Episode Twenty-One: I Want to See High-School Yui-san
The height of summer had finally quieted down, and now, on an autumn day with a pleasant breeze cutting through, hot coffee in hand, I scanned the crowded university cafeteria, looking around.
I couldn’t find the person who’d called me here. The chat app said she’d be somewhere around this area.
“Kanata-chan! Over here, over here!”
I spotted a waving figure in the distance and waved back. The long, fluffy hair that had been dyed pink-ash all spring and summer had turned milk-tea brown.
“Ritsu-san, I didn’t recognize you with your hair changed…”
Hurrying over, I noticed a familiar head of blonde hair sitting beside her.
“Wait… why is Yuuri here with Ritsu-san?”
Slurping cup ramen, Yuuri raised a hand in greeting.
Yuuri, eating seafood noodles again. No question, this was my friend Azumi Yuuri. My closest friend at university, and the one whose place I’d taken refuge at when I fought with Yui-san and ran away from home.
But I couldn’t work out any connection for why these two would be together, and tilted my head, confused.
Noticing my puzzled look, Ritsu-san grinned.
“We got close after that whole thing, right?”
After that — meaning the running-away incident. Ritsu-san, with her absurdly wide social circle, had tracked down where I was hiding through some chain of connections, and gotten Yuuri’s contact info in the process.
Apparently that was how the two of them had started talking.
“Yuuri, you never said a word about this to me…”
“Well, you never asked.”
My shoulders slumped. Apparently Yuuri’s chat app icon or background had featured the logo of some rock band Ritsu-san also liked, and they’d hit it off from there, going to concerts together and everything.
“…So, why did you call me out here today?”
“Yui’s birthday’s next month, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Yui’s popular, you know. She gets a ridiculous number of presents every year.”
“I… imagine so.”
I could easily picture Yui-san with her arms full of gifts.
“Every year, right around this time, all the girls who like Yui start asking me what she’d actually be happy to get.”
Ritsu-san said it with a heartfelt sigh, sounding thoroughly fed up with the whole thing.
“What does that have to do with me…?”
“I figured I’d ask you ahead of time what you’re planning to get her, and steer everyone else away from picking the same thing.”
I blinked at that. Why go to that much trouble? Sure, it’s nice when gifts don’t overlap, but still.
“But I haven’t decided what to get her yet.”
“Then let me know once you have. Until then I’ll just point the other girls toward stuff Yui probably doesn’t need.”
“Um… why are you doing this for me specifically?”
“Hm? Well, that way he — I mean, she’ll be happier, right?”
It’s true, getting five of the same thing wouldn’t exactly be exciting. But why was Ritsu-san bothering to look out for me specifically like this? I tilted my head, and Ritsu-san smiled, meaningfully.
“…So, why is Yuuri here with you, Ritsu-san?”
“I was just working out our next trip with Ritsu-san. Nothing to do with you, Kanata~”
A Hokkaido travel guide sat on the cafeteria table. When I asked what “trip” meant, apparently they were planning to travel all the way to Hokkaido to catch a concert by some rock band they both liked, sightseeing on the side.
“…Feels weirdly complicated, like Ritsu-san stole Yuuri from me.”
Yuuri was supposed to be my closest friend at university, and here she was, already planning trips with Ritsu-san. I hadn’t even gone on a single trip with her myself yet.
Muttering that, Ritsu-san burst out laughing.
“I could say the exact same thing right back at you, Kanata-chan. Lately Yui’s been terrible about hanging out — and that’s because of you, isn’t it?”
Caught off guard, I flinched.
“…What do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing~”
She deflected, but I could tell — she’d hit a nerve. Ritsu-san really does watch people closely.
It’s true, actually. Ever since that day I’d begged her not to go, the frequency of Yui-san’s nights out had visibly dropped.
She hadn’t stayed out overnight once since then. Even on nights she came home late, she always came home.
Not that she’d given up going out entirely — there were still nights I found myself wondering, suspiciously, whether she’d been meeting some woman.
But I couldn’t go so far as to actually restrict her. We’re not dating.
If there’s one thing that’s been nagging at me, it’s this: since that night, she hasn’t kissed me even once.
Whether it’s because I bit her, startled by the tongue, or because something in her feelings actually shifted, I have no idea.
Yui-san hasn’t said anything about it either way. But it’s clear, at least, that she’s been prioritizing me.
For now, that was enough.
Given just a little more time, I felt like I might finally be able to glimpse the very bottom of her heart.
The reason behind her “no girlfriends” rule — it has to be somewhere back there.
I wanted to take my time properly sorting out, too, what I actually wanted to become to her.
*
Parting ways with the two of them, I headed home. Feeling like some proper afternoon tea for the first time in a while, I stopped by the cake shop near the station and bought a single roll cake. Yui-san had said she had a dinner tonight and would be late.
October tenth, next month, is Yui-san’s twenty-first birthday.
What should I get her. Someone who can have anything she wants, whenever she wants it — nothing that would actually make her happy came easily to mind.
That expensive-looking single-diamond necklace Yui-san always wears. Was that a gift from someone, after all?
It suits her pale collarbone beautifully, and I think it’s lovely.
But — for someone who changes her nail polish and accessories constantly, why does she keep wearing that one thing, and only that thing, without ever switching it out?
Back home, I peeked into the accessory tray sitting in the living room.
I already knew what I’d find. That necklace wasn’t there.
