Episode 93: I’m So Happy Right Now

“Kanata, are you alright? Oh dear, I told you not to drink at such a pace when you can’t hold your liquor. Your face is bright red.”

I hear Yui-san’s gentle voice scolding me.
Just the two of us in the lift. Inside the iron box climbing steadily upwards, I clasped her arm tightly and leaned my weight against her.

“I’m fine, really. I’m not drunk at all.”

　I shook my head to convey this, and Yui let out a small sigh, shrugging her shoulders.

“Even easy-drinking alcohol is something to be wary of. Champagne and wine are both much stronger than the drinks you usually have, Kanata. You really ought to be careful, you know?”

“Aye.”

“Once we get to the room, let’s have some water first, alright?”

“I’m fine, I tell you. Honestly, Yui, you worry too much.”

　The luxurious dishes arriving one after another were all delicious, and it was true that I’d ended up drinking more than intended. But I wasn’t just putting on a brave face — I genuinely didn’t think I was that drunk.
Both the champagne we’d toasted with and the wine we’d enjoyed with the special Christmas dinner course had been ordered sweet to suit me, so they’d been absolutely lovely.

True, my heart had been pounding since earlier, and my feet felt a bit wobbly, but I reckoned I always felt like this when I was with Yui-san.

　Alone in the lift, taking advantage of the fact no one could see us, I called her name, “Yui-san,” and pulled her hand tightly.
Stretching up slightly, I pressed my lips lightly against her cheek.

Yui-san’s eyes widened in surprise, and she looked straight at my face, making me laugh. She didn’t need to be so startled.
After all, we’re lovers. It should be fine for me to take the initiative like this once in a while.

“…Kanata, you really are terribly drunk, aren’t you?”

“I’m not drunk at all. See, Yui-san, I’m incredibly happy right now.”

I clasped her left hand with both of mine, trying to convey my feelings as fully as possible. Then Yui-san blinked rapidly.

　For a moment, Yui-san looked as if enduring something, then she forcefully pulled me towards her with her right arm around my waist. My body swayed, and our faces drew near. Meeting Yui-san’s gaze directly at such close range, my already wildly beating heart accelerated even further.

Ah, is she going to kiss me? Just as I thought that and was about to close my eyes, the lift began to slow down.

Noticing this, Yui cast her gaze solely at the floor indicator, her brows knitting tightly as if suppressing something.
The lift came to an abrupt halt, its doors opening slowly and mercilessly, so Yui loosened the arms that had been holding me close.

Oh, what a shame. I thought you were going to kiss me.

　Yui sighed deeply and shook her head slightly.

“…Kanata, you really don’t mix well with alcohol.”

What did she mean by that? Sure, compared to Yui, I might be a bit weak with drink, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t handle it at all.
I tilted my head in confusion as we stepped out of the lift. Our destination was just a stone’s throw away.

　Ignoring Yui-san, who was still muttering about my drinking habits, I tugged at the sleeve of her jacket in front of the door, saying, “Hurry up and open it.”
When Yui-san held up the room key she’d taken from her breast pocket, the lock clicked open, and I entered the room with excitement.

　The panoramic glass windows offered views of Tokyo’s nightscape, while the decor was uniformly Christmas-themed.
My eyes were drawn to the large tree and the balloon art adorning the space around the huge bed.

“Wow, amazing! Yui-san, look! There are so many balloons!”

She dashed over to the large king-size bed and plopped down. The momentum caused a golden balloon decorating the bed to float gently into the air.
She picked up one balloon. As she bounced it playfully between her hands, Yui-san suddenly laughed, as if all her strength had left her.

“I’m so glad you like it, but first, have some water, won’t you? We’ve got cake ready too. Once you’ve sobered up a bit, let’s eat it together.”

“There’s cake too? Yay!”

While Yui-san went to fetch water from the built-in fridge, I pulled back the Christmas-coloured red bedspread and flopped straight back onto the bed. Just as I drew in the scent of freshly laundered linen, it suddenly dawned on me.

　It felt so comfortable I hadn’t noticed, but right now, I was still wearing the precious dress Yui-san had bought for me.

Come to think of it, where had my clothes gone? Glancing around the room, my eyes fell on a paper bag sitting atop the luggage rack. Apparently, the luggage I’d left during dinner had been brought to the room beforehand.

With a plastic bottle of mineral water in one hand, Yui approached the bed.

“Kanata, are you alright?”

She looked down at me with concern. I wasn’t feeling ill, exactly. More like light-headed and rather pleasant.
But my heart seemed to be playing up. It kept thumping faster and faster, accelerating relentlessly.

　Don’t worry, I’m fine. More than that, I’ve been itching for you to hold me tight.
I want you to tell me you love me with your body, your lips, your fingers.

