Episode Twenty-Six: Next Year, and the Year After That Too, I’ll Keep Making the Same Wish
Alone together now, in the quiet living room.
“Um, Yui-san.”
I called out to her back, watching Yukiya-san off. She turned, and her brows drew together, sharp and obvious.
“Kanata.”
Called by name, she closed the distance.
“…Why did you unlock the door?”
“Huh?”
“Did you actually check the monitor? You can’t just trust some man you don’t know and open the door like that.”
I hadn’t checked the monitor. Because I’d just woken up, and I’d assumed it was her. A completely fair point, honestly, and I had nothing to say back.
“…Sorry. I thought you were home.”
Gently, I was pulled into her chest. That sweet scent of hers. The smell that always puts me at ease, the one I love most.
“It’s Yuki-nii’s fault too, but seeing a man’s shoes at the entrance startled me a little.”
“I’ll check properly next time.”
“Mm, you’d better.”
Holding me tight, refusing to let go, Yui-san nuzzled her face into my neck, and it tickled, just a little.
“Yui-san, come on, let go already. I bought cake, let’s eat it together.”
“Before that, there’s something I want to ask.”
“What is it?”
“…How was meeting Yuki-nii? Did you fall for him?”
Asked with a faintly sulky edge, and I couldn’t help a small laugh. She should know perfectly well I’m not the type to fall for someone that easily.
“He was more handsome than I expected, honestly, but… I’m not really the type to have my head turned that easily. Come on, let’s put that aside and celebrate. Ritsu-san bought champagne for you, you know.”
Visibly relieved, Yui-san smiled and gently took my chin. Before I even registered it, something soft pressed against my lips, and I let myself accept the light, gentle kiss.
Lately, Yui-san really has stopped holding back at all. Though I suppose I’m just as much at fault, letting myself accept it.
“Um… Yui-san?”
“…I wanted to come home this whole time. Kept thinking, over and over, I should’ve just turned tonight down. I wanted to see you.”
Hearing her admit weakness for the first time, my breath nearly caught.
Looked at that directly, told something like that, it felt like being pushed down into some deep, bottomless sea.
No matter how much I struggled, I don’t think I could ever surface again on my own.
I’d been waiting for her to come home too, this whole time. Wanting to see her, wanting to see her, unbearably.
Giving in to that fondness, I hugged her back, tight.
I’m glad we got to spend this important day together. I couldn’t help praying, from the bottom of my heart, that she’d have a happier year ahead than anyone else in the world.
*
Two champagne glasses lined up on the coffee table, and two shortcakes. Mine’s ginger ale, of course. Next year, I’ll finally be able to drink the same thing — so I’ll hold off for this year.
“So… what is it you actually want, Yui-san?”
She’d said she’d tell me on the day itself — what could it possibly be? Wanting to hear it already, I stared at her, sitting beside me, and her kind eyes softened, narrowing gently.
“Since we’ve come this far, why don’t you guess?”
“No fair, none of that. I’ve been thinking about it this whole time and genuinely have no idea.”
I was still a little frustrated I hadn’t been able to prepare anything because of it. Jealous of the pale blue paper bag sitting at the edge of my vision — I know it’s pointless, but I still don’t like it.
Noticing my sulking, Yui-san laughed. Her hand reached out, curling around the back of my neck, pulling me close.
I’ve learned, from kissing her a handful of times now, this is her habit. The forcefulness of that arm, fixing my body in place so I can’t run, sent a warmth flaring deep in my chest.
Sure enough, right as I opened my mouth to complain, she sealed my lips shut with her own.
Doing this so often, I think Yui-san genuinely just likes kissing. Genuinely too practiced at it, her experience showing through in a way that irritates me, just a little.
Frustrating as it is, kissing Yui-san feels good. That’s exactly why I can’t refuse her.
Nothing like anyone I’ve dated before. I’m always, completely, at the mercy of her lips.
