Episode 149: The Two of Us (3)

“Takisawa’s parents were lovely people.”
“They’ve changed quite a lot.”

They weren’t like that back in high school, I thought. They’d become gentler — the way they treated me had changed.

Whether they’d changed naturally or had been trying to change, I wasn’t sure — but finding that somehow unsettling might mean I’d gotten quite selfish.

“Maybe it’s because Takisawa changed.”

That made me stop.

Right… I changed, so my parents changed too.

Being told that by Endo-san, my expression must have softened without my realising.

“Takisawa looks happy.”
“That’s thanks to you, Endo-san.”
“Me…?”
“Yeah.”

The walk back to Endo-san’s family home wasn’t long — but even that short distance I wanted to spend touching her. I’d learned from being with her that I was the type who liked closeness more than I’d thought.

The unsettled feeling I had toward my parents changing was probably because I thought that without those difficult years, I never would have met her.

Days of suffering, days when I wanted to die — somehow endured, curled up on my childhood bed waiting for them to pass.

And out of that dark world, the one who pulled me free was no one else but Endo-san.

And since getting to know her, both my parents and I had changed.

I was struck anew by how enormous a presence Endo Hina was in my life.

“Thank you, Endo-san.”

Just saying thank you wasn’t enough. How could I possibly convey this overflowing feeling?

Since meeting her, most of my worries had been about Endo-san — what a happy life this had become.

“That’s my line. If you hadn’t spoken to me at the park in middle school, I might not be here anymore.”

Her warm hand squeezed mine tight.

Looking beside me, her expression was so full of life, so radiantly happy, that the smile seemed contagious. Seeing that face, my heart filled more and more with something warm.

“Shall we stop by that park, Takisawa?”
“Let’s.”

Before heading to Endo-san’s family home, we made our way to the park where everything between us had begun.

When we arrived, of course, there was no one there.

The surroundings were dark, and a quiet stillness hung in the air.

Swings, a slide, a horizontal bar — a perfectly ordinary park to anyone who lived nearby. But there was no question that to us, it was irreplaceable.

Led by Endo-san, I sat down on the bench and we leaned into each other.

Being there like that, so many things that had happened here circled through my mind, and I felt my eyes beginning to well. To hide it from Endo-san I pretended to rub an itch and wiped my eyes.

“So many things happened here, didn’t they. When you said you loved me and then ran away, I was so panicked — but I’m glad I found you here.”
“Endo-san, be quiet. It’s embarrassing — don’t bring that up.”
“I don’t want to not bring it up. It’s a precious memory to me.”

It was embarrassing — but it was precious to me too. It felt like it happened a very long time ago, and also like it happened recently. Both at once.

It had been five years since we met here in the winter of our second year of middle school.

Time moved terrifyingly fast.

“Is there any future Takisawa would like to have?”
“What kind of future?”
“Things you want to do. Things you want to become. No matter how small — I’d love to know.”

Endo-san rested her head against my shoulder with a gentle bump.

What kind of future…

“I don’t need anything special, and nothing extraordinary has to happen — I just want Endo-san to be beside me——”

The honest feeling slipped out — and then immediately I thought it was an inconsiderate thing to say, and regretted it. Saying something that bound her life like that wasn’t right.

And I felt it was a harder wish than asking for anything special or happy.

Endo-san lifted her head from my shoulder and moved away from me.

Panicking that what I’d just said was wrong, I moved to stand up — and Endo-san crouched in front of me and took both my hands.

My hands had grown quite cold, but Endo-san’s were very warm.

Wrapped in that warmth, my heart settled.

“I feel the same way——”
“What?”

Hearing those words, my feelings wanted to soar. But Endo-san wasn’t finished.

She took a small box from her pocket and opened it, holding it out to me.

I looked back and forth between what was in front of me and Endo-san’s face.

Endo-san’s face was quite flushed.

“What does this mean…”

“Sora — happy birthday. And — please stay with me forever——”

Unusually, Endo-san was looking down.

