Episode Ninety-Three: Right Now, I’m So Incredibly Happy
“Kanata, you okay? Geez, you’re weak with alcohol, I told you not to drink at that pace. Your face is bright red.”
Yui-san’s soft voice, scolding me gently, reaches me.
Alone in the elevator, just the two of us. Inside the steel box, climbing steadily higher, I hugged her arm tight and leaned my whole weight against her.
“I’m fine, I’m not drunk at all.”
Shaking my head, I said it, and Yui-san let out a small sigh and shrugged.
“Easy-to-drink alcohol is deceptive, you know. Champagne, wine — both way stronger than what you usually drink. You need to be careful.”
“Okaaay.”
“Once we get to the room, drink some water first, okay?”
“I told you, I’m fine. Geez, Yui-san, you worry too much.”
Course after gorgeous course, all of it delicious — it’s true the alcohol had kept flowing, but I’m not saying this out of stubbornness. I really don’t think I’m that drunk.
The toast champagne, and the wine I’d had through the special Christmas dinner course, both ordered sweet specifically for me — both had been genuinely delicious.
It’s true my heart’s been racing since a while ago, and my feet feel a little unsteady, floaty — but I think that’s just how it always is, being with Yui-san.
Just the two of us in the elevator, and, taking advantage of no one watching, I called her name — “Yui-san” — and tugged her hand.
Rising slightly on my toes, I pressed my lips lightly against her cheek.
Startled, her eyes went wide, and she snapped her face toward me, and I couldn’t help but laugh. No need to be that surprised.
We’re girlfriends, after all — it should be fine for me to do something like this myself, once in a while.
“…Kanata, you really are completely drunk, aren’t you.”
“I’m not druuunk. Hey, Yui-san, right now, I’m so incredibly happy.”
Gripping her left hand with both of mine, I poured everything I had into conveying that feeling. Yui-san blinked, rapid.
For a moment, she looked like she was enduring something, and then pulled my waist in, forceful, with her right arm. My body swayed off balance, our faces drawing close. At this distance, our eyes met, dead-on, and my already-racing heart sped up even further.
Ah, is she going to kiss me? Thinking that, my eyes had just started to drift shut when the elevator began slowing.
Noticing, Yui-san glanced only at the floor display and, brows drawing together, seemed to be holding something back.
The elevator came to a smooth stop, and, mercilessly, the doors slid open, so Yui-san loosened the arm holding me.
Aw, too bad. I’d really thought she was about to kiss me.
Yui-san let out a deep sigh and shook her head, small.
“…You and alcohol really don’t mix well.”
Don’t mix well — what does that mean? It’s true I might be weaker with alcohol than Yui-san, but it’s not like I can’t drink at all.
Tilting my head, still puzzled, I stepped off the elevator. Our room was just a short way off.
Ignoring Yui-san, still muttering something about my drinking habits, I tugged her jacket sleeve at the door — “hurry, open it.”
Yui-san held the room key from her chest pocket up to the panel, and with a click, the lock released, so, excited, I stepped inside.
A Tokyo night view through floor-to-ceiling glass, and decorations unified in Christmas design.
My eyes were drawn instantly to the large tree and the balloon art decorating the enormous bed.
“Wow, incredible! Yui-san, look! So many balloons!”
Rushing to the huge king-size bed, I sat down with a soft thud. The gold balloons decorating it floated up, light, from the impact.
I grabbed one and played with it, bouncing it between my hands, and Yui-san laughed, something in her relaxing.
“Glad you’re happy, but drink some water first, okay? There’s cake too, so once you’ve sobered up, let’s eat it together.”
“There’s cake too? Yay!”
While Yui-san went to fetch water from the mini fridge, I pulled off the red Christmas-themed bed runner and fell straight back onto the bed. Breathing in the fresh scent of clean linen, filling my lungs, I suddenly realized something.
Comfortable enough that I hadn’t even thought about it, but I was still wearing the precious dress Yui-san had bought me.
Come to think of it, where had my regular clothes gone? Scanning the room, I spotted a paper bag sitting on the luggage rack. Apparently our bags, checked during dinner, had already been carried up to the room ahead of us.
Bottle of mineral water in hand, Yui-san walked back toward the bed.
“Kanata, you okay?”
She looked down at me, worried. I’m not sick or anything. If anything, I feel floaty, good.
But something’s off with my heart. It won’t stop racing, faster and faster, ceaselessly.
No need to worry. More than that, I just want to be held, and I’ve been restless with that want this whole time.
I want you to tell me you love me, with your body, your lips, your fingers, right now.
Normally, you attack like a wolf — but the moment I’ve had a drink, for some reason, you always turn suddenly rational.
Reaching out gently, I called “Yui-san.” Apparently misunderstanding I wanted to be helped up, she took the hand I’d extended with the one not holding the bottle, and pulled, gentle. Ah, no, that’s not it.