Usually you pounce like a wolf, yet somehow whenever I drink, Yui suddenly tries to be rational.

I gently reach out and call her name, “Yui.” Thinking I wanted her to get me up, Yui-san gently took my outstretched hand with her free hand and pulled me closer. Oh, come on, that’s not it.

Wanting her to understand, I pulled her hand firmly towards me.

“Whoa—”

Caught off guard, Yui-san lost her balance, placed her hands on the bed, and fell on top of me.

　To make sure she didn’t escape, I wrapped my arms tightly around her neck and pulled her closer.
Seeing her eyes widen in surprise felt rather good. After all, it’s unfair that I’m always the one getting flustered. I want Yui-san to feel flustered around me more too.

I gently tucked a strand of her long, glossy black hair that had fallen loose behind her ear. Then I slid my finger along the edge of her ear, tracing its outline, before my fingertip touched the silver stud piercing it, glinting in the light.

Once more, I called her name, “Yui-san,” lacing my voice with all the sweetness I could muster. But she narrowed her eyes at me, as if scolding me.

“…Kanata, water?”

“No, I’m fine… I’m not that drunk.”

“Saying that means you’re absolutely plastered, I reckon…”

I gave a wry smile, annoyed that Yui-san looked away from me. The necklace I’d given her — a black onyx clover — swayed before my eyes. Her white nape. Feeling the smooth texture of her skin so close, my heart pounded loudly in my ears.

“Hey, Yui-san.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want my clothes to get creased… take it off.”

My fingertips gently traced the line of her neck.
The ceiling seemed to be spinning round and round. I didn’t feel capable of undoing the zip at my back myself.

When I tried coaxing her like a child, Yui froze stiff as a board.

Strange. Yui always grants my every wish when I ask nicely.
Won’t you listen to my request today? I silently stared at her, as if posing that question.

Yui closed her eyes once, then took a deep breath and slowly opened them. Her intense gaze pierced my heart.
My body trembled at that look, demanding me without words, its urgency palpable. Yes, that was the look I wanted her to give me.

“…Kanata, you really are… sneaky.”

“But… I can’t take it off myself.”

“Right. Fine, I’ll take it off for you.”

　Arms wrapped around my back lifted me up. Clinging to her as I rose, her lips gently pressed against my ear.

“…I was trying to hold back until after the cake.”

Her slender fingers slipped beneath my skirt, scratching lightly at my thigh covered by stockings. Normally, her touch would be direct, but feeling it through just a thin layer of fabric felt frustratingly distant.
　I wanted to touch her bare skin. I wished she’d take it off already.

“Today, you don’t have to hold back at all.”

Was it the drink I’d had earlier, or was it Yui-san? I couldn’t tell anymore. I’d felt strange ever since we started eating.
Just her touch made my whole body tingle.

“Does that mean you’re inviting me?”

“…Don’t ask me that. You can do whatever you like with me.”

This conversation is just playful banter. It means nothing.
After all, Yui must know already. I’m just too embarrassed to tell her honestly that I “want to”, so I’m fidgeting instead.

Even though we did it yesterday, this way I might not be able to call Yui a “lecher” anymore.

“…In that case, shall we save the cake for later?”

Whispered with a hot breath, I close my eyes. Hidden within the sweetness in her voice lies desire.

When did it start? When did just being whispered to like this make the depths of my stomach tingle and grow hot?
When she touches me, I melt away as easily as ice cream left out in the midsummer sun.

My jaw was captured, my lips taken. Her thumb forcefully parted my lips, and the soft tongue that slipped through the opening tasted of wine.

The balloon decorations around the bed swayed softly.

The warmth of her palm touching my skin came through the thin fabric. When our lips parted, our eyes met.

　Yui-san smiled gently, kneeling as she kissed my knee peeking out from beneath the dress. Through the stockings, it felt strangely ticklish, just a little.

Yui-san’s palm stroked down my calf. Then her hand touched the heel of the pumps she’d just bought for me.

　First the left foot, then the right, each shoe removed in turn. Somehow, I felt like Cinderella. Not in glass slippers, but to me, they held nearly as much value.

Just having my shoes removed made my breath quicken. I felt rather indecent reacting like this, but I couldn’t help wanting her desperately.
Yui-san lifted her face. She gazed intently into my eyes and smiled gently.

“…You look rather like a princess, you know.”

“That’s because Yui-san gave me this lovely dress as a present.”

“No, no. Whatever you wear, ever since we met, Kanata has always been my princess.”

If I am a princess, then Yui-san is the one who cast the spell. She made me this way.
　To utter such saccharine lines without hesitation… perhaps Yui-san is drunk enough herself to be in no position to criticise others.

I felt her hand move around to my back, pulling down the zip.

“Hehe… there’s someone trying to do naughty things to that princess.”

