Summer Special: Sparklers

Before me, a single ponytail of chestnut-brown hair swayed as she walked. My gaze was drawn to the occasional glimpse of her pale nape, and I followed her back, walking slowly.

Seeing Kanata with her hair in a ponytail reminded me of our university days. When I hugged her after her part-time job, she always faintly smelled of coffee.

　Stepping through the supermarket’s automatic doors, a cool breeze brushed my cheeks.

My beloved, beloved lover turned back, urging me on with “Hurry up, hurry up!” Her smiling face was so adorable I reached out. She took my hand and squeezed it tightly, as if to say she wouldn’t go anywhere.

　Since returning from my business trip at the end of August, the days had been hectic.

It was truly regrettable that, despite finally becoming lovers, time was taken up by the long-awaited opening of the new shop, leaving us little time together.
In the end, it wasn’t until two weeks after the opening that work finally settled down and I could take a proper break.

　Thanks to Kanata, the work was considerably easier than before.
Just as Yamazato-san’s recommendation stated, Kanata was truly diligent and excellent.

I felt it deeply in my heart – I was being supported by my beloved, my precious, my most important girlfriend. Even though I’d been so reluctant to make her my secretary, I now realised it had been the right decision.

　It surprises even me, but for Kanata, I feel I could do anything.

It felt like all the effort I’d put in during our time apart had finally paid off.
Before meeting Kanata, I’d never known this side of myself existed.

At last, we had a weekend off together. On Friday night, I invited Kanata to “watch a film” and took her back to that house we’d shared during university.

　Even though we saw each other every day at work, we hadn’t done anything remotely romantic in these past two weeks.
I caught Kanata, who was wandering nostalgically around the room, and pulled her close, then without a word, I shut her in the bedroom.

I just wanted her to take in all the love I’d felt for her over these past four years – the love that was so overwhelming I couldn’t bear it.

And today, Saturday morning. It took some effort to appease Kanata, who was sulking, “You said we’d watch a film,” but even that felt unbearably precious. Ever since that moment, I’ve been in love with Kanata.

That summer of my third year at university, Kanata and I watched fireworks together. That day, I promised, “Next year, I’ll book us seats in the viewing area.” Yet the following summer, Kanata was no longer by my side.

So this year, I really wanted to take her — but in the end, swamped with work, I couldn’t keep my promise.

“I’m sorry,” I apologised. Without reproach, Kanata took my hand and smiled, suggesting we go buy some handheld fireworks instead.

　After the evening shower had passed, we walked hand in hand to the supermarket, chatting about trivial things in the damp, lukewarm air.

I couldn’t help but pray from the bottom of my heart that this everyday life would continue forever, until my own heart stopped beating.
It was such a happy weekend afternoon that I felt this way.

“Ah, Yui-san, they had fireworks! Let’s get these.”

　I took the largest pack of fireworks, labelled ‘value pack’, from Kanata’s hand and placed it in the shopping basket.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t wondered whether the two of us could possibly manage so many, but better too many than too few.

“We don’t have a lighter, so we’ll need to buy one.”

I picked up the smallest lighter on display, and Kanata then took a package of candles from beside it.

“Fireworks… use candles?”

I asked casually, and Kanata’s eyes widened in surprise.

“…Yui-san, could it be… this is your first time with handheld fireworks?”

“Yeah, I’ve never done it before.”

“Really? Not even once?”

“Yeah.”

I nodded honestly. Then, for some reason, Kanata smiled happily.

“I see. Well then, I suppose today will be my win.”

Kanata laughed as she said this, and started walking down the narrow supermarket aisle.

“Win? What do you mean? Are fireworks supposed to be a competition?”

I asked, my eyes drawn to the white upper arm peeking out from Kanata’s sleeveless top as she walked slightly ahead of me.

“That’s right. You light the sparklers at the same time, and whoever’s sparkler stays lit the longest without falling wins. And there’s a rule that the loser has to do whatever the winner says.”

“Hmm…?”

I knew immediately it was a lie. Kanata was so transparent, and truly adorable.
Did she have a request she wanted me to hear so badly? Was there something she wanted me to do? If so, she needn’t resort to such roundabout methods. If it was Kanata’s wish, I’d grant her anything.

That’s what I thought, but perhaps this was an opportunity for me too.

“…So, if I win, you’ll do whatever I say, right?”

When I asked, she turned around and smiled.

