Summer Bonus Chapter: Sparklers
Ahead of me, her chestnut hair, tied up in a single ponytail, swayed with each step. Catching glimpses of her pale nape, I followed at an easy pace behind her back.
Kanata in a ponytail always brings back college days. Back from a part-time shift, she’d always carry the faint scent of coffee whenever I held her.
Stepping through the supermarket’s automatic doors, cool air brushed my cheeks.
My beloved, precious girlfriend turned back and urged me on — hurry, hurry. Watching her smile, so cute, I reached out. Catching that hand, I gripped it tight, firm, so she’d never go anywhere again.
*
Late August. Ever since we got back from the business trip, the days had been a rush of chaos.
We’d finally become a real couple, and yet I’d barely gotten any time with her at all, swallowed up by the long-anticipated new store opening — something I genuinely regretted.
It wasn’t until two weeks after the opening, work finally settling down, that I could properly take time off.
Thanks to Kanata, work had gotten considerably easier compared to before.
Exactly as Yamasato-san’s recommendation letter had said, Kanata really is diligent, genuinely capable.
Cute, precious, my most important person in the world, my girlfriend — I feel it, genuinely, how much she’s supporting me. For all my resistance about making her secretary, I think, belatedly, it really was the right call.
Even I’m surprised by myself — for Kanata’s sake, it feels like there’s nothing I couldn’t do.
The effort I’d stacked up, all through those years apart, finally felt like it had paid off.
Until I met Kanata, I never once knew I had this side to me.
Our first weekend off, finally lined up together. Friday night, I invited her — “let’s watch a movie” — and brought her back to that house we’d lived in together during college.
Even though we’d been seeing each other’s faces at work every day, these past two weeks had left no room for anything resembling a proper couple.
I caught Kanata wandering the house, nostalgic, and pulled her into a tight embrace, then, giving her no say in the matter, shut her away in the bedroom.
Four years’ worth of loving Kanata, endlessly, unbearably — I wanted her to accept all of it, right then.
And now, Saturday morning. It took real effort winning back the mood of a sulking Kanata — “you said we’d watch a movie” — but even that, I found myself thinking, is unbearably precious. I’ve been in love with her, that thoroughly, ever since that day.
The summer of our junior year, we watched fireworks together. That day, I’d promised — “next year, I’ll book you a viewing seat” — and yet the following summer, Kanata was no longer beside me at all.
So this year, of all years, I’d wanted to actually take her — but work swallowed me whole again, and I couldn’t keep that promise.
I apologized, and rather than blame me for it, Kanata just laughed and pulled my hand toward buying handheld sparklers instead.
Once the evening shower let up, we walked the road to the supermarket hand in hand through the humid, lukewarm air, trading idle conversation.
I found myself praying, from the very bottom of my heart, that ordinary days like this could go on forever, until this heart of mine finally stops.
That’s how happy this Saturday afternoon made me.
“Ah, Yui-san, they have sparklers! Let’s get this one.”
I took the largest value-pack of sparklers she’d picked up and dropped it into the basket.
I did wonder, briefly, whether the two of us could actually get through that many — but better too many than not enough.
“I don’t have a lighter, so we need to buy one.”
I picked up the smallest lighter on display, and Kanata, beside me, picked up a candle package sitting next to it.
“You use a candle for sparklers?”
I asked, casual, and Kanata blinked at me, wide-eyed.
“…Yui-san, is this maybe your first time doing handheld sparklers?”
“Yeah, never done it.”
“Really? Not even once?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded, honest. At that, Kanata smiled, happy, for some reason.
“I see. Then today’s definitely my win.”
Kanata said it, laughing, and started down the narrow supermarket aisle.
“Win? Since when are sparklers a competition?”
I asked, my eyes caught on the pale upper arm peeking from her sleeveless top, just ahead of me.
“They are. You light two senko-hanabi at the same time, and whoever’s ember doesn’t fall off first wins. And there’s a rule — the loser has to do whatever the winner says.”
“Hmm…?”
I knew immediately it was a lie. Kanata’s so easy to read, so genuinely cute.
Is there some request she wants that badly, that she’d go to these lengths to ask? If there’s something she wants me to do, she could just say so — I’d grant any wish of Kanata’s, without needing some roundabout scheme like this.
That’s what I thought, but — maybe this was a chance for me too.
“…So that means, if I win, Kanata has to do whatever I say?”
I asked, and she turned back, laughing.
