Episode Ten: Please Understand Me ―June 2033―

“…Please calm down. First, sit down and let’s talk properly.”

“I like her so much, yet she won’t even look my way! And I’m not getting any special treatment among the students either! If you’re a ‘teacher’, you should consider your students’ feelings more!”

“…I am fully aware of my shortcomings as a teacher and I do apologise for that. However, I cannot give you special treatment, Uehara-san.”

There are so many ways Uehara-san has helped me.

That night when I was reeling from the shock of Hisako-san’s marriage, she listened to me and stayed by my side.

How much solace did I find in her straightforward affection when I was consumed by inferiority towards my younger brother?

　It was also thanks to Uehara-san organising study sessions and inviting everyone that more pupils began to look up to me – someone who had been dismissed as dull and uninspiring, constantly looked down upon by students for my inadequacies.

How could I not feel gratitude towards her? How could I not give her special consideration? To be honest, there were moments when my resolve wavered.

　But I strive with all my might never to voice it or show it in my attitude. Because that would directly amount to favouritism towards a specific pupil.

“Why…? Why⁉”

No matter how much it might hurt her, as long as I am a ‘teacher’, I cannot accept her feelings.

“I like you so much, why can’t you understand⁉”

Uehara-san’s voice trembles. Her large eyes were wet.

I know Uehara-san’s childish side. But this was the first time I’d seen her bare her emotions like this, screaming out.

“…Even if I wanted to understand, this is something I simply cannot do.”

“…I don’t get it. Even with a student crying right in front of you, you’re sticking to the rules ‘as a teacher’, right?”

A look of resignation, almost like she’d given up.

　—I certainly didn’t want to see her like this.

“Uehara-san, I…”

Ever since that spring at sixteen when I first realised I was in love, I’d lived my whole life unable to tell anyone about my feelings.

“…I…”

Whilst watching everyone around me chatter excitedly or enjoy themselves talking about love, I’d just kept hiding my feelings. There were many painful times.

“…I, too…”

　I do envy Uehara-san, who acts on her feelings without worrying about others’ eyes or her position, but I simply cannot do that.

――There have been times I found myself conscious of Uehara-san with feelings I knew were absolutely forbidden.

But I kept pretending not to notice. Because I absolutely must not acknowledge them.

Given my position as a teacher, it’s difficult enough to even speak lightly of my own feelings, let alone accept the affection of a student like her.

　Oh, no. The envy that had always lurked within my admiration, suppressed all this time, is now trying to burst out at the worst possible moment.

“…Uehara-san, you always think only of yourself, don’t you? Please try to understand my position a little.”

…I’ve done it. I’ve completely spat out my resentment towards Uehara-san, who possesses the courage and resolve to lay everything bare.

　What on earth am I doing taking it out on a child seven years my junior?

Uehara-san looked startled, but soon smiled sadly.

“The way you put it, if you weren’t my ‘teacher’, you’d seem rather fond of me?”

“That’s a misinterpretation. I’m rejecting you indirectly.”

I didn’t care anymore if she hated me.

　She was perceptive and observant, noticing everything around her, yet she alone remained oblivious to the pent-up frustration I carried. …She simply wouldn’t notice.

Her demands and my circumstances were utterly irreconcilable.

If this exchange was destined to run parallel forever, then sooner or later, we’d have to confront each other head-on like this.

Uehara-san’s beautiful face twisted.

“You’ll always be ‘Sensei’, won’t you? But I like you as a person, even when you’re not ‘Sensei’…”

“…I’ve told you the reason countless times. That I…”

“Enough! I don’t want to hear it!”

My brain instantly focused solely on calming Uehara-san, who was becoming more emotional than I’d ever seen her.

　—That must be why my reaction was delayed.

By the time I realised Uehara-san’s face was right before mine, by the moment I found myself involuntarily gasping at the beauty of her features, my lips had already been taken.