When our lips parted, Yui-san stared straight into my eyes and said it.
“Do you really want to know what I want?”
“…I want to know.”
I nodded, small, and Yui-san gently traced my wet lips with her thumb.
“…I want all of you, Kanata.”
“Eh…!?”
All of me — what does that even mean?
I could feel my face heating up. I couldn’t process the meaning of the words. What did that mean? My head spun, dizzy with confusion.
She took my hand, pressing a small kiss to the back of it, her mischievous eyes fixed on me.
“Not allowed?”
My body was pushed back, easily, sinking into the sofa.
Wait, no way, hold on, is she serious? Was this her plan from the very start? I don’t understand. I haven’t even showered yet — no, that’s not the point.
What do I do, we’re not even dating, this isn’t something we should be doing. I don’t understand Yui-san at all anymore, not one bit.
Without waiting for my answer, I felt her lips press against my neck. After a light graze of teeth, she sucked, a soft, wet sound.
“…Yui-san… w-wait…!”
Weak, barely more than a whisper, that was all I managed to force out. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my face away from her.
Our hands, laced together at some point without my noticing, I pushed back against desperately, and heard Yui-san laugh, soft, and, wary, I opened my eyes.
Looming over me, she was smiling, clearly entertained.
“…You want me to wait until you’re ready? I can wait as long as it takes.”
Called out on it like that, I could feel my face flushing scarlet, like a boiled octopus. Idiot, me — why did I say wait instead of stop?
“…You idiot, Yui-san. You can’t do this kind of thing. It’s against the rules…”
I said it, voice shaking, and Yui-san burst out laughing.
Sorry, sorry, that must’ve startled you, she said, and pulled our joined hands to help me sit back up.
“That was mean, teasing me like that…”
If I’d just accepted it back there, what exactly had Yui-san been planning to do?
I don’t know. But I don’t think that look in her eyes had been a joke, not really.
I think she’d noticed me getting scared, and pulled back because of it, that’s all… probably, anyway.
Yui-san gently stroked my puffed-out cheek. Sorry, did I scare you? she asked again, and I shook my head, side to side — no, that’s not it.
“I really do want to celebrate properly. Not as a joke — please, just tell me. What do you actually want?”
“…Then, properly this time. Will you listen to my real request?”
She took my hand gently, and I felt her curl her pinky around mine. Her smoothly rounded, burgundy-polished nails looked strangely alluring.
“If it’s something I can actually do.”
Still working to calm my racing heart, I looked back into her serious eyes.
“I want you to promise me something.”
“A promise? Not a thing?”
“Yeah.”
Ah — so that’s why she’d said I didn’t need to prepare anything.
“…Promise me you’ll celebrate my birthday again next year. And I’ll ask the same thing the year after, and every year after that… promise me again, each time. No matter what happens, on this one day, I want you to be the first person to say happy birthday to me.”
I was thrown, completely — I never expected Yui-san to make a wish this earnest, this vulnerable.
“…Is something that simple really all you want?”
“Yeah.”
Watching her smile, satisfied, something in my chest tightened, painfully, for reasons I couldn’t quite place. Why would she want a promise like this so badly?
—It almost felt like she believed that without a promise like this, this relationship between us would eventually just come apart.
“…I promise. Next year too, I’ll be the first to celebrate your birthday, Yui-san.”
Trying to chase away that unease, I looked back into her eyes, just as steady, refusing to lose ground, and said it.
Yui-san smiled, genuinely happy, and pressed her lips to our linked pinkies.
“…It’s a promise, Kanata.”
In that moment, our pinkies linked together, I believed — without a shred of doubt — that whether it was next year, or the year after, or long after that, for as long as she kept wanting it, I would keep that promise, forever.
*
I wish I’d told her properly, back then.
That night, you said you wanted all of me — but the truth is, from long before that, every part of me already belonged to you, and no one else.