Episode 4: Officially Dead Weight
“One more person’s coming, so hang on a sec.”
“Okay.”
Cosmo-san — or rather, Hayashi-san — nodded, expression unchanged.
Maybe she’s just the type whose facial muscles don’t move much, despite being such a beauty.
I really hope that’s all it is. I don’t think I could handle it if it turned out she just didn’t want to work with someone like me, an introvert.
Too scared to look at Hayashi-san’s face, I kept my eyes down while we waited for the next person.
Please don’t be scary, please… actually, wait, is it just going to be three of us on shift? Three people means someone always gets left out, right? What do I do. Please, anything but an odd number. Actually, even with an even number I’d probably just end up as the odd one out and get hurt anyway, but still…
“Sooorry, the train got a little delayed!”
A cheerful voice rang out, and I looked up. My eyes met a warm, gentle-looking onee-san’s.
Her hair, the soft color of milk tea, was tied back in a half-up style, and she wore a clean, modest white dress.
On top of that, her chest was even bigger than Möbius-san’s.
“Nice to meet you both. I’m Yukimura Miyuki. At the shop I’m going to go by ‘Milk.’ I’m a sophomore in college, and I used to work at a different maid café. Möbius-chan invited me, so I decided to work here.”
Smiling warmly, Miyuki-san shook my hand, then Hayashi-san’s. Riding the momentum, we all went through introductions again.
“These three, plus me, that’s our four opening members. No fighting, got it? Customers can always tell when the cast doesn’t get along.”
“I know, Möbius-chan. You two, be nice to each other, okay?”
“Hyah, hyaes ma’am!”
Botched it again.
Maybe trying to at least answer loudly, since I’m an introvert, was a mistake to begin with.
“Riri-chan, no need to be nervous. Although, honestly, you’re so cute I might be getting a little nervous myself.”
“…Huh?”
“You look just like a little doll. You’re so cute, Riri-chan. Of course, Cosmo-chan too.”
Uh oh. Hayashi-san’s supposed to get mad if you call her Cosmo.
I braced myself for it —
— but instead:
“…Thank you, Miyuki-san.”
Eh!? Her reaction’s way different from mine!? What!?
Our eyes met, and Hayashi-san glared at me. Maybe it wasn’t about the name at all — maybe she just didn’t want an introvert like me using her first name.
“Uh… uuu…”
“Eh? Riri-chan, what’s wrong? Hey now. No need to cry, okay?”
Miyuki-san crouched down and peered into my face.
“Fufu, you know, Riri-chan kind of reminds me of the dog we used to have at home. So cute.”
“Hih, fuhi… w-woof…”
“Kyaa, so cute. Hey, Riri-chan, can you shake?”
“W-woof!”
I hurriedly placed my right hand on Miyuki-san’s outstretched palm.
Well, my face is the only thing I’ve got going for me anyway. At this point, maybe living out my days as an older onee-san’s pet dog isn’t the worst policy.
“You two over there. Quit playing around, training’s starting, let’s go!”
“Okaaay. Let’s go, Riri-chan.”
Miyuki-san took my hand and led me along. Thank goodness. If Miyuki-san’s around, maybe I can actually manage this job somehow.
◆
Once we got inside the shop, we started by reading through the manual Möbius-san had prepared.
Rules for drink and food orders, guidelines for interacting with customers, the pricing for cheki photos and other bonuses.
Cheki photos were a thousand yen each, with a 20% cut — two hundred yen — going to the cast member. For group chekis, apparently the 20% got split evenly among however many cast members were in the photo.
“Okay, we’re gonna do roleplay in order today. Pretend I’m a customer and run through the whole flow, one at a time. Milk first.”
“Okaaay.”
Möbius-san stepped outside once, then walked back in.
I stood off to the side with Hayashi-san to watch.
“Welcome home, Ojou-sama! Milk will be showing Ojou-sama to your seat!”
Miyuki-san said it with a beaming smile, then picked up a bell near the entrance and rang it.
“Ojou-sama has returned home!”
That’s how the rest of the cast in the shop get notified a customer’s arrived.
After showing Möbius-san to her seat, Miyuki-san continued the whole service flawlessly. Even the practice ketchup art on the rice omelette was perfect.
After Miyuki-san, Hayashi-san was called on next. I think Möbius-san was being considerate, letting her go before me.
Hayashi-san doesn’t really seem like the outgoing type either, though… I wonder if she can actually pull it off. Maybe she’s going for a cool, aloof character type? In that case, I guess the cool type’s off the table for me…
Since there’s nothing I can do about being bad at talking to people, I’d actually been half-considering the quiet, cool-type character route myself.
But with only four cast members total, I really want to avoid overlapping character types.
Möbius-san walked back in through the door again. In that instant, Hayashi-san’s voice jumped several tones higher, and a smile spread across her face.
“Welcome home, Ojou-sama! Sora has been waiting for Ojou-sama’s return with all her heart!”
— She was a completely different person.
With an idol-perfect smile, Hayashi-san led Möbius-san to her seat.
Seamless, flowing service. A “cutesy girl” character without a single crack in the performance.
And the popular-character ketchup art she drew was practically professional-grade.
“Now then, let Sora cast a spell to make your rice omelette even more delicious!”
Hayashi-san formed a heart shape with her hands in front of her chest, swayed it side to side, and chanted the spell.
“Moe moe, kyun kyun, become de~licious! Fufu, it’s full of Sora’s love now, so it’s going to be extra delicious!”
The roleplay ended, and Möbius-san and Miyuki-san applauded. Bowing her head with a “thank you very much,” Hayashi-san’s expression dropped right back to blank.
“Alright, Ruri.”
“Hyah, hyayes ma’am…”
No good. I’m officially dead weight. There’s no way I can pull off what those two just did.
Can I actually do this whole maid café thing…?