“That’s right. But that’s only if you, a sparkler beginner, can actually beat me. Come on, let’s grab ice cream and head home.”
Clearly never imagining she could lose, Kanata hummed to herself, happily browsing the ice cream section.
Value-pack sparklers, a candle, a lighter. Two strawberry Häagen-Dazs, and the mosquito coil Kanata insisted we absolutely needed, all went into the shopping bag, and we headed home.
Late August meant an early sunset — already dim before seven PM — and the end of summer was palpable in the air.
Right after getting home, putting the ice cream in the freezer before it could melt, I heard the slap of Kanata’s slippers approaching.
Looking up, I found her hugging, against her chest, the seal plushie I’d once stolen from her.
She’d apparently just noticed the seal, displayed up on the shelf.
“Hey, Yui-san, can I take this one home with me?”
“Eh, why?”
“Why, because… I want to line them all up together.”
All of them — meaning the orca and whale shark plushies I’d bought her that summer, back then.
I pictured Kanata’s room, which I’ve never once actually visited. The plushies weren’t especially large, but lining up three of them would practically turn the place into an aquarium, I thought, distant.
Lost in that thought, taking too long to answer, Kanata must have assumed I was about to refuse, because she scowled and hugged the seal even tighter.
“You said this one was supposed to stand in for me. So it’s fine now, isn’t it? Because I’m right here now…”
Hearing that, I couldn’t help but laugh. Honestly, why does this girl always say things this cute?
Unable to help myself, I pulled her slender body into a tight embrace.
Same shampoo as mine, and yet, coming from Kanata, it smells wonderful.
“…You’re right. Fine, take him home.”
It’s true — Kanata really is here, right now. Which means that seal’s job, the one I’d borrowed for that role, is done.
Besides, she’ll be moving back into this house again soon enough anyway.
Once everything’s settled, once the day comes when we can live together in this house again with nothing left to worry about — that’s when.
After that, we ate the dinner we’d made together, finished bathing, then turned on the garden lights and stepped outside.
Filling a bucket from the outdoor tap I rarely use, I made my way back by the light at my feet, and found Kanata already crouched at the edge of the wood deck, spreading out the sparklers, getting things ready.
Since reconnecting and starting to work together, I’ve noticed, more and more, how grown-up Kanata’s become — but watching her like this, delighted right in front of me, she hasn’t changed a bit from back then.
“Your house has such a nice, spacious garden, Yui-san. I’m jealous.”
“You think? Well, it’s a bit too big for just one person living alone.”
Setting the bucket down on the concrete, Kanata sat at the edge of the deck and set the coiled green mosquito repellent onto its silver stand.
I caught her hand as she reached for the lighter, stopping her.
“Fire’s dangerous, I’ll light it.”
Overprotective, Kanata laughed, saying it. Say whatever you want — better that than Kanata getting burned.
“Kanata, I forgot to bring out the drinks. I’ll handle this, go grab something from the fridge.”
“Got it.”
At my request, she stood, obedient. My eyes caught on a red mark on the pale inner thigh peeking from her shorts.
Something I’d left there last night, though Kanata apparently hadn’t noticed yet.
She’d said marks were fine as long as they stayed somewhere hidden, and I’d gotten carried away, gone a little overboard.
She probably hasn’t noticed there are a few on her back too — I’ll need to tell her about that later. Thinking that, I lit the edge of the mosquito coil.
Sitting at the edge of the deck, sipping a highball, wrapped in the smell of mosquito coil and gunpowder, I watched Kanata, delighted.
My first time ever doing handheld sparklers, and I found myself thinking — buying the biggest value-pack really had been the right call.
Lighting, extinguishing, lighting again, over and over, the bucket filled fast, and the sparklers dwindled just as quickly.
“Alright, Yui-san. Let’s have our match.”
Saying that at last, Kanata pulled out one thin senko-hanabi and handed it to me.
“…The loser does whatever the winner says, right?”
I asked, double-checking, and Kanata nodded, easy.
“That’s right. Whoever’s ember falls to the ground first loses. Senko-hanabi are actually pretty hard to keep from dropping, you know.”
“Hmm. You sound awfully confident, Kanata. You really think you’ll beat me for sure?”
Asked that, Kanata nodded, firm, like victory was already certain.
Cute. Win or lose, I’d already decided I’d grant her wish either way — but since we’re at it, I wanted her to grant mine too.
Crouching in front of the candle, we lit the tips of our sparklers at the same time. After a brief pause, small sparks began scattering with a crackling sound.
