Episode Eighty-Seven

“Was the data I sent alright?”

‘Perfect. I’ll send the money via PayPay.’

“Whenever suits you.”

Weekend night.
I was video chatting with Runa on my tablet.

“Big sis, I’ve finished the washing up, wait, Sensei⁉︎”

‘Ah, Shizuku-chan. Good evening.’

“G-good evening… Could you have told me first, sis…!”

Pulling at her asymmetrical fringe with her fingers, Shizuku glared at me. What could I say?

‘The apron suits you.’

“Eh, really? I bought it recently. Thought I’d try learning to cook.”

‘Ah, you’re preparing to live alone, weren’t you? Found a good place?’

“No, it’s proving rather difficult… My parents keep saying things like, ‘Why not just live with your sister?’”

‘You don’t want to?’

“It’s not that I don’t want to… It’s more like I don’t want to get kicked by a horse and die.”

Shizuku glanced at me. In that split second, hesitating between denial and defiance, she returned her gaze to the tablet and continued.

“But I really haven’t found anything. It’s not that there aren’t places, but they’re either over budget or require too many compromises. Ideally, I’d like somewhere with enough space to work on my art at home.”

‘Then why not come live with me?’

“Eh?”

“Huh?”……

After hearing all the details, it seems Runa is currently living alone in the very flat I turned down when she suggested a flat share.

‘This place is too big for one person, and there’s a studio room for making things. We could share art supplies and all sorts.’

The camera pans around the interior.
A spacious living room and an open-plan kitchen. There’s not much furniture, making it look a bit bare, but it seems perfectly adequate for two people.

‘It’s a bit cramped, but the room I use for storage could be made usable if we tidied it up. I originally rented this place to share with Ame.’

“Runa, that’s a bit much—”

“Are you serious⁉︎”

Shizuku, leaning forward over the tablet, snapped to attention at my gaze.
Her face flushed bright red as she stammered.

“—Ah, s-sorry. I… I took it seriously. It’s a joke, right?”

‘Not at all.’

Runa continued casually.

‘If it’s alright with you, Shizuku-chan, let’s live together.’

‘Hii!’

Shizuku froze.
Then, like a poorly programmed robot, she faded out of the screen.
She curled up against the wall.
I heard words like ‘living together’ and ‘shared living’, but what on earth is she imagining? What?

“Hey, Runa.”

‘Don’t look like that.’

“But—”

‘It’s true I’ve got a spare room, and a bit of rent would help me out. Besides, it’s probably safer than a high schooler living alone.’

“That’s—”

Well, maybe. But.
Runa knows my parents, and being the same sex, they probably wouldn’t object.
　Her domestic skills are a bit questionable, but only I know that.
Hang on, though… Shizuku, I’m pretty sure she likes Runa or something.
…Hmm…

‘You can relax.’

“Eh?”

‘Even if I am a lonely woman, I wouldn’t make a move on Ame’s little sister.’

It wasn’t that kind of worry, though.
Runa narrowed her beautifully shaped eyes slightly, as if gazing off into the distance.

‘I’m feeling a bit stuck at the moment… wondering if I should focus more time on commercial work, or why I’m doing art in the first place. So, I need some stimulation.’

‘Stimulation?’

“Because Shizuku-chan paints such good pictures.”

So Runa agonises like that too.
I’d always thought she was the sort who didn’t need a reason to paint.
If that’s the case, perhaps it’s fine.
If Shizuku’s presence brings something to Runa, rather than just being a one-way burden.

“Shizuku, what will you do?”

“I’ll live with you.”

Still crouched, but lifting her face, Shizuku declared.

“I’ll live with you, Sensei.”

‘It’s settled then.’

Runa laughed cheerfully.

They agreed to sort out the details another day, and called it a day.
After ending the call, I spoke to Shizuku again. I hadn’t meant to stop her, but it might have sounded that way.
　Ultimately, we agreed that if I could persuade my parents, including arranging rent and living expenses transfers, then it would be settled. Though, knowing my parents, they’d probably just give their permission without fuss.

That night, unusually, or rather, for the first time since we’d reunited, Shizuku crawled into bed with me.

“What’s up?”

When I asked, she only replied, “Nothing,” keeping her back turned to me.
After lying like that for a while, she murmured softly.

“Am I bothering you?”

“Not at all. Sleeping together like this feels somehow nostalgic.”

“That’s not it.”

Shizuku rolled over with a thud.

“Since I came to this house, and even before that… I’ve always been clinging to you, big sis.”

“You, Shizuku?”

Even hearing it, I couldn’t recall any instance of that.
　Shizuku had always been the dependable younger sister. Far more so than me.

“I did, you know. You might not have noticed, big sis.”

Both Ibara and Shizuku say similar things.
I’m not that capable a person, nor am I particularly kind.
I’ve just been playing the role of a kind person to give meaning to my empty self.
So please don’t overestimate me. It makes me uncomfortable.

“I’ve never once thought you were a bother. I’m your big sister, after all.”

When I stroked her head like I used to, Shizuku didn’t resist.
She just stayed still, looking like she was trying to stifle a giggle.

“Get along well with Runa, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Shizuku moved a body’s length closer to me.

“You too, big sis.”

“Eh?”

“You’re seeing Ibara, aren’t you?”

“…………Yeah.”

I knew from Ibara, but Shizuku seemed to have figured things out.
Despite that, she was calm about it, or rather, completely unfazed.

“You’re not surprised?”

“I was surprised. It’s just… I thought you were dating Sensei.”

“Sensei? Runa?”

“Yeah.”

Now that really surprised me. So that’s what she thought.

“You know, the toothbrush and stuff…”

“Ah”

Come to think of it, I’d passed off the toothbrush Ibara’d left behind as Runa’s.
Had she sensed I was lying and misunderstood?
That Runa and I were lovers, living together, or something like that.

“Runa’s a friend, you know”

“But you and sensei, you’ve always…”

She started to say, then corrected herself: “Never mind”.
　I knew what she was going to say next, but I kept quiet.

“Sorry for lying.”

“It’s fine… no, wait. Maybe I did mind a bit.”

She added quietly.

“It felt like… she’d been taken away from me.”

“Shizuku, you’ve always been close to Runa, haven’t you?”

After I said that, Shizuku rolled over again.

“Half of it, anyway.”

Half?
Half was jealousy towards her sister, who lived with the person she admired.
Then what about the other half?

“I’m going to sleep now.”

Shizuku operated the remote by her pillow and dimmed the lights.
Night seeped steadily into the darkened room.
I thought she disliked me. I felt she was avoiding me.
　But perhaps that wasn’t really the case.
Just as beneath my kindness lay vanity, a sense of duty, and emptiness, perhaps something was hidden beneath Shizuku’s cold demeanour too.
Like in the old days, I slipped my arm gently beneath her pillow.
Shizuku was probably still awake, but she accepted it without resistance.
Through her upper arm, I felt the soft weight and warmth of her body.
　My one and only sister.
So nostalgic, so precious.
I find myself thinking I should do the same for Ibara next time.
Surely, there won’t be another night when I sleep in the same bed as Shizuku.
We’ve grown up, and we can never return to childhood.
But tonight, I felt I might sleep deeply.
Like that summer holiday night long ago, when we’d played ourselves out and flung ourselves into the same futon.