“That’s right. But only if Yui-san, a fireworks novice, manages to beat me. Come on, let’s buy some ice cream and head home.”

Kanata, clearly not thinking for a moment she might lose, was happily humming as she browsed the ice creams.

　Bargain fireworks, candles, and a lighter. Two tubs of Häagen-Dazs strawberry flavour, plus the mosquito coils Kanata insisted were absolutely necessary, were placed in a carrier bag as we headed home.

By late August, sunset came early. Before seven o’clock, the surroundings had already grown dim, and the end of summer was palpable.

　Upon getting home, I quickly stowed the ice cream in the freezer to prevent it melting, when Kanata approached with the patter-patter of her slippers.
Lifting my gaze, I saw her clutching the seal soft toy I’d once snatched from her.
She’d apparently just noticed the seal I’d displayed on the shelf.

“Hey, Yui-san, can I take this one home?”

“Eh? Why?”

“Why? Because I want to line them all up together.”

‘All of them’… she meant the killer whale and whale shark plushies I’d bought for her that summer.
I pictured Kanata’s room, a place I’d never even been to. They weren’t particularly large stuffed animals, but I vaguely thought that lining up all three would probably make it look like an aquarium.

Perhaps thinking I was going to refuse because I hadn’t answered straight away, Kanata scowled and hugged the seal even tighter.

“This child said she’d take my place, didn’t she? Well then, that’s fine, isn’t it? Because I’m here now…”

Hearing that, I couldn’t help but laugh. Really, why does this child only ever say such adorable things?
I couldn’t resist any longer and pulled her slender body tightly against me.
Even though it was the same shampoo scent as mine, just coming from Kanata made it smell incredibly lovely.

“…I suppose so. Alright then, take her home.”

Indeed, Kanata was here now. So the seal I borrowed that day had served its purpose.
Besides, she’d probably be back at this house again soon anyway.
When everything was over, and the day came when I could live here again with Kanata without a care in the world, then.

　After we’d eaten the dinner we’d made together and finished bathing. I’d switch on the garden light and step outside.
Filling a bucket from the rarely-used outside tap, I’d return by the light at my feet to find Kanata already spread out fireworks at the edge of the wooden deck, starting preparations.

　Since we reunited and started working together, I’ve often thought Kanata has grown up, but seeing her so excited right here before me, she hasn’t changed a bit from back then.

“Yui-san’s house, the garden’s lovely and spacious, isn’t it? I’m envious.”

“Is it? Well, it is a bit too big for just one person, though.”

　Setting the bucket down on the concrete ground, Kanata sat on the edge of the wooden deck, placing a green, coiled mosquito coil onto a silver lid.
I grabbed her hand as she reached for the lighter.

“Fire’s dangerous. I’ll light it.”

“You’re being overprotective, aren’t you?” Kanata laughed. Call it what you like. Better than Kanata getting burned.

“Kanata, I forgot to bring the drinks. I’ll sort it, so fetch them from the fridge.”

“Right.”

When asked, Kanata obediently stood up. My eyes were drawn to the red mark on her white inner thigh, visible through her loungewear shorts.
I’d left it there last night, but Kanata hadn’t noticed yet.

She said it was fine to leave kiss marks where they couldn’t be seen, so I got carried away and went overboard.
She probably hasn’t noticed this one either, but I must tell her later that there are actually a few on her back too. Thinking such things, I lit the end of a mosquito coil.

　Sitting on the edge of the wooden deck, I sipped my highball, enveloped in the scent of mosquito coils and gunpowder, watching Kanata frolic.

It struck me as I handled the handheld fireworks for the first time: buying the largest, value-pack fireworks bundle had definitely been the right call.
Lighting them, extinguishing them, lighting them again – the bucket filled up in no time, and the fireworks vanished in a flash.

“Right then, Yui-san. Let’s have a contest.”

Saying that finally, Kanata took a spindly sparkler and handed it to me.

“…The loser does what the winner says, right?”

When I asked to confirm, Kanata nodded obediently.

“That’s right. The one whose sparkler’s ember hits the ground first loses. Sparklers are actually quite tricky to keep from dropping, you know.”

“Hmm. You seem very confident, Kanata. Think you can definitely beat me?”

When I asked that, Kanata nodded vigorously, as if certain of victory.
Cute. Win or lose, I’d intended to grant Kanata’s wish either way, but since we were at it, I wanted my wish granted too.

