Episode 100: I’ll give you everything. All of me, I’ll give to you

The sound of keyboard clicks echoed through the president’s office.

At my desk, I absentmindedly popped chocolate into my mouth, piece after piece, which Yui-san had received from a female colleague.

Occasionally, I sensed a glance stealing a peek at me, but I ignored it and rustled open another chocolate wrapper.

　Some of the neatly wrapped ribbons held message cards bearing phone numbers or chat app IDs, so I crumpled them up and tossed them in the bin.

They were thoughtful gestures, and my conscience wasn’t entirely clear — but I reckon this kind of pre-emptive strike is crucial.

　Complacency is the enemy. You have to steel your heart and remain detached.

My position is different now. From here on, it’s purely defensive warfare. You never know when or where the enemy might strike.

Having polished off two boxes by midday, I ate a hearty lunch and, by four o’clock, had already started on the fourth box.

　Yui-san received five chocolates in total. Compared to her student days, the number had halved, but the intensity packed into each seemed stronger.

Back then, Yui-san publicly declared she wouldn’t have a boyfriend, so the girls who approached her accepted a purely platonic relationship.

But the girls pursuing Yui-san now know nothing of her past. I suspect every single one of them is serious.

“…Hey, Kanata. Are you alright eating so much? Won’t you feel sick?”

“I’m fine. I’ve never felt sick from eating chocolate.”

“You really do eat a lot, Kanata, don’t you? You’re so slim.”

“Do I?”

Perhaps it’s just that Yui-san eats very little. Lunch consisting of just one rice ball and a salad? I couldn’t imagine it myself.

　Just as I popped the last piece from the fourth box into my mouth, the lamp on the desk phone suddenly began flashing red.
Checking the display, it read “Reception”. An internal call.

I hurriedly swallowed the chocolate and swiftly picked up the receiver.

“Good afternoon. This is Aosawa, the secretary.”

‘Reception, Wada here. Good afternoon.’

Startled by the sudden call, I exchanged glances with Yui-san. There shouldn’t have been any appointments scheduled for this afternoon. Pinning the receiver to my shoulder, I pulled a notepad from the desk drawer.

“What’s the matter?”

‘Ah, um, I’m terribly sorry for the sudden call. Actually, there’s an urgent visitor here for the President…’

The hushed voice sounded troubled, making me tilt my head.
　Somehow, this situation felt familiar. A bad feeling… was creeping in.

“A visitor?”

‘Yes, well… it’s Kitakami-san from the Holding company, who’s been here before…’

A wave of revulsion washed over me, making my hair stand on end. The pen tip I was about to use to take notes trembled slightly.

‘Ah, just a moment, please…!’

　Suddenly, Wada-san’s panicked voice came over the phone before it clicked off abruptly. Only the mechanical tone of ‘tu-tu-tu’ echoed from the receiver.

“Kanata, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

I met Yui-san’s worried gaze.
I felt the blood drain from my face, right down to my toes. I must have been as white as a sheet.

“Yui… Kitakami-san’s here. He’s probably heading this way.”

For a moment, Yui’s eyes widened dramatically, then she visibly frowned, her brows knitting together in obvious displeasure. It was an expression I’d never seen before. I’d never seen Yui this angry.

“…Right. I’ll be off then. Kanata, stay here.”

“Ah…”

I watched her retreating back, striding purposefully towards the door, in stunned silence.

Why on earth had he turned up so suddenly, at this particular moment? Yui-san had specifically told Kitakami-san not to come to the office.

Why today, breaking that promise? What business could he possibly have…

I don’t know. Only unpleasant thoughts swirled round and round in my head.

—Am I allowed to be here? Is it alright to hide? Really?

Suddenly, I heard a commotion beyond the president’s office door.
Unable to sit still, I found myself standing and dashing out of the president’s office.

In the middle of the office, under the gaze of every employee on the floor, I caught sight of the two facing each other.
　I was rooted to the spot, as if my feet were trapped in a bog.

A deep navy suit, not a single crease. The Ichinose Group emblem gleaming on his lapel. Silver cufflinks visible at his wrists. And in his hands, a bouquet of bright red roses.

　Beneath the smile plastered across his seemingly fresh-faced, well-groomed features, the intense, snake-like glint peering out from beneath his thick, dark fringe sent a chill down my spine.

“…What is this? What sort of joke is this?”

Yui-san’s dry, cold voice echoed faintly through the deathly quiet office. I could feel every employee holding their breath, focused on the two of them.

