Episode Four: Rio Kakei: Past Story Part 1 ―April 2024―
Having attended a combined junior and senior high school, I advanced to the senior division via the escalator system without ever feeling truly refreshed.
Before us, a crowd of familiar faces, Hisako-san, then twenty-four years old, the same age as I am now, caused a stir from her very first greeting, which felt utterly unlike anything one would expect from a teacher at our school.
“This is a combined junior and senior girls’ school, so some of you might be a bit numb to it all… but let me, as an outsider, state this plainly! Sixteen is an incredible age! You can do anything, choose anything! So I want you all to experience many things and take on lots of challenges, and I’ll be cheering you on like crazy!”
I’d assumed this old-fashioned school would harbour plenty of people hostile to an eccentric teacher, but Hisako-san bonded with the pupils in no time.
From day one, she addressed the students by their first names. Put nicely, she was a friendly, approachable teacher. Put less kindly, she was an overly familiar teacher. …Either way, she was the sort of person I found difficult to deal with.
But as a Japanese teacher, I liked her.
“Arai no Narihira was what you’d call a playboy back then, you know? He was incredibly popular. Good looks and skill at composing waka poetry – in that era, that was the ultimate package. Though nowadays, a guy who goes around gifting poems would probably just put people off.”
Hisako-san’s lessons weren’t just easy to understand; they were full of humour too, so she seemed popular with the class… but then.
“Rio! Fancy having lunch together?”
One lunchtime, Hisako-san suddenly invited me to eat with her, with the casual ease of someone calling out to a friend. I was genuinely taken aback.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Why not? Got plans to eat with someone else?”
“No, but I’d rather eat alone.”
“Then come with me. I’ve got a secret hideout.”
“…Are you even listening?”
Despite her gentle demeanour, her astonishing persistence meant I couldn’t refuse.
—Let me rephrase that, deliberately turning it on its head. As a Japanese teacher, I liked her, but she was the type of person I found difficult to deal with.
“You don’t need to be considerate just because you’re a teacher. I’m used to being alone and don’t mind it at all.”
I reluctantly trailed behind Hisako-san as she walked ahead.
“I don’t care if you’re the type who’s fine alone, Rio. I just want to eat with you.”
I was speechless. What a selfish, strange teacher.
“We’re here!”
The secret base Hisako-san mentioned turned out to be the music room.
“But you’re a Japanese teacher. Is it really okay to use the music room like this?”
“I got permission, properly. Music teacher Morioka and I are good mates, you see.”
Abuse of authority. Mixing business with pleasure. I swallowed the words rising in my throat.
“I’m starving. Shall we eat?”
I still remember it. Hisako-san was eating hot coffee and fruit sandwiches at the time.
“Mmm, delicious. Can you drink coffee, Rio?”
“I can’t, and I’ve never even considered trying it.”
“I see. I was going to offer you some, but I’ll save that pleasure for when you’re a bit more grown up.”
Seeing Hisako-san drink her coffee with such genuine relish, I asked her.
“Um, why does Jinnai-san…”
“She won’t answer unless you call him Hisako-san.”
I’m not good with this. Calling others by their first names, or this person in particular.
“Wh-why does Hisako-san insist on being called by her first name?”
“Wouldn’t you rather be called by your first name than your surname? It feels more friendly.”
“Isn’t that rather unusual these days? I hear that by primary school, even boys are addressed with ‘-san’, and many schools ban nicknames.”
Hisako-san blinked.
“Eh, really? But I don’t mind, you know. I’ll just do things my way.”
“In a school as traditionally conservative as this one, it makes you stand out. In fact, I heard you received complaints from parents about not addressing us with ‘-san’.”
This was a nationally renowned prestigious girls’ school, the sort where pupils exchanged greetings like “Good day”. There was a harsh climate for nonconformists.
“Ah, that. When the vice-principal gave me guidance, I pretended to reflect on it, but I really don’t care at all. I’m trying to write a story only I can write.”
“Er… write?”
“No, when you respond with such a straight face, it makes me feel embarrassed! Honestly, until Rio’s poetic skills catch up to mine, I think I’ll stop talking about this.”
Laughing at me, who was floating question marks above my head, unable to keep up with every word being said, Hisako-san bit into her fruit sandwich. It looked delicious.
“Now then, earlier Rio said she ‘wanted to eat alone’. Does that mean she doesn’t want friends?”
I didn’t think she was being sarcastic, teasing, or lacking tact at all. I believe that was simply due to Hisako-san’s character.
Even though this was the first time we’d properly spoken one-on-one, she had the power to make me feel that way.
“Well, yes. I feel I can’t empathise well enough with conversations, so I end up making things awkward. And I can’t tell interesting stories either, so I imagine the other person finds it boring.”
“Hmm, hmm. So you’re saying you try to distance yourself before you disappoint them?”
“…I don’t really understand it myself. Back in middle school, I heard the girls who bullied me seemed friendly on the surface, but behind each other’s backs they were gossiping about one another. About a month ago, there was this boy from another school who went to the same cram school… He’d say incredibly mean things, then suddenly confess his feelings…”
Both incidents left me utterly confused.
“It’s just… I can’t understand why people’s words and feelings are so contradictory. Because of that, I’ve become a bit distrustful of people…”
“Hmm, I see.”
“…Are you actually listening, sensei?”
“I am listening! I didn’t expect you to open up like this, Rio. I’m really glad you did.”
A sudden wave of embarrassment washed over me. I’d never told anyone such personal things before – things I thought no one would understand. And here I was, confiding in a teacher I’d always found difficult.
“You don’t need to overthink it like that. Friends or people you like aren’t something you choose with your head. It’s more like, ‘Ah, they seem nice. I’d like to get to know them,’ or you just get that sudden, ‘Ah, I like them!’ feeling.”
I couldn’t imagine a future where I’d feel that kind of interest in anyone, but I didn’t want this conversation dragging on. So, I just nodded along half-heartedly and got through the lunch break.
After parting ways with Hisako-san, I felt utterly drained. Even if it was part of her job, it was rare these days to find such a passionate teacher who genuinely cared about someone like me. Well, at least she probably wouldn’t bother me for a while now.
Little did I know, my expectations were about to be thoroughly shattered.