Episode Sixty
On the way from the station to Sereno, I kept playing one video over and over.
It was a compilation of clips from when Ibara was an idol.
Everyone has a side they don’t show others. Yamauchi-san, Hiname-chan, and Ibara too.
Everyone hides their vulnerability deep inside.
Yet, clutching their own little magic, they keep walking forward.
Just as I finished Aki-san’s daily set meal, Ibara appeared through the service entrance.
She looked normal, yet unlike usual, she didn’t approach straight away. She seemed somewhat reserved, or perhaps even frightened.
“Ibara.”
When I called out, her shoulders jerked.
“Finished your meal? Right then, shall we head back?”
“…Yeah.”
We settled the bill and walked side by side along the night road.
The air was chilly. Though the calendar said spring, February was still winter. Yet the air did feel like it was starting to warm up.
A poster for a Valentine’s Fair was stuck in the window of the cake shop along the road. Fondant au chocolat and chocolate cake.
“Valentine’s is coming up soon, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…”
“I remember trying to make friendship chocolates for Haru once and messing it up. The tempering just wouldn’t work.”
“Oh, really?”
Ibara’s reply sounded somewhat distant. But then, I wasn’t exactly keen to delve into past anecdotes myself.
Nah, forget it. Beating around the bush isn’t good.
“I spoke to Hiname-chan at work today.”
Ibara’s face lifted abruptly.
“She said she’d keep trying, even without confidence.”
“Hiname did?”
“Yeah. I thought it was pretty cool.”
I genuinely felt that way.
Hiname-chan had decided to take the stage while still hiding her anxieties and weaknesses.
What else could that be but strength?
“Did Hiname say anything else?”
“That she’d be fine even without Ibara.”
“What does that mean?”
Ibara’s mouth curved into a faint smile.
It was a vague smile, like it was covering up some immense, unfathomable loneliness.
“If she could say that, she didn’t need to ask me for help in the first place, did she?”
“Hiname-chan is amazing.”
“Yeah. Hiname-chan is an amazing idol.”
“I think I’ve become a bit of a fan.”
“Eh?”
Ibara’s expression changed.
Flustered, she grabbed my coat sleeve.
“S-Shigure-san. What does that mean? Have you started liking Hiname more than me?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Really, really?”
“Really, really.”
I stopped walking.
“Because the one I like is you, Ibara.”
Time stood still.
I was the one who stopped it.
At first, Ibara seemed not to understand what had been said.
Regular breaths escaped from her slightly parted lips.
Illuminated by the cake shop’s lights, white breath scattered into the night.
I repeated myself once more.
“I love you, Ibara.”
“…Eh? Ah… Eh…?”
Her features, as perfect as a well-made doll, crumbled into a look of flustered confusion.
Her lips open and close, open and close, gasping, her eyes sparkling like shattered jewels scattered across the sky.
How adorable, I thought.
I’d thought so ever since the day we first met, but this was the most adorable she’d been all winter.
Every day, every minute, every second, a new record.
At this rate, a world record wouldn’t be a dream. Or perhaps it already has.
“I want to stay with you, Ibara. Whether your insomnia cures or not.”
“…You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Really?”
“I wouldn’t joke about something like this.”
Tears welled in both of Ibara’s eyes.
“I’m a pain, you know?”
“I know.”
“I get jealous in an instant, I’m clingy, I’m the type who always wants to be glued to you, and surprisingly, I’m mentally fragile, I’m seven years younger, underage, and far, far more childish than Shigure-san.”
“Yeah.”
“What do you mean, ‘yeah’?”
“But I think all of that is cute, Ibara, and…… you are important to me.”
“Ugh.”
Ibara froze.
Even in the night’s darkness, the flush spreading across her cheeks was unmistakable.
Heat must have stung her tear ducts, for the corners of her eyes glistened.
“No, I still can’t believe it. This isn’t a dream, is it…?”
“Shall I pinch your cheek?”
“Yes.”
“Here.”
I pinched Ibara’s cheek.
The soft, yielding feel was pleasantly satisfying.
Ibara flashed a tearful smile.
“Ow—!”
“Yeah, I figured.”
When I released my fingers, her skin wobbled.
It was as springy as the latest convenience store dessert.
“So this is real…?”
“Probably, yes.”
“But you said you weren’t confident you could stay with me forever.”
“I don’t. I don’t, but I think I’m okay with that.”
If you can’t move forward without confidence, you’d never take a single step.
I want to be someone who can move forward while embracing my weaknesses. Seeing Hiname-chan made me think that.
Well, maybe it’s all just rationalisation in the end.
Maybe I was just captivated by Ibara, staring at me so sadly, so utterly adorable.
If that’s the case, then I suppose it’s fine.
Better nights spent sleeping together, even with foggy uncertainty ahead, than lonely nights tormented by guilt and loneliness.
And when morning comes, I want to see Ibara’s face first.
“Even though I’m an adult and lack confidence, will you still be with me?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Ibara gave a soft, fluttering smile.
“Because you always say what I’m going to say first, Shigure-san.”
A body light as a feather flung itself into my chest.
After rubbing her small forehead against the knit fabric of my jumper, Ibara lifted her face.
“Stay with me. I’m still a child, but I’ll definitely grow up soon.”
“There’s no need to rush.”
“No, that’s not it. I’m not rushing, I’m holding back.”
“Eh?”
“Truthfully, I want to ravish you right now, Shigure-san. But I’m holding back.”
“Ah, yes.”
Ibara’s nose nibbled at the modest cleavage.
A hot sigh escaped, seeping through the fabric to warm my skin.
“…How long?”
“Wh-what?”
“How long do I have to hold back?”
“Eh. Er, how long exactly?”
“The fifth of May.”
“Children’s Day?”
“My eighteenth birthday.”
My throat made a sharp sound.
That means…
“Then I’ll be an adult. I can vote.”
“Wait, wait, wait!”
May? That’s only three months away!
“Look. Even if we were to start seeing each other, that sort of thing really should wait until after graduation.”
“No way!”
“No way?”
“Impossible! A whole year is too long! Because you tempt me, Shigure-san!”
“I don’t!”
“You do! A whole year is impossible, no matter what! Mainly because of you, Shigure-san!”
Eeeeeh.
W-what? It’s my fault? Do I have to take responsibility?
“Er, um. Then, next Christmas or something…?”
“Too far away.”
“Silver Week?”
“Not quite.”
“Tanabata festival… No! That’s ridiculous, deciding like this!”
“But if we don’t decide, Shigure-san might chicken out when it comes down to it.”
“Ugh.”
That’s true. It is.
“Anyway, that can wait! Ibara’s taking exams next year, right? You need to study.”
“Grrr…”
Ibara growled softly.
You liked that?