“It’s Valentine’s Day today, isn’t it?”

The sharp-eyed man had apparently spotted me over Yui-san’s shoulder. His gaze shifted, fixing on me for an instant.

“The custom of women giving chocolate to men is actually unique to Japan… Abroad, it’s more common for men to give gifts to women on Valentine’s Day, you know. Right, Aosawa-san?”

My throat tightened, and I couldn’t form a single word. Yui-san turned to me with a start.

“So there’s nothing strange about it, is there? I just came to deliver a present for my beloved fiancée.”

――Fiancée.

The office murmured at that word.

　My chest ached terribly, as if pierced by an invisible blade.
I bit my lip. The relationship I couldn’t speak of, no matter how loudly I wanted to, he could declare without hesitation to all the staff, simply because they were opposite sexes.

It was infuriating. Infuriating enough to make me want to cry. My eyes stung, tears threatening to spill.

But I couldn’t. I mustn’t cry. It would arouse suspicion. I clenched my palms tightly, using the pain to desperately stifle the tears threatening to spill.

Kitakami-san’s purpose… I vaguely understood. He was deliberately trying to make public the fact of their ‘engagement’, which hadn’t been announced.

“…Come here. I need to talk.”

Yui-san grabbed Kitakami-san’s arm roughly and pulled him along. Then she forcibly dragged him towards the president’s office. The distance between us steadily closed.

Our eyes met. Yui’s gaze was gentle, filled with concern as she looked at me.

“…Sorry. Could you step outside for a moment? I’ll come and fetch you when we’re done. Relax in the break room.”

Her voice was soft and reassuring. I nodded.

“…Yes.”

As we passed, our eyes met. He looked down at me with a triumphant expression. I averted my gaze and fled the office.

＊＊＊

The empty break room. Sitting on the red, plush sofa, I just stared blankly at the coffee swaying in my paper cup.

I let out a deep sigh.

I hadn’t heard from him in ages, so it was quite unexpected that he’d pull such a bold move.
I want to praise myself for not giving in to frustration and crying.

　Realising what Kitakami-san had in mind made me feel sick to my stomach.

On Christmas Day, he was surprisingly quiet. He must have known the office would be empty, with everyone out due to the busy season.
To make it known that he was Yui-san’s fiancé, he needed to declare it publicly in front of as many people as possible.

That’s why he avoided Christmas – and chose Valentine’s Day instead.

　He even went to the trouble of preparing a bouquet of roses.

It wasn’t that I didn’t feel relieved it wasn’t an actual proposal… but then, he wouldn’t do that anyway. He knew rejecting him outright would be pointless. He must have deliberately chosen to reveal only that he was the ‘fiancé’, calculating it would be counterproductive otherwise.

Doing something like this won’t change how we feel. It’s nothing but harassment towards me and Yui-san.

　Is promising me a position within the Ichinose Group simply not enough to satisfy him?
What is the driving force pushing him this far? It’s something I could never possibly understand.

What is Yui-san talking about with him now?

The impact that our engagement has had on his life — it might be far greater than I ever imagined.

　After a while, a single set of footsteps halted before me as I remained bowed. Raising my gaze, I saw Yui-san looking down at me with concern.

She sat down beside me, where I still clutched my cold coffee, and a gentle hand stroked my back.

“Kanata, sorry to keep you waiting.”

I shook my head from side to side.

“Did Kitakami-san leave?”

“…Yes.”

I hesitated slightly, wondering if it was right to ask what they’d discussed. But we couldn’t risk anyone overhearing us here, so I took a sip of the cold coffee and remained silent.

“…Shall we head back? It’s nearly closing time.”

“…Yes.”

I nodded quietly.

　I followed Yui-san’s retreating figure back to the president’s office. Her long, silky black hair swayed, and a sweet scent tickled my chest. My heart tightened with a pang of longing.

I wanted to shout to the whole world that I was this person’s lover.

I knew I couldn’t do that. So, at the very least, I found myself wanting a promise.

A token pledging our love, on each other’s left ring fingers.

＊＊＊

On the way home, neither of us spoke nearly as much as usual. I didn’t ask Yui anything, and she didn’t tell me what she’d discussed with him in the president’s office.

But she wasn’t carrying the bouquet of roses Kitakami-san must have given her. That, surely, was the answer.

　I want to be the one closest to you, more than anyone else.
No matter how difficult the times, no matter how painful and agonising the nights, I want us to share the pain, help each other, and live together.