I have my part-time job, so I could technically afford to get her jewelry too, but honestly, I had no confidence I could prepare something that could top that.
“…Guess I should just ask her directly, after all…”
Knowing her, she’d probably just laugh and say she’d be happy with anything at all, whatever I gave her.
*
“I’m home~”
Yui-san got back a little past nine. Exhausted, she sighed, dropping heavily onto the sofa.
“Welcome back.”
I settled in right beside her, as if I’d been waiting. Peeking through the thin knit sweater at her collarbone, that same necklace glinted, sure enough.
“Yui-san.”
“Hm?”
She turned to look at me while pulling a silver earring free from her black hair.
“Your birthday’s next month, right? Is there anything you want?”
I’d rather give her something she actually needs than something unnecessary. I don’t have Yui-san’s knack for thoughtful gestures, so the conclusion I’d landed on was the simplest possible method: just ask directly.
“Eh? You don’t have to. I never even did anything for your birthday, after all.”
Said so easily, it irritated me. My birthday’s in April, and Yui-san hadn’t known about it back then.
But I know her birthday now, and I want to celebrate it properly.
Having that dismissed outright wasn’t something I could just let go.
“…That’s not the point. Can’t you just let me celebrate your birthday? Is that so much to ask?”
At that, Yui-san laughed and gently stroked my head. Kind eyes watched me.
“The feeling alone is already more than enough.”
“Isn’t there anything you want? Anything’s fine.”
“Hmm, let’s see…”
She thought it over for a moment, then, as if something had just occurred to her, made a small sound of realization.
“Perfume. A new bottle. You pick it out, Kanata.”
Just pick it out, that’s all, she added. What kind of request is that, I thought, my shoulders sagging.
“…Just picking it out doesn’t really count as a present, does it?”
“You should spend your paycheck on yourself instead.”
I glanced toward the bottle of perfume she always uses, sitting on the edge of the tray.
It really did look like it was running low. I’d always thought the ribbon tied around that pink bottle was cute.
But still.
“…I don’t want you to change your perfume.”
“Eh, why not?”
“I like how you smell right now, Yui-san.”
I love the sweet scent, that mix of her perfume and the gentle fragrance from her long hair. That’s exactly why I don’t want it to change. I meant it, more seriously than not.
“You like this smell? Then, want to wear the same one, Kanata?”
“No thanks. I don’t want to lose track of what you actually smell like.”
If I started wearing that scent myself, I wouldn’t be able to tell her smell apart from my own anymore.
What I like is Yui-san’s scent — not simply the perfume itself.
Insisting firmly that I didn’t want that, Yui-san smiled, pleased. “Then I won’t change it.”
“In that case, I really can’t think of anything I want…”
The diamond at her collarbone caught the light as she thought it over, glittering. Curious, my fingers reached out on their own.
Careful not to touch the stone itself, I gently tugged at the chain with my fingertips.
“…This necklace. You always wear it. Is it a gift from someone?”
At the sudden question, Yui-san’s eyes went round.
“This? I bought it myself, when I started college.”
“You bought it yourself…?”
Really? I asked, skeptical, and Yui-san smiled, mischievous. The exact smile she wears whenever she’s teasing me.
“What were you imagining, exactly? Were you jealous, by any chance?”
She leaned in close, and I pushed her shoulder back.
“I’m not jealous. I just thought it might be something sentimental, from an ex. Like, maybe a matching necklace…”
“Ahaha, no way a high schooler could afford this, obviously.”
Which meant it really was that expensive, then. The way it caught the light was clearly different from anything ordinary.
“…I see. It’s just, it’s so lovely, I got curious, that’s all.”
Honestly, I felt relieved. Careful not to let the jealousy and the relief both show on my face, I hurried to look away from her.
“Yeah? Then I’ll buy you the same one.”
“Huh? N-no, I can’t accept something that expensive. Besides, we’re talking about your present right now. Why would you give one to me?”
“Matching sets count as a present too, don’t they?”
“I’m the one who brought it up, but can we get off the necklace topic for a second? I just wondered if you kept it because it’s paired with something your ex has…”
“Hey, why do you keep bringing up my ex? Do I really seem like I’m still hung up on her?”
Asked so plainly, I nearly nodded, honestly, without thinking.
Because someone who supposedly went “all in, completely,” by her own admission, deciding to never date anyone again — that has to mean something serious happened.
And the fact that she’s kept that resolve, unchanged, ever since her first year of college — that’s got to point to something genuinely shocking.
Was she really that cute, this girl? Cuter than me? Just thinking about it made me genuinely angry.
Stuck for an answer, I stayed quiet, and Yui-san burst out laughing.
“I really am not hung up on her, so don’t make that face.”
That face — had I really been making such a displeased expression? I couldn’t tell whether her words were deflection or the honest truth.
“…Hey, Yui-san.”
“Hm?”
“Show me your graduation album. I want to see high-school Yui-san.”
At that, her eyes went round. Caught off guard by the sudden, out-of-nowhere request, she froze.
“Eh, right now?”
“Right now.”
I stared, steady, into her eyes. If she’d dated a classmate, her ex should be right there in it.
Her long lashes fluttered, blinking rapidly. I pressed her — hurry up — and Yui-san scratched her cheek, looking troubled.
I was going to see, with my own eyes, exactly how cute this girl was.
I don’t know how much Yui-san actually loved her.
But right now, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to settle for anything less than making Yui-san admit, plainly, that I’m cuter.