　We crouched before the candle and lit the ends of our sparklers simultaneously. After a brief pause, tiny sparks began to scatter with a crackling sound.

I watched Kanata, her face illuminated by the sparklers glowing in the darkness as she stared intently at the flame.

　I want to marry. Not Shinji, but Kanata.

I might have gone daft from being too happy. Suddenly, that thought struck me.

I know. I know it’s impossible in Japan today.
But while Kanata’s feelings were still directed at me, I wanted to pledge this love.
I wanted to hold them tight, to lock them away so they’d never leave.

“Ah!”

While I was lost in these thoughts, the swollen tip of the sparkler Kanata held trembled slightly, made a hissing sound, and fell onto the concrete.
My sparkler was still crackling and scattering sparks.

“…Kanata.”

Calling her name, she stared intently at my feet, then turned her gaze towards me.

“This means I win, right?”

A moment later, the sparks from my sparkler began to die down. They never quite reached the ground, fading away quietly instead.

“Who said it was a one-off? I’ve still got more… sparklers.”

I smiled at Kanata, who was pouting.

“Want to do it again? Fine, as many times as you like.”

My fingers were naturally dexterous. After one go, I’d got the hang of it. I had no intention of losing.

I accepted Kanata’s challenge, and we kept competing until the sparklers ran out. In the end, Kanata never once managed to beat me.

　Handing Kanata the Häagen-Dazs I’d chilled in the freezer, I sat down on the wooden deck.
Snuggling my shoulder right up against Kanata’s, who was sulking with her legs dangling, she pulled the lid off the ice cream with a sharp rip, still looking miffed.

“Come on, cheer up already.”

“…Yui-san, you’re being childish.”

“But it was a proper contest, wasn’t it?”

She said she liked the strawberry flavour of Häagen-Dazs, so I got the same. It was certainly sweet, just the sort of flavour I thought Kanata would like.

　My girlfriend, who should have been sulking, was silently tucking into her ice cream. Gradually, her expression softened. It seemed bringing ice cream to cheer her up had been the right move after all.

When I judged she was nearly finished, I gently wrapped my arm around her slender waist. As I pressed my lips to the nape of her neck, where she looked at me in surprise, I caught the scent of fireworks and the smell of Kanata fresh from the bath.

“Um, Yui-san?”

“…You said you’d do anything I asked, right?”

My palm slid over her smooth, white thigh – something I’d longed to touch for so long.
Perhaps because I’d held back since the day we were separated, my brakes had broken without me noticing. Once I knew our feelings were mutual, I’d lost all restraint.

　Kanata hurriedly grabbed my hand to stop me, her pale brown eyes flickering.
Cute. Precious. I want to hold her. That’s all I could think about.

Since my hand was blocked from touching her, I reluctantly stroked Kanata’s cheek with my palm instead, then pressed my lips to hers.

Even when I kissed her, Kanata didn’t resist. She wouldn’t reject me anymore.
We touched lips several times, repeating the kiss. When I lightly licked her lips, urging her to open her mouth, Kanata clutched my T-shirt tightly, looking troubled.
Adorable. I wanted more. No matter how many times we did it, her innocent reactions made my heart burn.

　Whispering softly, “Open your mouth,” I pull her compliant body closer, squeezing her tighter, then slip my tongue into the small opening between her parted lips.

I chase her small, cold tongue, wrapping mine around it. It tastes sweet, like strawberries.

　I know she’s not very good at this sort of thing, and my rational mind tells me I should be gentle, but my hands can’t stop seeking her out.
I know this isn’t right.

The sweet sound escaping through her nose melts my reason into a gooey mess. But it’s alright now, isn’t it? After all, it’s been so long since we spent time like this together. We’re lovers. Nothing stands between us.

　Her hand pressing my shoulder in protest touched the bite mark Kanata left last night, stinging slightly.
Reluctantly, I gently withdrew my tongue and broke the kiss. Wiping her damp lips with my thumb, her eyes met mine hesitantly.

“Um, Yui-san…”

“What?”

“Well, I did say I’d do anything you asked… but this isn’t quite what I meant by ‘ask’, is it…?”

“Are there rules? You’ll do anything, won’t you? That was the deal, wasn’t it?”

“Bu-but… we did it yesterday too…”

“I want to do it today. Is that not allowed?”

When I said that, inviting her, Kanata blushed and looked down.

“…But we have to tidy up the fireworks.”

