The Beginning

Thus spoke the Lord:

“If you are tired, then rest.”

I asked the Lord: “Since I don’t want to get tired, is it alright if I rest forever?”

The Lord said this:

“Then find someone to take your place.
If you can push your responsibilities onto another, and still endure the pangs of an angel’s conscience — then so be it.”

　I nodded. With a smile.
It may have been the first time I had offered the Lord my heartfelt thanks and prayers.

Seeing my joy, the Lord seemed puzzled for some reason.

‘Do you truly intend to abandon your angelic duties?’

I nodded, then asked.
‘Why are you so surprised, Lord?’

The Lord said:

　‘Doesn’t your “conscience”, which should be the very essence of an angel, ache at all?’

I laughed.
All around me were fellow angels, their faces devoid of expression as they carried out their duties.
The Lord simply watched over us as we worked tirelessly. To that Lord, we angels offered our prayers constantly whilst we worked.

Ah, how absurd it all is

　How could one not laugh at this?

I tell the Lord.
I possess neither a conscience that aches, nor the resolve to fulfil an angel’s duty, I possess none of it.

For the first time, the Lord’s face betrayed a look of anger.
The Lord is about to say something.

But I have no intention of listening.

Because I have already gone and found one.

　Here, look — waaay down below.

You can see a pretty red flower blooming, can’t you?

♰

I open my eyelids.
　Countless raindrops patter against my eyes, my cheeks, my body.

My body is heavy. I have never experienced anything like this before.
Rain. So this is how cold it is — and yet how pleasant. Why do people go to the trouble of raising umbrellas just to refuse it?
The sky. Dark, endlessly dark. And every so often, the sky rumbles with a merry sound as it flashes with light. I could gaze at it forever, for as long as time allows.

But I cannot spend forever frolicking with nature.
Because the body of a human — neither angel, nor god, nor demon — even the time it takes to feel things passes quickly.

I push myself upright and take stock of my body.

The injuries from jumping off a six-story building appear to have fully healed, thanks to my soul taking up residence within it.
And yet, though the wounds are mended, a dull ache still reverberates through my head — perhaps a sign that even I could not restore the great quantity of blood that was lost.

I stand up — and oh, I could not help but feel a thrill of excitement at the sheer heaviness of this form.
Simply having my feet on the ground is a novelty, and I still cannot quite make it feel real.
And yet, I have indeed fallen from grace.
Though I am an angel by nature, I have exchanged bodies with a child of humanity.
For this body’s original owner was trying to find ease.
She had been dreaming of Heaven.

　So.

That is why I asked this girl — “Do you want to go to Heaven?”
And I entrusted the choice to her.
The girl reached her hand out toward me. Even in a human body, she had tried to touch me — one who had been an angel.
I confirmed only her intent, and placed a ticket in that outstretched hand.
With this, she should be able to reach even my seat in Heaven — the seat that was mine as an angel.

Now then.

I walk.

　A pitiful girl who chose to fall in an alleyway where no one would ever find her. Thanks to you, I can now walk through an ordinary life.
Even if my clothes are stained with blood, even if great bloodstains still remain on the ground — these are all trivial matters. This pleasant rain will wash everything away.

　Gunjō Hyōri-san.¹
This name, too, is mine from this moment on. The knowledge, the experiences, and the memories — memoirs — that you cultivated over your short life. All of it has become mine.

Now then, let us go home.
Let us make our way to my house.

It seems tomorrow is Monday.

The girl who looms so large in these memories — oh, I do look forward to meeting her.

The name “Gunjō Hyōri” is full of meaning: The surname “Gunjō” means “ultramarine”. - The given name “Hyōri” breaks down into “Hyō” meaning “ice” and “ri” meaning “beautiful/graceful”, literally “ice-beautiful” or “graceful as ice” — elegant, cool, perhaps a little untouchable. ↩