Episode 133: It’s Summer! (3)
“The sparklers are done, but there’s one more event remaining.”
Mai was laughing in a very ominous hehehe sort of way.
“I found a shrine at the top of that mountain during the day! We’re going to pay our respects! Doesn’t the walk there feel like a test of courage?”
She produced a flashlight with a ta-da — all prepared.
Come to think of it, Endo-san doesn’t do well with scary things.
Thinking that, I glanced over at Endo-san — and sure enough, she was trembling. But Saaya further back was trembling even more.
“Then let’s draw lots to decide the pairs!”
“W-wait! We don’t actually have to do the test of courage, do we?! The sparklers were more than fun enough!”
Saaya, who had been cheerfully bright until just a moment ago, was speaking in an unbelievably shaky voice.
“But it’s a summer classic. Hoshizora’s totally fine, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And Hina, you’re completely cool with it? You wouldn’t say something uncool like being scared of ghosts, would you?”
Mai clearly knew Endo-san was bad with this sort of thing and was asking deliberately — she’d had a smirk on her face the whole time.
“Of course.”
You’re lying. She looked like she could burst into tears at any moment. But seeing that brave front from Endo-san made me feel slightly, unexpectedly glad.
The lot draw paired Saaya with me, and Mai with Endo-san. That worked — I had things I wanted to say to Saaya.
“I’ll leave Saaya to Hoshizora! Come up in about ten minutes! Hina, let’s go!”
“Ahh…”
Endo-san, looking anxious, was pulled along by Mai and they disappeared.
The surroundings grew quiet, and a spooky atmosphere settled in.
Looking to my side, the girl who had been so forceful with me earlier was nowhere to be found — in her place was someone trembling.
“Let’s go.”
“Hoshizora-chan, can I hang onto your arm?”
“Sure.”
Saaya clung to my arm as though she had no intention of ever letting go. Her hands were trembling, so she must have been genuinely scared.
Having someone other than Endo-san do this to me felt like nothing at all. If this were Endo-san, I’d be thinking about the contact and going off in strange directions. I’m always calling Endo-san a weirdo — but maybe I’m the weirdo…
Even away from Endo-san, all I could think about was Endo-san, and I felt a little fed up with myself.
“Hoshizora-chan, I’m scared — say something.”
Asking me to provide conversation topics was quite an unreasonable demand. If anything, that was more Saaya’s domain — or so I thought. But looking at the girl beside me, she clearly had no such capacity right now.
There probably wouldn’t be many chances for just the two of us to talk again.
She’d asked for a topic, and this was my only chance. I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and began.
“I’m going out with Endo-san.”
“Mm-hm.”
She was the one who’d told me to give her something to talk about, and now she looked uninterested. More than that, she looked dissatisfied. Unhappy.
“Then treat Hina better.”
“Better…?”
“Things have settled down recently, but a little while ago she always looked like she was dying when she was at school.”
Those words made my chest ache with a dull, persistent pain. Endo-san being in pain around that time — part of the cause was probably me. Things have finally settled lately — but was she still looking strained at university sometimes…?
Saaya’s words kept landing on tender places inside me — but if she hadn’t told me, I would never have known what Endo-san was like at university.
“Thank you for telling me.”
“You seem so composed and it’s annoying.”
Composed?
Not even noticing Endo-san’s struggles, feeling unpleasant emotions just watching her get along with friends — I thought I was a small, composure-less person.
“I’m not composed at all.”
“Yes you are.”
Everything I said was denied, and not knowing what to say back, I fell silent. Then my arm began to ache more and more — Saaya had been squeezing it with unbelievable force.
“That hurts…”
“I thought I’d go ahead and break one arm since you seem so composed.”
She said something terrifying with a full-force smile, and I felt my spine go cold.
“You can break it — but my feelings won’t change.”
She was too small to actually break my arm, but I didn’t want to lose, so I said it anyway.
“If you don’t have one arm, you won’t be able to give your favourite person a proper hug though?”
Ah… right…
That would genuinely be a problem.
“Let go.”
“Ah — there’s a non-composed statement.”
I had absolutely no idea what Saaya was trying to accomplish. My arm was released, and the pressure that had been building was freed.
“Thanks for telling me you’re going out with Hina.”
“Okay…?”
“Hina doesn’t tell me things like that, so I didn’t know if she trusted me… I was sad thinking I was a friend she didn’t trust at all.”
Saaya, someone I’d only met today, was wearing an expression even I could tell was genuinely sad.
“When I ask why she seems down at school she won’t tell me — but today, watching her talk with you, I thought — everything she’s struggling with is about Hoshizora-chan.”
“Sorry…”
“Not sorry —”
Saaya peered at me and smiled. Her expression was somehow clear, somehow pleased.
“All those happy faces and sad faces and sulky faces — they come out naturally because it’s you. I’ve never seen Hina look that happy before. So I thought: Hoshizora-chan is something special.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
It isn’t true. I don’t have any power like that.
“Never mind that. From where I stand as her friend — you’re the only one who can make Hina look that happy.”
I couldn’t say anything to that — and a small hand started slapping my back firmly.
Saaya probably isn’t a bad person, I thought. She’s one of the friends who genuinely cares about Endo-san.
“Thank you, Saaya-chan.”
“I haven’t done anything worth thanking me for.”
She said that and then started walking with a little skip in her step. Endo-san is wonderful. And so her friends are probably wonderful people too, I thought.
A little while later, a rustling came from the bushes — and at that moment, Saaya launched herself back onto my arm. Whether she was still scared or still considering breaking it, she wouldn’t let go.
At the top, we met up with Endo-san and Mai.
“My, my — Saaya’s really clinging to you — did you two get close?”
“Something like that.”
It would be hard to call it close — but Saaya said so with complete confidence and finally released my arm.
The arm that had been clung to had gone numb.
Mai and Saaya walked ahead, chatting happily.
Watching them, the numb arm was suddenly caught softly.
“I want Takizawa’s arm too——”
Endo-san doing that without warning sent my heart into strange rhythms. Wherever she was touching, it beat loudly, as though a heart had attached itself there.
“Endo-san, let go.”
“Why is Saaya okay but I’m not?”
That wasn’t the point. I thought Endo-san understood nothing about me.
“Saaya-chan was clinging to me because she was trying to break my arm just now.”
“What?”
Endo-san looked completely blank. That somehow looked cute, so I patted her head with a pat-pat.
Where Mai and the others had stopped, a fairly imposing shrine stood quietly.
“So, as it happens — this is a love shrine.”
“Really?”
I found myself looking at Mai with sceptical eyes.
“It’s true, it’s true. It’s dedicated to the god of binding.”
I couldn’t quite trust Mai’s suspicious claims — but I stepped forward and looked up at the shrine. It was quite well kept. I took a slow breath, bowed, and closed my eyes.
May I be able to stand proudly beside Endo-san.
Everyone was wishing for something seriously. Endo-san bowed particularly deeply, back curved. I wondered what she was wishing for. I couldn’t help hoping it was something similar to mine.
The test of courage — or whatever it was — ended safely, and we all returned to the cottage with easy, idle chat.
The next day, after a slow morning, we headed home.