Wanting her to understand, I pulled that hand toward myself, hard.
“Wa—!”
Thrown off balance, unprepared, Yui-san caught herself on the bed and toppled forward, onto me.
Making sure she couldn’t escape, I wrapped my arms tight around her neck and pulled her close.
Seeing her eyes go wide, startled, felt satisfying, a little. It’s not fair, always being the only one whose heart races. I want Yui-san’s heart to race for me too, more.
Gently tucking her long, glossy black hair behind her ear, I traced my finger along the edge of that ear, following its shape, and touched the silver earring glinting there.
Once more, I called “Yui-san,” pouring every bit of sweetness I could into my voice. But she just narrowed her eyes at me, scolding.
“…Kanata, the water?”
“It’s fine, I don’t need it… I’m not that drunk.”
“The fact that you keep saying that is exactly why I think you’re completely drunk…”
Wry, laughing, turning her gaze away from me — that annoyed me. The necklace I’d given her, the black onyx clover, swayed in front of my eyes. Her white throat. Feeling the smooth texture of her skin this close, my heart pounded, loud, at my own ear.
“Hey, Yui-san.”
“Mm?”
“…I don’t want my clothes to wrinkle, so… take them off.”
My fingertip traced, gentle, along her throat.
The ceiling felt like it was spinning. I didn’t think I could manage the zipper on my own back right now.
Wheedling, asking like that, Yui-san froze, like she’d turned to ice.
Strange. Yui-san’s supposed to grant any wish of mine, if I just ask.
Won’t you grant my wish tonight? As if asking that, I just stayed silent, watching her steadily.
Closing her eyes once, Yui-san took a slow, deep breath, then opened them, slow. That heated gaze pierced straight through my heart.
Even without words, that wanting look, unmistakable, made my body tremble. Yes — that’s exactly the look I wanted from you.
“…Kanata, you’re really unfair, you know.”
“Because… I can’t take it off myself.”
“That’s true. Fine, I’ll take it off for you.”
The arm around my back lifted me up. Leaning into her, half-clinging, as I rose, her lips pressed gently against my ear.
“…I was planning to hold off until we’d had cake.”
Her elegant fingers slipped under my skirt, dragging along my stocking-covered thigh. Fingers that usually touch bare skin directly felt strangely maddening, held back by that thin layer of fabric.
I want bare skin against mine. I wish she’d hurry up and take it off.
“Tonight, you don’t have to hold off on anything at all.”
Whether it’s the alcohol from earlier, or Yui-san herself, I can’t tell anymore. I’d been strange this whole time, even during dinner.
Just being touched by her sends shivers through my whole body.
“Should I take that as an invitation?”
“…Don’t ask that. Do whatever you want, Yui-san.”
This kind of exchange is nothing but playful teasing. Meaningless.
Because Yui-san must already understand — I’m just too embarrassed to say plainly that I “want to,” and it’s making me fidget.
We already did it yesterday, so at this rate, I might not have any room left to call Yui-san the “pervert” anymore.
“…Then, let’s save the cake for later.”
Whispered with a heated breath, I closed my eyes. Underneath the sweetness in her voice, desire flickered, unmistakable.
Since when, I wonder, has just being whispered to like that been enough to set something warm burning deep in my stomach?
Touched by her, I melt, helpless, like ice cream left out under the summer sun.
My chin taken, my lips claimed. Her thumb forced my lips apart, and through the gap, her soft tongue slipped in, tasting faintly of wine.
The balloon art decorating the bed swayed, light, floating.
The heat of her palm, touching my body, came through the thin fabric. Our lips parted, and our eyes met.
Yui-san smiled, gentle, and, kneeling, pressed her lips to my knee, peeking from the dress. Through the stocking, it felt ticklish, strange.
Her palm stroked down my calf. Then her hand reached the heel of the pumps I’d just been given.
Left foot first, then right, taken off in turn. I felt almost like Cinderella. Not glass slippers, but for me, close enough in value.
Just having my shoes removed, and my breath had already quickened. I know reacting this much isn’t exactly proper, but I want her, unbearably, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Yui-san lifted her face. Looking straight into my eyes, she smiled, gentle.
“…Kind of like a princess, huh.”
“That’s because you gave me such a cute dress, Yui-san.”
“No. Whatever you wear, ever since we met, you’ve always been my princess.”
If I’m a princess, then it’s Yui-san who cast the spell. Yui-san made me this way.
Saying something this saccharine without a shred of hesitation — maybe Yui-san’s just as drunk as me, in her own way.
Her hand reached my back, and I felt the zipper pulled down.
“Fufu… there’s someone trying to do something naughty to this princess.”
Having asked for it myself, I said it, teasing, and Yui-san laughed and kissed the back of my hand.
“…Can’t be helped, right? Since that’s exactly what the princess requested.”