I watched Kanata, lit by the glowing sparkler in the dark, staring seriously at the ember.
I want to marry her. Not Shinji. Kanata.
Too happy, maybe I’d gone a little foolish. That thought struck me, out of nowhere.
I know. I know perfectly well that something like that isn’t possible in Japan right now.
But while Kanata’s feelings are still turned toward me, I wanted to swear this love between us.
I wanted to hold her, lock her away somewhere she could never leave.
“Ah.”
Caught up in that thought, the swollen tip of Kanata’s sparkler trembled, faint, and dropped to the concrete with a small hiss.
Mine was still crackling, scattering sparks.
“…Kanata.”
I said her name, looking at her, staring down at the ground.
“This means I win, right?”
A beat later, my own sparkler’s flame settled, and, never touching the ground, quietly went out on its own.
“Who said it was one round and done? I’ve still got more… sparklers.”
Pouting, and I laughed at her.
“Want to go again? Sure, as many times as you want.”
I’ve always been fairly good with my hands. One round in, and I’d already caught the trick of it. I had no intention of losing.
Answering her challenge, we kept the match going until the sparklers ran out — but in the end, Kanata never once managed to beat me.
I handed her the Häagen-Dazs I’d kept chilled in the freezer and sat back down on the deck.
Kanata sat there sulking, legs swinging idly, and when I pressed my shoulder right against hers, she peeled the lid off her ice cream, still visibly annoyed.
“Come on, cheer up already.”
“…You’re really not being a good sport about this, Yui-san.”
“Well, it was a serious match, wasn’t it?”
She’d said she liked strawberry Häagen-Dazs, so I’d gotten the same flavor. Sweet, sure enough, exactly the kind of thing Kanata would like.
My girlfriend, who should have been in a sour mood, ate her ice cream quietly, her expression gradually softening — so it seemed bringing ice cream to smooth things over really had been the right call.
Timing it for right around when she’d be finishing, I gently wrapped an arm around her slender waist. Kanata looked at me, startled, and when I brought my lips close to her neck, I caught the scent of sparklers mixed with fresh-from-the-bath Kanata.
“Um, Yui-san?”
“…You said you’d do whatever I asked, didn’t you?”
I let my palm trail over the smooth, pale thigh I’d wanted to touch this whole time.
Maybe because I’d been holding back so long, ever since that day we were separated — my brakes had, at some point, simply stopped working, and once I knew our feelings truly connected, there was no reining it in anymore at all.
Kanata’s hand shot up, catching mine in a panic, her pale brown eyes wavering.
Cute. Precious. I want to hold her. That’s all I could think.
With my hand blocked from touching further, I settled for stroking her cheek instead, and brought my lips to hers.
Even kissed, Kanata doesn’t resist anymore. Doesn’t refuse me anymore.
Lips touching, again and again, repeated kisses. I licked lightly at her lip, urging her mouth open, and, troubled, Kanata gripped my T-shirt tight in her fist.
Cute. I want more. However many times, that innocent reaction sets something warm burning in my chest.
Open your mouth, I murmured, small, and as she obediently complied, I pulled her body in even tighter and slipped my tongue through the small gap of her parted lips.
I chase her small, cold tongue, wrapping mine around it. It tastes sweet, like strawberries.
I know Kanata’s not especially comfortable with this kind of thing, and rationally, I know I need to treasure her properly — and yet I can’t stop my own hands from wanting more.
I know this side of me isn’t good.
The sweet sound escaping through her nose melts my reason into a gooey mess. But it’s alright now, isn’t it? After all, it’s been so long since we spent time like this together. We’re lovers. Nothing stands between us.
Her hand, pressing at my shoulder to say it hurts, brushed against the wound she’d bitten into me the night before, and it ached, faintly.
Reluctantly, I gently withdrew my tongue and broke the kiss. Wiping her damp lips with my thumb, her eyes met mine hesitantly.
“Um, Yui-san…”
“What?”
“I mean, I did say I’d do whatever you asked, but… this isn’t really what I meant by that, is it…?”
“Are there rules against it? You said whatever I asked, didn’t you? That was the rule, wasn’t it?”
“B-but… we already did it last night…”
“I want to today too. Not allowed?”
Inviting her like that, Kanata flushed red and looked down.
“…But we still need to clean up the sparklers.”
Is she genuinely reluctant, or just embarrassed? Wanting to know, I searched her eyes.
