Episode 25: A Calm Heart
Honoka’s slender fingers wound tight around my arm.
“…Hey, Yuna.”
She called my name in a coaxing voice, pressing her face into my chest.
The gesture was so endearing that I stroked her hair gently.
“Mm? What is it?”
Honoka parted her lips as if she wanted to say something — but in the end, the words didn’t come.
Instead, she wound her arms around my waist and pressed herself even closer.
“…Nothing.”
Saying it, she nuzzled her face against me again.
I smiled at the sight of her, and held her softly.
Even after everything last night, here she was in the morning, still reaching for me just the same.
That single-mindedness was unbearably dear to me.
Thinking that, I pressed a light kiss to the top of her head.
Her arms wound around me even tighter in response.
“Yuna… let’s stay together all day today, okay?”
“Yeah, of course.”
When I answered, Honoka smiled with a relieved sort of ease.
Her love came through so directly that it filled something deep in my chest.
And being able to hold Honoka like this, with a calm, unhurried heart — that too felt good.
No more of the frantic anxiety. No more of the fear.
Just the simple happiness of feeling her warmth, at peace.
…That’s right. I’m not frantic anymore.
Until now I had been desperate to keep Honoka tethered to me.
Any sign that she might drift even slightly away would make me afraid, and I couldn’t help but hold on tighter.
But last night, I understood something: Honoka loves me deeply. Really loves me.
So now it’s different.
Because I know she loves me, I don’t need to bind her by force. Honoka isn’t going to leave me anymore.
So I can love her calmly, with room to breathe.
— This was the right way.
I held Honoka’s shoulders gently and thought that, quietly, to myself.
“…Hey, Yuna.”
“Mm?”
“…I want to stay like this forever.”
There was something almost desperate in Honoka’s voice — but I didn’t take it to heart.
I stroked her back gently and smiled.
“Yeah. We’ll always be together.”
I heard the faint sound of Honoka catching her breath.
But I didn’t think much of it, and simply held her, just as I was.
If Honoka wants me, I’ll be here for her. That’s all.
I have no more anxiety. Not anymore.
So I can hold her gently like this —
And I didn’t notice that Honoka’s slender fingers were digging into my back — clinging, clutching, as if holding on for dear life.
I believed she was fulfilled, there in my arms.
So I mistook her trembling breath for simple affection, and the faint stiffness in her fingertips for nothing more than sweetness.
— It never even occurred to me to wonder what Honoka was feeling, as she clung to me like that.