It’s Christmas, after all, and once in a while’s fine. A night like this, once in a while, is allowed. Even if, just for tonight, we forget every constraint binding us and let ourselves get swept up in it, surely God would let it slide, just for today.
Giving in to that peculiar, floaty, pleasant feeling alcohol brings, I gently closed my eyes.
＊＊＊
Her lips pressed against my inner thigh, gently sucking on my skin. There must still be a red mark there from just yesterday, yet Yui-san always insists on leaving a mark here.
The number of marks increases every time I have sex with her; depending on her mood, they might be on the nape of my neck, my back, or beneath my collarbone, the location is always different, but my thigh is the one place where she never fails to leave one.
I wonder why. Does it mean anything? I don’t know, but if Yui-san wants to, I don’t resist and just let her get away with it. It’s not as if I’m going to show this body to anyone other than Yui-san, so I reckon she can do whatever she likes.
Her tongue slid smoothly over the red mark on my left thigh. Because she occasionally bites me lightly or licks me like this, the soft, warm and supple sensation tickles. But somehow, that felt rather nice too.
“You know, Yui-san, you always seem to leave marks… on my thighs, don’t you?”
When I pointed this out, Yui-san kissed my thigh one last time, then looked up and gave a mischievous smile.
“Oh, did I give myself away?”
“Well, it’s just that you always do it…”
Come to think of it, Yui-san is always stroking my thighs, and I do feel she touches them an unusually high number of times.
The more we’re together, the more I gradually come to understand Yui-san’s little quirks.
For example, when Yui-san’s really under pressure, she becomes rather quiet. I suspect she probably isn’t even aware of that about herself.
But I’m sure it goes both ways; Yui-san knows plenty about me that I don’t know myself.
In fact, when it comes to my body, I reckon Yui-san probably knows it far better than I do.
Whether she’s gentle or occasionally a bit mischievous, I love everything about her. I simply can’t get enough.
*
Our hot, sweaty bodies press close together. Our ragged breathing and my uncontrollable moans echo through the room. Her long fingers take complete control of me.
As she held me tight, as if to pin down my struggling body, my breathing grew faster and shallower.
I could tell we were both at our wits’ end. With my thoughts clouded by alcohol, I could think of nothing but “it feels so good”, and without caring that my nails were digging into her skin, I clung to her back as if clinging for dear life.
I gently sank my teeth into her beautifully shaped ear.
“Yui-san, it feels so good, do it more.”
When I said that in a raspy voice, between gasps of ragged breath, Yui-san called my name repeatedly, “Kanata”, as if on the verge of breaking. Just that alone made my chest feel unbearably tight and my heart ache.
Even though I was the one who’d begged for “more”, the moment I was cornered by those long fingers, I suddenly wanted to escape. The alluring, sweet scent of her perfume, wafting from the body I was clinging to, made me feel dizzy.
“I can’t take any more”, I murmured softly, and Yui-san pulled away sharply, peering down at my face. Her feverish black eyes were fixed on me.
I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a whimper. Why do Yui-san’s fingers feel so good?
For some reason, at a time like this, I found myself remembering Yui-san’s long fingers tracing over documents at work, and her smooth, neatly manicured round nails, and my body shivered with a thrill.
The serious gaze Yui-san shows whilst working is completely different from the fierce, wolf-like stare she’s directing at me right now.
And yet, I know that if I were to link those two impressions together, I’d only end up suffering in the future. Even whilst she’s at work, I feel as though I’ll be reminded of this sweet night every time I see her long fingers.
That gaze directed solely at me, that tense expression, everything pierces my heart so deeply that it feels as though it will never come out.
I felt a surge deep within me, and my hips lifted off the ground. Oh, I can’t take it anymore. Tears welled up slowly, uncontrollably.
What should I do? I want to bite her. But on Yui-san’s shoulder, blurred by my tears, the bite mark I left yesterday still remains, red and clear.
Perhaps realising I was trying my best to hold back, Yui-san gave a soft laugh and pressed her lips close to my ear.
“Kanata. …It’s all right to bite me.”
“B-but…”
“It’s fine. After all, it’ll feel better that way, won’t it?”
No, that wasn’t how it started. It began because it felt so good, and I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do, so I sank my teeth into that shoulder. But now—
I know it hurts when I bite. I’ve looked at the marks on her shoulder time and time again, and I’ve been feeling remorseful ever since.
I know it, but I can’t stop. I can’t hold back. Because sex with Yui-san is always so good that it makes me want to bite her.
She held me tight and called my name, “Kanata”, in a voice brimming with tenderness… and I succumbed to my desire.
I sank my teeth into the spot, overlapping the scar I’d left just yesterday. I bit down so hard that Yui-san groaned in pain.
A tingling sensation spread deep inside my head. I held her body, stiff with pain, tightly, never letting go.