Was she genuinely reluctant? Or just embarrassed? Wanting to know, I peered into her eyes.
Her wavering gaze seemed slightly hesitant, but not unwilling. If I pushed a little more, Kanata would probably nod.
Thinking that, I squeezed her hand tightly.

“…I’ll tidy up tomorrow morning. Right? You’ll listen to me, won’t you?”

As if to seal the deal, she timidly met my gaze again, then nodded once.

Still holding her hand, I gently pushed her down onto the bed and kissed her repeatedly, as if to confirm.

I adore everything about this girl. Her slender frame, her narrow waist, her smooth skin.
The moment I undress her always fills me with excitement. When our eyes meet, her gaze moist with a mixture of anticipation and unease, that improper desire slowly wells up inside me.

Even the first time I held Kanata, I wasn’t remotely composed.

Holding a girl should have been simple. But with Kanata, it suddenly feels incredibly difficult.
My heart pounds relentlessly, as if it might shatter, and my head feels like it might explode.

I have to hold back properly. Never make Kanata cry. Never give in to desire and ruin everything.

Kanata said she was “frigid,” but when I actually touched her, it was nothing of the sort. If anything, she might be a bit sensitive, I thought, though I kept that to myself.

Lost in the heat radiating through my left hand’s middle and ring fingers, I heard her stammer my name and gazed into her tear-filled eyes.

That look of hers teased me like a fool. It was unbearable. I could stare forever. I wanted more. So much more.

　Kanata, telling me she’d reached her limit with that “I can’t take it anymore” look, was far too adorable. I didn’t want it to end yet.
But if I dragged it out too long, Kanata would cry, so I had to let her finish.
I’m always fighting my own desires.

When I pressed my lips to the lobe of Kanata’s ear, clinging tightly to my body, and bit it lightly, she abruptly turned her face away.

　I was so happy she’d clung to me, but as if she’d realised something, she released the arms wrapped around my body and covered her mouth with her hand.
I immediately realised she seemed worried about biting me yesterday. I grabbed that arm with my right hand, pulled it away, and pinned it firmly to the bed.

　A small, sweet sound escaped her. Her clear, pale brown eyes distorted, tears streaming down, falling without end.

Ah, I’ve made her cry again. I’d decided I wouldn’t make her cry anymore. I’m sorry, Kanata.
With contrition, I brought my lips close to her ear and whispered, with the utmost gentleness, “It’s okay to bite me.”

The arm that had hesitated clasped my body tightly. Just as I thought that, the same sharp pain as yesterday shot through my left shoulder — I groaned involuntarily at the pain, yet even that ache felt precious.

＊＊＊

“So, what did you want me to do, Kanata?”

Hugging Kanata from behind as she sat cross-legged, wrapped in the sheets, her back completely arched, I asked. She turned to look at me with a dissatisfied glare, her eyes alone conveying her displeasure.

The corners of her eyes were slightly red. Perhaps I’d gone a bit too far, I reflected, kissing her cheek and shoulder repeatedly.

“It’s fine now… I lost anyway.”

“Don’t say that. Tell me.”

Whether I won or lost the bet, I’d intended to grant Kanata’s request either way.

“Is there something you want? I’ll buy you anything. So stop sulking. We’ll go shopping tomorrow. Right?”

When I asked, she shook her head vigorously. If not that, then what? I racked my brains, but couldn’t figure it out at all.

　Losing patience, I called “Kanata” again and shook her body.
Then, as if resigning herself to my persistence, she pouted and said.

“…Nothing really. I just… was going to ask you to take me to the fireworks festival next year, no matter what…”

“Eh? That’s all?”

My world’s cutest girlfriend hugged her knees tightly, shrinking even smaller.

“…And yet, Yui-san, you just wouldn’t give in at all… all you did was make suggestive remarks.”

If it was such an adorable request, I really should have given in.
I found her so endearing I couldn’t help but laugh. Kanata whipped her head around, frowning as if to say she was thoroughly displeased.

“Why are you laughing? Fine, I don’t know Yui-san anymore!”

“Sorry, sorry! It’s just… you’re so adorable. Sorry for being such a child. I’ll definitely take you next year, so cheer up, okay?”

I hugged Kanata tightly, sheets and all.
How on earth was I supposed to appease my beloved girlfriend, still fuming in my arms?

As I pondered that, I thought, ah, how happy I am… It was summer, and I was twenty-five.