A slightly lacking-in-confidence sort of manner.

Without thinking, I pulled the crouching girl into a tight embrace.

We both lost our balance and folded slowly to the ground.

“Takisawa?!”
“I’m so happy——”

I held her tight — too tight, almost — and Endo-san held me gently back. Warm in heart and body… wrapped in an almost overwhelming heat.

We both sat back up, and Endo-san sat me down on the bench. Then she slipped something glinting onto my left ring finger.

It was too dazzling for my eyes.

“Um, we can’t officially register anything, but…”
“That has nothing to do with it — stay with me forever——”

Giving me a present like this, on my birthday of all days — whatever else happened in my life, she had an obligation to stay by my side for the rest of it, I thought.

“Hehe. That’s true.”

Endo-san put the same ring on her own left ring finger.

My chest was full — too full — with happiness.

Endo-san must have been working hard at her part-time job to buy these.
All the anxiety she must have felt going to meet my parents today — and how hard she pushed through it.
Not knowing what I might say — how much courage it must have taken to give me this.

I was loved by her in more ways than I could possibly deserve.

And at that, the feelings I’d held back a moment ago could be held back no longer.

Tears, hot and unstoppable, traced down my cheeks and fell onto my lap.

The cowardly me never could have taken this step alone. She had taken it for me — and so one more promise had been made, one that would build our future.

Thank you and words like that were not enough.

“Endo-san, you’re an idiot.”
“And who was the one who fell for this idiot?”
“Me. I’m the only one allowed to fall for Endo-san.”
“You love me so much.”
“Yeah. I love you so much.”

Endo-san’s face had returned to its usual dopey expression, and I found myself crying and smiling at the same time.

I gripped her left hand tight, and after a while standing in that park, we walked toward her family home.

Against her soft left hand, I felt something new — hard and cool, something that hadn’t been there before.

※※※

When I didn’t want to open my eyes but the alarm was too insistent to ignore, I got up.

When I opened my eyes, there was a girl in front of me, still murmuring in her dreams. Pinching her cheek slightly, tapping her shoulder — she showed no signs of waking.

I gently kissed her lips, and her eyes snapped open.

“Morning, Sora.”
“Endo-san, you were definitely already awake.”
“Yesterday you called me Hina, and now you won’t anymore?”
“Be quiet.”
“Embarrassed Sora is cute too.”

I was held tight enough to be a little breathless. That made me happy, and I held her back.

I wanted this time to go on forever — but that wasn’t going to happen.

“I don’t want to go to work~”
“Me neither.”

Endo-san was stretching and starting to prepare to get out of bed.

That was slightly annoying.

I pulled her arm firmly. Endo-san leaned back over me and held me once more.

“Why not take the day off?”
“Oh my, a school teacher who’s not serious about her job.”
“Endo-san made me not serious.”

If she hadn’t been beside me when I woke up, I’d have been getting ready for work without hesitation.

Well — joking around like this would make me actually late, so we got out of bed.

I turned on the tap and splashed the not-quite-warm water on my face. Had breakfast. Brushed teeth. Put on my suit. Got ready for work.

Whatever we were doing, the sounds of my life and her life played together through the whole apartment, and it was comfortable even in the morning.

At the entrance I slipped my heels on with a shoehorn.

I turned around, and a woman in work clothes was smiling at me.

“Any chance of overtime today?”
“I’ll work hard to make sure there isn’t.”
“Then I’ll make dinner tonight.”
“I’ll make it tomorrow.”
“Okay~”

Endo-san pulled my arm, and something soft pressed against my lips.

“Have a good day.”
“You too, Endo-san.”
“Let’s both do our best!”

We locked the front door and turned together toward work.

The time when I found the sun too bright and bothersome felt distant now.

Now I felt like I needed this light. With that outdoor light lifting my heart, I walked toward work.

Today too — to come home to the person I loved.
To live.
I walked forward, looking ahead.