Episode 54: A Place to Return To
My pace quickened on its own.
Shiori’s words stayed lodged deep in my ear.
“You know where you need to go right now, don’t you?”
I know.
The only person I truly love is Honoka.
Even if it’s an unstable relationship, a heavy one, one where we sometimes hurt each other — even so, I —
Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my own front door
I drew a deep breath at the door, and with slightly trembling hands, turned the key.
The moment I opened the entryway door, I caught my breath.
The room inside was dark, and quiet. A feeling like time itself had stopped.
But — within that silence, I could faintly make out breathing.
Small. Faint.
Like some fragile creature, struggling desperately to breathe.
I quietly took off my shoes and walked down the hallway, careful not to make a sound.
Something restless was stirring in the depths of my chest, telling me — someone is there.
I opened the door to the living room, and—
“…hh…hh, cough…”
Honoka was there.
Kneeling on the floor, curled in on herself as if clinging to something.
Her hair was in disarray, her face — swollen from crying, a wreck.
But the instant she noticed me, her whole body flinched, trembling.
“…Yu…na…?”
A hoarse voice, on the verge of breaking apart entirely.
The moment I heard it, something ached deep in my chest. My breath caught.
“Honoka…!”
At my call, she reached her trembling hand out toward me.
“…Is it really…? Is it really… you… Yuna…?”
Her voice sounded as if she were dreaming.
She must have called my name over and over — her throat was hoarse, her breathing shallow.
I ran to her and took her hand.
“It’s me… Honoka.”
The instant I said it—
“…aaah, aaaaaahhh…!”
As if some thread inside her had snapped, Honoka threw herself against me.
The body I held was shaking, unbelievably. Cold sweat clung to her skin. Her cheeks were soaked, a mess. Her breath came ragged, and faintly, a sour smell drifted up — the aftermath of being sick.
I said nothing, and simply held her.
Face buried in my chest, Honoka sobbed.
The tears came without end, like a child’s, spilling over into choked, broken cries.
“I was scared… I thought you didn’t need me anymore… I thought that woman took you away…!”
Saying it over and over, again and again, I stroked her hair.
My precious girlfriend, worn down to the point of nearly breaking.
Yes. This is my fault.
For Honoka to be reduced to this — it’s because of me, because I—
“…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”
Tears welled in my own eyes too, without my meaning them to.
Honoka didn’t stop crying for a long while.
Sobbing, calling my name over and over.
But little by little, bit by bit, her breathing began to settle.
Before I knew it, she’d fallen asleep, limp, in my arms.
I pressed a gentle kiss to her hair.
“I’m not going anywhere else, not anymore. I’m right here.”
And then I held her sleeping hand, tightly, in mine.