Wavering, faintly hesitant, but not looking like she actually hated it. Push just a little more, and I think Kanata would nod along.
Thinking that, I gripped her hand tight.
“…I’ll clean up tomorrow morning. Okay? You’ll do what I ask, won’t you?”
Pressing the final point home, Kanata looked back into my eyes, timid, then nodded, once, small.
Still holding her hand, I gently pushed her down onto the bed and kissed her repeatedly, as if to confirm.
I love everything about this girl. Her slight body, her narrow waist, this smooth skin.
The moment of undressing her always sends a rush through me. Meeting eyes damp with something between anticipation and anxiety stirs up a want in me I know isn’t entirely good.
Even the very first time I held Kanata, I genuinely had no composure left at all.
Holding a girl used to be the simplest thing in the world. And yet, faced with Kanata, it suddenly feels impossibly difficult.
My heart pounds so hard, so constantly, it feels like it might actually break, my head threatening to come apart.
I need to hold back, properly. Never make Kanata cry. Never let desire win and wreck her completely.
Kanata always said she was “frigid” — but touching her for real, that wasn’t true at all. If anything, she might be a little sensitive — though I’ll keep that thought to myself.
Absorbed in the heat coming from my left hand’s middle and ring fingers, I heard my name called, halting, and looked at her tear-blurred eyes.
That expression stirs me up, foolishly. Unbearable. I could watch it forever. I want more. More and more.
I can’t, I really can’t anymore — Kanata telling me her limit, so cute it makes me not want this to end yet.
But drag it out too long and Kanata will cry, so I need to bring it to a close.
I’m always fighting against my own wants, endlessly.
Pulling her tight against me, clinging, I brought my lips to her earlobe and bit down lightly, and Kanata turned her face sharply away.
I’d been happy she was holding onto me, but, as if she’d suddenly remembered something, she unwound the arms she’d had around my body and pressed her own arm over her mouth instead.
I understood immediately — she must be worried about biting me again, like yesterday. I caught that arm with my right hand and pinned it firmly to the bed.
A small, sweet sound slipped free. Those clear, pale brown eyes crumpled, tears spilling, unstoppable.
Ah, I’ve made her cry again. Even after deciding I wouldn’t. Sorry, Kanata.
As a kind of penance, I brought my lips to her ear and whispered, gentle as I could manage: “You can bite me, it’s fine.”
Her hesitant arm wrapped tight around my body. And then, right as I thought that, a sharp pain shot through my left shoulder, same as yesterday — I couldn’t help a small groan at the sting, but even that pain, I found, was precious to me.
＊＊＊
“So, what was it you actually wanted from me?”
Wrapped in the sheet, sitting hunched with her knees drawn up, thoroughly sulking, I asked from behind, hugging her, and Kanata glared back at me with just her eyes.
The corners of her eyes were still a little red. Maybe I’d overdone it — feeling a pang of regret, I pressed kiss after kiss to her cheek, her shoulder.
“Never mind, it’s fine now… I lost anyway.”
“Don’t say that, tell me.”
Win or lose, I’d already planned to grant her wish regardless.
“Is there something you want? I’ll buy you anything. So stop sulking. Let’s go buy it tomorrow, okay?”
I asked, and she shook her head, small. If that’s not it, then what? However hard I thought, I couldn’t figure it out at all.
Losing patience, I called her name again — “Kanata” — and gave her body a gentle shake.
Seeming to resign herself to the fact that I wasn’t going to let this go, Kanata finally spoke, lips pursed.
“…It’s nothing, really, I just wanted to ask you to promise you’d absolutely take me to a fireworks festival next year…”
“Eh? That’s it?”
My girlfriend, the cutest in the entire world, pulled her knees in tighter, making herself even smaller.
“…And yet, Yui-san, you wouldn’t even let me win, not once, and just kept doing… lewd things.”
If it was a wish that sweet, I really should have just let her win.
Unbearably precious, I couldn’t hold back a laugh, and Kanata spun around to face me, brows drawn tight, clearly put out.
“Why are you laughing? Forget it, I don’t even know you anymore!”
“Sorry, sorry, it’s just, you’re so cute. Sorry for being a poor sport. I promise I’ll take you next year for sure, so cheer up.”
Sheet and all, I pulled her into a tight, tight embrace.
Still sulking in my arms, my precious, beloved girlfriend — how should I go about winning her mood back this time?
Thinking that over, I found myself thinking — ah, I’m happy. That was the summer I turned twenty-five.