How long had we been on the call now?
Having learnt about the speakerphone function from Mashiro, I’d placed my phone on the floor rather than holding it to my ear, chatting with her while lying on my futon.
I clicked the button on the cheap table clock to light it up. The time had already passed midnight, now showing 1:20am.
　We had been chatting away, seemingly without tiring, for nearly three hours.

‘Haaaaaah… Haaah.’

I could tell over the line that Mashiro had yawned widely.
Was it about time?
Personally, I wanted to talk to Mashiro some more. But it was late, and today, having crossed into the next day, was Friday. Come morning, we’d have to go to school as usual.

“Mashiro, it’s about time—”
‘Speaking of which, Amamiya-san, ah!’

Our words overlapped.
Mashiro’s voice had that distinctly sleepy, slurred quality. It was utterly adorable to hear. That she was trying to bring up a topic despite looking so drowsy made me feel inexplicably, overwhelmingly happy right now.

“What? Go on, talk.”
‘Ah, thank you. Amamiya-san, you said you buy your own stamps, but do you know how to buy them?’

Ah.

“That was my excuse for calling you, asking you about that.”
‘Eh? You didn’t need to make up such a strange excuse. If you’d just said you wanted to talk because you wanted to chat, I’d have been happier, you know.’

　Her drawn-out, breathy way of speaking.

Ah, Mashiro’s brain must be all fuzzy right now.
Her fluffy way of talking makes my cheeks ache from smiling. And maybe because her brain isn’t working properly, she says things that make me grin straight away.

“So, if I want to hear Mashiro’s voice again, is it okay to call you?”
‘………’
“Mashiro?”
‘……… Mmm, it’s fine, you know.’
“Mashiro, are you going to sleep? You must be tired, right?”
‘What time is it now?’
“It’s already half past one.”
‘Fwaaahh…’

Another yawn reached my ears.
Her consciousness seemed to be nearing its limit.

“Mashiro, I’m going to end the call now. You’ve got school tomorrow, thanks for staying up with me. Go to sleep now. Goodnight.”

With that, I tried to end our late-night girls’ chat (?) that had flown by. Mashiro wasn’t spoilt, nor was she a girl who couldn’t read the room. So normally, at a time like this, she would have readily agreed, replied “Goodnight”, and ended the call.
Normally, that is.

　But this was not the current Mashiro.

‘Nooo! I still wanna chat with Amamiya-san!’
“Hmph.”

Her voice was higher than usual. This Mashiro, whining so adorably at me.
Half-asleep, her mind fuzzy, Mashiro was being terribly clingy.
Facing this current Mashiro, whose mental age seemed to have regressed, I gently reasoned with her, not wanting to be outdone.

“But you’re sleepy now, aren’t you, Mashiro? If you don’t sleep, you won’t be able to get up tomorrow morning, you know?”
『………』
“Mashiro?”
『……Ugh, but I have to teach Amamiya-san how to buy stamps』
“That doesn’t have to be right now. Let’s just sleep for now, alright?”
‘Nooo, I don’t want tooo.’

A spoilt brat, a clingy little thing.
So utterly adorable, so hopelessly precious. Is this what it means to ‘like’ someone? Once you admit you ‘really like’ them, every single one of their gestures and attitudes becomes etched into your memory. And that preciousness just gushes forth from deep within your chest.

　Eventually, while we kept going back and forth about sleeping or not,

『……sleep, sleep……』

A steady rhythm could be heard.
It seemed Mashiro had fallen asleep with the call still connected to me.

“Oh dear, Mashiro, you’re hopeless.”

We should be the same age. Yet somehow, just now, I felt an urge to protect Mashiro.
It’s the maternal instinct within me. Mashiro is someone I care for, yet she also feels like a younger sister, even a daughter.
When Mashiro clings to me, wanting to talk in that soft, whiny voice, she possesses such irresistible charm.

My heart races.
　Even though it’s late at night, and Mashiro isn’t actually here in front of me.
I find myself imagining Mashiro burying her face in my chest, clinging to me physically in a hug.
I want to talk more! I want to be with Amamiya-san more! I like Amamiya-san! I love you!
My body begins to heat up at the sight of Mashiro clinging to me relentlessly in my imagination.

Ah, typically, right now, I’m floating on air.

“Mashiro, I like you.”

I’m floating.
Because I’m floating on this heat, I can say things like this without shame right now.

‘Sshh, sshh’

There’s no reply from Masahiro.
Seizing the chance, I pour out all these pent-up feelings, this flood of emotion, to my heart’s content.
Whispering to Masahiro through the phone call.

　Like imprinting.
Over and over, the same words. Whispering ‘I like you’.

“I like you, Mashiro.”
“Are you listening? Mashiro. I’m saying I like you.”
“I like—you—”
“I love you.”
“I was so happy you said you like me, Mashiro. I like you too.”
“I really like Mashiro. This… we’re mutual, right?”
“Ah, I like you. I like Mashiro.”
“In this world, I only like Mashiro.”

Each time I say the word ‘like’, my heart grows lighter.
The dark, sticky, clinging, writhing, ugly emotions I’d accumulated until now steadily shrink.
For me, Mashiro is that warm light.
The name of that warm light was ‘like’.
But it wasn’t just ‘like’ – all sorts of positive words applied to this warm light.

