, like we used to.”

“Hmm… That sounds nice… again… together…”

　Perhaps enveloped in happiness beyond measure, I couldn’t fight the drowsiness and my consciousness drifted further and further away.
Noticing my state, Yui gently stroked my back.

“…It’s alright to sleep now. Goodnight, Kanata.”

Hearing that beloved, gentle voice call my name — before I could even reply with “goodnight” myself, I found I had already fallen into a deep sleep.

My first trip to Okinawa, my first business trip, at the end of summer, brought me unforgettable memories and a dearly beloved lover.

I shall never leave you again. Until this heart stops beating, I shall remain by your side.

Whatever hardships lie ahead, if I am with Yui, I am certain we can overcome them.

It was the summer of my twenty-fourth year that gave me such feelings.