I teased her, even though I’d been the one begging for it. Yui-san laughed and kissed the back of my hand.

“…What can I say? It’s what the princess requested, after all.”

It was Christmas, after all. Once in a while was fine. Once in a while, a night like this was okay. Even if there were nights when we forgot all the constraints binding us and just got carried away, surely even God would turn a blind eye just for tonight.

Surrendering to that uniquely pleasant, fuzzy sensation one feels after drinking alcohol, I gently closed my eyes.

＊＊＊

Her lips pressed against my inner thigh, gently sucking at the skin. Surely the red mark left there yesterday should still be visible, yet Yui always insists on leaving her mark here.

Each time we made love, those marks multiplied. Where they appeared depended entirely on Yui-san’s mood — sometimes her neck, sometimes her back, sometimes beneath her collarbone. The location was always different, but her thigh was always, without fail, the one place they appeared.

Why, I wonder. Does it mean something? I don’t know, but if that’s what Yui-san wants, I don’t resist. I let her do as she pleases. It’s not as if I’m going to show this body to anyone else but her, so she can do as she likes.

　Her tongue slid smoothly over the red mark on my left thigh. Occasionally she’d bite it lightly, or lick it like this, and the soft, warm, springy sensation tickled. But somehow, it felt good too.

“You know, Yui-san, you always leave marks… specially on my thighs, don’t you?”

　When I pointed it out, Yui-san kissed my thigh one last time before lifting her face and grinning mischievously.

“Oh, you caught me?”

“Well, it’s just… always like that…”

Come to think of it, Yui-san always strokes my thighs, and I realise she touches them with surprising frequency.

The more our bodies entwine, the more I gradually understand Yui-san’s little habits.

　For instance, when she’s genuinely stressed, she becomes quieter. I doubt even Yui herself realises those things about herself.

But surely it’s mutual; Yui knows many things about me that I don’t know myself.
In fact, when it comes to my body, I suspect Yui knows it far better than I do.

Her gentle side, her occasional mischievousness – I adore every part of her, utterly.

　Our sweaty, hot bodies pressed together. Rough breathing and my uncontrollable voice echoed in the room. Her long fingers dominated every part of me.

When she held me tight, as if pinning down my trying-to-escape body, my breathing grew faster and shallower.

　We both knew there was no room for restraint. My alcohol-fogged mind could only think of how good it felt, and I clung to her back, not caring if my nails dug in.

I lightly bit her perfectly shaped ear.

　Yui-san, it feels good, more.

Between ragged breaths, I managed that in a hoarse voice. Yui-san called my name, “Kanata,” over and over, sounding desperate. Just that alone made my chest ache unbearably, filled with a sharp, stabbing pain.

“More,” I was the one who begged for it, yet when cornered by those long fingers, I suddenly wanted to flee. The sweet, inviting scent of perfume wafting from the body clinging to mine made me dizzy.

“I can’t take it anymore,” I murmured softly. Yui-san pulled away abruptly and peered into my face. Her dark eyes, heavy with heat, looked down at me.

　I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a whimper. Why do Yui-san’s fingers feel so good?

For some reason, at a time like this, I remembered her long fingers tracing documents at work and her neatly trimmed, rounded nails, and my body shivered.

The serious gaze Yui-san showed at work and the fierce, wolf-like stare she was giving me now were completely different.

　Yet I know linking those impressions will only cause me pain later. Even at work, I’ll likely recall this sweet night every time I see her long fingers.

That gaze directed solely at me, that expression devoid of ease – all of it pierces deep into my chest, unlikely to ever leave.

　Something pushed up deep inside me, lifting my hips. Ah, I can’t take it anymore. Slowly, physiological tears welled up and spilled over.

What should I do? I want to bite her. But in my tear-blurred vision, the bite mark I left yesterday still stood out red on Yui-san’s shoulder.
Perhaps noticing my struggle to hold back, Yui-san suddenly smiled and brought her lips close to my ear.

“Kanata. …It’s… fine to bite.”

“Bu-but…”

“It’s alright. Because… it feels better that way, doesn’t it?”

No, it wasn’t like that at first. It started because it felt good, and I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do, so I sank my teeth into that shoulder. But now…

　I know it hurts when I bite. I still see the marks on her shoulder over and over, and I keep, keep regretting it.

I know it, but I can’t stop. I can’t hold back. Because sex with Yui-san is always so good, it makes me want to bite.

　When she holds me tight and calls my name, “Kanata,” in that voice so full of tenderness… I succumb to desire.
I sink my teeth in, overlapping the fresh scar from yesterday. I bite down hard, and Yui-san groans in pain.

A tingling sensation shoots through the back of my head. I hold her tightly, refusing to let go, even as her body stiffens against the pain.