　It supports me.
It envelops me.
It keeps me from being alone.

The light grows brighter by the moment.

I cannot live without that light anymore.

Each time I utter “I like you,” the warm light draws closer to those dark, sticky emotions.

“Mashiro, don’t ever leave me alone again.”
“Because I like you, I’ll always like you, Mashiro, so don’t make me feel lonely.”
“Always, always, from now on, Mashiro, please keep liking me too.”

Eventually, the light touched the dark emotion.
The true nature of that dark emotion was possessiveness. But even that was only a small part of it.

“It’s all because of you, Mashiro. I adore you, Mashiro. Thank you for changing me.”
“But Mashiro, you must take responsibility.”
“If I’d stayed shut away in my shell, living a dull life, I don’t think my wounds would have grown any deeper. Yet because of you, Mashiro, I chose a path where I might get hurt.”
“I tried not to care about people, but you alone poured kindness into me.”
“I like you, I love you, I love Mashiro more than anything in the world.”

Whispering these words, which flowed endlessly, into my phone, I found my hand reaching unconsciously towards my lower abdomen.
Seeking pleasure without permission. I convinced myself this was another side of me I didn’t know, surely Mashiro’s influence too.

‘Mmm… ……… Shut up.’

I heard Mashiro’s sleep-talk.
　Adorable.
Perhaps I should get some sleep too. My own thoughts were clearly beyond normal levels. Was this what they called late-night excitement?

“Goodnight, Mashiro.”

I didn’t expect a reply.
I reached for the button to end the call.
Just before I pressed it―――.

“…Fuheheh, I like you, Amamiya-san.”

……

I could tell the corners of my mouth were turned up.
Expressing emotion had never come easily to me. The poker face forced upon me since childhood had become second nature. I’d forgotten how to show my true feelings.

But thanks to Mashiro, I can change.
I am changing.

Thank you, Mashiro.

I drifted off to sleep, enveloped in happiness.

THUD!!!

　The shock jolted me awake.

A dull ache shot through my stomach.

“Oi, wake up.”
“Huh?!”

This time, a thudding vibration hit my head.
I was being stomped on.
Someone was using their foot on my head.

I opened my eyes.
Still sleepy. Lack of sleep. My vision was blurry.
But I had to get up.

Because my father was standing before me.

　The room was faintly lit.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the clock on the table; it was just before six.
Apparently, I’d been sleeping soundly, without even dreaming.

Thud!

My stomach was kicked again.

“Ugh!”

The sudden, sharp impact made me retch.

“Dad, stop it.”
“Awake, are we? Can’t find your wallet. Hand it over.”

Dad crouched beside me, still sprawled on the floor, holding out his hand demanding money.
It’s fine. This is par for the course. I’m used to it.

Ah, but why?

Because yesterday had been so utterly fulfilling for me, so completely satisfying.
Because I was happy.

　The sudden drop made tears well up from the morning.

But no. I must suppress my emotions.
If I cry in front of this person.

“Oi, what are you crying for?”

He grabbed my hair.
It hurts. Stop. It’s scary.
The emotions I usually kept in check are now beyond my control.
The tears won’t stop.

“It’s like I’m doing something wrong to you. Hey, that’s not it, is it? I’m just here to borrow money from you like always. We’re family, so your money isn’t just yours, is it? You understand that, right? I’ve told you this many times before?”

He stares at me from close range.
His eyes terrify me.
I immediately look away.

“I’ll get my purse, just wait a moment.”

I take my purse out of my bag and hand it to Dad.

“Eh? Is that all?”

What Dad pulled out of my purse was a single note.

It was the ten thousand yen I’d received from Mashiro yesterday.

Suddenly, a flood of conflicting emotions surged through me.

It felt like the price for yesterday’s memories.
Money Mashiro had given me for no reason at all, no expectation of anything in return.

For some reason, I desperately didn’t want that ten thousand yen taken.

“Huh?”

Before I knew it, I’d grabbed my father’s arm.

He hit me.
He kicked me.
He grabbed me.
He stamped on me.

And to top it all off,

“You don’t need this rubbish, do you? Don’t waste money on this sort of thing, it’s a waste.”

Father picked up my mobile phone, which had been lying beside the futon.

“This is confiscated.”
“…Eh?”
“Selling it would fetch a bit of money, wouldn’t it?”

I hadn’t been able to pay for the phone before, but that was undeniably money I’d received from my ex-boyfriend and others, something I’d bought myself.
Before, I’d thought it was fine if it got confiscated.

But now.

Last night, it had gained meaning.
It had become something I didn’t want to let go of anymore.

“N-no. Stop it, give it back!”
“Shut up.”
“Ugh.”

He kicked me in the stomach again.
I fell flat on my backside.

My body wouldn’t move.

It should have been something I wanted back at any cost.
But I hated the pain so much, my body just froze.

　Tears fell onto the floor, one after another.

In the end, Father appeared suddenly like a storm, took everything precious from me, and vanished from this place.

In such a short time, my heart was breaking.

I skipped school.
I shut myself away at home.