I gazed quietly at the city lights flowing past the window. I hoped, if only, that Yui-san felt the same way.

When I got home and took off my shoes, suddenly, my arm was grabbed tightly and I was pulled into an embrace. It was an embrace so tight and suffocating I could scarcely breathe.

I felt her breath on my neck.

“…I’m sorry. I promised to cherish you, yet I keep hurting you.”

Her voice was faint. I gently stroked her back and held her back.

“Kanata… please. Don’t leave me.”

Her voice and words, as if she might burst into tears at any moment, felt like they would tear my heart apart.

I desperately wanted to somehow dispel the anxiety radiating from her entire being, yet being tongue-tied, I couldn’t find the right words.
I didn’t know how to convey to her, without holding back, the overwhelming feelings I held for her.

Gently pressing her shoulder, Yui-san’s arms relaxed smoothly. She looked up at me. Though no tears fell, her eyes were moist.

“…Yui-san.”

I called her name and took her left hand. Her fingers were white and smooth, without a single hangnail. Her nails, neatly rounded, trimmed just for me.
I never intended to leave Yui-san again. No matter what happened from now on.

　I clasped her ring finger tightly and drew it into my mouth. I could feel Yui-san gasp in surprise. I pressed my teeth a little harder against the base of her finger.

Yui-san’s shoulder twitched. The fingertip I held in my mouth was slightly damp, bearing the imprint of my teeth.
I hadn’t bitten hard enough to leave a bruise, and the mark would likely vanish without a trace in a few minutes. But right now, knowing that mark was etched onto her finger filled me with contentment.

“…Let me make a reservation. This finger belongs to me. I absolutely won’t give it to Kitakami-san.”

I looked up into her eyes and smiled. For a moment, Yui looked as if she might cry, then she smiled again, looking relieved.

＊＊＊

We ate the chocolates we’d prepared for each other, sitting shoulder to shoulder on the sofa. I distinctly remembered Valentine’s Day back in our student days being much like this – sitting shoulder to shoulder on this very sofa, eating chocolates.

Suddenly, Yui gently took my left hand. In one hand, she held the red ribbon that had been wrapped around the chocolate box.

　Wondering why, I tilted my head. Yui smiled happily, threading the ribbon around my ring finger and tying it into a neat bow.

“…Let me make a reservation too. On Kanata’s ring finger.”

With tender affection, Yui kissed the finger where the ribbon was tied. That alone made my heart pound.
　How does Yui-san ever think of such romantic things? My chest grew warm.

“Then I’ll tie one for you too, Yui-san.”

Taking another ribbon, I threaded it around her ring finger and tied it in the same way.

　The moment I finished tying it, her right hand gently lifted my chin, which had been lowered. Before I could react, her face drew near and our eyes met. Her soft lips gently pressed against mine.

After several kisses that barely touched, I stroked the ribbon-tied ring finger of Yui-san’s left hand.

I can’t wait for the day I slip a ring onto this finger.

“This finger belongs only to me.”

As I said it, as if savouring the words, Yui drew my body close and pressed her lips softly to my ear, whispering.

“…Well, Kanata. Is the ring finger enough? Don’t you want the middle finger too?”

“Eh?”

For a moment, I didn’t understand what she meant and looked at Yui-san’s face. Seeing that spiteful glint in her dark eyes, I finally grasped the meaning of her words.
Feeling heat rush to my face, I smacked her arm hard.

“Wh-what are you saying!? Yui-san, you pervert!”

Then Yui-san laughed out loud.

“Not just the ring finger — I’ll give you everything. All of me, I’ll give to you, Kanata.”

My shoulders were pushed, my body slowly tilting until my back pressed against the sofa. Before I knew it, I was trapped within her arms, her long black hair spilling down and tickling my neck.

Some part of me had known this would happen. Puffing out my cheeks, I accepted those sweet, chocolate-flavoured lips that descended upon me.

　The lips that pressed gently grew steadily warmer, and I could only shiver as the wet tongue traced the line of my neck.

Our words grew fewer and fewer, replaced by the sound of our heated breaths filling the room.

Just feeling the warmth of her body holding me close made me feel like I might melt away.

I want to tell Yui-san someday that this moment, when she wants me like this, makes me happier than I can bear.

　If Yui-san were to give me everything, then I too — I would give you all of me, without holding anything back.

No matter what hardship we might face, I believe that as long as we never give up, as long as our feelings remain connected, we can overcome it.

Winter is about to end.

And we will welcome the spring — the one we couldn’t overcome four years ago.